Movie Meltdown

Later,,,,

2012-01-26T18:56:00.000-08:00

IN BRUGES-2008-This Tarantino inspired junk is about 2 hit men (Colin Farrell & Brendan Gleeson) who hide out in Bruges, Belgium waiting for instructions from their boss (Ralph Fiennes). What good can be said of a movie where Farrell (one of the most overrated actors in history) kills a priest and child, beats up a woman and is also the romantic lead in this stupid violent comedy-drama? Not much. It was the first full length film by stage director/playwright Martin McDonagh. Let's hope he sticks to what he knows best. Carpentry perhaps?

Thanks to my pal Tony for lending me this.

Eye of The West

2012-01-26T18:41:00.000-08:00

AN EYE FOR AN EYE-1966-A former bounty hunter named Talion (Robert Lansing) wants revenge on an outlaw Ike Slant (Slim Pickens) who killed his wife and son. Along the way he meets young bounty hunter Benny Wallace (Patrick Wayne) who's also after Slant. In an early shootout with Slant Talion's gun hand is crippled and Wallace is blinded. Somehow they try to combine Wallace's sightless draw with Talions's gun-less sight. This is an ok low budget western with Pickens at his slimiest. Paul Fix is the local Sheriff and his daughter is played by Gloria Talbott (in her last role). Clint Howard is her son and Clint's old man Rance also has a small role. Strother Martin nearly steals the show as creepy Turnbull the fink.

AEFAE was directed by Michael Moore (Not the fat documentary film guy) who later made THE FASTEST GUITAR ALIVE with Roy Orbison. And it was co-written by actor Bing (father of Kurt) Russell. Lansing was in a TV series THE MAN WHO NEVER WAS at the time.

Thanks for reading!

There's No Reason...For This Movie

2012-01-26T18:08:00.000-08:00

APOLLO 18-2011-The premise of this stupid film is that the Apollo space missions didn't end with number 17. There was one more secret moon landing. What follows is suppose to be footage "found" on the internet that purports to tell the real tale. 2 US astronauts land on the moon. While walking around they discover a Russian spacecraft. Later they find the corpse of a cosmonaut.

At first I thought this disaster might hold some promise but in turned into an ALIEN/BLAIR WITCH influenced conspiracy film. Moon rocks it seems are actual living entities. The tag line on the poster read "There's a reason we never went back to the moon" but in fact "we" did go back to the moon several times before the fictional number 18 did, so what the hell does that line mean?

I didn't know anything about the director Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego (from Madrid) and after this I don't care.

Thanks for reading!

Wicked Stuff?

2012-01-16T18:34:00.001-08:00

WICKED WICKED-1973-This typical slasher/stalker film was shot in "duo-vision" a split screen process showing two different scenes at one time.

Randolph Roberts (later Chuck Cunningham, Richie's older brother in TV's HAPPY DAYS) plays Jason, a handyman/custodian/electronics expert who also kills women (while wearing a scary mask) who come to stay at the hotel where he works. The split screens not only shows the goings on in the hotel but also provide flashbacks while certain characters talk about their lives.

Tiffany Bolling is a singer (and does the horrible theme song) who performs at the hotel and Jason 's next target. David Bailey (later a regular on the soap opera ANOTHER WORLD) is the house detective (and Bolling's character's ex-spouse) trying to figure it out and Scott Brady (who had a role in THE NIGHT STRANGLER the same year) is a no nonsense detective he butts heads with. Roger Bowen (the original Col. Blake in the movie version of MASH) is the pompous hotel manager. Madeleine Sherwood and Arthur O'Connell are also in it. Edd Brynes (formerly TV's Kookie on 77 SUNSET STRIP) is a red herring waiter who uses the phrase "honest bread" a few times. Meanwhile an old woman plays the organ as background music.

It's a little better than the usual serial killer stuff clogging up '70's cinema, uses some ironic comic touches and puts the split screen to good use. This was the last feature film directed by Richard L. Bare (who also wrote the screenplay), better known for his TV work on such comedies as GREEN ACRES. Lyrics to the insipid songs are by Irwin Levine who co-wrote "This Diamond Ring". Charles Pierce was the set decorator. Actor Bailey later died in an accidental drowning.

Thanks for reading!

Hotel In Thailand

2012-01-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

THE HOTEL!!-2002-Cool ghost story from Thailand. After the death of their mother a brother and sister return to an old hotel their father runs hoping to re-model it. Several deaths occur and it seems their father is to blame but when the police try to arrest him he resists and dies in a shoot out. Other deaths follow and soon it appears a vengeful ghost is out to destroy them. Some good visual effects highlight the serious story although there is one stand out comic scene involving a witch doctor who comes to exorcise the ghost (at least I think it was suppose to be intentionally funny!). It was written and directed by Anukul Jarotok.

Thanks for reading!

PS-Sorry I couldn't find a shot of a poster. I couldn't do a good search though. I have to go out!

Oscar Wilde Should Sue Them!

2012-01-09T17:38:00.000-08:00

PACT WITH THE DEVIL-2001-This is a not very interesting take-off on “The Picture of Dorian Gray” with Malcolm McDowell as a devil like manager who promotes a would be photographer (Ethan Erickson) to the top male model. Cleverly re-named Dorian he has a picture that ages while he doesn’t. Eventually he becomes depraved, uses drugs and kills some people. McDowell (who saves the whole thing) narrates the story told in flashback. Director Allan A. Goldstein also made DEATH WISH V.

Thanks for reading!

Mad Monk!

2012-01-09T17:27:00.000-08:00

RASPUTIN: THE MAD MONK-1966-Christopher Lee plays the title role in this very entertaining but historically inaccurate Hammer production.

The drunken and gluttonous Rasputin is first introduced at an inn where he saves the life of the owner's young son. They then throw a party where he does a wild dance, seduces the owner's daughter and cuts off the hand of an older son. Later he wins a drinking contest and takes up with a drunken disbarred doctor (Robert Duncan). Barbara Shelley is Sonia, the Czarina's lady in waiting who comes under the mad monk's thrall and causes an "accident" that gets him in good with the ruling class. When he grows tired of Sonia he makes her commit suicide and sets his sights on Vanessa (Suzan Farmer) another lady. Sonia's brother tries to take revenge but is killed with acid. Eventually the doctor and Vanessa's boyfriend (Richard Pasco, also in THE GORGON) do away with him in a nice finale. Also with Joss Ackland and Michael Ripper.

Lee is great as the crazy but self assured Rasputin with his long hair and beard and piercing eyes. He and Shelley had just been in DRACULA, PRINCE OF DARKNESS the year before and some of the sets were re-used here. Director Don Sharp made several movies with Lee including 2 in the Fu Manchu series, DEVIL SHIP PIRATES and BEAR ISLAND.

Thanks for reading!

Jet For The Defense!

2012-01-04T18:10:00.000-08:00

BORN TO DEFENSE-1986-Star/director Jet Li plays a Chinese soldier turned rickshaw driver at the end of WW2. It’s kind of a throw back to the Shaw Bros. of the ’70’s with dumb dubbed dialogue and Li’s persistent fights with snotty abusive foreigners (mostly American sailors). A battle between Jet and a much bigger “no good Yankee” eventually turns into something resembling a hardcore wrestling match. When the evil racist Americans kill his best friend and would be girlfriend he’s arrested and beaten up by the police. He vows revenge and gets it.

The Restless

2012-01-03T17:09:00.000-08:00

THE RESTLESS-2006-In this South Korean action fantasy a bounty hunter Yi Gwak (Woo-sung Jong) is betrayed by the townsfolk who hired him because he is a wanted man and they need the reward money. They drug him and he seems to die. He winds up in "mid-heaven" a place where souls wait to be reborn. However for some reason he is not dead and he's just in time to help battle invading demons. He meets So-hwa (Tae-hee Kim)) leader of the White Reapers who also happens to be this deceased lover (flashbacks show she was burned as a witch). Ban-chu (Jun-ho Heo) is a bad guy who wants "the holy stone" So-hwa has in her possession.

Here's some great action scenes with swordplay and characters bursting into flames when they are killed and the crazy out of control finale where Yi takes on a whole evil army by himself is cool but this is essentially a love story so be prepared for some slow parts.

Star Woo was in THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE WEIRD after this. It was the directorial debut of Dong-oh Cho and Dong-oh Jo, a brother team who had previously been assistant directors.

Thanks for reading!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T16:55:00.000-08:00

ABRAHAM LINCOLN-1930-This was the first sound film made by the legendary DW Griffith but for years inferior copies missing some scenes had been the only ones in circulation. A few years ago Kino put out a version with the missing scenes restored but the soundtrack for these parts seems to be lost and are shown with subtitles.

Walter Huston plays Honest Abe. The prologue shows a horrifying slave ship (though the African slaves seem mostly to be made up white actors) where some slaves are thrown overboard. The episodic biography begins with his log cabin birth, rail splitting, courting of Ann Rutledge (Una Merkel) and his subsequent pining after her death, meeting and marrying Mary Todd (Kay Hammond), his debates with Stephen Douglas and his election to the presidency and of course The Civil War. It all happens at a fairly brisk clip with each period dealt with just a couple of scenes (although the War is more detailed). It ends with his assassination by fanatical John Wilkes Booth (Ian Keith). Jason Robards Sr. plays his friend Billy.

Like many early "talkies" however it suffers from a mediocre script, stilted acting and stage play like direction. In an earlier scene Huston is wearing a ridiculous amount of make-up but his performance when Lincoln becomes president is heartfelt. Stephan Vincent Benet is credited with the adaptation. Griffith made only one more film after this.

Thanks again to my pal Tony for finding this and thanks for reading!

Short Them

2011-12-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

THEM-2006-Excellent suspenseful French production. A man and woman in a country home are terrorized by unknown intruders. It’s very tense and better than anything produced in the US in the 10 years. The filmmakers seem to say it was based on a true story but I don’t know for sure. See it anyway! The two directors (David Moreau & Xaiver Palud) later made the US version of THE EYE.

Sorry this review was so short but the year is winding down and so am I!

Happy New Year once again and thanks for reading!

Nudie Cuties

2011-12-30T20:37:00.000-08:00

NUDE ON THE MOON-1961-Infamous nudie exploitation film from Doris Wishman, perhaps the only female nudie director in film history.

Two stupid scientists (one young, one older) fly to the moon and encounter a race of women who wander around topless. The pair take photos and make notes while the girls show off their “moon boobs”. Their leader talks by telepathy and the young egghead falls for her. A song “I’m Mooning Over You” plays every time they meet. It’s sung by Tony Sandler who later was half of the popular ‘60’s sing duo Sandler & Young.

This color production is well photographed and the post-synch dialogue (a standard in Wishman films) is done better than usual. It was filmed in Miami.

Praise The Lord!

2011-12-30T20:27:00.000-08:00

SWEET JESUS, PREACHERMAN-1973-Roger E. Mosley (who was in THE MACK the same year) stars as a hit man who pretends to be a Baptist preacher in Watts to fix up the criminal activities of a mobster (William Smith, who was in INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS the same year). Michael Pataki is a racist senator trying to get the black vote. His assistant is played by Marla Gibbs (soon to be the smart talking maid on TV’s THE JEFFERSONS). The dialogue and some of the acting is laughable at times but there’s some action to keep the story interesting.

Director Henning Schellerup was also a cinematographer on many films and made some pseudo-docu-dramas (like IN SEARCH OF HISTORIC JESUS) for Sunn Classics. Smith and Pataki were in GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE the next year.

Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!

Strummer!

2011-12-30T20:20:00.000-08:00

LET’S ROCK AGAIN!-2004-This is a great documentary/tribute to punk-rock legend Joe Strummer and his group The Mescalaros as they tour America and Japan. There’s a lot of music footage and Strummer is interviewed throughout and is both serious and funny. It’s hard to believe the singer/guitar player from THE CLASH had to do his own promoting for a few gigs but he seems to take it all in stride as a part of the changing times.

Director Dick Rude wrote the Alex Cox film STRAIGHT TO HELL which Strummer had a role in. Joe (who was born in Turkey) passed away in 2002.

I'm glad I got to see them live! Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!

Early AIP

2011-12-28T19:19:00.000-08:00

THE PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES-1955-A weird (man in a suit) sea monster with fins, fangs and big eyes terrorizes some a coastal fishing village. Dr. Stevens (Kent Taylor) investigates when one of the victims has radiation burns. He meets Prof. King (Michael Whalen, later in MISSILE TO THE MOON) who's conducting secretive experiments. Stevens becomes sweet on King's daughter (Cathy Downs) and worries about her safety after a meeting with the monster who is guarding a strange shaft of light.

Meanwhile the Prof.'s secretary (Vivi Janiss) blames King for the death of her son. Phil Pine plays the Prof.'s assistant who's actually working for a spy ring and tries to kill Stevens with a spear gun. This a good low budget horror time waster.

PHANTOM was released by American Releasing Corporation just before they changed their name to American International Pictures. Screenwriter Lou Rusoff wrote many great "B" movies in the '50's including THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED which played on a double bill with PHANTOM.

Director Dan Milner was mostly a film editor but also made FROM HELL IT CAME (with his brother Jack who was PHANTOM's producer) two years later. Music is by the great Roland Stein.

Swinging Around London With Pete and Sam

2011-12-27T18:11:00.000-08:00

SALT AND PEPPER-1968-Swinging London nightclub owners Charles Salt (Sammy Davis Jr.) and Christopher Pepper (Peter Lawford) become involved in espionage when 2 British secret agents are killed in their club. Sammy does a very '60's psychedelic number called "I Like The Way You Dance" with Go Go dancers while playing a guitar. Michael Bates is the stupid Inspector Crabbe who believes the team is to blame. The duo (who seem to be smoking in every scene) say lots of hip humorous lines (with some racial humor and jokes concerning the words "fag" and "boy") and get shot at while driving around in Salt's weird car that has some Aston Martin like gadgets. They go to a barber shop and somehow wind up on nuclear submarine and discover a plot to overthrow the English government.

Also with Iilona Rodgers, Graham Stark, Calvin Lockhart and Jeremy Lloyd. This seems to be influenced by the Matt Helm series, I SPY (which Salt makes a reference to), THE MAN FROM UNCLE and even GET SMART. Director Richard Donner went on to bigger things but around this time he was making "Danger Island" segments for THE BANANA SPLITS TV show.

It's a strange mixture of comedy, action, violence and drama written by Michael Pertwee, brother of Dr. Who's Jon Pertwee. Lawford had a role in Otto Preminger's bomb SKIDOO the same year. Both he and Davis were executive producers. It ends with the words: It's Over. But they actually made a sequel in 1970 called ONE MORE TIME (directed by Jerry Lewis!).

Thanks for reading!

Hail Atlantis

2011-12-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

ATLANTIS THE LOST CONTINENT-1961-While out plying their trade a Greek fisherman Demetrius (Anthony Hall aka Sal Ponti)) and his father rescue Antilla (Joyce Meadows) a bitchy princess ( "Don't touch me. You smell of fish").

Eventually she convinces the superstitious and easily deceived young man to take her back to her home beyond "the pillars of Hercules" which of course turns out to be the legendary Atlantis before it became lost. Somehow they fall in love. After they are picked up by an Atlantean submarine Demetrius is made a slave. Edgar Stehli is Antilla's weak kneed father/king and Ed Platt is the high priest who knows that doomsday is near. Though technically and scientifically advanced (they have a death ray and make human slaves into animal people sort of like in ISLAND OF LOST SOULS) it's an evil and despotic empire. Demetrious battles a giant in the ridiculous ordeal of fire and water to win his freedom and is visited by a blue skinned Neptune in a dream sequence. The scheming Zaran (John Dall) plots with Sonoy the astrologer (Frank DeKova with eye patch and earring) to attack the rest of the world. Demetrious leads a slave uprising just as Atlantis is destroyed but he and his love get away. Berry Kroeger is a scientist ("Why do they always take my best specimens away?" ) and Gene Roth has an un-billed role (and if you had to wear the embarrassing head gear he wears you'd want to be un-billed too!).

William Smith, Jay Novello and Nestor Paiva are also in it with Paul Frees narrating. This George Pal directed fantasy is very entertaining and imaginative but not nearly on the budget of his previous effort THE TIME MACHINE. Some action scenes were lifted from Pal produced THE NAKED JUNGLE and QUO VADIS. It's based on an English play.

Thanks to my pal Tony for getting me this and thanks for reading!

Black & White Hammer

2011-12-15T18:54:00.000-08:00

THESE ARE THE DAMNED-1963-American vacationing in London Simon Wells (Macdonald Carey, a little too old for his role) is beat up by a gang of Teddy Boys. Although they all dress in leather jackets their leader King (Oliver Reed) wears a suit jacket. Somehow Simon winds up falling in love with King's sister Joan (Shirley Anne Field). While hiding from King on an island they come upon a group of children who are being used in a government experiment involving radioactivity.

This b & w thriller directed by ex-patriot American Joseph Losey (he'd gone to England after being blacklisted in the '50's) takes a little time to get started but is very effective and has an eerie climax. Also with Viveca Lindflors, Alexander Knox and James Villiers.

The above poster makes it seem like a horror film when it's actually a science fiction drama with some social commentary,

This was a Hammer-Seven Arts co-production and the executive producer was Michael Carreras.

Thanks for reading!

What's That Crawling Across Your Mind?

2011-12-07T19:11:00.000-08:00

THE GREEN SLIME-1968-A giant asteroid is on a collusion course with Earth. Members of a crew aboard space station Gamma are sent to investigate. Robert Horton is Jack Rankin the kind of egotistical, hard edged commander who is sent to the satellite to over see things. Richard Jaeckel is Vince Elliot the commander in charge of Gamma who also happens to been a rival of Rankin's. Elliot's fiancée(Luciana Paluzzi ) was also once sweet on Rankin. It seems Vince once made a mistake that cost some crewmen their lives, blah, blah.. The asteroid is destroyed but not before a living green fungus is brought aboard ship.

Although this was made at Toei Studios in Japan and has a Japanese director none of the cast members are Asian (it was a co-production with MGM) but seeing some of the cheesy sets and effects makes you think Star-Man or Rhodan might pop up! The tentacle monsters the slime grows into looks like Syd & Marty Kroft rejects! It's hilarious!

And it doesn't help that the male crew wear toy motorcycle helmets. It's funny to see Horton being a hard ass while wearing one. A briefly seen nurse is played by Linda Miller (Jackie Gleason's daughter). Co-screenwriter Bill Finger was a comic book writer who helped Bob Kane develop the original Batman character. Director Kinji Fukasaku was a busy film maker right up until his death in 2007. His other films include the whacky MESSAGE FROM SPACE, GRAVEYARD OF HONOR and BATTLE ROYALE 1 and 2. It seems the one thing everyone really remembers about this movie is the awesome theme song!

Thanks for reading!

RIP Irene Kaelin

"It will reach out with it's magnetic arms...."

2011-12-01T15:52:00.000-08:00

THE MAGNETIC MONSTER-1953-A strange magnetic force grips LA. Two scientists (Richard Carlson and King Donovan) investigate and find that a dying scientist (Leonard Mudie) was experimenting with a new kind of element ("serranium"). Somehow the element can draw energy from the air and turn it into matter. It starts to grow and could send the Earth off it's rotation! The duo go to Canada to use their cyclotron but run into some opposition. Fans of bug eyed '50's drive in monster flicks might be disappointed as no creature is seen.

Some of the SFX are taken from a 1930's German film called GOLD. Produced by Ivan Tors and directed by Curt Siodmak (creator of THE WOLFMAN) and the two collaborated on the screenplay. Herbert Strock was the editor (and may have directed some scenes). Jean Byron is Carson's wife. Byron Foulger, Michael Fox, John Zaremba, Frank Gerstle, Billy "Whitey" Bennedict, Kathleen Freeman and Strother Martin all have roles. Carlson later was in THE MAZE, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE and THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. Donovan was in THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS the same year.

Thanks for reading!

When Capt. America Throws His Mighty Shield...

2011-11-26T18:54:00.000-08:00

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER-2011-Marvel' s famous WW 2 hero is finally given the big budget Hollywood treatment.

Steve Rogers (Chris Evans from THE LOSERS) is a patriotic wimpy guy who tries several times to join the army but always comes up 4-F. His best friend Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) makes it easily and goes off to war. Eventually a German doctor (Stanley Tucci) picks Rogers to be the US army's test subject in their "Super Soldier" experiment. Hugh Weaving is fine as Johan Schmidt aka The Red Skull who with his Nazi based group Hydra plans to destroy the world. He's assisted by Dr. Armin Zola (Toby Jones from HARRY POTTER AND THE DEADLY GALLOWS) looking a lot like Truman Capote.

Tommy Lee Jones is the skeptical Colonel Phillips and Hayley Atwill (the recent THE PRISONER remake) is the out of place English female officer Peggy Carter. Dominic Cooper is Howard Stark. Cap also gets help from the un-named Howlin' Commandos (Timothy McDonough as Dum Dum, Derek Luke as Gabe Jones, Kenneth Choi, JJ Feild and Bruno Ricci).

Of course it's a great action film and Evans is good in the lead role especially in his handling of the pre-super soldier Rogers. The weird twist ending features Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury. Co-executive producer Stan Lee has a cameo. Great closing credits!

Strange that this well done adaptation was made by director Joe Johnson (HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS, JUMANJI) after the overly gory THE WOLFMAN. Whoa! I can't wait for THE AVENGERS!

Thanks for reading!

Re-Animator Re-Animated

2011-11-25T15:01:00.000-08:00

BEYOND RE-ANIMATOR-2003-Dr. Herbert West (Jeffery Coombs) is locked up in prison. A new prison doctor Howard Phillips (Jason Barry) who as a kid saw his sister killed by one of West's resurrected corpses enlists West in an effort to revive his experiments in this US-Spain co-production from director Brian Yuzna.

They revive a patient who becomes just as violent as past "victims". The idiot warden (Simon Andreu) makes a female reporter (Barbara Elorrieta) bark like a dog then kills her. A revived rat causes a lot of problems and one inmate releases all the prisoners from their cells and starts a riot. Meanwhile West and Phillips experiment on the warden to save the life of the reporter. It also features Elsa Pataky as a nurse who has a brief topless scene and Santiago Segura (also in Franco's KILLER BARBYS).

Coombs is still great as the insane but always analytical West but this tries too hard to be like the original and fails by becoming too comical and over top. Yuzna should have quit at 2 instead of making this ridiculous mess.

Western Stooges!

2011-11-25T14:51:00.000-08:00

GOLD RAIDERS-1951-In this B-western former silent screen star George O'Brien plays a former US marshal turned insurance salesman named George O'Brien who comes to the town of Red Mesa to protect gold shipments from unscrupulous saloon owner Lyle Talbott. And he is assisted by The Three Stooges! Yes, Moe, Larry & Shemp co-star in this comedy drama which features lots of shoot-outs and face slapping. A sub-plot involves O'Brien's secretary (Sheila Ryan) and her drunken former doctor grandfather (Clem Bevans).

The Stooges are very funny but when they aren't around it's just another low budget western. The saloon shootout at the end is kind of ridiculous and Talbott's stand-in during the final fist fight is very bad. This is the only Stooges full length movie appearance until their first comeback film (HAVE ROCKET WILL TRAVEL) in 1959. It sort of reminded me of Ed Woods' CROSSROAD AVENGER made two years later and featuring Talbott as the villain.

Harry Thomas did the make-up. Fuzzy Knight has a small role as the do nothing sheriff and Monte Blue is also in it. Stooge vet Edward Bernds directed. Thanks to my friend Tony for giving me this!

Larry: Firecrackers?

Moe: That's shooting you, ignoramus. The men out here are rough and tough and love battles.

Larry: Well, I'm weak and soft and I love the Bronx!

Thanks for reading!

Late Silent

2011-11-02T17:37:00.000-07:00

THE GODLESS GIRL-1929-This interesting social drama is sometimes called director Cecil B. Demile's last silent film and first talkie! However the version I saw didn't have the sound part.

Judy, (Lina Basquette) the leader of "The Godless Society", an atheist group spreading across a local school is partially responsible for a huge riot (an excellent sequence) in which a woman is killed. Judy, would be convert boyfriend Bob (Tom Keene using his real name George Duryea) and comic relief atheist Bozo (Eddie Quillan) all go to jail where the men are at the mercy of The Brute (Noah Beery), the sadistic head guard. Ill fated Marie Prevost plays Mame a fellow inmate who befriends Judy. Eventually Judy and Bob escape for a while, declare their love for each other and then are recaptured.

The incredible climax takes place in the burning prison where Judy is trapped and Bob fights The Brute to save her. In the end faith in God and love win out. Many of the cast and crew were burned during the fire sequence.

Star Lina Basquette (widow of Sam Warner) should have been more famous but her career was marred by 9 marriages, legal troubles and 2 attempted suicides. She retired in 1943 but many years later appeared in one last film, Daniel Boyd's PARADISE PARK. Tom Keene became a low budget western star and also appeared in films (sometimes un-credited) under the name Richard Powers. Of course his last film appearance was in a something called PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.

Thanks for reading!

Whatever Happened to Emby Mellay?

2011-11-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

Halloween seems to have passed me by!

TOUCH OF SATAN-1971-In a pre-credit sequence a deformed old lady (Jeanne Gerson) kills a rural police officer. Later a guy named Jodie (Michael Berry) is traveling to California when he turns into a road and stops to eat his lunch by a lake. There he meets Melissa (Emby Mellay in her only movie). She talks about her father's walnut farm and then invites Jodie for dinner. Her parents don't exactly seem enthused to see him and talk mysteriously about what Melissa can and can't do. When Jodie agrees to stay the night he meets grandma Lucinda, the same disfigured old lady from before who clutches a doll and mumbles a lot. When Jodie and Melissa go to town for groceries and get a cold reception from some fellow shoppers, Melissa says it's because she's a witch!

Flashbacks (featuring perennial hillbilly Robert Easton) reveal the truth. In the 1870's Melissa made a pact with the devil to save her sister (the deformed old hag Lucinda) from being burned at the stake. When Lucinda kills another cop things kind of get weird for Jodie who refuses to believe the story. He finds out the truth in the twist finale.

This is a pretty low budget outing but I kind of liked it. It's full of unanswered questions and strange dialogue (like Melissa suddenly saying "This is where the fish lives" while looking at the lake) and although it's mostly talk it doesn't really drag as the running time is fairly short.

Director Don Henderson also made THE BABYSITTER and WEEKEND WITH THE BABYSITTER. The old age make-up was provided by Joe Blasco who later did early Cronenberg and ILSA movies.

I'm not sure if it's available on DVD but Mystery Science Theater has used it, where a lot of people learned about it. I first saw it on late night TV in the early '80's.

Thanks for reading!

Awful Spring

2011-10-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

OFFSPRING-2009-This one is about the cannibalistic offspring of some lighthouse operator that terrorize a town in Northern Maine (but it was filmed in Michigan). Canadian actor Art Hindle plays a alcoholic ex-police officer who heads a local force to hunt down the killers (they also speak their own language) who like to steal babies. It's very nasty, not very well made and the cannibals are unintentionally funny sometimes. It was kind of like THE HILLS HAVE EYES hits the suburbs and features gore and nudity. It's based on a novel by Jack Ketchum (he also wrote the screenplay) who's other novels RED and THE GIRL NEXT DOOR were made into films. Director Andrew van den Houten also made a movie called HEADSPACE.

Bean There, Done That...

2011-10-05T18:15:00.000-07:00

HILLSIDE CANNIBALS-2006-A group (family) of cannibals terrorize some teens in the California desert in this low budget gory idiocy. They mostly use torture, eat the flesh and drink the blood of their victims but they also grunt and groan and fight amongst themselves a lot. Somehow another guy who's daughter was killed by the tribe has tracked them down and wants revenge but he gets killed the first time he attacks them! This is suppose to have been inspired by the (possibly fictional) legend of Sawney Bean, a Scottish madman who terrorized his native land with a his own family of cannibals but the real influence is THE HILLS HAVE EYES (which may have be influenced itself by the Bean legend). The director Leigh Scott plays the head of the clan.

I just read the DVD box also makes reference to THHE and the Bean legend!

Thanks for reading!

Chuck vs. Rodney

2011-10-03T16:59:00.000-07:00

THE PROJECTIONIST-1971-This unusual feature has once popular NYC children's host Chuck McCann as a movie loving projectionist who works in a theater run by a pompous and demanding manager (Rodney Dangerfield in his movie debut). When not working he wanders the city, plays pool and dreams he's a celebrity. Sometimes he imagines he's a superhero called "Captain Flash". These are Flash Gordon inspired sequences but are more like a take on silent films and comic books (Dangerfield also appears as the villain "The Bat") as the characters never talk. Word balloons are used instead. These parts are clever but a little silly now (maybe not so much in the early '70's). Ina Balin plays the girl of his dreams.

The biggest surprise in this unique low budget wonder is the use of so many mainstream Hollywood movies (especially CASABLANCA, FLASH GORDON and CITIZEN KANE). There's also a strange commercial on TV for The Christian-Judeo Good Guy Kit.

THE PROJECTIONIST was made by Harry Hurwitz (he also appears as an usher) who later made AUDITIONS, FAIRY TALES, NOCTURNA, SAFARI 3000 and others. He died in 1995 at the age of 57.

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Busy Weekend-Quick Review

2011-09-24T12:18:00.000-07:00

TO HELL WITH THE DEVIL-1981-John Woo made this good vs. evil horror-comedy with part of the storyline borrowed from BEDAZZLED a year before PLAN JANE TO THE RESCUE. Ricky Hui (also in PLAN JANE) is Bruce, a pop singer/songwriter who makes a deal with the Devil's henchman (Stanley Tong) to become a star. Needless to say nothing turns out right and a priest (Paul Chun) tries to help him out. There's a lot of whacky comedy and well choreographed fights.

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Sleaze with Stars

2011-09-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

POOR PRETTY EDDIE-1975-Leslie Uggams plays singer Liz Weatherly (apparently known for singing the Star Spangled Banner on TV).When her car brakes down in the back woods somewhere she runs into some demented hillbillies at restaurant/motel. It’s run by floozy digusto drunk Bertha (Shelly Winters) and her Elvis impersonating psycho lover Eddie (Michael Christian). Unfortunately, Bertha gets jealous when Eddie decides to hold Liz prisoner. Ted Cassidy (former TV 's Lurch) is the hired hand who they both order around. Slim Pickens plays a perverted redneck sheriff with an idiot assistant. It’s a pretty sleazy and bizarre film with the low light being the sicko scene of Eddie raping Liz inter-cut with a scenes of Cassidy and some other rednecks watching two dogs humping (while a country love song plays)! After some weird goings on Eddie wants to marry Liz. Dub Taylor plays the Justice of the Peace. Cassidy seems to die twice but manages to break up the wedding ceremony where Liz get her revenge (while "Amazing Grace" is heard).

Director Richard Robinson made other unusual movies like ADULTERY FOR FUN AND PROFIT and IS THERE SEX AFTER MARRIAGE?. Cinematographer David Worth may have been a co-director.

I really wonder about some of the casting in this movie. Pickens, Cassidy and Taylor would have done anything, but two years later Uggams played a major role the hot mini-series ROOTS. Was her singing career so non-existent that she had to do this? Winters was an Oscar winning actress. WTF??

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Before Craven's Nightmare

2011-09-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

SWAMP THING-1982-This adaptation of the DC comics character takes place in “the unexplored reaches of an unmapped swamp”. Adrienne Barbeau (who was in a segment of George Romero’s CREEPSHOW the same year) is Cable some kind of government liaison assigned to the secret lab of Dr. Alec Holland (Ray Wise) who’s experiments involve recombinant DNA and making plants more aggressive. Unfortunately a thought to be deceased evil genius Arcane (over acting Louis Jordan) is alive and takes over the compound. Holland is accidentally doused with is own rejuvenation formula and goes up in flames. He’s reborn however as a big green galoot (Dick Durock) who’s very strong, impervious to bullets and can bring people back to life! Cable escapes into the swamp and gets help from a young black kid named Jude (Reggie Batts).

While it’s certainly no classic ST is ok especially for a comic book adaptation. Most of the SFX are pretty cheesy. The monster Arcane turns into at the end for the final battle is horrible and many of the scenes seem all to deliberately to be spotlighting Barbeau’s breasts but it is cool to see Nicolas Worth and David Hess (as Arcane’s lead henchmen) have decent speaking roles! Writer/director Wes Craven was still 2 years away from NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and he still had his roots planted in low budget exploitation.

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Curse from Canada

2011-09-12T16:54:00.000-07:00

CATHY’S CURSE-1977-This French Canadian EXORCIST inspired possession story is pretty bizarre. A young girl named Cathy (Randi Allen) is possessed by the spirit of a dead girl through a left behind doll. The girl was killed in a car accident after her mother left her and her father and took their son with her. Years later the now grown up son and family come to live at the family house. Cathy is possessed by a glowing eyed portrait of the dead girl who makes Cathy curse a lot, talk a in a weird voice and generally just act creepy. She drives her mom is crazy (although she was acting weird anyway…). The father (Alan Scarfe, who reminded me of Quenton Tarentino!) is oblivious to the weird happenings and a caretaker (Roy Witham, who reminded me of Mick Fleetwood) comes to a grisly end.

There’s also a physic woman who tries to help but she has a bad encounter with an evil double of herself and the picture of the dead girl. The acting is pretty bad (except for Allen who's very good but never acted again). The effects run from cheesy to ok but the print I saw had a color problem and was badly edited.

The director Eddy Matalon also made BLACKOUT.

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Better Thor

2011-09-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

THOR-2011-I really wasn't prepared to enjoy this movie and so maybe I liked it a little more than some. There were a 1000 ways for the filmmakers to screw it up but instead did a pretty good "Hollywood job" with it.

Chris Hemsworth is the hammer yielding Norse god from the Marvel comic book. In Asgard he's a very arrogant thunder god who starts a new war with the frost giants and is banished by his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) to Earth. But the real culprit behind it all is his jealous half brother Loki (Tim Hiddleston).

Natalie Portman is kind of miscast as Jane Foster, a scientist who becomes his love interest and Rene Russo is Thor's mom Frigga. Stellan Skarsgard is an archeologist who eventually figures in the future AVENGERS movie (a post end credits scene also features Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury). Even the Warriors Three are featured. Ray Stevenson is Volstag, Tadanobu Asano is Hogun and Josh Daniels is Fandril. Of course Stan Lee has a cameo as does J. Michael Straczynski who developed the story.

Actor-director Kenneth Branagh did a better job adapting this than he did Frankenstein.

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God Almighty Bad Thor

2011-09-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

ALMIGHTY THOR-2011 -In this stupid made for TV fantasy ("presented" by the SyFy channel) Richard Grieco is a pasty faced Loki and pro wrestler Kevin Nash is Odin! The have a big fight because "the prince of mischief" wants "the hammer of invincibility" that Odin has. During their battle Odin is tricked into killing his eldest son. Then Loki kills Odin but not before the king of the gods sends the hammer to another dimension. It's left to the youngest son named Thor (Cody Deal who had un-credited roles in GET HIM TO THE GREEK and THE HANGOVER before this. From his acting I can see why!)) to retrieve the hammer and defeat the evil Loki who is assisted by several giant CGI like canines. The characters speak mostly modern English ("Just gimmie the hammer, Odin"). Thor meets up with Jarnsaxa (Patricia Velasquez) and they travel to Earth. He and Loki engage in several fights. It was directed by Christopher Ray, the son of director Fred Olen Ray. You've been warned!

Thanks to Tony for giving me this (it's ok, we're still friends..).

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The Rifleman & Loose Girls

2011-08-28T14:52:00.000-07:00

I was just watching some episodes of the 50's western THE RIFLEMAN with Chuck Connors in the title role, Lucas McCain, a widowed rancher who has a pretty impressive self made rifle. He's also raising his young son Mark, played by Johnny Crawford. Many of the episodes had McCain killing some desperado and then lecturing Mark on why "it had to happen this way". Paul Fix as the local sheriff was the only other regular. The best thing about the show was the guest stars. So far I've seen James (billed as Jim) Coburn, John Carradine, Lon Chaney, Robert Webber, Vic Morrow, Sidney Blackmer and Raymond Bailey (the future Mr. Drysdale on THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES).

GIRLS ON THE LOOSE-1958-Night club owner Vera Parkinson (Mara Corday) and her girl gang rob a bank of 20 thousand dollars. They bury the loot and go back to working at the club. Unfortunately, Vera's younger sister (Barbara Bostock who sings) falls for the detective (Mark Richman) who's investigating the robbery. Double crossing and death follow as Vera goes to any means to protect her ill gotten gain. The climax features a cat fight at the site of the buried money.

It reminded me a little of Ed Wood's THE VIOLENT YEARS (made two years before) but is not nearly as entertaining. Star Corday was also in the cheapies THE GIANT CLAW and TARANTULA around the same time. Also with Joyce Johanesson, Lita Milan, Abby Dalton and Fred Kruger. This low budget exploitation quickie was one of the half dozen films directed by actor Paul Henreid (he did much more TV).

Carradine and Chaney together..... in a Western?

2011-08-22T17:17:00.000-07:00

FRONTIER MARSHALL-1939-Randolph Scott stars as Wyatt Earp who brings law and order to the lawless town of Tombstone.

Caesar Romero is Doc Halliday who despite his reputation becomes friends with Earp. John Carradine is a saloon owner who is also responsible for some stagecoach robberies. His gang includes Joe Sawyer and Lon Chaney Jr. (the same year he was in OF MICE AND MEN). There's a lot of plot involving Doc and his wife (Nancy Kelly) and a chorus girl (Binnie Barnes) but in the end history is rewritten and Earp going solo sees justice prevail at the OK corral.

Although there are several plot holes and clichéd dialogue this is a very entertaining western made 7 years before John Ford's more famous MY DARLING CLEMENTINE.

Frontier Marshall was director by Allan Dwan who's career dates back to 1911. He made two other movies in 1939. THE 3 MUSKETEERS and THE GORILLA, both featuring The Ritz Bros.

Thanks to my friend Tony for giving me this!

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MMA?DNA

2011-08-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

CYBORG SOLDIER-2008-This dumb Sci-Fi action drama has been done a zillion times before only the actors change. In this case MMA fighter Rich Franklin plays an emotionless, logical killer cyborg (named Isaac) who escapes his research lab. He hooks up with a female deputy (Tiffani Thiessen) while being hunted by another group of cyborgs. Franklin's trance like robot acting is the unintentional funny highlight of this done to death mundane film. Bruce Greenwood is the head of the project that created Isaac. The director John Steadman was a stunt director on other films.

Philippine Horror

2011-08-14T15:07:00.000-07:00

DAUGHTERS OF SATAN-1972-In this Philippines shot horror film, a guy (Tom Selleck) brings home a painting of three witches. His wife Chris (Barra Grant) resembles one of them and seems bent on suddenly killing him. She toys with a dagger when his back is turned and almost suffocates him with some burning gas. A doctor (Vic Silayan) tries to convince hubby that his wife is possessed. The picture comes to life and shows the witches actually being burned at the stake. Later Chris is hung topless above some spikes and whipped by the head of a coven.

There's too much talk and the acting by the two leads isn't very good. The ending is dumb too. It does features Vic Diaz, a comedian who played villains in many Philippine productions. Director Hollingsworth Morse made very few movies but did lots of TV episodes including F-TROOP, HR PUFNSTUF and MARCUS WELBY.

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Denmark

2011-08-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

VALHALLA RISING-2009- A warrior called One Eye (Mads Mikkelsen) escapes his captors in 1000 AD. He joins up with some Christian crusaders (?) and discovers a new land. He's accompanied by Are (Marteen Stevenson), a mute slave boy who suddenly starts talking toward the end. After breaking away from the Crusaders he's hacked to death by (North American ?) Indians. This is not an action packed sword slashing Viking battle epic as some might suspect from the title. There's excellent direction and photography but it might leave some viewers scratching their heads. Hey, my head was itchy anyway! Denmark director Nicolas Winding Refn's name is (at the time of this writing) attached to a LOGAN'S RUN remake.

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Bela's Blue Eyes In Color

2011-08-08T17:00:00.000-07:00

SCARED TO DEATH-1947-This very weird low budget murder mystery (filmed in "natural color") is Bela Lugosi's only color film! And it's narrated by a dead woman! Just before an autopsy is to be performed on her murder victim Laura Van Ee (Molly Lamont) decides to relate a flashback to the audience. She's a paranoid wife who believes her husband (Roland Varno) and her father in law Dr. Van Ee (George Zucco) are trying to drive her crazy so she will give the husband a divorce. Nat Pendleton is a dumb house detective who's sweet on the comic maid (Gladys Blake). Lugosi shows up as Prof. Leonide, the doctor's European cousin! He's accompanied by Indigo (Angelo Rossitto in his third movie with Bela), "a dwarf, one of the little men". The characters all talk very mysteriously and a figure in a blue mask keeps poking it's head in a window once in a while. Since the plot has something to do with a dancer in a green mask I suppose the cheap color process used here wasn't working very well.

Later, a clichéd fast talking reporter (Douglas Fowley) shows up to try and help Laura. Leonide and Indigo creep around and Lugosi really hams it up. It all has to do with a green scarf, a spy, revenge, a cross dresser and a murder committed 20 years before. The funniest part is when the doctor who's going to do the autopsy comes up to the body and says to his assistant "Is this the body?".

Director Christy Cabanne was nearly at the end of his long career that had started in 1912! Some of his other movies included GRAFT, the 1934 version of JANE EYRE and THE MUMMY'S HAND.

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Well Shivers My Timbers!

2011-08-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

SHIVERS (THE CAME FROM WITHIN)-1975-David Cronenberg's first feature is about medical transplants using a parasite as a substitute. It's very talking, badly acted, ineptly directed and unintentionally funny. All the characters seem creepy and/or deranged.

After a scientist kills a woman and burns her with acid, Dr. Roger St. Luc (Paul Hampton, a TV actor and musician) investigates the murder and discovers the scientist's weird experiments. His nurse is played by Lynn Lowry (from THE CRAZIES, which this seems influenced by) who has a nude scene. Most of it takes place in a trendy high rise apartment building. The parasite infects its victims and sends them into bizarre sexual frenzies. ("I'm hungry for love" proclaims an infected fat woman)

Barbara Steele (she was in CAGED HEAT the same year) gets infected while taking a bath and seduces a female neighbor. Another TV actor Joe Silver (also in Cronenberg's RABID) has the bloodiest death.

Well Cronenberg certainly got better!

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The Way!

2011-07-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

THE WARRIOR'S WAY-2010-In this surreal Martial Arts Western fable, Yang (Dong-gun Jang), a sword wielding assassin from Korea (with a baby) comes to the US and settles in a western town populated by circus performers including a clown, a bearded lady, a little person (Tony Cox) and a drunk (Geoffrey Rush who also narrates). He gets a job doing laundry and helps knife thrower Kate Bosworth hone her craft. They both have unhappy flashbacks. When the town is visited by The Colonel (Danny Huston), a ruthless killer with a mask, Yang is forced to reveal himself and help the townsfolk battle him and his army.

He gets help from Rush's character who it turns out is actually a famous bank robbing gunslinger who gave up killing...until now. The all out climax is great with several excellent fight scenes.

The assassins who are after Yang kind of remind me of the ring wraiths in THE LORD OF THE RINGS series but then one of TWW's producers Barrie Osborne also produced the LORD OF THE RINGS series!

Lung Ti (also in John Woo's A BETTER TOMORROW) is Yang's former mentor. It was written and directed in Auckland New Zealand by first time director Sngmoo Lee, a Korean who studied at NYU. It did poorly at the box office but don't let that stop you from enjoying it!

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Boo!

2011-07-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

THE BOOGENS-1981-Some construction workers accidentally release the title creatures while exploring and dynamiting a mine in Utah. They look like giant shell-less turtles with tentacles but are only seen fully toward the end of the story. Rebecca Balding (from THE SILENT SCREAM) and Fred McCarren (who was in XANADU the year before) star. There's a couple of bloody deaths but there's a long spell of character development and no action like many horror films churned out in the early '80's. Familiar TV character actor Jon Lormer is an old man who knows where "the boogens" came from. It seems every character but the two leads die.

Director James L. Conway made many Sunn Classics pseudo-documentaries like IN SEARCH OF NOAH'S ARK, THE LINCOLN CONSPIRACY and BEYOND AND BACK. He made the UFO themed HANGAR 18 in 1980. After THE BOOGENS he in went into TV.

RIP: Hideki Irabu: 1969-2011.

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The Wacky '80's

2011-07-27T18:02:00.000-07:00

GHOULIES-1985-A young man named Jonathan (overacting Peter Liapis) who as a baby was saved from being a demonic sacrifice inherits an old mansion and moves there with his girlfriend (Lisa Pelikan). During a party with his drunken stupid friends (one is Mariska Hargity in her movie debut) he begins to practice the black arts eventually conjuring up the little nasty demons of the title. His eyes glow green and he gets help from two little people Grizzel and Greedigut (who provide comedy relief). He throws another party and during another ritual makes his ghoul faced father (Michael Des Barres) rise from the grave. The ghoulies then kill his friends (one pops out of a toilet bowl like in the poster) and Jonathan must fight his demon dad.

Jack Nance (ERASERHEAD) plays a good guy sorcerer/caretaker who saves the day. Bobbi Bresee (MAUSOLEUM) has one scene.

This possession-sorcery nonsense was obviously inspired by Joe Dante's GREMLINS (made the year before) but I've read it went through several plot and script changes before being filmed. In a way the little monsters do seem like an afterthought. But it spawned 4 sequels!

Charles Band was the executive producer. It was the first movie directed by actor Luca Bercovici who later made ROCKULA and THE GRANNY.

Lead Liapis later played the same character in Part 4. England born Des Barres fronted the '70's rock band Detective and did a lot of American television. As a teen in his native England he'd already been in TO SIR WITH LOVE and I MONSTER.

Corman Strikes Again!

2011-07-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

THE WASP WOMAN-1959-Cosmetics CEO Janice Starlin (Susan Cabot with old age make-up) is worried her company is going down the tubes but she's more concerned about getting old.

She hires a scientist (Michael Mark) who's experiments with queen wasps produce a formula that makes her young. Unfortunately the treatment has some unwanted side effects. She turns into a hairy bug eyed insect with claws that prays on humans!

Barboura Morris is her secretary and Fred (later Anthony) Eisley is on her staff. They become suspicious when their pipe smoking colleague (William Roderick) becomes the first victim. Bruno VeSota plays a night watch man victim.

This THE FLY inspired horror is a very short and fast paced. It almost seems like an episode of a TV anthology show! Producer/director Roger Corman (who appears briefly as a doctor) made it between BUCKET OF BLOOD and SKI PATROL. It was written by actor Leo Gordon whose wife Lynn Cartwright appears as a switch board operator.

Both Cabot and Morris had appeared in Corman's SORORITY GIRL in 1957. Morris (who appeared in other Corman and /or AIP films) died of a stroke at 43 in 1975. Cabot (in 5 Corman directed features) was killed by her son in 1985. She was 59. WASP WOMAN was her last feature.

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Rock and Religion

2011-07-20T18:40:00.000-07:00

THE WORLD’S GREATEST SINNER-1962-Rock god or sinner? Bored insurance salesman Clarence Hilliard (Timothy Carey) quits his job to write a book. That doesn’t work out so after seeing a rock band perform (the musician looks like he’s 12 years old) he decides to start his own group and throw some bible thumping in besides. He stands on street corners with his faithful friend Alonzo (Gil Barreto) and gets some followers (one of them is Titus Moede, later in some Ray Dennis Steckler movies).

He forms a kind of cabal with a bunch of nitwits to devise a plan (“Let’s be different. Let’s not hate anybody”). He seduces an old lady for money then dons a phony goatee and plays some numbers with his band (it’s very noisy) and shakes and yells like he’s having a fit. He preaches a loony kind of Nietzsche like philosophy that man is the only god and his followers run riot in the town. After his followers start calling him “God” the devil (who also narrates) visits him and convinces him to enter politics (“Just get rid of your guitar, Clarence”). He starts “The Eternal Man’s Party” and a montage of scenes depict how he’s corrupted by sex and power while campaigning as “God” Hilliard. After he loses the election it all goes down the drain and he cracks up, loses his family and blasphemes God. In the finale the devil as a snake is super-imposed around his body and the screen turns red negative!

For years I read all sorts of stuff about this movie. Michael Wheldon of “Psychotronic Video” fame gushed over it many times. It is entertaining. If more people get to see it (TCM showed one night at 2 AM) it could become the PLAN 9 of the21^st Century! Star Carey (a familiar and weird character actor who had scenes in the bigger budgeted films HOUSE OF NUMBERS and CONVICTS 4 the same year) wrote, produced and directed. It’s badly edited and some of the acting is quite funny. In his scenes before he becomes “God” Carey seems like he’s drunk. Paul Frees is the voice of Satan.

Frank Zappa wrote and performed the theme song and some incidental music is also obviously his (some of it sounds like his “Holiday In Berlin”, a theme he used many times over).

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3 By Franco

2011-07-18T17:35:00.000-07:00

Filmmaker Jess Franco is a prolific, enigmatic director. If you think Woody Allen and Robert Altman made a lot of movies, well Franco leaves them both in the dust. At his peak in the ‘60’s and ‘70’s his most exploitative films usually feature murder, blood, a wild jazz score, nudity and many of the same cast members. Occasionally he’s gotten some name stars to appear in his films. In 1962 he created a horror character called Dr. Orloff who would reappear in many future films. Even Orloff’s servant Morpho showed up in other films (at least in name)! But his films suffered from low budgets, rushed filming, bad dubbing, censors and Franco’s insistent use of zoom senses. He used numerous pseudonyms and several versions of one movie were sometimes released for different countries! Some sources claim hardcore sex scenes were even added to some versions! Much of his output seemed obsessed with The Dracula Legend (and vampires in general), sadomasochism and lesbian love scenes. He’s still going strong today making films with names like KILLER BARBYS VS. DRACULA and BAD DAY AT THE CEMETERY but his output has decreased considerably. The following three movies were all made around the same time in 1971. This was the year after Franco made a fairly competent version of DRACULA and the imfamous EUNGENIE...AND THE STORY OF HER JOURNEY INTO PERVERSION.

SHE KILLED IN ECSTASY-1971-A scientist working with hormones and embryos (it almost sounds like stem cell research!) is rejected by 4 of his colleagues. He can’t accept the rejection and goes crazy, eventually committing suicide. His wife (Franco regular Soledad Miranda) takes revenge. She seduces the three men (Howard Vernon, Paul Muller and director Franco himself) then stabs and castrates them. The fourth is a woman who she also seduces then suffocates with a pillow. Later she drives off a cliff with her dead hubby beside her. The story isn’t much but this is a Jess Franco movie so there’s a loud jazz score to keep you interested and everyone wears bright clothing.

VAMPYROS LESBOS-1971 –This is the cult movie Franco made around the same time as SKIE and it seems to have the same musical score. Nadine, the daughter of Dracula (Soledad Miranda again) sets her sights on Linda who seeks the help of Dr. Seward (Franco regular Dennis Price) because she thinks it’s all a dream. Nadine and another woman do a nude erotic dance twice. The nude scenes of Nadine and Linda probably caused a stir at the time but I’m not sure if this was even released in the US in 1971 ! Paul Mueller and Franco are also in it.

THE DEVIL CAME TO ALAKASA-This is a more typical Franco mess…er…movie. A scientist and his wife have a legendary stone that among other things can kill people exposed to it. Fred Williams (Jonathan Harker in Franco's production of DRACULA the year before) plays a Scotland Yard detective who investigates. He’s aided by another agent (Franco) and eventually helps and falls in love with an undercover government agent (Miranda) who’s posing as a stripper.

Meanwhile, a wheelchair bound Lord (Walter Rilla) and his mysterious servant (Howard Vernon) lurk in the background. Lots of people are killed in the confused plot that is hampered by bad dubbing and editing. Also the characters do and say things that I wasn’t really sure were intentional humor or not! Miranda was killed in a car accident soon after this was completed (maybe before as the ending seems tacked on).

Don't Look At Me When You See The Title!

2011-07-17T12:24:00.000-07:00

OLDBOY-2003-A man is mysteriously held captive in a room for 15 years. When he’s finally released he tries to find out why. This violent and sometimes annoying film uses a lot of craziness to explain it’s final resolution. I didn’t like it but some folks seem to. The Virginia Tech killer is said to have posted photos of himself online that resemble scenes from this movie.

South Korean director Chan-wook Park also made SYMPATHY FOR MR. VENGEANCE which I liked better.

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Happy Sunday!

2011-07-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

CAVITE-2005-This Philippines based film was filmed on a low budget using mostly hand held shots. It’s been touted as little masterpiece by some but I thought it was very over rated, drawn out and lacking a reasonable resolution.

Adam (Ian Gamazon also the co-director, co-writer, producer and editor) is a Philippine born security guard living in the US. He returns to his homeland because of a family crisis. It turns out to be a hell of a crisis he didn’t expect. His mother and sister are being held hostage by Muslim terrorists who threaten to kill them if Adam doesn’t follow their precise directions. It’s rather suspenseful and mysterious for a while but then it peters out. The ending seems to justify the terrorists’ action.

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Fungus Among Us!

2011-07-16T17:11:00.000-07:00

SPACE MASTER-X-7-1958-A scientist with martial problems (Paul Frees, better know for this vocal narrations than his on screen acting) gets some “space fungus” off a US probe (The Space Master) and brings it home to experiment on. Unfortunately while he’s doing this he keeps getting interrupted by his ex-wife (Lyn Thomas) who wants custody of their child. Eventually the fungus kills him and escapes but the government seems to contain it until they learn the wife had been in the house too. Bill Williams (who was in a TV series DATE WITH THE ANGELS at the time) is in charge of finding her.

Along the way he meets Moe Howard playing a helpful cab driver (“Ya know she had eyebrows like you pull out with pliers”) and Thomas B. Henry is a professor.

It's like a low budget science fiction version of Elia Kazan's PANIC IN THE STREETS in a way because once the fungus is contained it's really just a hunt for the infected woman. I thought the story could have been better since the screenwriters were George Worthington Yates (EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS, THEM!) and Daniel Mainwaring (INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS).

Director Edward Bernds made many 3 Stooges shorts (and later acouple of the "new" Stooges movies), the underrated Sci-Fi WORLD WITHOUT END and Bowery Boys comedies. He died in 2000 at 94!

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Space Bugs

2011-07-07T19:39:00.000-07:00

STARSHIP TROOPERS-1997-In the future high school kids are encouraged through lots of advertising to join the military to fight insect like aliens from a far off planet. Johnny (Casper Van Dien) joins the corps mainly because his girlfriend Carmen (Denise Richards) has too. Unfortunately she takes up with another dweeb (Patrick Muldoon). Dina Meyer is Dizzy another recruit who is sweet on Johnny. There's a lot of cardboard acting and clichéd situations but things pick up when Earth goes to war against "the bugs". Michael Ironside is the commanding officier and Jake Busey, Neil Patrick Harris and Clancy Brown are in it. Director Paul Verhoven made this after the alughable SHOW GIRLS. It's based on a novel by Robert Heinlein.

It seems this story is ripe for a remake!

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Bad..James Bad

2011-07-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

QUANTUM OF SOLACE-2008-This is the second of the "new" James Bond films and takes up soon after the last one. Daniel Craig returns as the blond haired 007, a violent, no nonsense killing machine who although on the side of good mostly seems like some out of control cyborg from a Jeff Wincott video.

Judi Dench once again plays M, looking a lot less like she's smelling some foul odor than she did in previous outings and leading lady Olga Kurylenko (CENTURION) is pretty forgettable.

Bond is out to avenge the death of his lover from CASINO ROYALE but winds up getting involved with a guy who wants to help a dictator regain power in Bolivia so he can buy up the water rights! Though this is action packed it's ultimately a little disappointing. For one the filmmakers take several shots at the US especially that they are turning a blind eye to the events going on because they want oil. This coming from the country that let the Lockerbie bomber out of jail so it could get an oil deal from Libya?! Two, though Jeffery Wright returns a Felix Leiter, he's more or less a stooge/wimp and most importantly number three: What has happened to the Bond villains?

Toward the end of the Roger Moore series there seemed to be a deliberate shift away from a super villain type bad guy to some ordinary sneering known it all. Once there was Goldfinger, Dr. No, hell even Jaws but at least it was something. In this one we get Mathieu Almaric (THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY) as some bug eyed wimpy whiner who somehow almost manages to beat Bond in the climax with an axe!

Giancarlo Giannini returns from the last film also. The one woman Bond has sex with in this film winds up killed with fuel oil in a nod to GOLDFINGER. The end credits only say "James Bond Will Return". Director Marc Forster had made MONSTER'S BALL and FINDING NEVERLAND.

Dark and Stormy Crap

2011-07-06T17:53:00.000-07:00

DARK STORM-2006-Boring Canadian production involves a secret government project working with dark matter. Two scientists (pudgy Stephen Baldwin and Rob LaBelle) head the project and Baldwin's character becomes electronically charged and there's a lot of talk. The X-Files' William B. Davis is a general who wants to close the project down. The project head is a traitor and dark matter threatens to destroy the world. Director Jason Bourque made shorts and worked in TV before this. I would have had a better time eating Canadian bacon raw than watching this.

Thanks for reading!

Early Hammer

2011-07-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

X-THE UNKNOWN-1956-This early Hammer production is a sequel to the previous year's THE QUARTERMASS XPERIMENT (known as ENEMY FROM SPACE in the US). Like it's predecessor it also stars an American actor in the lead role. While doing radiation exploration in Scotland, the British army discovers a "bottomless hole" from which an unseen entity has emerged. Later on, the being which survives on energy roams various locales burning victims with radiation. Dean Jagger is Dr. Royston, a brilliant scientist trying to figure out what the X is. Leo McKern is an energy inspector who helps Royston out. Edward Chapman is Royston's pompous director. Anthony Newley and future MONTY PYTHON director Ian MacNaughton are army guard victims. The monster is a big (animated) blob. The climax involves the detonation of a cobalt bomb. Also with Michael Ripper, Williams Lucas and Frazier Hines.

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I Saw Insidious

2011-07-04T18:58:00.000-07:00

INSIDIOUS-2010-This is just a POLTERGEIST/THE EXORCIST/AMITYVILLE HORROR rip-off that critics made a big about because the director of SAW, James Wan made it.

A family seems to be terrorized in their house by some unknown force after their young son goes into a coma He's really possessed by a demon in a place called "the further" and the further I go with this review the further I can think of bad things to say about this derivative nonsense. I've read comments calling it the scariest horror movie ever but it's just talky shit with some loud noises thrown in. Parts of it, especially when 3 psychic researchers appear seem unintentionally funny.

I will give director Wan credit though. He tries using suspense and shock rather than the usual blood and gore associated with most modern horror films. Maybe I'm just a jaded old foggie but for me it didn’t live up to it’s hype!

Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne are the parents and Barbara Hershey (apparently with a new face) is his mother. Lin Shaye is the main psychic and screenwriter Leigh Whannell has a role.

Thanks for reading! Happy Fourth of July!

AKA: Horror on Snape Island

2011-07-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

TOWER OF EVIL-1972-A stodgy group of English paleontologists go to the mysterious Snape Island to investigate when a Phoenician sword is found after a woman seems to have gone insane and murdered her 3 friends there. A private investigator (Bryant Haliday) goes along too because he doesn’t believe the woman was really insane. Jill Haworth (also in the English made HORROR HOUSE and THE MUTATIONS) co-stars. There’s a lot of talk and bickering about sex and infidelity. The film features an unusual amount of nudity and gore for the time (including a severed head rolling across the floor).

Although star Haliday was a well known London stage actor at the time, he only made 6 movie appearances including DEVIL DOLL, CURSE OF THE VOODOO and THE PROJECTED MAN. He died in Paris in 1996.

Director Jim O'Connolly had made BERSERK (with Joan Crawford) and VALLEY OF THE GWANGI (with Ray Harryhausen SFX) previously.

3 Quickies. It's a Busy Weekend!

2011-07-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

CINDERELLA-2006-This is not based on the famous fairy tale that features evil step sisters. This is a Korean made sort of horror film about a girl named Hyunsu who’s mother is a plastic surgeon. She does cosmetic surgery on some of her friends who eventually wind up dead. It has some good effects but overall the plot is confusing and the ending is a disappointment.

A DIRTY CARNIVAL-2006-This is an very well made Scorese’ influenced South Korean gangster film. Byung-doo is a low level mobster who seems more like a doormat than a thug but after murdering a lawyer for a his boss he slowly and viciously gains more power and becomes more ruthless. His childhood friend who is now a filmmaker uses Byung’s knowledge to make his own gangster film and this causes problems. There’s several violent fights but it was a little too long for me.

THE TALL T-1957-Randolph Scott is a loner cowboy who runs up against outlaw Richard Boone and his two goons (Skip Homeier & Henry Silva) when hitching a stage coach ride with some newlyweds (Maureen O’Sullivan & John Hubbard). This is the second of seven “adult” westerns Scott made with director Budd Boetticher made from 1956-1960. It’s psychological, violent and very cool! Arthur Hunnicutt is a doomed stage driver. Burt Kennedy wrote the script based on a story by Elmore Leonard.

Thanks for reading! Happy 4th of July!

Cruel Movie

2011-06-30T19:20:00.000-07:00

CRUEL WORLD-2005-In this stupid movie a reality show reject psycho (Edward Furlong) kills the husband and wife winners and takes over their house. He creates his own life and death reality show and invites a bunch of young people to participate in it. He monitors it all from a special room while talking, smoking cigarettes and laughing. He also has the big dumb Claude (Steve Franzese) who kills the contestants. Furlong is a good nut but this movie is like a hundred other direct to video slasher movies despite it’s updated trappings. The director, Kelsey T. Howard was a second unit director on many films.

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Killer Kids

2011-06-30T19:11:00.000-07:00

BLOODY BIRTHDAY-1981-Three brats are all born right as there is a lunar eclipse. Ten years later they have become little murderers. They are kind of creepy but also rather annoying. They shoot their strict school teacher (Susan Strasberg), bludgeon the sheriff to death and use a bow and arrow to kill. They later terrorize an older girl (Lori Lethin) and her younger brother (KC Martel). Somehow the little dorks can drive cars, shoot guns and move heavy dead bodies with no problem. Jose Ferrer has a small role as the doctor who delivered them. Director Ed Hunt also made STARSHIP INVASIONS and THE BRAIN.

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The Conspiracy Continued??

2011-06-29T18:00:00.000-07:00

DAY OF THE DEAD-2008-This movie "based on the film by George Romero" is a piece of crap. It must be part of a conspiracy to remake and destroy any decent horror film of the past. While some might argue the original is not Romero's best work it looks like a classic compared to this talky, annoying shit which seems more influenced by 27 DAYS LATER. Once again the zombies are turned into clowns in unintentional funny attack scenes made up mostly of poor CGI SFX.

Mena Suvari (AMERICAN BEAUTY) stars as an Army corporal with an idiot brother (Michael Welch) and Ving Rhames plays an Army captain who's killed in the first half hour of the movie but comes back later and eats his own eye. As usual the government is to blame for spreading a virus that started the whole thing. Ian McNeice is a fat DJ and Nick Cannon is a dickhead private who's death scene is the only highlight of this miserable tale.

Not one likable character in the whole cast makes you wonder if a world inhabited by flesh eating zombies wouldn't be so bad....But what can you expect from a movie that's final scene is like a YOU TUBE screamer??

Director Steve Miner made the second and third entries in the original FRIDAY THE 13th series and lots of TV episodes.

I think this is also known as DAWN OF THE DEAD 2.

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Bad Girls

2011-06-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

SO YOUNG SO BAD-1950-CASABLANCA's Paul Henreid stars as Dr. Jason, a psychiatrist sent to a girls reform school to help out. He runs into a lot of bureaucracy and is hindered in his progress to help the troubled girls by the uncaring staff. Catherine McLeod plays Ruth, a social worker who resents Jason's presence. He and Ruth have a heated debate on a moving merry go round! Mike Kellin has a few brief shots as the operator and some seem to think a guy selling balloons looks a lot like Phil Silvers! Jason tries to expose the sweat shop like conditions and ignorance of Mr. Riggs, the idiot who’s in charge. At one point, the girls sneak a rabbit into the school and a matron stomps it to death! The girls then riot and set fire to the school. As punishment some of the girls are hosed down like Charlton Heston in PLANET OF THE APES! Later Jason kind of blackmails Riggs into letting him run the school his way. He does do a lot of good but when the evil matron punishes one of the girls by cutting her hair, suicide, deception and an inquiry that could lead to Jason's dismissal follow.

It’s an earnest low budget little movie but the most interesting thing about it really is that it introduces three actresses who went on to famous careers: Anne Jackson, Ann Francis and Rita Moreno! Director Bernard Vorhaus also made THE AMAZING DR. X.

Time Travel From TV to Movies

2011-06-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

ALIENS FROM OUTER SPACE-1967-This is two (or three) episodes of the short-lived TV show TIME TUNNEL edited together for a phony feature length release. Both feature the time traveling regulars James Darren & Robert Colbert.

In the first half Robert Duvall guest stars as a time traveling spy who plants a bomb in the Tunnel headquarters and escapes into the future. Whit Bissell and Lee Meriwether try to help in the present as the duo chase the future Oscar winning actor into the far future where silver and gold-faced humanoids with no feelings are building their own time machine. It all ends in a beehive in prehistoric times!

The second half also features sliver-skinned aliens. They are planning an invasion of Earth. It takes place in The Old West. Darren winds up in jail and Colbert becomes a zombie. Stock footage from another movie is also used. There are no real “name guests” but some familiar character actors like Tris Coffin, John Hoyt and Byron Foulger appear!

The Time Tunnel was the least successful of Executive Producer Irwin Allens’s four Sci-Fi TV shows. It only lasted one season and it was apparent that before the season was even half over they were running out of ideas! Many of the sets, props, SFX and even the monsters seem to be “borrowed” from some of the earlier shows (like Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea and Lost in Space).

Allen of course went on to produce disaster films like TOWERING INFERNO and THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE.

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More Lon

2011-06-26T16:20:00.000-07:00

LAUGH CLOWN LAUGH-1928-Lon Chaney at the top of his game.

He gives a heart breaking performance as Tito, one half of a famous clown act who takes in an abandoned baby girl. Time passes and the baby grows up to be portrayed by 15 year old Loretta Young. Of course Tito is now in love with her but one day finds a rival for her affections in Count Ravelli (Nils Asther). Although the storyline is the familiar unrequited love triangle Chaney once again carries the whole film with poignant performance!

Director Herbert Brenon directed nearly 130 movies including the silent version of BEAU GESTE in 1926. He made his last film in 1940 and died in 1958. Sadly Chaney would make only 5 more movies before dying in 1930.

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By Night but in America

2011-06-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

LONDON BY NIGHT-1937-Murder mystery (with comic overtones) set in London but shot in an MGM studio with American actors (some with phony accents). Future US Senator George Murphy plays a newspaper reporter who gets involved with “The Umbrella Murderer”(Leo G. Carroll) but he just wants to go on vacation with his pet dog. The always entertaining George Zucco is Inspector Jones. Leading lady Rita Johnson (in her film debut) had roles in many films later on (EDISON THE MAN, HERE COMES MR. JORDAN, THE NAUGHTY NINTIES) but suffered brain damage from a blow to the head in 1948 and there after made only a few appearances. Also with Virginia Field, Eddie Quillen and Maontagu Love. Director William Thiele directed a couple of Tarzan movies then went into TV.

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Worth It!

2011-06-23T19:24:00.000-07:00

DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE-1980-In this psycho-slasher horror flick the underrated Nicolas Worth plays Kirk Smith a deranged Vietnam vet/photographer who strangles women then takes pictures of them. He even calls a radio psychiatrist (Flo Gerrish) and talks with a Hispanic accent. Later he later convinces a prostitute to call the station and while she's talking to the doctor he kills her. James Westmoreland and Ben Frank play two wise ass detectives trying to solve the murders. I think they were trying to imitate Starsky & Hutch but they are more like Dumb and Dumber.

Worth (who died in 2007 at age 69) gives a tour de force performance, crying, laughing and talking to himself in a mirror. In a stand-out scene he talks to his "father" about how he beat up a pimp. The rest of the acting (made up mostly of TV actors and actresses) isn't as interesting and the story is quite sick (most of the victims die topless) and drags when Worth's not around but his performance makes it worth seeing. (No pun intended)

This was the only movie made by director Robert Hammer. The worst part is that while Smith is a crazed vicious killer the two cops act like jerks and aren't very likable.

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Day The Day The Movie Re-make Ended....

2011-06-19T16:57:00.000-07:00

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL-2008-This movie really sucks! Anyone associated with this piece of shit should not be allowed to even make a movie again (except James Hong, one of the last character actors left in Hollywood who has one scene).

Since she won an Oscar Jennifer Connelly is becoming a female Orson Welles.

Keanu Reeves is perfect and idiotic as the alien who comes to destroy Earth. He lacks any of the class Michael Rennie brought to the original role but then what the hell am I saying? Audiences today don’t even realize this is a remake (which it is not anyway…). Please do me a favor and don’t watch this piece of crap (and if you do don’t tell me how wonderful and rewarding it is by watching it, ok?).

Wooo, John Cleese has the Sam Jaffe role! Maybe he and Keanu should have done something with a dead parrot instead! Director Scott Derrickson had previously made such gems as HELLRAISER:INFERNO and THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE. Oh yeah Will Smith’s son and Kathy Bates are also in it!

Sorry for the rant..thanks for reading it though!

They Broke It Out..

2011-06-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

Hi! I was just watching some silent shorts DW Griffith did for the Biograph studio between 1910 and 1913. One called FOR HIS SON (1912) is a wild morality tale about a businessman (Charles Hill Mailes) concerned he can't provide for his greedy son (Charles West) so he invents a soda pop of which the main ingredient is cocaine! He calls it "Dopokoke" and it becomes a big hit. Soon he has enough money to keep his son satisfied. Unfortunately the son becomes an addict and dies at the end! Blanche Sweet is the son's fiancee and future director Christy Cabanne are also in it. It's around 15 mins. Incredible!

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Why Did They Bother?

2011-06-13T19:25:00.000-07:00

FINISHING THE GAME-2007-This fake documentary is about the search for a new Bruce Lee so a producer (played by Sam Bottoms) can finish Lee's GAME OF DEATH. It's not really about Bruce Lee or Martial Arts but more about stereotyping Asian American actors and similar to THIS IS SPINAL TAP but more influenced by reality show TV. Parts of it are clever (especially scenes from a Martial Arts movie starring "Breeze Loo") but most of it is silly, pretentious interviews with the would be loser cast members. Some are amusing but most just go on too long.

The one serious part features an Asian-American actor who tries unsuccessfully to fight against stereotyping. It's certainly true but in a way it doesn't fit with the rest of the nonsense!

It seems a little strange to be doing a take off on Lee (although his influence in Martial Arts is still felt) and '70's Kung-Fu drive-in movies (although I guess they are still popular). It's sort of like when Mel Brooks made SPACEBALLS.

I understand what the filmmakers were trying to do but maybe I was just disappointed because the synopsis I read for it made it sound like a real documentary. The director Justin Lin also made FAST & FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT.

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More Hammer Mummies

2011-06-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

BLOOD FROM THE MUMMY'S TOMB-1971-In this Hammer "mummy" entry, a dead (but amazingly preserved) Egyptian queen named Tera (Valerie Leon) is brought back to England by Prof. Fuchs (Andrew Keir; Quartermass in 5 MILLION MILES TO EARTH). Unfortunately at the exact same time his wife gives birth to their daughter. Several years later when the daughter Margaret (also played by Leon) is an adult and the result of the expedition is still a mystery Tera takes control of Margaret and she slashes several throats.

James Villiers is a weirdo scientist who thinks he can control Tera with "the scroll of life". George Coulouris plays a fellow scientist confined to an asylum. It's a nice little horror movie with good flashback scenes, some bloody deaths and an interesting, unexpected climax.

The production was shrouded by some bad luck. Peter Cushing was the original Fuchs but left early when his wife passed away. Director Seth Holt (who had made THE NANNY and SCREAM OF FEAR earlier for Hammer) died before completing the film and it was finished by studio head Michael Carreras.

Unfortunately the very hot Valerie Leon never really had another role like this but strangely made appearances in two movies featuring James Bond (THE SPY WHO LOVED ME with Roger Moore and NEVER SAY NEVER with Sean Connery). It's based on a story "Jewell of The Seven Stars" by Bram Stoker and there's a character in the film named Tod Browning!

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Even A Man Who Is Pure In Heart (even in a remake!)

2011-06-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

THE WOLFMAN-2010-This big budget gory over acted horror story is actually a kind of homage to the 1941 Universal original. (It gives credit to being "based" on the motion picture screenplay by Curt Siodmak!) Lawrence Talbott (Benicio Del Toro with a Moe Howard haircut) returns to his native England (after living in America for many years) to investigate the disappearance of his brother at the request of said brother's fiancée (Emily Blunt). He's haunted by the memory of seeing mother's bloody corpse right after she committed suicide. His father Sir Henry (Anthony Hopkins) seems like a nice bloke but may harbor s secret. Meanwhile a werewolf terrorizes the countryside and during an attack on a gypsy camp Lawrence is bitten and "cursed". He wastes no time changing into a wolf and graphically kills lots of people. Hugh Weaving is a Scotland Yard police officer tracking him down. Rick Baker did the special make-up effects and is a victim. Also with Art Malik, Anthony Sher and Geraldine Chaplin. Del Toro was also one of the producers and the score is by Danny Elfman. Director Joe Johnston previously made HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS, THE ROCKETEER, JUMANJI and JURASSIC PARK 3.

Before Larry Cohen's Killer Babies

2011-06-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

IT’S ALIVE-1969-This infamous horror film was made by director Larry Buchanan right after completing a batch of direct to TV remakes of AIP '50's horror films.

Two tourists, Norman (Corveth Ousterhouse) and Leila (Shirley Bonne) from the city get lost on a back road somewhere in Texas. They wind up being held prisoner by a loony farmer (Buchanan regular Bill Thurman) who has a prehistoric monster living in a smoky cave under his house. A helpful paleontologist named Wayne (Tommy Kirk) tries to help but gets captured too. The monster (Thurman doing double duty) is goofy and rubbery with fangs and ping pong ball eyes! Thurman’s over the top acting is the real highlight of this awful film (“Perhaps you know of my creature? It’s great and powerful! My greatest discovery!”) but it also features Ann McAdams (later in DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT) as Thurman’s abused servant who narrates a long flashback.(with no dialogue; just her narration and some incidental music) which explains how she became the farmer’s servant.

In one scene she tries to escape by throwing some liquid in his face but right before that happens you can see his face is already wet! The scene they used must have been take 2!

Former Disney teen star Tommy Kirk was at the nadir of his career having already starred in Buchanan’s MARS NEEDS WOMEN in 1967. A few years later he’d star in Al Adamson’s BLOOD OF GHASTLY HORROR. I’ve read the plot seems to be based on a short story by Richard Matheson.

Buchanan (who provides some un-credited narration during the credits) made the Bergman influenced(?) STRAWBERRIES NEED RAIN next.

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Don't Be Fooled By The DVD Photo!

2011-06-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

UNREST-2009-Stupid meandering talky movie about pre-med students dissecting cadavers. One student, who everyone refers to as doctor (Corri English) believes the cadaver she’s working on is possessed. And she’s right. For some reason the corpse is from Brazil but is possessed by an Aztec demon. Director Jason Todd Ipson leaves a lot of plot holes during the boredom.

Thanks for reading this quickie!

Not Untold Enough

2011-06-05T12:20:00.000-07:00

THE UNTOLD (AKA: SASQUATCH)-2002-A group lead by a billionaire bio-tech CEO (Lance Henriksen) goes looking for a crashed plane that carried his daughter and some kind of DNA machine in this inept boring Canadian horror film that borrows from THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. They run into the legendary monster and Lance watches a video his daughter left behind. The group argue about the rich guy's real intentions and are terrorized by a hairy bigfoot creature (shown mostly in POV shots). The direction by the debuting Jonas Quastel is really annoying at times.

My Diagnosis is Shit!

2011-06-05T12:12:00.000-07:00

DIAGNOSIS: DEATH-2010-This a weird New Zealand horror comedy (I think).

A corrupt high school English teacher (Raybon Kan) goes for a special drug trial after being told he has incurable cancer. While there he meets another patient, a female high school student (Jessica Grace Smith). They are given a special drug and hallucinate a lot. After much talking it becomes clear they are being used as guinea pigs in an experiment. The ghost of a dead author who killed her child has something to do with it too ... or is it just the drugs? It all seems to be the work of a deranged nurse (Suze Tye).

Director Jason Stutter made something called TONGAN NINJA (also with Kan). I could have been sleeping instead of watching this nonsense!

Japanese Spagetti Western

2011-05-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

SUKIYAKI WESTERN DJANGO-2007-This strange movie is really too much for words! It's like a Italian "spaghetti western" but all the roles are played by Japanese who speak in English ("I don't want to run from the shit anymore")sometimes in weird voices. Everyone acts fairly crazed and there is a lot of bloody violence. But since this organized insanity was directed by Takashi Miike (ICHI THE KILLER, ZEBRAMAN) it is kind of understandable.

The basic plot is like it's Italian counterpart. A gunslinger (Hideaki Ito) gets in between two warring "clans" and plays both sides against the other to his own gain. But after that it's a very weird but well filmed gore fest with over the top acting, stunts and SFX.

A useless pre-credit sequence featuring Quentin Tarantino as a Clint Eastwood/Man with No Name character against a very phony background seems tacked on to interest Western audiences.

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Shark Shit

2011-05-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

BLUE DEMON-2004-A husband and wife (Randall Batinkoff & Dedee Pfieffer) team of marine biologists are doing experiments with great white sharks. They are also going through a divorce in this stupid sci-fi horror movie that is either a very bad comedy spoof or a very unintentionally funny drama.

They get involved in a government operation called "blue demon" using genetically enhanced intelligent sharks. Jeff Fahey is a cardboard caricature of an army general and Danny Woodburn is their boss who provides the only entertaining highlight in this annoying junk from director Daniel Grodnik (making his film debut) which "borrows" heavily from JAWS, PIRANHA and any number of other shark related direct to video nonsense shown on the SYFY channel every month.

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No, It's Not!

2011-05-27T22:35:00.000-07:00

EVERYTHING'S DUCKY-1961-Two dumb sailors (Mickey Rooney & Buddy Hackett) who are stationed in the desert are assigned the task of freeing the former pet duck of a deceased scientist. It turns out the duck can talk so they try to find a way to make money off it but this only leads to trouble when the duck (named Scuttlebutt) gets drunk! Scuttlebutt might also hold the secret to the dead doctor's missile experiments. The Navy wants to remove the duck's brain and the two spend the rest of the movie protecting him.

It's all pretty silly and a romantic sub-plot really slows things down. Perhaps Columbia Pictures thought they were creating a new Abbott & Costello but we don't even get Brown & Carney. Speaking of A & C, Gordon Jones (Mike The Cop on their TV show) has a supporting role as a superior officer. Roland Winters is their captain and Jackie Cooper has one scene as a psychiatrist. Also with Richard Deacon, singer Joanie Sommers (whose voice seems to be dubbed...??), Elizabeth Macrae and Alvy Moore.

It was the first full length feature for director Don Taylor after a lot of TV shows. Hackett and Rooney were teamed a year later in IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD. Of course years later Hackett portrayed Lou Costello in the terrible TV movie BUD & LOU...

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Iron Ass

2011-05-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

IRON MAN-2010-2-This film is the biggest joke of 2010! Iron Man is reduced to a clown in this talky nonsensical hit which is too long, over acted and just plain annoying. The first 30 minutes had me wondering if I was actually watching an Iron Man sequel or weird promotional short about Tony Stark.

Still in Academy Award nominated mode Mickey Rourke (with Russian accent) shows up as Whiplash, a revenge seeking super villain but the initial fight is him against an Iron Man-less Stark. Don Cheadle returns as Rhodey Rhodes and dons the War Machine armor to battle a drunk Iron Man in a lounge at the Stark Expo in Flushing Meadow Park. Samuel L. Jackson has a bigger role this time as Nick Fury who says witty things like "I've got my eye on you". Scarlett Johansson is the Black Widow (this is also unfortunately seems like a major introduction for a her character). Sam Rockwell is Justin Hammer, Stark's moronic villainous rival and Gary Shandling plays a senator who wants the Iron Man suit turned over to the evil US. Oh yeah, Gwyeth Paltrow is back as Pepper Potts who somehow becomes in charge of Stark Enterprises.

Later Whiplash programs War Machine to go after Iron Man and the all out climax begins when giant Transformer like robots are let loose. Director Jon Favreau (from Queens, NY) plays Happy Hogan. I hope he sticks to acting.

Also with John Slattery, Kate Mara, Leslie Bibb, Clark Gregg and the voice of Paul Bettany. Stan Lee has a cameo and there's a post credit scene relating to Thor.

I have to admit though Downey plays a great asshole!

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Was The Book Better?

2011-05-16T17:58:00.000-07:00

THE BOOK OF ELI-2010-In this strange big budget post-apocalyptic movie co-producer Denzel Washington is Eli, a violent loner trekking across the devastated US protecting a secret sacred book.

From what he says it seems to be....The Bible!

He kills a lot of scum with a sword, gun and bow and arrow and talks about "the war" and a "hole in the sky". He enters a town run by Carnegie (Gary Oldman) who controls the water supply and is searching for the book Eli is conveniently coveting. After more killing he leaves the town with Solara (Mila Kunis) with Carnegie in hot pursuit. Michael Gambon and Frances del la Tour play a helpful cannibal couple. It's well directed but the story drags despite the killings and the surprise conclusion isn't really worth the wait (although you do get Malcolm McDowell in an un-credited role!). Also with Jennifer Beals, Tom Waits and Ray Stevenson. The directing brother team of Allen & Albert Hughes had previously made FROM HELL, DEAD PRESIDENTS and MENACE II SOCIETY.

What A Town!

2011-05-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

THE TOWN-2010-It's hard for me to believe this preposterous, clichéd talkfest was actually on a lot of critics top ten list.

Apparently a suburb of Boston called Charlestown has produced loads of armed bank robbers. This is a story about some of them (it's based on a novel "Prince of Thieves"). Co-scripter/director/star Ben Affleck is Doug MacRay, a career thief who with his dirt bag buddies rob a bank. They take the female bank manager (Rebecca Hall) hostage. Later after letting her go they discover she lives right near them and could cause problems later so Doug is dispatched to so something about it. He winds up falling in love with her and blah, blah, blah. Pete Postlethwaite is good as the florist who backs all the robberies and Chris Cooper has one scene as MacRay's father. Also with Jon Hamm, Blake Lively and Titus Welliver. This also has to have one of the nuttiest disclaimers I've ever seen:

"Charlestown's reputation as a breeding ground for armed robbers
is authentic. However, this film all but ignores the great majority
of the residents of Charlestown, past and present, who are the
same good and true people found most anywhere. This film is dedicated to them."

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Johnny & Ronny

2011-05-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

FIVE MINUTES TO LIVE!-1961-Before he became "the man in black" and a country-western superstar, Johnny Cash made his film debut in this low budget melodrama. He plays psycho cop killer Johnny Cabot who is hired by a greasy hood (Vic Tayback, who narrates the tale) who hatches a plot to rob a bank by having the wife (Cay Forrester) of a bank VP (Donald Woods) held hostage in her home by Cabot. With this threat the VP is forced to hand over $70,000. The couple has martial problems (he wants to leave his wife for another woman) and their young son is played by future Academy Award winning director Ronny Howard (already a regular on TV's THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW). Cash is demented and sadistic while holding the wife hostage but does manager to croon the title theme once in a while.

Another country-western star Merle Travis (who co-wrote the theme with Cash) appears as Tayback's flunky. It's a weird little film with a interesting, funny climax involving Howard's character and a gabby neighbor (Pamela Mason). Director Bill Karn also made MA BARKER'S KILLER BROOD. Also called DOOR TO DOOR MANIAC.

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Just In Time For Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

THE BIG CUBE-1969-Stage actress Adriana Roman (Lana Turner) retires from acting to marry rich widower Charles Winthrop (Dan O’Herlihy) whose daughter Lisa (Karin Mossberg) has mixed feelings about it. Her friends are a bunch of psychedelic mod hippies who like to hang out at clubs, say weird things and experiment with acid. Her gold digging boyfriend Johnny (George Chakiris from WEST SIDE STORY) is thrown out of his college for making LSD in his lab. When Dad breaks up a party where a dancer (Pamela Mason) does a striptease Lisa blames her step-mom (who in actuality is her real mom). When Dad gets lost at sea Mom inherits his estate and the right to choose who their daughter should marry. Naturally she sees through Johnny boy and will not give her consent. After sex Johnny convinces Lisa that mom actually killed dear old dad. They spike her pills with LSD and she becomes a paranoid nut who’s colorful “trips” are pretty wild. She's committed to a sanitarium and Lisa marries Johnny. After Lisa realizes Johnny’s a dirt bag she helps Adriana’s manager (Richard Egan) bring her out of her funk by having her star in a play he wrote that relates her trouble! Johnny winds up having a pretty bad acid trip of his own.

Shot in Acapulco by director Tito Davidson.

Happy Mothers Day and Thanks for reading!

Japanese Ghost

2011-05-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

THE OIWA PHANTOM-(aka THE GHOST OF YATSUYA)-1969-Great overlooked Japanese ghost story from Daiei. A master-less samurai named Iyemon (Kei Sato) schemes to make his life easier through marriage. He and his dubious friend Yomoshichi commit several murders but Iyemon winds up with a Oiwa, a wife he really doesn't want. Eventually he poisons her and she dies painfully (and it's quite sad to watch) but she wastes no time coming back to terrorize him. The special effects and direction are eerie and great. Director Kazuo Mori also made THE RETURN OF DAIMAJIN and "Zatoichi" films.

Hell!

2011-05-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

THE SINNERS OF HELL (aka JINOGU; HELL)-1960- A young student Shiro is out driving his very evil friend Tamura when they kill a drunk Yakuza member in a hit and run. The victim's mother and girlfriend vow revenge but even without their interference Shiro begins to see his life deteriorate little by little. There's a lot of talk until Shiro (and the rest of the characters) goes to hell and meets Enma, The King of Hell! There he gets a tour where he finds out everyone he knew are not want they seem to be and get punished for their Earthly sins in incredible early gore scenes. A negligent doctor is sawed into pieces, a corrupt police man has his hands cut off, another "sinner" is flayed alive, there's a river of blood and a burning wheel. The bizarre lighting, colors and symbolism make me believe Coffin Joe saw this before making any of his own. "Hell! This is hell!".

Director Nobuo Nakagawa scores with this one!

A Hex On Them!

2011-04-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

JONAH HEX-2010-More comic book revisionist bullshit. This CGI driven action western reduces the DC comic character into another violent killing machine. It's much like any direct to video junk featuring Van Damme, Seagal or some MMA fighter on the market today except for the western setting.

Josh Brolin (very good in the role) is Hex an ex-confederate soldier who's family was murdered by crazy Confederate general Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich; also very good) who also gives Jonah is distinctive facial scars (in the comic Apaches did it). Somehow he can also talk to the dead and he carries two Gatling guns on each side of his saddle! He also has a sawed off shotgun that shoots rockets. General Grant (Aidan Quinn) enlists Hex to catch Turnbull who Hex believed to be dead. Turnbull wants to build a "super weapon" that Eli Whitney designed for the government. He wants to use it to kill everyone on the 4th of July.

Megan Fox is a prostitute Hex is sweet on. Also with Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, Tom Wopat, Lance Reddick and Rance Howard.

Strangely director Jimmy Hayward's previous effort was HORTON HEARS A WHO! Despite the nice acting by the leads and the over all excellent direction (there are some stupid parts) there's something missing from this adaptation to make it really entertaining. Oh yeah, it's not really like the comic book character....

Here's the real McCoy!:

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Band Junk

2011-04-27T16:59:00.000-07:00

TERRORVISION-1986-This is a stupid sci-fi/horror/comedy from the now defunct Empire Pictures who’s owner Charles Band flooded the video shelves with his direct to video projects. An idiotic television obsessed family’s satellite dish is invaded by alien space junk. A blob like monster (that seems to have one eye attached to it’s penis) crushes heads and vaporizes its victims. They can also reanimate them so no one suspects expect the young son (Chad Allen). The victims include disco clad swinger parents (Gerrit Graham & Mary Woronov), their annoying grandfather (Bert Remsen) and two other “swingers” (Alejandro Rey & Randi Brooks). Their daughter (Diane Franklin) and her metal head boyfriend (Jonathan Gries) try teach the monster about Earth (“This is music. It’s almost as important as food”).

Director Ted Nicolaou made the SUBSPECIES series and other stuff for Band who’s brother Richard wrote the music. TV clips include scenes for ROBOT MONSTER and EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS.

Early Jack

2011-04-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

BACK DOOR TO HELL-1964-Three army intelligence operatives land in Manila just before McArthur to try and destroy a Japanese communications outfit. It was filmed in The Philippines by Monte Hellman so the few Japanese soldiers are played by Filipinos. The leader of the trio is played by singer Jimmie Rodgers. John Hackett (who co-wrote the screenplay) and still unknown Jack Nicolson who speaks Japanese…?) are the other two. They get help from a local guerilla outfit and torture a Japanese general. The dialogue is rather stilted and there’s not much action. Nicolson was also in RIDE THE WILD WIND and FLIGHT TO FURY for Hellman. Hackett was later a stand-in for Nicolson.

Movies I'll Never Get Around To Writing Anymore About!

2011-04-21T19:50:00.000-07:00

THE REBELLIOUS REIGN-1980-A martial artist (Jimmy Lee aka Lung Fong) teams up with a Prince (Norman Chu) in a grab for power set during The Ching Dynasty. Nice period piece with a bunch of long violent fights and a pessimistic ending.

TWO DRAGONS AGAINST THE TIGER-1975-Typical Hong Kong martial arts movie is almost all non-stop fights. A group of friends strike gold and want to find wives. However revenge gets in the way of their plans and everyone fights!

AVP: ALIEN VS. PREDATOR-2004-Millionaire Lance Hendriksen assembles a group of scientists, soldiers and doctors to investigate an underwater pyramid his satellite radar discovers. After a bit of exploring it becomes obvious that they are in middle of a war between 2 modern day horror/Sci-Fi icons! Those deviously reproducing aliens and Governor Swarzenegger’s worst nightmare, the other worldly Predators! It seems the Predators bred the aliens as a test for their mightiest warriors (and really stacked the deck against themselves!). The team is killed and a few go the “John Hurt route”. Director Paul W. Anderson also made RESIDENT EVIL, EVENT HORIZON and MORTAL KOMBAT.

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The Stooges and West Out West

2011-04-19T17:35:00.000-07:00

THE OUTLAWS IS COMING!-1965-The Three Stooges reek havoc in the old west!

Adam West (just before the BATMAN TV show) plays a crusading Boston magazine editor who goes to Wyoming to stop the slaughter of the buffalo. Of course he takes his three assistants (Moe, Larry & Curly Joe) along with him. There they run into town boss Rance Roden (Don Lamond) and gunslinger Trigger Mortis (Mort Mills) who are deliberating killing the buffalos to start a war with the Indians. Nancy Kovack is Annie Oakley.

It’s kind of dumb but the Stooges manage a few good laughs. There’s no eye poking but a lot of slapstick and even some pie throwing. Stooge second (or fourth?) banana Emil Sitka plays 3 roles. Henry Gibson plays a hip talking Indian and 1960’s children’s TV host “Officer” Joe Bolton has a small role. Not counting KOOK’S TOUR (an aborted project that was later re-edited) this was the last of the “new” Stooges feature films (which began in 1959 with HAVE ROCKET-WILL TRAVEL). It was directed by Moe’s son-in-law Norman Maurer (who also directed them in AROUND THE WORLD IN A DAZE two years before). Maurer (along with comic book artist Joe Kubert) created the first 3-D comic book as well as well as the “CineMagic” film process (with producer Sidney Pink). He managed the Stooges from 1957 until Larry Fine’s stroke in the early ‘70’s. He later created the cartoon series THE THREE ROBOTIC STOOGES and worked on other Hanna-Barbera projects. He died in 1986.

It was a comic book too!

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It's A Croc!

2011-04-18T17:34:00.000-07:00

ROGUE-2007-A giant crocodile terrorizes some tourists who get shipwrecked in an Australian swamp. Everybody fights and argues and the victims are picked off . Radha Mitchell (SILENT HILL) is the tour guide and Michael Vartan (TV’s ALIAS) is an American reporter. Both whisper a lot. Later on Vartan finds the croc’s lair and loses some fingers fighting it hand to hand! A “been there, seen that” horror film. Sam Worthington (recently seen as Perseus in the CLASH OF THE TITANS remake) is an early victim. Director Glen Mclean had previously made WOLF CREEK. Thanks for reading!

More of The Same

2011-04-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

ASYLUM-2008-More derivative psychological horror nonsense has a group of teens staying in a dorm that used to be an insane asylum for teenagers where the doctor did experiments on them. One teen (Sarah Roemer from DISTURBIA) who'd seen her father kill himself when she was little has weird visions. It seems the evil doctor has come back and is killing off the new kids. The director of this muck David R. Ellis previously made SNAKES ON A PLANE and FINAL DESTINATION 2 and was stuntman on movies like HOTEL FOR DOGS. Thanks for reading!

Early Oz

2011-04-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

THE WIZARD OF OZ-1925-Though unfortunately forgotten today in the 1920’s actor/writer/director Larry Semon was a major film rival to Charlie Chaplin. He made over a hundred two reelers beginning in around 1915.

At the height of his career he made this feature length film based on the L. Frank Baum classic. He even got Baum’s oldest son to co-write the screenplay!

But besides the title and the use of it’s 4 most famous characters this has nothing to do with the book!

An old toymaker (Semon) tells a weird story to his young granddaughter about how the kind Prince Kynd was disposed by the evil prime minister Kruel in the land of Oz. Dorothy (Dorothy Dwan, the director‘s wife who looks around 30!) lives on a farm with her Aunt Em (Mary Carr) and very cruel uncle Henry until she learns on her 18^th birthday that she is actually the princess of Oz! She, Henry and two farm hands (Semon & Oliver Hardy) get swept away to Oz and a black farm hand named Snowflake later joins them. This of course leads to plenty of racist humor. The actor who plays Snowflake, Spencer Bell is even billed as “G. Howe Brown”! For a while they dress as the famous characters. Hardy is the tin man, Bell, the cowardly lion and Semon, the scarecrow (he looks a lot like Ray Bolger!). There’s a lot of slapstick and it’s all quite bizarre.

It was a box office failure at the time (and wrecked Semon’s career) and now is really just a curiosity piece. Hardy was two years away from teaming with Stan Laurel for their first film (he of course had a small role in a 1921 Stan Laurel short LUCKY DOG).

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Rock is Reborn!

2011-04-13T18:18:00.000-07:00

SECONDS-1966-Arthur Hamilton (John Randolph), a successful bank executive feels his life has lost it’s meaning. He is persuaded by an old friend (Murray Hamilton) he long thought dead to seek out an agency known only as “The Company” and become “reborn”. Through plastic surgery and other unexplained medical procedures they will provide him with a new body, face and identity for a fee. When he at first balks at the idea he is kind of blackmailed into signing. He becomes a well known painter Tony Wilson (now portrayed by Rock Hudson). He has a house in Malibu and a helpful manservant (Wesley Addy). He meets Nora (Salome Jens from TERROR IN THE YEAR 5000 AD!) and she takes him to a wild hippie party where he’s stripped naked and has wine or something poured over him. He seems fine with Nora and his new career and life until he gets drunk at a party and begins to blab about his former life. It turns out all his neighbors are “reborns” and even Nora is working for The Company. Wilson decides his new persona isn’t for him and asks The Company to make him “reborn again”. This leads to complications as Wilson realizes it’s not what he expects it to be.

Will Geer plays the old man who seems to be behind it all and Richard Anderson is the doctor who does the operation. Jeff Corey, Khigh Dhiegh, Karl Swenson, Edger Stehli and Frank Campanella all have small but key roles. Although there’s a lot of talk and soul searching it’s handled very well. SECONDS was directed by John Frankenhiemer after his blockbusters BIRDMAN OF ALCATRAZ, SEVEN DAYS IN MAY and THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE. It did poorly but has become something of a cult film and a reexamination of the film has brought about some (deservedly) good reviews. It’s excellent black and white photography is by veteran James Wong Howe. It’s based on a novel by David Ely.

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Final Castle

2011-04-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

SHANKS-1974-In this bizarre film professional mime Marcel Marceau portrays a deaf mute puppeteer named Malcolm Shanks who lives with his shrewish sister in law and her no good boozing husband. He gets a job with a elderly scientist who with the help of a special machine brings a dead frog back to life. When the scientist croaks (sorry, couldn’t resist writing that..) Malcolm uses the machine to bring him back to life. Later he causes the death of the sis in law and hubby but brings them back to life and they go on a picnic with a young local girl Celia (Cindy Eilbacher). He throws a private birthday party for the girl, served by his dead in laws (who also dance) but some bikers crash the scene and eventually kill her. Malcolm gets revenge by having “the living fight the dead”. However he has to fight the biker leader (Don Calfa) hand to hand in the climax. He then brings Celia back to life. But the final makes it seem like it might have all been a dream-fantasy.....

This very strange film was directed by horror “gimmick” director William Castle in Canada. It’s probably Marceau’s only starring movie (he did have a role 1967’s BARBARELLA and later had the only speaking role in Mel Brooks’ SILENT MOVIE) and not made without some difficulty. Castle outlines the making of it in his autobiography. Parts of it are shot in a kind of sepia tone and there’s really not much dialogue for a feature length film. I found it interesting though some parts don’t make sense and sometimes the acting doesn’t seem effective. It was the last film made by Castle (who appears in one scene as a grocer) and having never been released on tape or DVD is his least known film. Fortunately TCM came to the rescue recently and aired it!

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He-Man

2011-04-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE-1987-I always heard a lot of negative things about this Sci-Fi movie based on the popular '80's toys but I kind of liked it!

Dolph Lundgren is He-Man who with his companions Duncan (Jon Cypher), Teela (Chelsea Field) and Gwildor (Billy Barty) is transported to Earth through Gwildor's invention called "a tonal key". The evil Skeletor (Frank Langella) wants the key and sends a bevy of super baddies with names like Beastman, Saurod and Blade (Anthony De Longis) to get it. Evil-Lyn (Meg Foster) leads them in the hunt. Courtney Cox is the earth girl who helps the good guys.

There's lots of action and crazy monster costumes and some of the dialogue is pretty funny. Despite all the battles there are really no deaths so a scene where He-Man is flogged seems a little out of place.

James Tolkan is a hot headed cop and Stanley Livingston (Ernie on TV's MY THREE SONS) is thrown in for comic relief. The part where Skeletor receives some power made me think of a scene with Langella, (an obvious ham), in the later THE NINTH GATE!).

Future TV director Robert Duncan McNeill is Cox's boyfriend and Christina Pickles is the imprisoned Sorceress of Castle Greyskull. Director Gary Goddard had written the Bo Derek version of TARZAN OF THE APES and later worked on things like HERSHEY'S REALLY BIG 3-D SHOW.

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Shout About It

2011-04-07T19:06:00.001-07:00

THE SHOUT-1978-A weird guy named Crossely (Alan Bates) claims he can kill with a magical “shout” he learned while living with Aborigines. He comes between a married couple (Suzanna York & John Hurt) and seems to cast a spell on the wife. He rants a lot to a score keeper (Tim Curry) while watching a cricket game at an insane asylum. This ambiguous talky film leaves it to the viewer to decide what was really happening by the time the story ends. Also with Jim Broadbent in his film debut.

From Jerzy Skolimowski, the director of DEEP END it's based on a story by Robert Graves.

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Galaxy of Corman

2011-04-07T18:56:00.000-07:00

GALAXY OF TERROR-1981-Blatant ALIEN rip-off from Roger Corman's New World Pictures finds a group of space travelers send to investigate some strangeness on a distant planet. Grace Zabriskie (TWINPEAKS) the weird troubled captain. Zalman King is Baelon, the mean, know it all in charge of the mission and top billed Edward Albert is Cabren, his more sensible rival.

Cabren's love interest is Alluma (HAPPY DAYS' Erin Moran), an empath. Other crew members include a pre-Freddy Kreuger Robert Englund (who gets to fight a double of himself), Bernard Behrens, Sid Haig ("I live and die by the crystals"...??), Ray Walston (who's more than just the ship's cook) and Taaffe O'Connell who is featured in the movie's most infamous scene as the crew member that's raped to death by a giant worm.

The team enters a strange pyramid on the planet and most everyone dies violently (Joanie's phony head is crushed, Sid loses an arm, etc.) but it all seems to have to do with an ancient alien "game" that preys on their subconscious fears. In the climax Cabren has to fight a giant slime worm in red lit cave and then most of his reanimated dead crew mates. Director Bruce D. Clark (from New Zealand) had made HAMMER with Fred Williamson in 1972. James Cameron was a second unit director.

Deep End

2011-04-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

DEEP END-1970-15 year Mike (John Moulder-Brown) gets a job as an attendant in a bathhouse where he meets the female worker Susan (Jane Asher). He becomes increasingly obsessed with her and eventually stalks her while she’s out with her fiancée (Christopher Standford), although she’s also having an affair with a swimming instructor. After some stalking, harassment and hot dog eating Mike has sex with Susan and it all ends tragically. This psychological drama is too talky and boring.

Polish born director Jerzy Skolimowski later made THE SHOUT. Diana Dors has one scene as a floozy who comes on to Mike and Bert Kwouk plays the hot dog vendor. Moulder-Brown was later in VAMPIRE CIRCUS and a lot of BBC productions.

Why Are They Scared?

2011-04-03T17:11:00.000-07:00

13 FRIGHTENED GIRLS!-1965-This talky, innocuous drama shows the decline of once popular "gimmick" director William Castle. 13 girls from a Swiss boarding school (all daughters of diplomats) get into trouble while on vacation. The story focuses on one girl Candy (Kathy Dunn) who's diplomatic father is played by Hugh Marlowe (EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS). Khigh Dhiegh (in THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE the year before) is the Red Chinese diplomat who's niece Candy befriends. Murray Hamilton & Joyce Taylor are the special agents Candy helps. Despite the violence and espionage this almost seems aimed a teenage girls!

Emil Sitka has an un-billed role as the school's care taker. Castle made the comical remake of THE OLD DARK HOUSE the same year. Screenwriter Robert Dillon also penned Corman's X-THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES the same year.

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Late Castle

2011-04-03T17:02:00.000-07:00

LET'S KILL UNCLE-1966-Shock/gimmick director William Castle was nearing the end of his long career when he made this weird talky mystery that takes place mostly on a secluded island.

A bratty kid named Barnaby (Pat Cardi) is the heir to his deceased father's fortune. He goes to the island to meet his only other relative, his uncle Kevin (Nigel Green who was in KHARTOUM the same year). Accompanying Barnaby is a police sergeant (Robert Pickering) and the same aged Chrisse (Mary Badham) who's going to visit her aunt (Linda Lawson) who lives on the island. Before the uncle arrives the kids get into some trouble at an abandoned hotel who's only occupant is Ketchman (Ref Sanchez) a legless, scar faced fisherman who has a shark in the hotel's swimming pool. Once the uncle arrives it's obvious he wants to do away with his nephew but since the kid is a braggart and liar no one believes him. He and Chrissie decide to kill "Unk" first.

There's a lot of false scares and talk and the ending is kind of idiotic. Also with Nestor Paiva as a ship captain. Cardi was a busy child actor on TV in the '60's and starred in the low budget horror film TWISTED BRAIN in 1974. He later created Moviefone.

Badham was nominated for a Academy Award in 1962 for her role as Scout in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD but never did much else. After a almost 40 year absence she returned to the screen in OUR VERY OWN in 2005. Lawson was later in MRS. STONE'S THING with Ed Wood! Castle made 4 more movies after this and died in 1977. Sometimes called LET'S KILL UNCLE BEFORE HE KILLS US.

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