No Fight

 

 (imdb)

LADY STREETFIGHTER-1980-This shit show starts off with a woman being tortured and killed. Then a woman named Linda (producer/screenwriter Renee Harmon) is set up to be a hit and run victim but she escapes. While talking to some asshole we learn the murdered woman was Linda's sister and she wants revenge on a gangster Max Diamond. Meanwhile, an FBI agent, Rick Pollard (Jody McCrea) watches a grotesque strip show featuring Liz Renay! At a party of criminals where men are dressed in togas, Linda walks on Diamond and whips him. Then she and Pollard have an affair. They have a fight on the beach and he knocks her out and a guy she thought was a friend turns out to be a hitman. Mindless junk directed by James Bryan (DON'T GO IN THE WOODS (1981)). He and lead actress Harmon later made THE RETURN OF LADY STREETFIGHTER (1990).

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Sho Shows Them

 

 (imdb)

PRAY FOR DEATH-1985-In Japan, a black clad ninja fights some other ninjas and a guy in a demon mask but it's just a TV show called “The Black Ninja” being watched by the two sons of Japanese businessman Akira Saito (Sho Kosugi) and his American wife. He wants to start his own local business but she wants to move to the US. Saito doesn't seem to know any martial arts and his kids urge him to learn Karate. However, when Saito encounters an old man (actually his adopted father) in a temple, they have a sword fight which disproves Saito's lack of fighting skills. A flashback shows he kind of killed his brother, a red ninja, because he is actually a former ninja himself! No sooner do they get to America and have problems. Sam Greene (Parley Baer) sells them a restaurant in a bad neighborhood. They ran afoul of gangsters looking for a priceless necklace who beat up Greene and kill him in a fire. The kids (Kosugi's real life sons, Kane and Shane) run into older bullies but beat them up. 

The stupid gangsters think Saito has the necklace so they kidnap his son Tomo for a Mafioso boss (Michael Constantine). He has a sadistic henchman named Limehouse (James Booth; also the screenwriter). Saito goes to the police but 2 corrupt officers block his progress. After his wife and other son wind up in the hospital, he invades a mob yacht and beats up a lot of white guys. Stupidly, Limehouse kills Mrs. Saito and Saito prepares for revenge. Even one son gets into the act with a supped-up bike. Saito invades the mob mansion. He cuts them all to ribbons but Limehouse lams it. The finale where Limehouse uses an ax and a chainsaw to try and kill Saito is great. Limehouse's demise literally has him praying for death. If they thought America was violent then, they should be around today! Also with Robert Ito.  

The acting is not so good but action-packed direction by Gordon Hessler (SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN (1970)) saves it. Star Kosugi was already pretty well known for his appearances in ENTER THE NINJA (1981) and its sequels and the short-lived TV series THE MASTER (1984) starring Lee Van Cleef. 

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Bad English Thing

 

 (imdb)

SPELLCASTER-1989-A bunch of dorks win a contest to the remote Diablo Castle for a treasure hunt hosted by skinny English VJ Rex (Richard Blade) and moronic English singer Cassandra Castle (Bunty Bailey). The first victim is a French woman killed by the chair she's sitting in. The drunken singer Castle is terrorized by a bunch of rotting corpses. A fat guy turns into a pig. A suit of armor comes to life. The VJ is killed by a winged monster. A female hunter is eaten by a dog. One woman meets Diablo (Adam Ant)), a sarcastic jerk with a crystal ball. In the end, when the crystal ball is destroyed, everyone comes back to life. Filmed in Rome by director Rafal Zielinski. Really bad

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Camping Massacre

 

 (imdb)

4/20 MASSACRE-2018-Two dweebs are searching for marijuana on government land. They find it but one of them seems to be killed by a monster. After the credits, 5 women go camping for one member's birthday. They are warned by Ranger Rick to stay clear of illegal pot farmers. The group meets the dweeb who didn't get killed before the credits. He gives them his stolen weed and after they leave, the monster disembowels him. Later they meet a redneck hunting rabbits. Later the monster (obviously someone in a costume) puts a lit joint in his eye. 

Meanwhile, the women drink and get high. The first camper to die has her bong shoved through her head. Two more are hacked to death. Of course, the ranger is in league with the monster. Jess, the last survivor and birthday girl, meets the rabbit hunter, now blind and he's killed helping her stab the monster. After she kills the ranger, she smokes a joint while a Rap song plays. 

The director/writer Dylan Reynolds is probably out there right now plotting more shitty movies.

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More Cars

 

 (themoviedatabase)

HOT CARS-1956-Happily married used car salesman Nick (John Bromfield) is fired from his job for being too honest. To support his wife (Carol Shannon) and sickly baby son, he takes a job selling cars for the shady Mr. Markel (Ralph Clanton), working for manager Smiley Ward (Mark Dana; in PHAROAH'S CURSE the next year). Later he meets police detective Davenport (Dabbs Greer) who's investigating the stolen car racket. Ater the delivery of some “hot” cars, Nick realizes he's part of the stolen car ring. 

He quits Markel but when he gets home, he finds his wife in hysterics because their baby is in the hospital. He goes back to Markel and meets head hot car guy Otto (Kurt Katch) and learns “the business”. He almost has to sell a stolen car to Davenport but Smiley helps him out of it. Nick hooks up with Karen Winters (Joi Lansing), then gets involved in Davenport's murder. She could provide him with an alibi but pretends not to know him. Markel decides to do away with Nick and a fist fight on a rollercoaster between Nick and Smiley caps this story. 

his average crime drama was one of the few feature films directed by Don McDougall, a very versatile TV director. Star Broomfield was in CURUCU, BEAST OF THE AMAZON the same year. 

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The Endest, Man

 

 (imdb)

GHOST OF DRAGSTRIP HALLOW-1959-After the great ghost credits opening, a news reporter (Russ Bender) does a story on a teenage hot red club where a band shoots off guns while playing “Geronimo”. Lois Cavendish (Jody Fair; THE BRAIN EATERS (1958)) is a car crazy chick. The club's kind of leader is Stan (Martin Braddock) who informs everyone they are going to be evicted from their clubhouse. Lois has an eccentric aunt (Dorothy Neumann) who plays the flute and has a pet parrot. Rival hot rodder Tony (Jack Ging) makes trouble before they all go to the aunt's old haunted house. Weird things happen and the shadow of a familiar monster hangs around. It's a male version of the She-Creature! The gang have a costume party and a guy named Jimmie Maddin sings a song called “Tongue Tied”. A guy named Dave shows off his talking car. It turns out the monster is real life SFX creator Paul Blaisdell (in the last film he ever worked on) who's mad because he wasn't in THE HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM! 

But the rock and roll music drives out a real ghost. 

Sometimes known as the film that ushered out the '50's teenage horror/rock and roll boom, it was directed by William Hole (THE DEVIL'S PARTNER (1961) and written by AIP veteran Lou Rusoff. The uncredited singer Maddin was more well known as a nightclub owner than for the few singles he released in the late 1950's.

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More Rods

 (imdb)

HOT ROAD GANG-1958-Hep cat hot rodders drag right down Main Street. College student John Abernathy (John Ashley) rehearses with his combo in a place owned by landlord Al (Dub Taylor). After almost running down a guy, John sings “Hit and Run Lover”. He's also the heir to his grandfather's fortune and has two eccentric aunts (Dorothy Neumann and Helen Spring). His lawyer sets him up with Lois (Jody Fair; starred in THE GHOST OF DRAGSTRIP HOLLOW the next year), the daughter of the lawyer's new partner (Doodles Weaver). John takes Lois to his gang's hangout where they meet John's girlfriend (Maureen Arthur) and he has a fight with a rival. Later Lois introduces John to Gene Vincent (himself) who invites him on his TV show. John wears a disguise and becomes a big sensation but is framed for burglary and arrested by a tough cop (Russ Bender). The real burglars try to break up the gang's sock hop and things get a little nutty. John beats down the real bad guy in the end. 

This AIP teen hot rod drama was coming near the end of its genre. The executive producer was silent screen star Buddy Rogers. Co-producer and screenwriter Lou Rusoff wrote many AIP productions. This was one of the last features directed by Lew Landers who years before (under the name Louis Friedlander) directed THE RAVEN (1935) with Karloff and Lugosi. After this he did mostly TV work and died in 1962. Music is by Ronald Stein and the cinematographer was Floyd Crosby.

 (imdb)

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