Bad English Thing

 

 (imdb)

SPELLCASTER-1989-A bunch of dorks win a contest to the remote Diablo Castle for a treasure hunt hosted by skinny English VJ Rex (Richard Blade) and moronic English singer Cassandra Castle (Bunty Bailey). The first victim is a French woman killed by the chair she's sitting in. The drunken singer Castle is terrorized by a bunch of rotting corpses. A fat guy turns into a pig. A suit of armor comes to life. The VJ is killed by a winged monster. A female hunter is eaten by a dog. One woman meets Diablo (Adam Ant)), a sarcastic jerk with a crystal ball. In the end, when the crystal ball is destroyed, everyone comes back to life. Filmed in Rome by director Rafal Zielinski. Really bad

Thanks for reading!

Camping Massacre

 

 (imdb)

4/20 MASSACRE-2018-Two dweebs are searching for marijuana on government land. They find it but one of them seems to be killed by a monster. After the credits, 5 women go camping for one member's birthday. They are warned by Ranger Rick to stay clear of illegal pot farmers. The group meets the dweeb who didn't get killed before the credits. He gives them his stolen weed and after they leave, the monster disembowels him. Later they meet a redneck hunting rabbits. Later the monster (obviously someone in a costume) puts a lit joint in his eye. 

Meanwhile, the women drink and get high. The first camper to die has her bong shoved through her head. Two more are hacked to death. Of course, the ranger is in league with the monster. Jess, the last survivor and birthday girl, meets the rabbit hunter, now blind and he's killed helping her stab the monster. After she kills the ranger, she smokes a joint while a Rap song plays. 

The director/writer Dylan Reynolds is probably out there right now plotting more shitty movies.

Thanks for reading!

More Cars

 

 (themoviedatabase)

HOT CARS-1956-Happily married used car salesman Nick (John Bromfield) is fired from his job for being too honest. To support his wife (Carol Shannon) and sickly baby son, he takes a job selling cars for the shady Mr. Markel (Ralph Clanton), working for manager Smiley Ward (Mark Dana; in PHAROAH'S CURSE the next year). Later he meets police detective Davenport (Dabbs Greer) who's investigating the stolen car racket. Ater the delivery of some “hot” cars, Nick realizes he's part of the stolen car ring. 

He quits Markel but when he gets home, he finds his wife in hysterics because their baby is in the hospital. He goes back to Markel and meets head hot car guy Otto (Kurt Katch) and learns “the business”. He almost has to sell a stolen car to Davenport but Smiley helps him out of it. Nick hooks up with Karen Winters (Joi Lansing), then gets involved in Davenport's murder. She could provide him with an alibi but pretends not to know him. Markel decides to do away with Nick and a fist fight on a rollercoaster between Nick and Smiley caps this story. 

his average crime drama was one of the few feature films directed by Don McDougall, a very versatile TV director. Star Broomfield was in CURUCU, BEAST OF THE AMAZON the same year. 

Thanks for reading!

The Endest, Man

 

 (imdb)

GHOST OF DRAGSTRIP HALLOW-1959-After the great ghost credits opening, a news reporter (Russ Bender) does a story on a teenage hot red club where a band shoots off guns while playing “Geronimo”. Lois Cavendish (Jody Fair; THE BRAIN EATERS (1958)) is a car crazy chick. The club's kind of leader is Stan (Martin Braddock) who informs everyone they are going to be evicted from their clubhouse. Lois has an eccentric aunt (Dorothy Neumann) who plays the flute and has a pet parrot. Rival hot rodder Tony (Jack Ging) makes trouble before they all go to the aunt's old haunted house. Weird things happen and the shadow of a familiar monster hangs around. It's a male version of the She-Creature! The gang have a costume party and a guy named Jimmie Maddin sings a song called “Tongue Tied”. A guy named Dave shows off his talking car. It turns out the monster is real life SFX creator Paul Blaisdell (in the last film he ever worked on) who's mad because he wasn't in THE HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM! 

But the rock and roll music drives out a real ghost. 

Sometimes known as the film that ushered out the '50's teenage horror/rock and roll boom, it was directed by William Hole (THE DEVIL'S PARTNER (1961) and written by AIP veteran Lou Rusoff. The uncredited singer Maddin was more well known as a nightclub owner than for the few singles he released in the late 1950's.

Thanks for reading, daddio!

More Rods

 (imdb)

HOT ROAD GANG-1958-Hep cat hot rodders drag right down Main Street. College student John Abernathy (John Ashley) rehearses with his combo in a place owned by landlord Al (Dub Taylor). After almost running down a guy, John sings “Hit and Run Lover”. He's also the heir to his grandfather's fortune and has two eccentric aunts (Dorothy Neumann and Helen Spring). His lawyer sets him up with Lois (Jody Fair; starred in THE GHOST OF DRAGSTRIP HOLLOW the next year), the daughter of the lawyer's new partner (Doodles Weaver). John takes Lois to his gang's hangout where they meet John's girlfriend (Maureen Arthur) and he has a fight with a rival. Later Lois introduces John to Gene Vincent (himself) who invites him on his TV show. John wears a disguise and becomes a big sensation but is framed for burglary and arrested by a tough cop (Russ Bender). The real burglars try to break up the gang's sock hop and things get a little nutty. John beats down the real bad guy in the end. 

This AIP teen hot rod drama was coming near the end of its genre. The executive producer was silent screen star Buddy Rogers. Co-producer and screenwriter Lou Rusoff wrote many AIP productions. This was one of the last features directed by Lew Landers who years before (under the name Louis Friedlander) directed THE RAVEN (1935) with Karloff and Lugosi. After this he did mostly TV work and died in 1962. Music is by Ronald Stein and the cinematographer was Floyd Crosby.

 (imdb)

Thanks for reading!

Hot Rods

 (imdb)

HOT ROD-1950-Two brothers convince their dad to sponsor a racetrack in their town to stop teenagers from illegally drag racing. Dave (James “Jimmy” Lydon) is the bicycle rider brother who wants to work for a newspaper and Joe (Myron Healy) is a cop. Their father is a judge (Art Baker, later a host of TV's “You Asked For It”). Dave has a whiny friend named Swifty (Gil Stratton). When Dave gets a car, showoff hot rodder Jack (Tommy Bond from “Our Gang” shorts) makes him eat dust and embarrass him in front of Jane (Gloria Winters), a girl he's sweet on. He and Swifty try to supe up his car but Jack steals the car and Dave is charged with a hit and run accident. Before anything really bad can happen, Jack admits he did it. Dave and Swifty almost get into more trouble chasing a crook but then help capture him. In the end, the town teens get their legal racetrack and Dave gets Jane. 

This low budget Monogram production was directed by Lewis D. Collins who made many westerns around this time. Former child actor Lydon had been in Edgar Ulmer's STRANGE ILLUSION in 1945. He later had parts in LIFE WITH FATHER (1947) and JOAN OF ARC (1948). 

Thanks for reading!

Bill Dee

 (imdb)

THE TAKE-1974-Terry Sneed (Billy Dee Williams) is a San Franciso police Lieutenant who goes to New Mexico to help a police commissioner (Eddie Albert) but takes money from Manso (Vic Morrow), a local gangster with a heart condition. Police captain Dolek (Albert Salmi) is also crooked. They investigate “small time punk” Danny James (Frankie Avalon). He breaks down and cries but helps them track shipments of “H”. After he pisses off Manso, Sneed is beaten up but he's nursed back to health by his girlfriend Nancy (Tracy Reed). Meanwhile, a real estate developer Oscar (Sorrell Brooke) hangs around. Later, Sneed teams with a young cop Tall Bear (A Martinez) to get back at Manso. Also with John Chandler (MAD DOG COLL (1961) and Kathleen Hughes (IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE (1953). Vic Perrin is heard on a radio. 

This is a standard crime drama based on a British novel filmed in the US by English director Robert Hartford-Davis (CORRUPTION (1968) who had made BLACK GUNN in 1972. 

Thanks for reading!