Boy, Oh, Boy

 

 (themoviedatabase)

THE BOY-2016-Greta (Lauren Cohan), an American nanny is hired by an elderly couple to take care of their son in a remote English manor. To her shock and surprise, their son, Brahms is a doll! After a while the “parents” go on vacation leaving Greta alone with the spooky kid doll. During a thunderstorm, she has a bad dream and hears noises and Brahm's cries (it's really a drip in the ceiling). From Malcolm (Rupert Evans), the guy who delivers the groceries, she learns that the real Brahms was killed in a fire. Before going on a date with Malcolm, Greta gets locked in the attic, then thinks she sees someone and faints (it's just a jacket on a hanger). 

Though it seems like Brahms may be alive, Greta gets some weird phone calls which make it seem as though it's a plot to make her lose her mind. Later after the old couple commit suicide, Greta begins to treat Brahms like a real kid. Somehow, her psychotic boyfriend Cole (Ben Robson) finds her and destroys the doll. Then a life size Brahms (James Russell) shows up. Apparently, he's been living there and spying on her. After Cole is killed and she thinks Malcolm is dead, she tries to be nice and stabs Brahms. She and Malcolm escape and someone is shown putting the doll back together. 

Director William Brent Bell (THE DEVIL INSIDE (2012) followed this with a sequel BRAHMS: THE BOY II in 2020.

Thanks for reading!

PS-Once again I prove how topsy-turvey this blog is as I reviewed the sequel first a few years ago! 

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/4609335177952045780/5403532682911172637

Mercy!

 (imdb)

ALMOST MERCY-2015-This may be a “black comedy” but it's really just a sick excuse for some jerk (probably with a mother fixation) to make a crap horror movie. It's about a teenager named Emily (Danielle Guldin) who becomes a sociopath killer. The acting and direction both suck. Kane Hodder is a gym teacher, Bill Moseley is a pastor and pro wrestler Tommy Dreamer is in it too. 

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Five?

 

 (imdb)

FIVE SUPERFIGHTERS-1979-A dude in black beats up the teacher and students of a martial arts school. He says their Kung-Fu is “lousy”. 3 students vow revenge on the guy but split up almost immediately having a quarrel over who should head north. Meanwhile, a young widow beats up the idiotic Mr. Ma and his two thugs when they harass her. “Hey, that woman's Kung-Fu is pretty good”. Ting Tien, the student who goes north meets and gets beaten up by her, then helps her grind bean curd. Chi, the second student gets in trouble for peeing on a scarecrow (a gambler was hiding in it). He starts gambling but when the gambler's wife breaks up the game, he has to fight everyone. He then gets beat up by a drunk guy who walks funny but becomes his student. The third dummy meets a fisherman, gets beat up then becomes his assistant. While all this is going on, their downtrodden master who thinks the trio has abandoned him, meets Mr. Fu. Tien is a real jerk. Even the widow's blind father gets the best of him. When the trio finally meet again they give the guy in black a good fight but their master's drunken sword technique saves the day.

 Only in a Run Run Shaw production could 4 guys beat up one guy and the fight still be fair. Not sure why the title mentions 5. Director Mar Lo provides good fights and action in this underrated feature.

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Snowblood

 

 (imdb)

LADY SNOWBLOOD-1973-Yuki Kashimi (Mieko Kaji), a kimono wearing young woman with a parasol and a sword seeks revenge on the scum who killed her father and brother and raped her mother. She's trained by a hard nosed priest. A reporter, Asiho (Toshio Kurosawa), writes a story about her, hoping to flush out one of the killers. It also turns out another killer faked his death. 

Although, seemingly mortally wounded from her final battle, she's stabbed by the daughter of one of the killers. She seems to die but later opens her eyes. 

Excellent violent revenge tale well executed by director Toshiya Fujita. Mieko Kaji returned in LADY SNOWBLOOD 2: LOVE SONG OF VENGEANCE in 1974 (also directed by Fujita).

Domo Arigato for reading!

RIP/Mesa Mess

RIP:

https://www.tokyoweekender.com/japan-life/news-and-opinion/kenji-ohba-dies-at-72/

 (imdb)

MESA OF LOST WOMEN-1953-While a narrator (Lyle Talbot) talks about “foolish bipeds”, in Mexico oil surveyor Frank (John Martin) and his assistant Mulcahey (Richard Travis) find two people wandering aimlessly in “the desert of death”. He takes them to an American “Doc” Tucker (Allan Nixon) at the oil plant. The guy, who's a pilot named Grant Phillips (Robert Knapp), rants about “super bugs” and Dr. Aranya, which upsets Mexican guide Pepe (Chris Pin-Martin in his last role). Phillips then relates his story but is interrupted by the narrator who tells the story of Dr. Masterson (Harmon Stevens), who goes all by himself in suit and tie to visit Dr. Aranya's desert lair. Aranya (a very skinny Jackie Coogan with goggle glasses and a wart) uses some kind of tarantula hormone to make “super female spiders with a thinking and reasoning brain that one day might rule the world!”. Masterson doesn't go for the doctor's experiments and winds up in a Mexican asylum but he escapes and goes to a local dive, looking very deranged and acting strange after meeting businessman Jan (Nico Lek) and his fiancé, Doreen (Paula/Mary Hill). 

Somehow one of the spider women, Tarantella (Tandra Quinn; in THE NEANDERTHAL MAN the same year) is a dancer there. Phillips also shows up followed by Masterson's male nurse George (usual ape impersonator George Barrows). While Tarantella is performing, Masterson shoots her. She seems to die. Masterson then forces Phillips to fly everyone, including Jan's manservant Wong (Samuel Wu), to Aranya's hideout. They don't make it, crashing in a nearby forest (?) where the insect women and 2 dwarves (John George and Angelo Rossitto) hang around watching the group. After George is killed, it's revealed Woo is working for Aranya but when he makes his report, the mad scientist has him killed. After Jan is killed by a giant spider, the remaining passengers are taken to Aranya who revivies Masterson to his normal self. Before the future Uncle Fester can do anymore harm, Masterson concocts an explosive to destroy all the heinous goings on. Only Phillips and Doreen (who earlier declare their love) escape. But some of the women are still around... 

MESA OF LOST WOMAN began production in 1951 by one Herbert Trevos. Either the movie was never finished, or the finished product was so bad it never saw the light of day. Either way, a year or so later, Ron Ormond (who was making low budget westerns with Lash LaRue at the time) either bought the film or was hired to “do something with it”. Apparently, the characters of Aranya and his spider babes was added footage. 

Original director Trevos was quite a mystery man at one time. So much so, that some came to believe MESA may have actually been directed by Ed Wood Jr. since there are several “Wood connections”, ie: narrator Talbot, Dolores Fuller and Mona McKinnon are 2 of the spider women) but in recent times, thanks to a letter from his own son, it seems Trevos was a real person who had worked for ADGA in Germany and the US. This was his only effort. The weird musical interludes were written by Hoyt Curtin who later wrote many famous cartoon themes like “The Flintstones”, “The Jetsons”, “Huckleberry Hound” and “Johnny Quest”. His music for MESA wound up a year later in Ed Wood's JAILBAIT! Screenwriter Orville Hampton (THE FOUR SKULLS OF JONATHAN DRAKE (1959)) is said to have been a co-writer (with Trevos) but is only credited as “dialogue supervisor”. 

Everyone should see this fiasco at least once because seeing is believing!

Thanks for reading~

Holy Bananas! It's A Girl's Leg!

 

 (imdb)

 COLOR ME BLOOD RED-1965-Frustrated painter Adam Sorg (Don Joseph aka Gordon Oas-Helm) insults a pompous art critic and has contempt for his fans. He's a kind of a jerk who doesn't think much of the gallery owner who exhibits Sorg's hideous paintings. When his girlfriend cuts herself and bleeds on his canvas, he finds just the right shade of red he was looking for. She won't let him use anymore blood, so he cuts himself and paints with his own blood. This weakens him considerably so to finish his painting he kills his girlfriend and uses her hemoglobin. Later the art critic praises the new painting but Sorg refuses to sell it. “I would not like to be that man's psychoanalyst” quips the critic. Back home, he kills a man and woman and uses her blood to create a new masterpiece. 4 dope smoking young people go for a swim near Sorg's house. He asks one of the women to model for him and she goes at night to see him. He ties her up and plans to kill her but her friends arrive and Sorg is shot in the face. 

Sometimes referred to as the last of director Hershell Gordon Lewis' “Blood Trilogy”, this black comedy is pretty funny and the character of artist Sorg is a good psycho. It features lots of blood and bad acting. MONSTER A GO GO was released the same year and of course compared to that COLOR ME BLOOD RED seems like a big-budgeted Hollywood production. 

Lewis' next horror film would be TASTE OF BLOOD in 1967. Star Oas-Helm many years later played Manford, the butler on “The New Monkees” reboot TV flop!

 (imdb)

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It Happened Twice?

 

DEADTIME STORIES-VOL. 1-2009-Cheap anthology hosted by George Romero (!).

“The Valley of the Shadows”: A woman leads an expedition into the jungle to find her missing husband. The party is terrorized and killed off by a mysterious head-hunting savage. Guess who? Written and directed by Jeff Monahan, an actor who was in later Romero features.

“Wet”: An alcoholic finds a hand on the beach. A jerky antique dealer (Nick Mancuso) tells him it's the hand of a vicious mermaid he chopped up. The alky brings her back to life and she kills him and the antique dealer or something like that.. Directed by Michael Fischa (MY MOM'S A WEREWOLF (1989))

“House Call”: A mother tells her doctor about her son who's obviously some kind of vampire. Directed by Tom Savini.

VOL. 2

“The Gorge”: 3 spelunkers get trapped in a cave and resort to cannibalism. Directed by Matt Walsh, who was usually a sound engineer.

“On Sabbath Hill”: An arrogant college teacher impregnates a student who's driven to suicide. Her ghost comes back to haunt him or is it in his mind? Probably the best of the lot. Directed by Jeff Monahan.

“Dust”: A security guard gives an untested drug (made of dust from Mars) to his dying wife. It cures her...for a while. This one makes no sense. Directed by Michael Fischa.

Thanks for readiing!