RIP Herschell Gordon Lewis

 

 (imdb)

THE UH-OH SHOW-2009-Herschell Gordon Lewis (who appears telling gory stories to some kids) kind of updated his original “gore” movies (like THE WIZARD OF GORE) with his black comedy that's not very good. 

A late-night cable station called “The Uh-Oh Show” offers huge prizes to contestants who can answer questions correctly. However, if they answer incorrectly, a wheel is spun and a part of their body is hacked off. It features loud obnoxious characters, not so great acting and of course disgusting but not very convincing sfx. 

It's supposed to be a comedy I guess but the laughs are few and far between. This was writer/director Lewis' last feature film (he passed away in 2016 at age 90). Troma's Lloyd Kaufman has a small role as a pimp.

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Gargoyle Good Time

 

 (imdb)

GARGOYLES-1972-Anthropologist Mercer Bolley (Cornell Wilde) and his daughter Diana (Jennifer Salt) run afoul of an ancient race of gargoyles. An old geezer (Woody Chamblis) tells them a story and shows them a weird skeleton just before his shack is set ablaze and he burns to death. Bolley rescues a skull and he and Diana hightail it to a sleazy hotel run by Mrs. Parks (Grayson Hall). Later 2 gargoyles break in and steal the skull. While fleeing, one is killed. Still the sheriff (Warren Stevens) blames everything on a motorcycle gang and it's leader (Scott Glenn). The gargoyle leader (Bernie Casey with the dubbed voice of Vic Perrin) kidnaps Diana. The bikers team up with local authorities to hunt the monsters who want to wipe out mankind and take over. They have a cave full of eggs and the leader takes a shine to Diana. Though mankind is eventually saved, the leader gets away. 

Stan Winston did some work on the gargoyles in this underrated horror tale that seems to have gained a cult following in recent years. It's certainly one of the best TV horror movies ever! Director Bill Norton (sometimes known as BWL Norton) made it between CISCO PIKE and MORE AMERICAN GRAFFITI. His next film was 1985's BABY: SECRET OF THE LOST LEGEND. He then worked mostly in television.

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 (public domain pictures)

   

Boy, Oh, Boy

 

 (themoviedatabase)

THE BOY-2016-Greta (Lauren Cohan), an American nanny is hired by an elderly couple to take care of their son in a remote English manor. To her shock and surprise, their son, Brahms is a doll! After a while the “parents” go on vacation leaving Greta alone with the spooky kid doll. During a thunderstorm, she has a bad dream and hears noises and Brahm's cries (it's really a drip in the ceiling). From Malcolm (Rupert Evans), the guy who delivers the groceries, she learns that the real Brahms was killed in a fire. Before going on a date with Malcolm, Greta gets locked in the attic, then thinks she sees someone and faints (it's just a jacket on a hanger). 

Though it seems like Brahms may be alive, Greta gets some weird phone calls which make it seem as though it's a plot to make her lose her mind. Later after the old couple commit suicide, Greta begins to treat Brahms like a real kid. Somehow, her psychotic boyfriend Cole (Ben Robson) finds her and destroys the doll. Then a life size Brahms (James Russell) shows up. Apparently, he's been living there and spying on her. After Cole is killed and she thinks Malcolm is dead, she tries to be nice and stabs Brahms. She and Malcolm escape and someone is shown putting the doll back together. 

Director William Brent Bell (THE DEVIL INSIDE (2012) followed this with a sequel BRAHMS: THE BOY II in 2020.

Thanks for reading!

PS-Once again I prove how topsy-turvey this blog is as I reviewed the sequel first a few years ago! 

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/4609335177952045780/5403532682911172637

Mercy!

 (imdb)

ALMOST MERCY-2015-This may be a “black comedy” but it's really just a sick excuse for some jerk (probably with a mother fixation) to make a crap horror movie. It's about a teenager named Emily (Danielle Guldin) who becomes a sociopath killer. The acting and direction both suck. Kane Hodder is a gym teacher, Bill Moseley is a pastor and pro wrestler Tommy Dreamer is in it too. 

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Five?

 

 (imdb)

FIVE SUPERFIGHTERS-1979-A dude in black beats up the teacher and students of a martial arts school. He says their Kung-Fu is “lousy”. 3 students vow revenge on the guy but split up almost immediately having a quarrel over who should head north. Meanwhile, a young widow beats up the idiotic Mr. Ma and his two thugs when they harass her. “Hey, that woman's Kung-Fu is pretty good”. Ting Tien, the student who goes north meets and gets beaten up by her, then helps her grind bean curd. Chi, the second student gets in trouble for peeing on a scarecrow (a gambler was hiding in it). He starts gambling but when the gambler's wife breaks up the game, he has to fight everyone. He then gets beat up by a drunk guy who walks funny but becomes his student. The third dummy meets a fisherman, gets beat up then becomes his assistant. While all this is going on, their downtrodden master who thinks the trio has abandoned him, meets Mr. Fu. Tien is a real jerk. Even the widow's blind father gets the best of him. When the trio finally meet again they give the guy in black a good fight but their master's drunken sword technique saves the day.

 Only in a Run Run Shaw production could 4 guys beat up one guy and the fight still be fair. Not sure why the title mentions 5. Director Mar Lo provides good fights and action in this underrated feature.

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Snowblood

 

 (imdb)

LADY SNOWBLOOD-1973-Yuki Kashimi (Mieko Kaji), a kimono wearing young woman with a parasol and a sword seeks revenge on the scum who killed her father and brother and raped her mother. She's trained by a hard nosed priest. A reporter, Asiho (Toshio Kurosawa), writes a story about her, hoping to flush out one of the killers. It also turns out another killer faked his death. 

Although, seemingly mortally wounded from her final battle, she's stabbed by the daughter of one of the killers. She seems to die but later opens her eyes. 

Excellent violent revenge tale well executed by director Toshiya Fujita. Mieko Kaji returned in LADY SNOWBLOOD 2: LOVE SONG OF VENGEANCE in 1974 (also directed by Fujita).

Domo Arigato for reading!

RIP/Mesa Mess

RIP:

https://www.tokyoweekender.com/japan-life/news-and-opinion/kenji-ohba-dies-at-72/

 (imdb)

MESA OF LOST WOMEN-1953-While a narrator (Lyle Talbot) talks about “foolish bipeds”, in Mexico oil surveyor Frank (John Martin) and his assistant Mulcahey (Richard Travis) find two people wandering aimlessly in “the desert of death”. He takes them to an American “Doc” Tucker (Allan Nixon) at the oil plant. The guy, who's a pilot named Grant Phillips (Robert Knapp), rants about “super bugs” and Dr. Aranya, which upsets Mexican guide Pepe (Chris Pin-Martin in his last role). Phillips then relates his story but is interrupted by the narrator who tells the story of Dr. Masterson (Harmon Stevens), who goes all by himself in suit and tie to visit Dr. Aranya's desert lair. Aranya (a very skinny Jackie Coogan with goggle glasses and a wart) uses some kind of tarantula hormone to make “super female spiders with a thinking and reasoning brain that one day might rule the world!”. Masterson doesn't go for the doctor's experiments and winds up in a Mexican asylum but he escapes and goes to a local dive, looking very deranged and acting strange after meeting businessman Jan (Nico Lek) and his fiancé, Doreen (Paula/Mary Hill). 

Somehow one of the spider women, Tarantella (Tandra Quinn; in THE NEANDERTHAL MAN the same year) is a dancer there. Phillips also shows up followed by Masterson's male nurse George (usual ape impersonator George Barrows). While Tarantella is performing, Masterson shoots her. She seems to die. Masterson then forces Phillips to fly everyone, including Jan's manservant Wong (Samuel Wu), to Aranya's hideout. They don't make it, crashing in a nearby forest (?) where the insect women and 2 dwarves (John George and Angelo Rossitto) hang around watching the group. After George is killed, it's revealed Woo is working for Aranya but when he makes his report, the mad scientist has him killed. After Jan is killed by a giant spider, the remaining passengers are taken to Aranya who revivies Masterson to his normal self. Before the future Uncle Fester can do anymore harm, Masterson concocts an explosive to destroy all the heinous goings on. Only Phillips and Doreen (who earlier declare their love) escape. But some of the women are still around... 

MESA OF LOST WOMAN began production in 1951 by one Herbert Trevos. Either the movie was never finished, or the finished product was so bad it never saw the light of day. Either way, a year or so later, Ron Ormond (who was making low budget westerns with Lash LaRue at the time) either bought the film or was hired to “do something with it”. Apparently, the characters of Aranya and his spider babes was added footage. 

Original director Trevos was quite a mystery man at one time. So much so, that some came to believe MESA may have actually been directed by Ed Wood Jr. since there are several “Wood connections”, ie: narrator Talbot, Dolores Fuller and Mona McKinnon are 2 of the spider women) but in recent times, thanks to a letter from his own son, it seems Trevos was a real person who had worked for ADGA in Germany and the US. This was his only effort. The weird musical interludes were written by Hoyt Curtin who later wrote many famous cartoon themes like “The Flintstones”, “The Jetsons”, “Huckleberry Hound” and “Johnny Quest”. His music for MESA wound up a year later in Ed Wood's JAILBAIT! Screenwriter Orville Hampton (THE FOUR SKULLS OF JONATHAN DRAKE (1959)) is said to have been a co-writer (with Trevos) but is only credited as “dialogue supervisor”. 

Everyone should see this fiasco at least once because seeing is believing!

Thanks for reading~