Lorre on the Tube

 

 (mubi)

SCREEN DIRECTORS PLAYHOUSE-"No.5 Checked Out"-1956-Mary, a deaf woman (Teresa Wright; PRIDE OF THE YANKEES, SHADOW OF A DOUBT) left alone by her father (Ralph Moody) in an off-season lodge is unaware that two men she's allowed to stay in a cabin are bank robbers. One guy, Barney (William Talman) was just the driver but his partner Willie (Peter Lorre) killed a man. Barney kind of falls for Mary but Willie has other plans. It ends tragically and a little abruptly. 

But still a nice little suspense drama co-written and director by Ida Lupino. Make up by Jack Pierce. Eastman Kodak presented the TV version Screen Directors Playhouse which ran on NBC for 32 episodes from October 1955 to June 1956 (although the last few episodes ran on ABC). It was produced by the Hal Roach Studios. 

In 1953, co-star Talman played the psycho killer in THE HITCHHIKER, also directed by Lupino. In 1957, he began a long run on TV's "Perry Mason" as prosecuting attorney Hamilton Burger.

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Shark

 

 (themoviedb.org)

FROM THE DEPTHS-2020-A lesbian (Angelica Briones) is plagued by guilt, hallucinations, insomnia and mood swings stemming from a shark attack she survived but in which her sister (Marissa Godinez) and boyfriend (Taylor Jorgensen) were killed. (Yes, even though she is in a relationship with a woman named Roberta (Terra Strong), she once had a boyfriend) Both her dead sister and dead boyfriend visit her and warn her against Roberta but it's obviously someone is up to no good and trying to drive her crazy. Her shrink seems weird but there's a twist ending that explains everything. Written and directed by Jorge Montesinos.

Bad Imitation

 

 (themoviedb.com)

THOR: END OF DAYS-2020-In this Marvel comics knock off, Norse god/superhero Thor (Max Aria) battles his arch nemesis Loki (Mike Milian) for the fate of the world or something like that. The acting, script and sfx are terrible. By Odin, this sucks! 

Writer/director Mike Shapiro had previously made GOD OF THUNDER (2015) which also featured Aria in the lead role, so I guess this is a sequel.

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Slammer Girls

 

 (imdb)

GIRLS IN PRISON-1956-Prison pastor Rev. Fulton (Richard Denning) tries to help Ann Carson (Joan Taylor; EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS the same year)), in the slammer for a crime she didn't commit. She's in a cell with no nonsense Jenny (Adele Jurgens, in one of her last movie roles), nutty Dorothy (Phyllis Coates) and lesbian Melanee (Helen Gilbert). The matron (Jane Darwell; Ma Joad in THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)) seems pretty ineffectual but Fulton still wants to help. Old time actress Mae Marsh plays Grandma Edwards. Meanwhile, a bank robber (Lance Fuller) threatens Ann's con man father (Raymond Hatton) trying to find some still missing money everyone thinks Ann has. 

Typical 50's moral drama directed by Edward L. Cahn who also made THE SHE CREATURE (also with the acting challenged Fuller) and SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROCK! the same year, both penned by GIRLS screenwriter Lou Rusoff who also wrote IT CONQUERED THE WORLD for Roger Corman in '56. Denning, Jurgens and Hatton had all been in Corman's THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED the year before. Alex Gordon was one of the producers along with Samuel Z. Arkoff and James Nicholsen. Music by Roland Stein.

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werewolfery

 

 (imdb)

PROJECT: METALBEAST-1995-In 1974, psychotic (bad actor) CIA agent Butler (John Marzilli) injects himself with blood from a werewolf in Hungry. After he's killed, head guy Miller (Barry Bostwick) covers it up. In 1994, a cancer research scientist (Kim Delaney) is ordered to work on a frozen wolf body (Kane Hodder) which after much talk and inaction, comes back to life and kills. Awful violent nonsense from director Alessandro De Gaetano (UFO: TARGET EARTH (1974)).

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Mrs. Dracula

 

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DRACULA'S WIDOW-1988-Raymond, a weird museum owner (Lenny Von Donlen) receives some crates of artifacts from Romania. He seems to have one extra crate. While he drinks brandy and watches "Nosferatu", some idiots break into his basement. It turns out the 6th crate contains a female vampire (pale looking Sylvia Kristel) who kills one of the robbers then bites Raymond. Later he wants to put a stake in her but can't. When his girlfriend Jenny (Rachel Jones) visits he's transfixed by her neck. A stupid cop Lannon (Josef Sommers) investigates. The vampire claims to be Dracula's wife Vanessa and almost loses it when Raymond tells her Van Helsing has killed Dracula. At some kind of devil worshiping gang bang where a woman is tortured, Vanessa turns into a monster and kills all the members.

 Later Van Helsing's grandson (Stefan Schnabel) shows up and puts stakes in some corpses. Then Vanessa kills Lannon's partner and turns Van Helsing into a vampire, Raymond is arrested for the murders. Lannon and Jenny team up to try and stop the widow's killing spree and save Raymond. 

This is a pretty shoddy affair with strange out of place close-ups with a bright red background and bad sfx. It's over the top but I'm not sure if this was intentional or not. Writer/director Marc Copolla (brother of Nicolas Cage and nephew of you know who) plays a victim and George Stover has a cameo as a coroner.

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Are You With Me, Dr. Wu?

 

 (imdb)

MR. WU-1927-Mandarin Wu (Lon Chaney) hires American Mr. Muir (Claude King) to teach his son "the ways of the west". When young Wu grows to manhood, he (also Chaney) marries but his wife dies after giving birth to their daughter Nang Ping (Rene Adoree'). Years later young Wu is a powerful mandarin and Nang Ping, a precocious young woman who will soon wed a man she's never met. Everything seems OK until she accidentally meets Basil Gregory (Ralph Forbes), the son of a racist diplomat (Holmes Herbert). They fall in love and have secret meetings in the lotus garden. Only her friend Loo Song (Anna May Wong) knows. When she meets his parents, Nang realizes their romance is doomed. The gardener tells Wu he saw them together so in anger Wu kills him! Then he watches Nang as she and Basil declare their love. Later saying Nang has disgraced the family Wu kills her to save her soul. Then he tortures Basil and torments Mrs. Gregory (Louise Dresser) by making her choose who should live or die: her son or daughter (Gertrude Olmstead). 

Strange little drama with Chaney once again carrying the picture as the honorable Wu. Ironically, director William Nigh years later directed the “Mr. Wong” series of films with Boris Karloff. Lead actress Renee Adoree' (from France) was a big star at the time but later contracted tuberculosis and died in 1933.

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Aztec Hero

 

 (imdb)

THE PUMAMAN-1980-Jane Dotson (Sydne Rome) discovers that an ancient mask of The Pumaman has alien technology in it. However, two stuck up guys don't want anyone to know so one of them Kobras (Donald Pleasence) hypnotizes her. He then sets his sights on killing The Pumaman, an alien protector with "god like" powers connected to an Aztec legend.

 In England, where several Americans have been killed, an American archaeologist Prof. Tony Farms (Walter George Alton) is a smug wise ass who likes to jog. He's pursued by a big guy Vadinho (Miguel Angel Fuentes; also in FITZCARRALDO (1982)) who throws him out a window. Farms survives and is told he's the Pumaman but doesn't believe it. Later he's invited by Jane to visit her father at the Swedish embassy but it's really a ruse by Kobras to find out if Farms is the P-man. When Farms puts on a gold belt, he becomes The Pumaman, in a superhero costume and cape. He must save the world from Kobras and his conquest scheme and rescue Jane from his clutches. 

This Italian feature directed by Alberto Di Martino (THE BLANCHEVILLE MONSTER 1963)) has very bad sfx.

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Devil Kids

 

 

 (imdb)

THE HORRIBLE HOUSE ON THE HILL-(aka PEOPLETOYS)-1974-A van crashes, but 5 kids who were passengers survive. Meanwhile, a crude dictatorial jerk nicknamed Papa Doc (Gene Evans) bosses everyone around: his wormy assistant Harvey (Sorrell Brooke) and his alcoholic wife, his own bitchy wife Lovely (Carolyn Steller), his daughter Julie (Joan McCall) and her fiancé Rick (Taylor Lacher) and dimwitted servant Ralph (John Durren). The kids trudge through snow not knowing that one of the adult passengers didn't die and is following them. When he catches up with them, the kids kill him in a long very slow-motion scene. It's obvious these aren't your average kids. In fact, they are homicidal and have escaped from a mental institution! One girl (Gail Smale) thinks she's a nun and another likes fire. A young black kid (Tierre Turner) talks like he's an army officer. Another boy David (Leif Garrett) just seems weird, and a very young girl Moe (Dawn Lyn) seems normal. Poor Ralph gets hanged trying to fix the generator. Then Harvey gets an axe in the back courtesy of David. Later the nun and Moe put piranhas in Lovely's bubble bath. Harvey's wife is set on fire. After killing Doc and making a snowman out of him, they kill Rick & Julie, and go off to find "new toys". 

This very strange but pretty well-made horror film (with good acting) was directed by Sean MacGregor (CRY BLOOD, APACHE (1974)). Leif Garrett had a brief career in the late '70's as a teen pop idol. His sister Dawn Lyn had played Dodie on the later seasons of TV's MY THREE SONS. This played on cable TV as THE DEVIL TIMES 5.

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Nigel

 

NIGEL THE PSYCHOPATH AT LARGE-1994-How come when people make lists of the worst movies ever made, a garbage film like this isn't there. Well I guess most people haven't seen it. Terrible editing and direction, zombified acting, loud noises, atrocious gore sfx with splattered blood that looks like it was squeezed out of a tube and worst of all the gas mask wearing killer preys on kids and uses a weed whip to kill. One kid has his arm severed and his stump spurts blood. He kills adults too. Meanwhile some yokels are hunting for him. When one of them accidentally kills a kid, his partner just says, "don't worry about it". Actors laugh and smile. A fight scene involving a broom seems intentionally stupid but I'm not so sure. 

The end features a policeman who looks like a high school student, a guy in drag and a drunk who thinks the drag is his ex-girlfriend! What happens when kids who've seen FRIDAY THE13th too much get a hold of a camera! Director Jim Larsen also made a movie called BUTTCRACK (1998).

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The Stoned Movie

 

 (imdb)

CURSE OF THE STONE HAND-1965-Jerry Warren took two Chilean horror films (one from 1945, the other from 1946!)) and combined them into this kooky anthology using an abandoned house for its connection.

The first story is based on the short story "The Suicide Club" by Robert Louis Stevenson. A heavily in debt man joins a gambling club with some very deadly rules. He finds himself in bigger trouble with his own life at stake.

 In the second story, a guy named Charles dominates the home life of his sister. When brother Jamie returns from school, he finds Charles has married his fiancée, Ruth. A handyman (spliced in John Carradine) talks to his partner about a secret room in the basement. Meanwhile Jamie kisses Ruth and she admits she doesn't know why she married his brother. This isn't really a supernatural tale and the "Dorian Gray" like ending seems tacked on. 

Warren regular Katherine Victor also appears in some Warren added scenes.She was in Warren's THE WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN the next year.  Bruno Ve Sota is the uncredited narrator.

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Atomic Bug Zapper

 

LET SLEEPING CORPSES LIE-1974-After a woman runs nude in the streets of London, Edna (Christine Galbo) and George (Ray Lovelock, who was FIDDLER ON THE ROOF in 1971) meet when she backs into his motorcycle and it needs repairs. They get lost trying to find her destination in the English countryside. George leaves Edna alone in the car to ask directions and runs into a group from the Ministry of Agriculture trying to kill insects with ultrasonic waves. Edna is attacked by a zombie-like man but she escapes. A local says it sounds like a loony who's dead. 

Meanwhile Edna's weird photographer brother-in-law Martin (Jose Lifante) takes pictures of a waterfall while his drug addicted wife, Edna's sister Katie (Jeannine Mestre), is terrorized by the zombie guy who kills Martin. A grouchy, hippie hating police inspector (Arthur Kennedy) investigates and accuses Katie of the murder). He doesn't believe Edna when she says the same man who attacked her sister attacked her too. She and George go to a cemetery to check out the dead guy's grave and are attacked by some newly resurrected zombies. They and a police man get trapped in a mausoleum. The cop tries to get to a radio he dropped outside and is killed and eaten. Later when another cop is killed, the stupid inspector arrests George for murder. It would seem a new nuclear powered bug zapper is causing the dead to rise. In the end, Kennedy kills George thinking he's responsible for all the deaths but George gets even…..

Slowly paced horror has some gory deaths but Kennedy's character is ridiculous. Partially filmed in UK, this Italian production was directed by Jorge Grau. Also known as THE LIVING DEAD AT THE MANCHESTER MORGUE.

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Door To Hell

 

 (imdb)

NIGHTWORLD: DOOR TO HELL-2017-Brett Anderson (Jason London; DAZED AND CONFUSED (1993)), an American living in Bulgaria and grieving over the death of his wife, takes a job in a mysterious apartment building where he seems to be monitoring an empty room. He reports to two odd balls Martin & Goron, and Jacob (Robert Englund), a blind man. They seem to be afraid of something in the room. Apparently, the apartment is located on top of one of the 7 gates of Nightworld, the land of the dead. Their gate is guarded by a 150-year-old architect who's ready to die and then the gate will be opened. Jack has several bad dreams and hallucinations including a bloody one while having sex with local gal Zara (Lorina Kamburova; also in LEATHERFACE the same year). The climax is ok but it rips off Fulci. It also has some similarities to THE SENTINEL (1977). It was directed by Chilean born directed Patricio Valladares. Female lead Lorina Kamburova died of complications of CoVid-19 in 2021 at age 29.

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Alien Cover Up

 

 (imdb)

WAVELENGTH-1983-Iris (Cherie Currie) and musician Bobby (Robert Carradine) hook up at a bar. Iris seems to get a vibe from a secret government lab where some aliens are being held. Dan (Keenan Wynn) shows them a secret entrance. The duo arrive just as an autopsy is being performed on an alien and Iris freaks out. Yes, a secret government installation is housing 4 aliens who were shot down and believed to be dead but they are only in some kind of self-induced hibernation. The scientists all excited when they learn of Iris's connection and begin a battery of tests which culminates in the discovery that the aliens (now down to 3 since one was dissected) carry a deadly disease. "If you could go anywhere in the universe, would you come to this loony bin to set up a plantation?", someone asks. The inept jerks plan to bury the aliens alive (along with Iris & Bobby) but Bobby frees them from their cryogenic tanks. They highball it out to the desert with help from Dan and two native American friends. The Navy and The Marines plan on destroying them but the aliens (little bald guys played by kids) get help from their home world. 

This is a modestly made but entertaining little Sci-Fi film from New World Pictures. Director/writer Mike Gray had previously written THE CHINA SYNDROME (1979).

 (imdb)

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