Time Travelling On A Budget

 

 (themoviedb.org)

TIME CHASERS-1994-Nick (Matthew Bruch) invents a plane that can travel through time. Unfortunately, he signs a contract with a huge corporation GenCore who only want to exploit it for evil. A female reporter Lisa (Bonnie Pritchard) warns him but to no avail. They become lovers and have dinner in a diner in the 1950's. Later they discover a post apocalyptic future that was created when he told corporate head J.K. Robertson (George Woodward) about the plane. Nick and Lisa go back in time to try and change things. Everyone winds up during the Revolutionary War (obviously a battle reenactment). 

Low budget time travel film written and directed in Vermont by David Giancola, who later made ICEBREAKER (2000) with Bruce Campbell as a bald villain. The movie lost money but when “Mystery Science Theater 3000” picked it up, the licensing fees brought profits into the black.

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It's Mutiny!

 

 (imdb)

SPACE MUTINY-1988-On a spaceship going somewhere, the evil, insane Commander Calgon (John Phillip Law) plans to take over. He's assisted by the sadistic McPearson (James Ryan; KILL AND KILL AGAIN (1981)). Some alien women called Bellerians who speak telepathically are also aboard. Commander Jansen (Cameron Mitchell, with Santa beard) is in charge and his daughter, Lea (Cissy Cameron) blames pilot Dave Ryder (Reb Brown; HOWLING 2 (1985)) for the death of a professor. Of course, they fall in love. 

This very cheap looking filmed in a warehouse space opera was started by director David Winters who left for personal reasons. It taken over by Neal Sundstrum with scenes of the Bellerians added by David A. Prior after filming was finished. None of them were happy with the final product. Filmed in South Africa. Brown and Cameron are married in real life.

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Creepy Hand

 

 (imdb)

THE CRAWLING HAND-1963-Mel Lockhart (Ashley Cowan), an astronaut coming back from the moon, seems to crack up and turns ghoul like. Steve Curan (Peter Breck) is in charge of the project and Allison Hayes (in her last movie role) is his kind of secretary. 

After the ship is deliberately blown up, Doc Weitzberg (Kent Taylor) thinks there's some kind of new organism being created. While rollicking on the beach with his gf, Marta (former Miss Iceland, Sirry Steffen), a guy named Paul (Rod Lauren) finds the severed arm of the astronaut. He wraps it up and takes it to his rooming house where it kills his landlady Mrs. Hotchkiss (Arline Judge in her last role). The sheriff (Alan Hale) and deputy (Ross Elliot) investigate. Paul is attacked by the hand but he doesn't killed. The hand seems to possess him. He acts strange and almost kills a restaurant owner (Syd Saylor in his last role). The hand slithers around. Occasionally, “The Bird's The Word” by The Rivingtons is heard. Also with Tristram Coffin and Richard Arlen. 

This cheapy sf horror was produced by Joe Robertson who served the same capacity on THE SLIME PEOPLE (1963) and AGENT FROM HARM (1964). He later got into porno films and wrote and directed 2 movies featuring Ed Wood,Jr., LOVE FEAST (1969) and MRS. STONE'S THING (1970). 

Noted “film doctor” Herbert L. Strock (HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER (1958)) directed. One of the screenwriters Joe Cranston, who later wrote THE CORPSE GRINDERS for Ted V. Mikels, was the father of actor Bryan Cranston. Co-star Rod Lauren had a brief musical career, made a few movie and TV appearances and later married a Philippine singing star. He in 2001 he was suspected of her stabbing murder. He fled to the US and committed suicide in 2007.

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Hope This Won't Be Me On Sunday!

 

 (imdb)

FROZEN ALIVE-1964-2 scientists Dr. Frank Overton (American actor Mark Stevens; once a contract actor at Warner Bros.) and Dr. Helen Wieland (German actress Marianne Koch; also in FISTFUL OF DOLLARS the same year) are doing research on suspended animation. After they win a special scientist award, the director Sir Keith (Walter Rilla; Dr. Mabuse' in several movies around this time) wants to break them up. When Frank wants his floozy, cheating wife, Joan (Delphi Lawrence) to retire and raise a family she refuses. Later, she gets drunk and insults Helen. Frank decides he'll use himself as a human experiment. While Frank and Helen are making preparations, elsewhere, Joan accidentally kills herself with a gun she stole from her lover. A police detective (Wolfgang Lukschy) thinks her death and hubby's experiments are related. Sir Keith agrees, thinking it's Frank's attempt at an elaborate suicide. Believing Frank will be arrested for murder when he wakes up, Helen decides to let him die. But then word arrives that Frank is innocent! She manages to correct her mistake and saves him. Everyone lives happily ever after. 

This low budget, un-thrilling West German/UK production was directed by Bernard Knowles who worked on several different UK television shows (“Col. March of Scotland Yard”, “Ivanhoe”). He made a few other feature films like SPACEFLIGHT IC-1(1965). He was also a cinematographer shooting many of Alfred Hitchcock's English films.

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Would You Like Another Potato?

 

 (imdb)

DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL-1988-Deathstalker (John Allen Nelson; in KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE the same year) is back and more annoying than ever. In this very cheap looking second sequel, Deathstalker meets princess Carissa (Carla Herd) who's looking for a lost city. She's killed but before she dies, she gives him a stone that if it's united with a second one will open up the secret city. Unfortunately, a weird bald headed bad guy (Thom Christopher; WIZ-ARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM (1985)) has the other one and rants to his companion Camisarde (Terri Treas; TV's “Alien Nation”). His clothes look like they were designed by Liberace. The dead princess also has a twin sister Elizena (same actress) who's a spoiled dummy. He also meets 2 bow & arrow using sisters who like potatoes. 

Roger Corman was the executive producer of this low grade, badly acted sword and sorcery fantasy filmed in Mexico and directed by Alfonso Corona. The screenplay is by Howard Cohen who wrote the original movie and later wrote and directed DEATHSTALKER 4 in 1991.

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Rocky Jones

 

 (imdb)

MANHUNT IN SPACE-1954-Rocky Jones (Richard Crane) & Winky (Scotty Beckett) race to save Vina (Sally Mansefield) from space pirates led by Earth renegades, Rinkman (Henry Brandon) and Dr. Venco (Gabriel Curtiz). She's saved and they go to Cassa-7 to visit her brother, Paul (Tom Brown). The pirates are working for Cheolanta (Patsy Parsons), the ice queen of planet Ophesius. Her assistant is Atlasan (Harry Lauter). Rocky uses Cold Light, the invention of Prof. Newton (Maurice Cass) to find the bad guys. James Griffith is a traitor working on Cassas-7. Hagar Nu (Ted Hecht) a Martian, fits into the story too. Also with Judd Holdren who was the third actor to play Commando Cody in a serial and on TV around the same time. This is three episodes of the popular TV space adventure “Rocky Jones, Space Ranger”. It's pretty low budget and also features Robert Leyden as little know it all Bobby.

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It's The Limit

 

 (wkipedia)

CITY LIMITS-1984-After a plague kills off most adults, a young guy, Lee (John Stockwell) goes to the city to join The Clippers. He and Yogi (Rae Dawn Chong) fight a gang dressed as nurses. James Earl Jones is Albert, Lee's mentor, who helps them fight the army of overacting evil. Carver (Robby Benson) is behind a plot and sits at a desk for his few scenes (they could have been filmed in his home!). Also with Kim Cattrall, Pamela Ludwig and Don Keith Opper (also a co-writer).  

Stupid hi-jinx from director/co-writer Arnold Lipstadt a few years after his first film ANDROID (1982). At least that movie had Klaus Kinski in it...

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Home? I Have No Home…

 (imdb)

 

BRIDE OF THE MONSTER-1955- Mad scientist Dr. Eric Vornoff (Bela Lugosi) is so far unsuccessful in his attempts to create a race of atomic superman. In his cheapo lab where he fries victims’ brains, he has a stove, refrigerator and a giant octopus. In town, the deaths are blamed on “The Monster”. Police Capt. Robbins (Harvey B. Dunn), who has a pet parakeet, discusses the case with Lt. Dick Craig (Tony McCoy) and his fiancée reporter, Janet (Loretta King) who is investigating the monster story. The suspicious Prof. Strowski (George Becwar) thinks the monster might be like the one in Loch Ness. On her way to Lake Marsh, Janet has a car accident. She faints but is rescued by Lobo (the one and only Tor Johnson), Vornoff''s hulking servant. Craig and his partner Marty (Don Nagel) go to the lake to find Janet, who's kind of being held prisoner by Varnoff. Meanwhile, Strowski visits the bad doctor.

Turns out the professor is from an unnamed country that had exiled Varnoff years before. Strowski wants to take Varnoff “home” but he will have none of it and throws Strowski to the octopus he happens to have on the premise (that's the monster). Varnoff decides to make Janet an atomic bride (complete with wedding gown) but Lobo has other ideas. He frees Janet and straps his boss to the operating table. Lobo and Craig have a fight (the Lieutenant fairs well). Somehow Lobo manages to turn Varnoff into a monster (now portrayed by stuntman Eddie Parker; no stranger to playing monsters..). Robbins, Marty and Kelton the cop (Paul Marco) arrive just as their tussle begins. Lobo is killed and now atomic Varnoff takes off with Janet. All's well that ends well as the doc becomes a victim of his own octo-monster. Robbins sums it all up: “He tampered in God's domain”. 

Several other Ed Wood “stock players” appear: Conrad Brooks (uncredited), Bud Osbourne, Ben Frommer and of course Dolores Fuller in a bit role as another reporter. Former “Bowery Boy” William “Whitey” Benedict also has a small role. Saying this is director Ed Wood, Jr.'s best movie might be stretching it but despite its so-so acting, weird plot, the who gives a shit editing and not too special effects, it's fun to watch and not see nearly as much as PLAN 9 has been in recent years. There's stock footage, of course and the scenes where the octopus kills its victims are pretty pathetic but after watching a few modern horror/Sc-Fi movies recently, I have to say for its entertainment value, BRIDE beats them all! 

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Comedy On Purpose

 

 (Wallpaper Cave)

  

ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES!-1978-This sci-fi comedy is an anything goes, made bad on purpose film. There's lots of crazy jokes and crude animation. A Japanese scientist talks with dubbed English voice. A weird looking woman reporter investigates. There are a lot of stupid characters and some sing! Most of the jokes are more goofy than funny. At first regular sized tomatoes attack but later some giant ones appear. The helicopter crash was real. 

Director John De Bello made three sequels and the film inspired a Saturday morning cartoon show.

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Another Bad Future

 

 (imdb)

THE NEW BARBARIANS (aka Warriors of the Wasteland)-1983-In 2019 AD “the nuclear holocaust is over” but bad film making in Italy still goes on. A group of fancy men called The Templars led by One (George Eastman), roam the land killing survivors. A loner named Scorpion (Timothy Brent aka Giancarlo Prete) saves a woman, Alma (Anna Kanakis) from the gang. When some of them trap Scorpion, he's saved by bow and arrow using Nadir (Fred Williamson), another loner. Later, the trio meet The Sect, a tribe that believes in God led by Father Moses (Venantino Venantini; also in CANNIBAL FEROX (1981)). When Scorpion is captured by The Templars, Nadir once again saves him. They team up with a little kid mec-hanic (Giovanni Frezza from THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETARY (1981)) to save The Sect from the sadistic One. 

Mindless ROAD WARRIOR inspired junk by director/co-screenwriter Enzo G. Castellari (ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX the same year; also with Prete). Bad guy Eastman was also in Castellari's 1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS (1982) along with the former football playing Williamson.

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Low Budget Sc-Fi

 

 (imdb)

SPAWN OF THE SLITHIS-1978-After some neighborhood dogs are killed, a mutated sea monster created by a nuclear leak at a petroleum company prowls around. Wayne Connors (Alan Blanchard), a high school teacher, investigates. Some of the victims are intentionally comical but I'm not so sure about the rest. The acting and direction are pretty bad. A police lieutenant (Hy Pike) acts like an insane Shakespearean actor. The monster (Win Condict) looks like an overgrown mutated Ninja Turtle. Connors, his wife (Judy Motulsky), Dr. John (Dennis Falt) and boat Capt. Chris (Mello Alexandria) (who's seen JAWS too many times) go after it. 

There are some gory deaths but too much talky scientific mumbo jumbo. Writer/director Stephen Traxler later produced DRACULA'S WIDOW (1988).

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Waiting For The UFOs

 

 (imdb)

UFO: TARGET EARTH-1974-Researcher Alan Grimes (Nick Plakias) hears a weird phone call from the government about UFOs. He decides to investigate. He interviews lots of people about UFOs. A woman who seems to be able to channel UFO energy helps him. Out in a forest, it turns out Alan possess the energy the formless aliens need to leave Earth. 

The acting and script are below par. Director/writer Michael DeGaetano later made PROJECT: METALBEAST (1995).

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Rise Of The Rip-Off

 

 

 (imdb)

RISE OF THE ZOMBIES-2012-A group from a research lab venture into the city because they believe a cure for a zombie plague is there, created by a scientist (French Stewart) with a monkey. Meanwhile another scientist (Levar Burton) stays behind doing experiments on the living dead (including his wife). This is another blatant rip-off from The Asylum, this time copying Romero's Dead series (especially DAY). The cast (including Mariel Hemingway, Danny Trejo, Ethan Suplee, Heather Hemmens) is whittled down and eaten. 

Director Nick Lyon also made ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE (2011).

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Last One For 2024

 

 (imdb)

THE CREMATORS-1972-A narrator tells us about a meteor that hit Earth many many years ago and a young Indian and a shark. In the present, bug expert Ian Thorne (Marvin Howard) finds a strange stone. When he sends it away to be analyzed it seems to be responsible for the mailman's death when he's burned alive by a ball of fire. Later Thorne gives a second stone to the weird looking Jeannie (Maria de Aragon). Then a pipe smoking local is burned by another fireball. After a lot of talk, a scientist tries to stop the fireball with a shotgun. 

The sfx, acting and direction are sub-par in this low budget sci-fi film directed and co-written by Harry Essex (OCTA-MAN (1971)) who in better times wrote the screenplay for THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954). The Cremators also features the second to last film score by Albert Glasser and the debut of SFX creator Doug Beswick (THE TERMINATOR, BEETLEJUICE). 

Lead actress de Aragon was later Greedo the alien (uncredited) in the first "Star Wars" movie.

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Long Day's Journey Into Space

 

 

 (themoviedb.org)

JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET-1962-In the year 2001 when the world is run by The United Nations, an international manned rocket ship is heading for Uranus. On the way their minds are taken over by an alien presence that learns their innermost feelings. Exploring the big U, they encounter a one-eyed creature (Terrible stop motion). They meet a village girl Ingrid (Greta Thyssen) and 2 other women. Ladies man Capt. Don Graham (John Agar; in HAND OF DEATH the same year) sees illusions of her. There's a giant spider and a one-eyed spongy monster wants to take over Earth. 

Techno-color Sci-Fi cheapie filmed in Denmark, directed and co-written by Sidney Pink (the English language version of REPTILICUS (1961)) and Ib Melchoir who had already teamed with Pink for THE ANGRY RED PLANET in 1959. 

Lead actress Thyssen was once groomed as a new Marilyn Monroe but now might be more well known to some of us from the trio of Joe Besser 3 Stooges shorts she co-starred in.

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Silly Cyborg

 

 (imdb)

CYBORG 2: GLASS SHADOW-1993-In 2074, Japan and the US vie for cyborg producing supremacy. At the center of this nonsense is a female cyborg Cash (Angelina Jolie) who has been injected with something called "GS" and she's going to blow up in 5 hours. A guy Colt (Elias Koteas) helps her escape while some kind computer voice (Jack Palance) aids them. The CEO (Allen Garfield) hires dip stick psycho Bench (who else but Billy Drago) to destroy them. "I think you kissed the wrong goodbye". Palance (who also narrates) shows up at the climax to make sitting through this tolerable but I was surprised by the final scene. Also with Karen Sheppard and Tracey Walter. 

Director Michael Schroeder had made the much better OUT OF THE DARK (1988). He made a second sequel CYBORG 3: THE RECYCLER the year after this.

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One's Enough

 

 (imdb)

SCORPIO ONE-1998-Terrible sf outer space junk about some CIA agents who go into space to investigate a space station where the whole crew has been killed. Robert Carradine (doing a lot of TV around this time), Jeff Speakman (THE PERFECT WEAPON (1991) and Robin Curtis (STAR TREK 3: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK (1984)) star. 

The director Worth Keeter later worked on several “Power Rangers” series.

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Alien Cover Up

 

 (imdb)

WAVELENGTH-1983-Iris (Cherie Currie) and musician Bobby (Robert Carradine) hook up at a bar. Iris seems to get a vibe from a secret government lab where some aliens are being held. Dan (Keenan Wynn) shows them a secret entrance. The duo arrive just as an autopsy is being performed on an alien and Iris freaks out. Yes, a secret government installation is housing 4 aliens who were shot down and believed to be dead but they are only in some kind of self-induced hibernation. The scientists all excited when they learn of Iris's connection and begin a battery of tests which culminates in the discovery that the aliens (now down to 3 since one was dissected) carry a deadly disease. "If you could go anywhere in the universe, would you come to this loony bin to set up a plantation?", someone asks. The inept jerks plan to bury the aliens alive (along with Iris & Bobby) but Bobby frees them from their cryogenic tanks. They highball it out to the desert with help from Dan and two native American friends. The Navy and The Marines plan on destroying them but the aliens (little bald guys played by kids) get help from their home world. 

This is a modestly made but entertaining little Sci-Fi film from New World Pictures. Director/writer Mike Gray had previously written THE CHINA SYNDROME (1979).

 (imdb)

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Solar Times 2

 

 (amazon)

SOLAR DESTRUCTION-2008-Solar flares threaten Earth. A 15-year-old math genius asshole (Chris Brochu) predicts what will happen but nobody believes him even after two scientists (Tracey Gold, Cliff DeYoung) back him up. An evil rich guy works against them. I've seen worst but this is pretty bad. The acting really blows. Low budget boredom from director Fred Olen Ray. Aka SOLAR FLARE.

 (the moviedb.org)

SOLAR IMPACT-2019-Forgettable 28 DAYS LATER rip-off about a group of dummies trying to survive after solar debris has turned most of the population of England into crazed zombies. Later it becomes a NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD talk fest. Directed by Craig Tudor James.

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TV Pilot From Canada

 

 (imdb)

984: PRISONER OF THE FUTURE-A group called "The Movement" (headed by an old fart Dr. Fontaine (Andrew Foot)) has taken over the US and charges a guy named Weston (Stephen Markle) with "crimes against humanity" and locks him up in a prison run by "The Warden" (Dan Francks), a bad Dr. Smith wannabe. Flashbacks tell a lot of the story but I was still confused as to exactly what this whole thing was about.

Director Tibor Takacs (before his more well-known movies) does try hard to present a Kafkaesque nightmare with a few doses of The Prisoner and Brave New World but a minuscule budget, poor script and only so-so acting undermine it. Actually, a CBC unsold TV pilot.

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