Home? I Have No Home…

 (imdb)

 

BRIDE OF THE MONSTER-1955- Mad scientist Dr. Eric Vornoff (Bela Lugosi) is so far unsuccessful in his attempts to create a race of atomic superman. In his cheapo lab where he fries victims’ brains, he has a stove, refrigerator and a giant octopus. In town, the deaths are blamed on “The Monster”. Police Capt. Robbins (Harvey B. Dunn), who has a pet parakeet, discusses the case with Lt. Dick Craig (Tony McCoy) and his fiancée reporter, Janet (Loretta King) who is investigating the monster story. The suspicious Prof. Strowski (George Becwar) thinks the monster might be like the one in Loch Ness. On her way to Lake Marsh, Janet has a car accident. She faints but is rescued by Lobo (the one and only Tor Johnson), Vornoff''s hulking servant. Craig and his partner Marty (Don Nagel) go to the lake to find Janet, who's kind of being held prisoner by Varnoff. Meanwhile, Strowski visits the bad doctor.

Turns out the professor is from an unnamed country that had exiled him years before. Strowski wants to take Varnoff “home” but he will have none of it and throws Strowski to the octopus he happens to have on the premise (that's the monster). Varnoff decides to make Janet an atomic bride (complete with wedding gown) but Lobo has other ideas. He frees Janet and straps his boss to the operating table. Lobo and Craig have a fight (the Lieutenant fairs well). Somehow Lobo manages to turn Varnoff into a monster (now portrayed by stuntman Eddie Parker; no stranger to playing monsters..). Robbins, Marty and Kelton the cop (Paul Marco) arrive just as their tussle begins. Lobo is killed and now atomic Varnoff takes off with Janet. All's well that ends well as the doc becomes a victim of his own octo-monster. Robbins sums it all up: “He tampered in God's domain”. 

Several other Ed Wood “stock players” appear: Conrad Brooks (uncredited), Bud Osbourne, Ben Frommer and of course Dolores Fuller in a bit role as another reporter. Former “Bowery Boy” William “Whitey” Benedict also has a small role. 

Saying this is director Ed Wood, Jr.'s best movie might be stretching it but despite its so-so acting, weird plot, the who gives a shit editing and not too special effects, it's fun to watch and not seen nearly as much as PLAN 9 has been in recent years. There's stock footage, of course and the scenes where the octopus kills its victims are pretty pathetic but after watching a few a few modern horror/sci-fi movies recently, I hage to say for entertainment value, BRIDE beats them all!

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Wood Back in Hollywood

 

 (imdb)

THE SINISTER URGE-1960-Lt. Carson (Keene Duncan; the phony swami in NIGHT OF THE GHOULS) and Sgt. Stone (Duke Moore; Lt. Harper in PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE) try to stop the pornography ring run by Johnny Ryde (Carl Anthony; also in PLAN 9) and Gloria Henderson (Jean Fontaine). Mr. Romaine (Wood regular Harvey B. Dunn), a small business operator complains that the police are too concerned with "smut" than crime. Johnny says "I look at this slush and try to remember at one time I made good movies". The chief porno photographer is a German named Jaffe (Harry Keaton). 

Meanwhile a psycho named Dirk (Dino Fantini) (who's on Gloria's payroll) hangs around and kills a woman in a park pond (in some prints there's a topless scene). The organization decides Dirk must go. Johnny arranges for Dirk to be killed in a car crash but that fails. Dirk goes for revenge. He tries to kill Johnny who convinces him Gloria planned his killing. Johnny botches it and Dirk kills him. Gloria shoots Dirk but she thinks she's shot Johnny and winds up incriminating herself when she calls the cops.

"Pornography. A nasty word for a dirty business" says Lt. Carson. 

A scene of Ed Wood fighting Conrad Brooks was actually filmed earlier for an aborted project. This is a typical “morality crime tale” written and directed by Ed Wood Jr. a year after the release of PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. Strangely, though this movie treats porn as a serious moral and criminal offense (and makes a connection to violence toward women) this would be Wood's last attempt at mainstream cinema. The rest of his output would be exploitative soft core sex films....

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Derek-The Kid From Outer Space

TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE-1959-After two weird astronomers discuss an object in space one of them saw, a dog howls and a flying saucer lands on Earth. After the credits aliens in pajamas like jumpsuits emerge. Their first order of business is to use a ray gun to reduce the dog to a skeleton. The group of young humanoid space beings is led by an arrogant authoritative captain (King Moody). His two standout crew members are the ruthless and pompous Thor (Bryan Grant) and the sensitive caring Derek (David Love). This group has come from their home planet to use Earth as a breeding ground for some monsters called "gargons", a source of food for their race. Derek protests when he reads the dead dog's id tag, deducing that the intelligent inhabitants of Earth don't deserve the fate his unnamed race has in store. He also gets on his soap box saying that their race wasn't always "mechanized slaves". Once there was families and love until "the annihilators" burned everything. The captain overpowers Derek and says he could be tortured and killed when they get home. Just when it looks like they've found grazing land for their gargons it's de-termined Earth's atmosphere is no good. They'll need a new planet. This makes Derek quite happy and he escapes. Thor could have shot him but the captain stops him because Derek is the son of their leader! It also turns out the atmosphere is ok for gargon raising. It was just an initial shock that hit the monster. Though tiny it will grow to gigantic size in time. 

Meanwhile, Derek wanders into town and winds up at the home of Betty Morgan (Dawn Bender) and her Grandpa (Harvey B. Dunn from Ed Wood movies), the owners of the dead dog. They assume he's come to rent the extra room they have and that his spacesuit apparel is some kind of private school uniform! The scowling asshole Thor is dispatched to find Derek. Thus begins the exciting story of an alien invasion! Jolly old Gramps and naive but infatuated Betty practically adopt Derek who says just enough not to let them know he's from out of this world, giving him clothes left behind by brother Bud (who got married and moved away) and letting him stay in their extra room for free until he finds a job! We are also introduced to Betty's boyfriend Joe Rogers (Tom Lock-⁹year aka do it all director Tom Graeff), a newspaper reporter who has to cancel his pool party date with Bets because he has to interview some locals who saw UFOs! Meantime the asshole Thor leaves some skeleton victims around town while looking for Derek. Betty invites him to her friend Alice's pool party but when they get there he tells Betty about her doggie's demise. She insists on seeing where it happened so she and Derek bid Alice adieu. Then Gramps meets Thor and gives away just about everything that's going on. 

Back at the death site Derek explains to Betty what a focusing disintegrator ray does. They decide to visit Prof. Sim-pson so Derek can explain his predicament. After Thor vaporizes Alice he again visits Gramps  who spills the beans a second time. Thor kills the Professor. Betty and Derek go to City Hall where agents with guns are waiting. Derek gets a hold of Gramps again and forces him to drive to the hall. A furious shootout ensues and Gramps has trouble crossing the street. Thor kills two of the agents but is wounded. While Gramps gives Joe (who dis-covered Alice's skeleton in her pool) the lowdown, Thor forces Derek and Betty to drive him to a doctor (Frederic Welsh). Then he forces the doctor to operate on him without anesthesia. Be-fore he passes out Thor tells Derek about the gargons and him being the leader's dad. Derek, Betty and the doc escape but unfortunately the doc's nurse arrives and patches Thor up just before the doc calls to warn her. Thor forces the nurse to drive him to the desert lan-ding area right about the same time Joe and his friend Mac go for a look. Mac goes into the cave where the gorgan is chillin' and becomes dinner. After Thor cracks up the car and is arrested Derek and Betty go looking for Thor's lost ray gun. The two share a kiss then find the ray gun just as a ginormous gargon appears. With the power of the electric company Derek kills the gargon.

Later after a lot of convoluted talk Derek tricks his dad, Thor and Mr. Torture and makes all the invading spaceships crash. 

This is one nutty movie the brainchild of writer/director/co-star Tom Graeff ( he also shot and edited it).

The plot and dialogue are ridiculous but it does hold a certain sense of charm. The giant gargon effect though is one of the worst ever. A lobster superimposed onto the film. For years it was mis-reported that star David Love and director Tom Graeff were the same person but this was an error.To read more about Mr. Graeff check out these sites:

http://gf-productions.com/tomgraeff/

https://www.tomgraeff.org/

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Ed Wood on TV?

It's usually interesting to see un-aired TV pilots especially if they were made for a series that later made it to one of the networks. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND and THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW were two that featured different cast members but were never shown. The pilot for LOST IN SPACE was never aired but scenes were incorporated into an early episode after the series began.

But then there are TV pilots, some aired, some not, whose story was never sold. What happens to them? Well, thanks to modern age video tape, DVDs and e-Bay many of these unseen shows are surfacing. Most have at least something to offer: an unusual plot, one or two known (or soon to be known) actors, a future director, whatever....

Ed Wood made a TV Western pilot (in color) called CROSSROAD AVENGER in 1953. It featured former cowboy star Tom Keene as "The Tucson Kid", an Old West insurance investigator who is framed for the murder of a local sheriff by a corrupt saloon owner (Wood regular Lyle Talbot). The whole production is pretty sub-par with the actors spouting typical Wood dialogue while guided by Ed's lackluster "get it done quick" direction. A stand out scene is when "The Kid" and a prospector are caught in a night ambush. Instead of taking cover they stand out in plain sight in front of the bad guys and return fire until the prospector is shot dead!

Another ex-cowboy star Tom Tyler (who also played the banaged lead in 1940's THE MUMMY'S HAND) is the not so hip deputy. It would be his last role as he died the following year. He kind of looks like Patrick Stewart to me!

Several other "Wood veterans" are on hand: the always entertaining Harvey B. Dunn (he plays the police chief in BRIDE OF THE MONSTER) plays the talkitive prospector and Keene Duncan and Bud Osbourne round out the cast. Wood even gives himself the small role as a Pony Express rider at the begining....

Supposedly Wood filmed a sequel and combined the two into an hour adventure. Some feel if this had sold Wood's no budget "classics" would never had been made...

CROSSROADS AVENGER isn't much unless you're an Ed Wood completist but it looks like a masterpiece compared to the next "lost" pilot.......

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