Bad English Thing

 

 (imdb)

SPELLCASTER-1989-A bunch of dorks win a contest to the remote Diablo Castle for a treasure hunt hosted by skinny English VJ Rex (Richard Blade) and moronic English singer Cassandra Castle (Bunty Bailey). The first victim is a French woman killed by the chair she's sitting in. The drunken singer Castle is terrorized by a bunch of rotting corpses. A fat guy turns into a pig. A suit of armor comes to life. The VJ is killed by a winged monster. A female hunter is eaten by a dog. One woman meets Diablo (Adam Ant)), a sarcastic jerk with a crystal ball. In the end, when the crystal ball is destroyed, everyone comes back to life. Filmed in Rome by director Rafal Zielinski. Really bad

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Camping Massacre

 

 (imdb)

4/20 MASSACRE-2018-Two dweebs are searching for marijuana on government land. They find it but one of them seems to be killed by a monster. After the credits, 5 women go camping for one member's birthday. They are warned by Ranger Rick to stay clear of illegal pot farmers. The group meets the dweeb who didn't get killed before the credits. He gives them his stolen weed and after they leave, the monster disembowels him. Later they meet a redneck hunting rabbits. Later the monster (obviously someone in a costume) puts a lit joint in his eye. 

Meanwhile, the women drink and get high. The first camper to die has her bong shoved through her head. Two more are hacked to death. Of course, the ranger is in league with the monster. Jess, the last survivor and birthday girl, meets the rabbit hunter, now blind and he's killed helping her stab the monster. After she kills the ranger, she smokes a joint while a Rap song plays. 

The director/writer Dylan Reynolds is probably out there right now plotting more shitty movies.

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More Cars

 

 (themoviedatabase)

HOT CARS-1956-Happily married used car salesman Nick (John Bromfield) is fired from his job for being too honest. To support his wife (Carol Shannon) and sickly baby son, he takes a job selling cars for the shady Mr. Markel (Ralph Clanton), working for manager Smiley Ward (Mark Dana; in PHAROAH'S CURSE the next year). Later he meets police detective Davenport (Dabbs Greer) who's investigating the stolen car racket. Ater the delivery of some “hot” cars, Nick realizes he's part of the stolen car ring. 

He quits Markel but when he gets home, he finds his wife in hysterics because their baby is in the hospital. He goes back to Markel and meets head hot car guy Otto (Kurt Katch) and learns “the business”. He almost has to sell a stolen car to Davenport but Smiley helps him out of it. Nick hooks up with Karen Winters (Joi Lansing), then gets involved in Davenport's murder. She could provide him with an alibi but pretends not to know him. Markel decides to do away with Nick and a fist fight on a rollercoaster between Nick and Smiley caps this story. 

his average crime drama was one of the few feature films directed by Don McDougall, a very versatile TV director. Star Broomfield was in CURUCU, BEAST OF THE AMAZON the same year. 

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The Endest, Man

 

 (imdb)

GHOST OF DRAGSTRIP HALLOW-1959-After the great ghost credits opening, a news reporter (Russ Bender) does a story on a teenage hot red club where a band shoots off guns while playing “Geronimo”. Lois Cavendish (Jody Fair; THE BRAIN EATERS (1958)) is a car crazy chick. The club's kind of leader is Stan (Martin Braddock) who informs everyone they are going to be evicted from their clubhouse. Lois has an eccentric aunt (Dorothy Neumann) who plays the flute and has a pet parrot. Rival hot rodder Tony (Jack Ging) makes trouble before they all go to the aunt's old haunted house. Weird things happen and the shadow of a familiar monster hangs around. It's a male version of the She-Creature! The gang have a costume party and a guy named Jimmie Maddin sings a song called “Tongue Tied”. A guy named Dave shows off his talking car. It turns out the monster is real life SFX creator Paul Blaisdell (in the last film he ever worked on) who's mad because he wasn't in THE HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM! 

But the rock and roll music drives out a real ghost. 

Sometimes known as the film that ushered out the '50's teenage horror/rock and roll boom, it was directed by William Hole (THE DEVIL'S PARTNER (1961) and written by AIP veteran Lou Rusoff. The uncredited singer Maddin was more well known as a nightclub owner than for the few singles he released in the late 1950's.

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More Rods

 (imdb)

HOT ROAD GANG-1958-Hep cat hot rodders drag right down Main Street. College student John Abernathy (John Ashley) rehearses with his combo in a place owned by landlord Al (Dub Taylor). After almost running down a guy, John sings “Hit and Run Lover”. He's also the heir to his grandfather's fortune and has two eccentric aunts (Dorothy Neumann and Helen Spring). His lawyer sets him up with Lois (Jody Fair; starred in THE GHOST OF DRAGSTRIP HOLLOW the next year), the daughter of the lawyer's new partner (Doodles Weaver). John takes Lois to his gang's hangout where they meet John's girlfriend (Maureen Arthur) and he has a fight with a rival. Later Lois introduces John to Gene Vincent (himself) who invites him on his TV show. John wears a disguise and becomes a big sensation but is framed for burglary and arrested by a tough cop (Russ Bender). The real burglars try to break up the gang's sock hop and things get a little nutty. John beats down the real bad guy in the end. 

This AIP teen hot rod drama was coming near the end of its genre. The executive producer was silent screen star Buddy Rogers. Co-producer and screenwriter Lou Rusoff wrote many AIP productions. This was one of the last features directed by Lew Landers who years before (under the name Louis Friedlander) directed THE RAVEN (1935) with Karloff and Lugosi. After this he did mostly TV work and died in 1962. Music is by Ronald Stein and the cinematographer was Floyd Crosby.

 (imdb)

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Hot Rods

 (imdb)

HOT ROD-1950-Two brothers convince their dad to sponsor a racetrack in their town to stop teenagers from illegally drag racing. Dave (James “Jimmy” Lydon) is the bicycle rider brother who wants to work for a newspaper and Joe (Myron Healy) is a cop. Their father is a judge (Art Baker, later a host of TV's “You Asked For It”). Dave has a whiny friend named Swifty (Gil Stratton). When Dave gets a car, showoff hot rodder Jack (Tommy Bond from “Our Gang” shorts) makes him eat dust and embarrass him in front of Jane (Gloria Winters), a girl he's sweet on. He and Swifty try to supe up his car but Jack steals the car and Dave is charged with a hit and run accident. Before anything really bad can happen, Jack admits he did it. Dave and Swifty almost get into more trouble chasing a crook but then help capture him. In the end, the town teens get their legal racetrack and Dave gets Jane. 

This low budget Monogram production was directed by Lewis D. Collins who made many westerns around this time. Former child actor Lydon had been in Edgar Ulmer's STRANGE ILLUSION in 1945. He later had parts in LIFE WITH FATHER (1947) and JOAN OF ARC (1948). 

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Bill Dee

 (imdb)

THE TAKE-1974-Terry Sneed (Billy Dee Williams) is a San Franciso police Lieutenant who goes to New Mexico to help a police commissioner (Eddie Albert) but takes money from Manso (Vic Morrow), a local gangster with a heart condition. Police captain Dolek (Albert Salmi) is also crooked. They investigate “small time punk” Danny James (Frankie Avalon). He breaks down and cries but helps them track shipments of “H”. After he pisses off Manso, Sneed is beaten up but he's nursed back to health by his girlfriend Nancy (Tracy Reed). Meanwhile, a real estate developer Oscar (Sorrell Brooke) hangs around. Later, Sneed teams with a young cop Tall Bear (A Martinez) to get back at Manso. Also with John Chandler (MAD DOG COLL (1961) and Kathleen Hughes (IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE (1953). Vic Perrin is heard on a radio. 

This is a standard crime drama based on a British novel filmed in the US by English director Robert Hartford-Davis (CORRUPTION (1968) who had made BLACK GUNN in 1972. 

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It Happened in Sweden

 

 (imdb)

REPTILICUS-1961-In Copenhagen, some scientists discover a frozen piece of a prehistoric dinosaur. When one of them falls asleep leaving the freezer door open, the piece thaws. The guys put it in some kind of incubator to keep it alive. Grouchy American General Mark Grayson (Carl Ottosen) goes on a tour of the city with some comedic UNESCO scientist. Reptilicus grows and kills the scientists and some cows. 

It could be the worst monster in giant monster history. An obvious puppet, it's scaly and slimy and shoots green slime (described as “burning acid slime”). One victim is a cut out! Although it was usually said that the US version of REPTILICUS was just a dubbed version with a few added scenes, there were actually two separate films made. One for Danish audiences directed by Poul Bang and the other for US moviegoers directed by Sid Pink (JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET).

There was a model too!

 (thedoctorsmodelmansion)

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Hey, Boris!

 

 (imdb)

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE KILLER, BORIS KARLOFF-1949-A lawyer named Strickland is murdered. The chief suspect is bellhop Freddy (Lou) who's helped out by hotel detective Casey (Bud) after he's fired by his manager Melton (Alan Mowbray). Inspector Wellman (James Flavin) has plenty of other suspects: suspected husband poisoner Angela (Lenore Aubert), Swami Talpur (Boris Karloff) and Hanley Brooks (Roland Winters). The funniest part is Talpur trying to hypnotize Freddy into committing suicide and when Freddy dresses as a maid (he and Casey have to hide some dead bodies) and he is chatted up by the night watchman (Percy Helton). Also with Mikel Conrad and a bit by Bobby Barber. 

Director Charles Barton made 9 movies with Abbott & Costello including perhaps their best one A & C MEET FRANKENSTEIN (also featuring Lenore Aubert) in 1948. Ironically, he would also direct the team's final film together DANCE WITH ME, HENRY in 1956, usually considered one of their worst. In the '30's he was assistant director of The Marx Brothers movies MONKEY BUSINESS and HORSE FEATHERS.

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A Big Beast

 

 (imdb)

THE BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN-1956-If you are looking for a good giant monster flick, you might be disappointed. Nearly half of this movie is a love triangle between Mexico based American rancher Jim (Guy Madison), local jealous trouble making rancher Enrique (Eduardo Noriega) and his fiancée Sarita (Patricia Medina) under the shadow of the haunted Hollow Mountain. Town big shot Don Pedro (Julio Villarreal) tries to smooth things over but is no help. 

After comical drunk Pancho (Garcia Pena) disappears into the mountain, a giant (badly animated) dinosaur shows up to munch cattle and start a stampede just as Sarita goes looking for Pancho's son, Panchito (Mario Navarro; also a pest in THE BLACK SCORPION the next year). Jim and his partner Felipe (Carlos Rivas; later in THEY SAVED HITLER'S BRAIN (1968)) try to stop the stampede from heading to town where a huge wedding festival is taking place. They are unsuccessful but Enrique's treachery is revealed. Sarita and Panchito encounter the monster while looking for dad. It's Jim vs. Dyno in the finale with Jim only using a pistol and knife to stave off the prehistoric attack when he and Enrique are trapped in a cave. After Enrique becomes dyno meat, Jim lures the dino into quicksand to save the day. The rear projection effects are terrible. 

Two directors are credited, American Edward Nassour and Mexican Ismael Rodriguez. It was the first full length giant dinosaur movie filmed in color (Toho's RODAN would be second). The legendary Willis O'Brien is credited as one of the writers but the sfx are by someone else. O'Brien worked on a similar story for several years after until his death. It was eventually filmed as THE VALLEY OF THE GWANGI.

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RIP Herschell Gordon Lewis

 

 (imdb)

THE UH-OH SHOW-2009-Herschell Gordon Lewis (who appears telling gory stories to some kids) kind of updated his original “gore” movies (like THE WIZARD OF GORE) with his black comedy that's not very good. 

A late-night cable station called “The Uh-Oh Show” offers huge prizes to contestants who can answer questions correctly. However, if they answer incorrectly, a wheel is spun and a part of their body is hacked off. It features loud obnoxious characters, not so great acting and of course disgusting but not very convincing sfx. 

It's supposed to be a comedy I guess but the laughs are few and far between. This was writer/director Lewis' last feature film (he passed away in 2016 at age 90). Troma's Lloyd Kaufman has a small role as a pimp.

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Gargoyle Good Time

 

 (imdb)

GARGOYLES-1972-Anthropologist Mercer Bolley (Cornell Wilde) and his daughter Diana (Jennifer Salt) run afoul of an ancient race of gargoyles. An old geezer (Woody Chamblis) tells them a story and shows them a weird skeleton just before his shack is set ablaze and he burns to death. Bolley rescues a skull and he and Diana hightail it to a sleazy hotel run by Mrs. Parks (Grayson Hall). Later 2 gargoyles break in and steal the skull. While fleeing, one is killed. Still the sheriff (Warren Stevens) blames everything on a motorcycle gang and it's leader (Scott Glenn). The gargoyle leader (Bernie Casey with the dubbed voice of Vic Perrin) kidnaps Diana. The bikers team up with local authorities to hunt the monsters who want to wipe out mankind and take over. They have a cave full of eggs and the leader takes a shine to Diana. Though mankind is eventually saved, the leader gets away. 

Stan Winston did some work on the gargoyles in this underrated horror tale that seems to have gained a cult following in recent years. It's certainly one of the best TV horror movies ever! Director Bill Norton (sometimes known as BWL Norton) made it between CISCO PIKE and MORE AMERICAN GRAFFITI. His next film was 1985's BABY: SECRET OF THE LOST LEGEND. He then worked mostly in television.

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 (public domain pictures)

   

Boy, Oh, Boy

 

 (themoviedatabase)

THE BOY-2016-Greta (Lauren Cohan), an American nanny is hired by an elderly couple to take care of their son in a remote English manor. To her shock and surprise, their son, Brahms is a doll! After a while the “parents” go on vacation leaving Greta alone with the spooky kid doll. During a thunderstorm, she has a bad dream and hears noises and Brahm's cries (it's really a drip in the ceiling). From Malcolm (Rupert Evans), the guy who delivers the groceries, she learns that the real Brahms was killed in a fire. Before going on a date with Malcolm, Greta gets locked in the attic, then thinks she sees someone and faints (it's just a jacket on a hanger). 

Though it seems like Brahms may be alive, Greta gets some weird phone calls which make it seem as though it's a plot to make her lose her mind. Later after the old couple commit suicide, Greta begins to treat Brahms like a real kid. Somehow, her psychotic boyfriend Cole (Ben Robson) finds her and destroys the doll. Then a life size Brahms (James Russell) shows up. Apparently, he's been living there and spying on her. After Cole is killed and she thinks Malcolm is dead, she tries to be nice and stabs Brahms. She and Malcolm escape and someone is shown putting the doll back together. 

Director William Brent Bell (THE DEVIL INSIDE (2012) followed this with a sequel BRAHMS: THE BOY II in 2020.

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PS-Once again I prove how topsy-turvey this blog is as I reviewed the sequel first a few years ago! 

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/4609335177952045780/5403532682911172637

Mercy!

 (imdb)

ALMOST MERCY-2015-This may be a “black comedy” but it's really just a sick excuse for some jerk (probably with a mother fixation) to make a crap horror movie. It's about a teenager named Emily (Danielle Guldin) who becomes a sociopath killer. The acting and direction both suck. Kane Hodder is a gym teacher, Bill Moseley is a pastor and pro wrestler Tommy Dreamer is in it too. 

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Five?

 

 (imdb)

FIVE SUPERFIGHTERS-1979-A dude in black beats up the teacher and students of a martial arts school. He says their Kung-Fu is “lousy”. 3 students vow revenge on the guy but split up almost immediately having a quarrel over who should head north. Meanwhile, a young widow beats up the idiotic Mr. Ma and his two thugs when they harass her. “Hey, that woman's Kung-Fu is pretty good”. Ting Tien, the student who goes north meets and gets beaten up by her, then helps her grind bean curd. Chi, the second student gets in trouble for peeing on a scarecrow (a gambler was hiding in it). He starts gambling but when the gambler's wife breaks up the game, he has to fight everyone. He then gets beat up by a drunk guy who walks funny but becomes his student. The third dummy meets a fisherman, gets beat up then becomes his assistant. While all this is going on, their downtrodden master who thinks the trio has abandoned him, meets Mr. Fu. Tien is a real jerk. Even the widow's blind father gets the best of him. When the trio finally meet again they give the guy in black a good fight but their master's drunken sword technique saves the day.

 Only in a Run Run Shaw production could 4 guys beat up one guy and the fight still be fair. Not sure why the title mentions 5. Director Mar Lo provides good fights and action in this underrated feature.

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Snowblood

 

 (imdb)

LADY SNOWBLOOD-1973-Yuki Kashimi (Mieko Kaji), a kimono wearing young woman with a parasol and a sword seeks revenge on the scum who killed her father and brother and raped her mother. She's trained by a hard nosed priest. A reporter, Asiho (Toshio Kurosawa), writes a story about her, hoping to flush out one of the killers. It also turns out another killer faked his death. 

Although, seemingly mortally wounded from her final battle, she's stabbed by the daughter of one of the killers. She seems to die but later opens her eyes. 

Excellent violent revenge tale well executed by director Toshiya Fujita. Mieko Kaji returned in LADY SNOWBLOOD 2: LOVE SONG OF VENGEANCE in 1974 (also directed by Fujita).

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RIP/Mesa Mess

RIP:

https://www.tokyoweekender.com/japan-life/news-and-opinion/kenji-ohba-dies-at-72/

 (imdb)

MESA OF LOST WOMEN-1953-While a narrator (Lyle Talbot) talks about “foolish bipeds”, in Mexico oil surveyor Frank (John Martin) and his assistant Mulcahey (Richard Travis) find two people wandering aimlessly in “the desert of death”. He takes them to an American “Doc” Tucker (Allan Nixon) at the oil plant. The guy, who's a pilot named Grant Phillips (Robert Knapp), rants about “super bugs” and Dr. Aranya, which upsets Mexican guide Pepe (Chris Pin-Martin in his last role). Phillips then relates his story but is interrupted by the narrator who tells the story of Dr. Masterson (Harmon Stevens), who goes all by himself in suit and tie to visit Dr. Aranya's desert lair. Aranya (a very skinny Jackie Coogan with goggle glasses and a wart) uses some kind of tarantula hormone to make “super female spiders with a thinking and reasoning brain that one day might rule the world!”. Masterson doesn't go for the doctor's experiments and winds up in a Mexican asylum but he escapes and goes to a local dive, looking very deranged and acting strange after meeting businessman Jan (Nico Lek) and his fiancé, Doreen (Paula/Mary Hill). 

Somehow one of the spider women, Tarantella (Tandra Quinn; in THE NEANDERTHAL MAN the same year) is a dancer there. Phillips also shows up followed by Masterson's male nurse George (usual ape impersonator George Barrows). While Tarantella is performing, Masterson shoots her. She seems to die. Masterson then forces Phillips to fly everyone, including Jan's manservant Wong (Samuel Wu), to Aranya's hideout. They don't make it, crashing in a nearby forest (?) where the insect women and 2 dwarves (John George and Angelo Rossitto) hang around watching the group. After George is killed, it's revealed Woo is working for Aranya but when he makes his report, the mad scientist has him killed. After Jan is killed by a giant spider, the remaining passengers are taken to Aranya who revivies Masterson to his normal self. Before the future Uncle Fester can do anymore harm, Masterson concocts an explosive to destroy all the heinous goings on. Only Phillips and Doreen (who earlier declare their love) escape. But some of the women are still around... 

MESA OF LOST WOMAN began production in 1951 by one Herbert Trevos. Either the movie was never finished, or the finished product was so bad it never saw the light of day. Either way, a year or so later, Ron Ormond (who was making low budget westerns with Lash LaRue at the time) either bought the film or was hired to “do something with it”. Apparently, the characters of Aranya and his spider babes was added footage. 

Original director Trevos was quite a mystery man at one time. So much so, that some came to believe MESA may have actually been directed by Ed Wood Jr. since there are several “Wood connections”, ie: narrator Talbot, Dolores Fuller and Mona McKinnon are 2 of the spider women) but in recent times, thanks to a letter from his own son, it seems Trevos was a real person who had worked for ADGA in Germany and the US. This was his only effort. The weird musical interludes were written by Hoyt Curtin who later wrote many famous cartoon themes like “The Flintstones”, “The Jetsons”, “Huckleberry Hound” and “Johnny Quest”. His music for MESA wound up a year later in Ed Wood's JAILBAIT! Screenwriter Orville Hampton (THE FOUR SKULLS OF JONATHAN DRAKE (1959)) is said to have been a co-writer (with Trevos) but is only credited as “dialogue supervisor”. 

Everyone should see this fiasco at least once because seeing is believing!

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Holy Bananas! It's A Girl's Leg!

 

 (imdb)

 COLOR ME BLOOD RED-1965-Frustrated painter Adam Sorg (Don Joseph aka Gordon Oas-Helm) insults a pompous art critic and has contempt for his fans. He's a kind of a jerk who doesn't think much of the gallery owner who exhibits Sorg's hideous paintings. When his girlfriend cuts herself and bleeds on his canvas, he finds just the right shade of red he was looking for. She won't let him use anymore blood, so he cuts himself and paints with his own blood. This weakens him considerably so to finish his painting he kills his girlfriend and uses her hemoglobin. Later the art critic praises the new painting but Sorg refuses to sell it. “I would not like to be that man's psychoanalyst” quips the critic. Back home, he kills a man and woman and uses her blood to create a new masterpiece. 4 dope smoking young people go for a swim near Sorg's house. He asks one of the women to model for him and she goes at night to see him. He ties her up and plans to kill her but her friends arrive and Sorg is shot in the face. 

Sometimes referred to as the last of director Hershell Gordon Lewis' “Blood Trilogy”, this black comedy is pretty funny and the character of artist Sorg is a good psycho. It features lots of blood and bad acting. MONSTER A GO GO was released the same year and of course compared to that COLOR ME BLOOD RED seems like a big-budgeted Hollywood production. 

Lewis' next horror film would be TASTE OF BLOOD in 1967. Star Oas-Helm many years later played Manford, the butler on “The New Monkees” reboot TV flop!

 (imdb)

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It Happened Twice?

 

DEADTIME STORIES-VOL. 1-2009-Cheap anthology hosted by George Romero (!).

“The Valley of the Shadows”: A woman leads an expedition into the jungle to find her missing husband. The party is terrorized and killed off by a mysterious head-hunting savage. Guess who? Written and directed by Jeff Monahan, an actor who was in later Romero features.

“Wet”: An alcoholic finds a hand on the beach. A jerky antique dealer (Nick Mancuso) tells him it's the hand of a vicious mermaid he chopped up. The alky brings her back to life and she kills him and the antique dealer or something like that.. Directed by Michael Fischa (MY MOM'S A WEREWOLF (1989))

“House Call”: A mother tells her doctor about her son who's obviously some kind of vampire. Directed by Tom Savini.

VOL. 2

“The Gorge”: 3 spelunkers get trapped in a cave and resort to cannibalism. Directed by Matt Walsh, who was usually a sound engineer.

“On Sabbath Hill”: An arrogant college teacher impregnates a student who's driven to suicide. Her ghost comes back to haunt him or is it in his mind? Probably the best of the lot. Directed by Jeff Monahan.

“Dust”: A security guard gives an untested drug (made of dust from Mars) to his dying wife. It cures her...for a while. This one makes no sense. Directed by Michael Fischa.

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They're Not Scaring Anybody

 

SCARECROWS-1988-A bunch of dumb bank robbers in a hijacked plane go to a cornfield to get their hidden loot. One of them parachutes out planning on taking the 3 million for himself. The others land the plane and go looking for him. He's killed by a scarecrow, then brought back to life and beats up some of his partners until they decapitate him. Scarecrows seem to be running around the cornfield, resurrecting dead people and borrowing their limbs. 

Sound good? It actually sucks. 

The only actor (?) I knew in it was Ted Vernon, the little bald guy from that Florida wrestling movie HAMMERHEAD JONES (1986). Co-written, produced and directed by William Wesley in Florida. Cinematographer Peter Deming had already shot EVIL DEAD 2 (1987) and went on to work with David Lynch and do many high-profile movies like the “Austin Power” series.

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Another Time

 

 (imdb)

MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED-2010-Great documentary about exploitation film making in the Philippines in the 1970's. It covers women in prison, blaxploitation, the Blood Island films, collaborations with Hemisphere and New World companies. Plus interviews with John Ashley, Cirio Santiago, Bobby Suraz, Roger Corman, Joe Dante, Jack Hill, Chris Mitchum, Sid Haig, Gloria Hendry, Marlene Clarke, Eddie Garcia, Eddie Romero, Weng Weng and many more. 

Director/co-writer Mark Hartley (from Austraila) made many other documentaries and music videos before making the feature film PATRICK: EVIL AWAKES (2007).

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Magic and Wonder at Lincoln Center

 

Palance in Charge

 

 

WARRIORS 5-1962-An American paratrooper (Jack Palance) teams up with 5 Italian soldiers (including Venantino Venantini) and a hooker (Giovanna Ralli) to blow up a bridge to slow down the German army's advance right after Italy has surrendered during WW2. 

This slow-moving Italian production, directed Leopoldo Savona, was presented by AIP in the US. Co-star Venantini years later was in several infamous Italian zombie movies. Star Palance was in BARABBAS the year before and would star in Jean Luc Godard's CONTEMPT the next and have his own short lived TV series “The Greatest Show On Earth”.

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Violent Trio

 

 (themoviedatabase)

THE VIOLENT ONES-1967-In New Mexico, after a young woman (Melinda Marx; daughter of Groucho) is raped and beaten, embattled sheriff Manuel Vega (Fernando Lamas, who also directed) picks up 3 men (Aldo Ray, Tommy Sands and David Carradine) as suspects. When the girl dies, the town demands a lynching. He and his deputy (Ned Romero) try to quell the tension. For some reason, after the town gathers for trouble, the sheriff decides to handle things his own way. He chains the 3 suspects together to take them to another town across the desert. Unfortunately, they crash, fight each other and are chased by a gang led by the dead girl's father. In the end the real killer is exposed. 

Since Lamas directed, there's no one to tell him when to stop shouting. It's an ok TOUCH OF EVIL knock off, I guess. With Lisa Gaye as a nurse and Rudolfo Acosta.

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Condors

 (imdb)

 
EASTERN CONDORS-1987-Some Chinese convicts go to Vietnam to destroy a stockpile of munitions left behind by the US. It's part martial arts, part DEERHUNTER, part DIRTY DOZEN with great fights. Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao beat up everyone. It's violent and action packed with Academy Award winning actor Dr. Haing S. Ngor. The villain is played by Wah Yuen who made many movies after (and before) this, He was in the big budgeted SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS in 2021. Director Hung (real name: Kam Bo-Hung) directed the Jackie Chan film DRAGONS FOREVER the same year (he also co-starred). From 1998-2000 he starred in the US TV show “Martial Law”. 

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Who Needs It?

 

 (themoviedatabase.org)

THE HOWLING: REBORN-2011-This boring shit has something to do with a nerdy kid and a bunch of assholes who are werewolves. There's a lot of talk, overacting and eventually some werewolves show up at the end. Obviously made to cash in on the success of the TWILIGHT franchise, this was filmed in Canada and co-written and directed by Joe Mimziki who was once an executive with Sony Pictures.

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Not Testing

 

 (imdb)

THIS IS NOT A TEST-1962-A bunch of motorists are held at a roadblock by a dictatorial traffic cop (Seamon Glass) during the start of a nuclear war. The cop seems determine to keep everyone there even if by force. He makes then all unload a tractor trailer that he says they can hide in when the bombs fall. Meanwhile a young killer hangs around.  

This is at times a chilling low budget cold war drama directed by mystery man Fredric Gadette in his only feature film although according to one source he also directed episodes of TV's “You Asked For It” and “ABC's The Wide World of Sports”. He died fairly young in 1967 of lung cancer.

 (imdb)

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Bow and Arrow Stuff

 

 (imdb)

AVENGED-2013-Zoe (Amanda Adrienne) deaf woman traveling alone in California is tortured and killed by a group of white trash scumbags. An American Indian Grey Wolf (Joseph Running Cloud) finds her body. During some kind of burial ritual, she's brought back to life now inhabited by a vengeful Apache spirit. She screws most of up her killers pretty good, mostly with a bow and arrow. The spirit is a mean looking green guy who's getting revenge because a retarded redneck family killed a lot of Indians. 

Lots of flashing lights, yelling and emoting. It might sound good but it's badly made by director Michael S. Ojeda. 

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Kimono Murder

 

 (imdb)

THE CRIMSON KIMONO-1959-A standard crime drama is taken one step further by writer/director Sam Fuller's unique touch. In LA's Little Tokyo, American detective Charlie Bancroft (Glen Corbett, in his film debut) and Japanese American detective Joe Kajaku (James Shigeta) are trying to catch the murderer of a stripper. They are best friends until Christine Downes (Victoria Shaw) comes between them.

 Interesting love triangle twist that also touches on Asia-American racism. Also with Anna Lee and Paul Dubov and Water Barry and Stafford Repp in uncredited roles.

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Horoscope Mystery

 

 (imdb)

WHEN WERE YOU BORN?-1938-Interesting but forgotten Warner Brothers mystery feature with Anna May Wong as astrologer Mei Lei Ming and her pet monkey. She predicts the death of a merchant named Corey (James Stephenson) who's partner (fake Chinese) Mr. Gow (Leonard Mudie) wants some letters Corey had in his safe. Through the use of the horoscope Mei helps fat police Sgt. Kelly (Frank Jacuet) and Inspector Gregg (Charles Wilson) solve the case. Who's the culprit? Doris Kane (top billed Margaret Lindsey), Corey's fiancée? Her brother Harry (Anthony Averell), who had an argument with Corey? How about Shields (Eric Stanley), Corey's butler? Olin Howland is a lawyer in one scene. 

Bela Lugosi's pal, Manly P. Hall (who's credited with the original story) explains that astrology is a science in an introduction to the film. Also Jack (Clayton) Moore and Maurice Cass. Director William C. McGann (SH! THE OCTOPUS (1937)) made over 50 movies and also did SFX on many others (THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT (1945), THE BEAST WITH 5 FINGERS (1946)).

It's a shame this wasn't considered for a whole or at least a sequel but perhaps Hollywood's prejudice toward Asian actors (American born or otherwise) at the time had something to do with it. A white American actress has top billing over the Asian American real star after all!

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It's War!

 

 (imdb)

BLACK ENFORCERS aka THE BLACK GESTAPO-1975-The People's Army, a black military like group formed by “white money” for “blacks to help blacks” wear red berets and arm bands. Their leader The General (Rod Perry) is sincere but his second in command, the Colonel (Charles Robinson) wants war, especially after some thugs hassle nurse Marsha (Angela Brent) and beat up one of the army's members. Later, after dirt bags Vito (Phil Hoover) and Ernie (Wes Bishop, one of the writers) beat up and rape Marsha, the Colonel and his small faction castrate Vito while he's taking a bath. His group eventually drive the wig wearing crime boss (the movie's director Lee Frost) and his gang out of town. 

The Colonel and his troops occupy a mansion and train for battle. They switch to all black uniforms and Swahili names and take over the numbers, protection and prostitution rackets. This all goes on right under the General's nose as he's too busy trying to save the neighborhood and having sex with Marsha. Eventually, the General brings them all down. Uschi Digard makes a brief appearance. 

Terrible Blaxploitation movie with a bad script and ridiculous acting. Director Lee Frost started his career in the early '60's and seemed to make every kind of exploitation film: HOUSE ON BARE MOUNTAIN (1962), MONDO BIZARRO (1966), CHROME AND HOT LEATHER (1971), THE THING WITH TWO HEADS (1972) among them.

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Opium Kung Fu

 

 (themoviedatbase)

OPIUM AND THE KUNG FU MASTER-aka LIGHTENING FISTS OF SHAOLIN-1984-Tieh (Lung Ti; THE SENTIMENTAL SWORDSMAN (1977)) is the leader of a Chinese militia and martial arts teacher. A master turns his place into an opium den. Many of the men become addicts, abandoning their wives, losing their jobs and generally slacking off. Ti is defeated by his nemesis Yung Feng (Kuan Ti Chen) because of his own addiction to opium. After his son is killed, a blind priest helps Ti break his habit. He goes through the usual back breaking retraining. In a rematch, Tieh not only has to fight Yung but his two henchmen who have huge shields. 

The movie features some great fights but the strangest part is that a kind of comedic character becomes an addict, leading to the deaths of his wife and children and his suicide. One of three movies actor Tang Chia (SHOALIN INTRUDERS (1983)) directed for the Shaw Brothers.

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New Fox

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NEW TALES OF THE FLYING FOX-1984-Two “heroes” have a sword fight. Hu Feng (Alex Wong) is a knife (scimitar) master and Miao (Alex Man) is a sword master. They fight but are evenly matched, however Miao's brother and his wife put poison on Miao's sword and when Feng gets a little scratch he dies. His wife commits suicide after his death entrusting the care of her son to Miao but before he can pick up his new charge, a servant takes the baby and runs. The baby Wu-Fei grows up to be an excellent Kung-Fu guy who wants revenge against Miao who he believes killed his father. Later there's a lot of talk about poisoning. After several awesome fights, Miao and Wu Feng must fight a group from Tibet and then the evil brother who has two powerful weapons. 

This Shaw Brothers production directed by Sze-Yu Lau, is based on book by Louis Cha. 

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Deadly

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THE DEADLY KNIVES-(aka FISTS OF VENGEANCE)-1972-A young man named YenTzu-Fei (Yun Ling) returns to his village with Kuan Yue-Hua (Li Ching), his new love. His adopted sister Cha-Cha (Lily Li) is jealous. “Evil” Japanese want a forest for timber but Yen's father, who has a deed to the land, stands in their way. Ogawa (Miao Ching), a pervert, declares this love for Cha-Cha quite violently after fantasizing about her taking off her clothes. An all-out battle ensues at the end of course. 

This Shaw Brothers production was directed by Il-Ho Jang (THUNDERBOLT FIST (1972).

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Fistful

 

A FISTFUL OF DYNAMITE-aka DUCK, YOU SUCKER!-1971-An ignorant violent Mexican bandit (Rod Steiger) and an IRA explosive expert (James Colburn) on the run from the British team up with a doctor (Romolo Valli) and his revolutionaries in Mexico to rob a bank. Unfortunately for them, there's no money. The bank was being used to house 150 political prisoners. They are liberated and the bandit becomes a reluctant political hero. 

This overlooked “spaghetti western” was the last western directed the legendary Sergio Leone (also a co-writer). He hadn't planned on directing but one story says Steiger insisted on it. 

Of course there's also a great score by Ennio Morricone. New Zealand actor David Warbeck who years later was in 2 films by Lucio Fulci appears in a flashback.

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