In Your Pants

 

 (imdb)

EMPIRE OF THE ANTS-1977-Con woman Joan Collins tries to interest a boat load of prospective suckers into buying Florida swamp land. 

Unfortunately for the party, giant ants (contaminated by radioactive waste) decided to invade and munch on the cast. The phony insects superimposed on the screen is a riot. They're too big. “Oh my God, they're herding us like cattle!” says one disgruntled character. Robert Lansing holds things together as the grizzled boat captain (with an earring). John David Carson (THE SAVAGE IS LOOSE) helps out. Brooke (daughter of Jack) Palance gets killed. When Albert Salmi (also in THE COMING for the same director) shows up as a sheriff it develops into a conspiracy story involving a sugar factory and slavery lead by the queen ant. 

Bert I. Gordon (who died in 2023 at the age of 100) made this giant bug movie which seems influenced by his earlier projects, FOOD OF THE GODS and VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS. Gordon from Wisconsin made TV commercials before making his first feature KING DINOSAUR in 1955.

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Mr. BIG's Giant Bugs

 

 (imdb)

THE BEGINNING OF THE END-1957-When the town of Ludlow, Illinois is mysteriously destroyed and the army blocks all roads, famous reporter Audrey Ames (Peggie Castle; later in the TV series “Lawman”) inves-tigates. Col. Strugeon (Thomas B. Henry) and Captain Barton (James Seay) give her the lowdown on Ludlow and later let her visit the destruction. 

Nearby, she meets entomologist Ed Wainwright (Peter Graves; in BAYOU the same year), his mute assistant Frank (Than Wyenn) and their large experimental vegetables. When the 3 of them investigate a warehouse wreck, they discover giant locusts are causing the destruction and poor Frank is killed. They tell Strugeon but he doesn't believe them until he takes out a platoon and they are attacked. Ed figures the locusts got big eating his radiated vegetables. General Hanson (Morris Ankrum) sends General Short (Frank Wilcox) back to Illinois with Ed and Audrey where the locusts are on the march. Unfortunately, the government orders Hanson to drop an A-bomb on Chicago if Ed can't come up with a solution! After they capture a live giant locust, Ed discovers a high frequency signal that drive the horde into the water. 

The sfx are really laughable even by director Bert I. Gordon standards. Scenes of the locusts crawling up buildings are them just crawling over pictures! Also with Richard Benedict and Hank Patterson. Mr. BIG made two other classic low budget features in 1957: THE CYCLOPS and THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN.

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Mr. Big's Ants

 

 (themoviedatabase)

EMPIRE OF THE ANTS-1977-After an introduction that says ants are as smart as men, real estate scammer Marilyn (Joan Collins) takes a bunch of prospective suckers on a yacht piloted by Capt. Stokey (Robert Lansing). Unfortunately, her swampland is overrun by ants who have been contaminated by radioactivity. Group includes John David Carson (THE SAVAGE IS LOOSE (1974), familiar TV actress Jacqueline Scott, Pamela Shoop (later in HALLOWEEN 2 (1981)), Robert Pine (who was a regular on the TV show “Chips” at the time), Irene Tedrow (another familiar TV actress), familiar TV actor Harry Holcombe and Brooke Palance (daughter of Jack). The ants grow very big and start killing. After munching and menacing, the survivors meet a weird couple who call the sheriff (Albert Salmi). It turns a nearby town has been enslaved by the ants and hypnotized by their queen. Some flares and a gasoline truck help put an end to the ant party. 

Who else but director Burt I. Gordon would have made a modern-day movie about giant ants and then say it was based on a novel by HG Wells? (he did the same thing earlier with FOOD OF THE GODS in1965) The SFX aren't so good but the strange turn the story takes is kind of surprising. Salmi was in Mr. B.I.G.'s next film BURNED AT THE STAKE in 1982. Gordon died in 2023 at the age of 100!

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Too Tufts To Die

 

 (imdb)

SERPENT ISLAND-1954-A rummy sailor Pete Mason (Sonny Tufts) agrees to help Miss Ricky Andre (Mary Munday) find the family treasure using the infamous Andre Letter which she carries. They charter a boat for Haiti from Capt. Ellis (Tom Monroe) who doesn't like Mason and vice-versa and eventually they have a fight. Pete and Ricky go off to an island as he doesn't believe the gold is in Haiti. On the island Pete puts his moves on Ricky. At first, she resists but then accepts it and judging by the scenes of crashing waves they have a great time! Pete and Ricky are captured by the island natives. There are actually only two. The rest is stock footage. Pete even knows the head priestess (Rosalind Hayes). Her servant Jacques (Don Blackman) has a couple of fights with Pete. The gold they are looking for is an idol worshiped by the locals. A giant snake almost kills Ricky but Pete saves her. Ellis however has other plans but he's bitten by a snake. Pete & Ricky escape, gold-less but in love. 

This romantic adventure story is very cheap with a minimal cast. This was writer/director Tom Gries debut but he went on to TV in the '50's and '60's and much later made some bigger budgeted movies like WILL PENNY (1967), the TV mini-series HELTER SKELTER (1976), THE GREATEST (his last in 1977) and others. Mr BIG himself Bert I. Gordon was the producer and cinematographer, a year before he directed his first film, KING DINOSAUR! Star Sonny Tufts had been in CAT-WOMAN OF THE MOON the year before.

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Mr. BIG is 100!

 It was director Bert I. Gordon's 100 birthday a couple of days ago. Let's celebrate!

EARTH VS. THE SPIDER-1958-A small town has a spider problem. Two teenagers Mike (Gene Persson) & Carol (June Kenny) searching for the girl's father (Merritt Stone) stumble into a cave where a giant spider is nesting. They escape and warn the sheriff (Gene Roth) who scoffs. A school professor Art Kingman (Ed Kemmer) convinces the sheriff the threat might be real. A whole group goes out to the cave. They find Carol's dad's corpse and the giant spider. They think they kill it with DDT and Kingman convinces the sheriff to bring it back to the school to be studied. It's locked away in the gym but Hugo the janitor (Hank Patterson) allows bass playing Sam's (Skip Young) rocking combo to rehearse there and their swinging rock & roll brings the creature back to life! It wrecks the town endangering everyone including Kingman's wife (Sally Fraser) and their kid. Stupidly Mike and Carol go back to the cave to look for her lost bracelet. Unfortunately the spider heads back there. They get lost and the town plans to dynamite the cave. 

Mike's dad Mr. Simpson (Hal Torey) owns a movie theater that's showing THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN & ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE both directed by SPIDER's director Mr. BIG himself Bert I. Gordon. There's also a scene of a teenager reading “Famous Monsters Of Filmland” number 1! 

The strange part of this story (forgetting that there's a normal sized spider blown up to look gigantic on the screen) is that Kemmer's character of Kingman is really responsible for all the the destruction and death. Co-screenwriter Lazlo Gorog also penned THE MOLE PEOPLE. George Worthington Yates, the other screenwriter scripted several other Mr. BIG movies and THEM!

Thnaks for reading and thanks to Mr. BIG. Hope you had a nice day!

Mr Big Is Back!

  (photo: IMDB) 

TORMENTED-1960-On a coastal island in an abandoned lighthouse, Jazz pianist Tom Stewart (Richard Carlson) let's his former lover Vi (Juli Reding) fall to her death when she threatens to blackmail him with some incriminating love letters which would spoil his upcoming marriage to rich girlfriend Meg Hubbard (Lugene Sanders). 

Almost immediately he starts to feel guilty. He sees VI's corpse floating in the ocean but when he swims out to retrieve it, he finds it's just a pile of seaweed. Then he sees strange footprints in the sand. Meanwhile Meg's very young sister Sandy (Susan Gordon, the director's daughter) performs a magic trick. He has a weird dream where he's menaced by Vi's ghost. Then he sees a disembodied hand wearing Meg's wedding ring. Then Meg's wedding dress is wrapped in seaweed. His blind housekeeper Mrs. Ellis (Lillian Adams) suspects a ghost. A boat operator (Joe Turkel) who brought Vi to the island tries to blackmail Tom. 

Later he has a conversation with VI's disembodied head. At Vi's urging Tom kills the blackmailer. Unfortunately Sandy witnesses the whole thing! The wedding doesn't turn out as they planned either. All the flowers die. Later when Tom goes to the lighthouse and tells Vi she's won but Sandy follows him and tells him she knows he's a killer. Tom plans on pushing Sandy off the lighthouse but Vi's ghost causes him to fall off and die. Tom and Vi are united in un-dead matrimony. Gene Roth and Merrit Stone have small roles. 

Not a bad little low budget ghost story from Mr. BIG himself Bert I. Gordon (Still alive at the time of this writing!).

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They Don't Call Him Mr. Big For Nothing!

 THE CYCLOPS-1957-Susan Winter (Gloria Talbott) is looking for her husband who disappeared in a mysterious valley in Mexico. Along for the ride are the pilot Lee Brand (Tom Drake), bacteriologist Ross Bradford (James Craig) and Marty (Lon Chaney), a grumpy guy looking for uranium. They encounter some giant animals (lizard, hawk, rodent) and the husband now a 25 foot giant (Duncan “Dean” Parkin) with a radiation scarred face and one eye. He traps them in a cave and kills Marty. They make for their airplane while the cyclops is fighting a snake. Bradford throws a flaming spear into its eye and they escape. 

Once again writer-director Bert I. Gordon makes a low budget movie about a gigantic man. Supposedly shot in 5 or 6 days Gordon did his best with what he had. Monster Dean Parkin played the scarred Glen Manning in THE WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST the next year, a sequel to THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN (which Mr. B.I.G.made the same year as this; he also made the giant bug movie THE BEGINNING OF THE END in '57). 

Star Gloria Talbot was the lead in DAUGHTER OF DR. JEKYLL the same year as this. Male lead James Craig was once groomed to be Clark Gable's replacement while the star was in the army. 

Despite having co-starred with Judy Garland in 1944's MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS, Tom Drake's film career never took off and he wound up mostly doing TV. 

Lon Chaney co-starred in the TV series "The Last of The Mohicans" around this time. He had a standout role in THE DEFIANT ONES the next year. 

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Welles Meets Mr. Big

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NECROMANCY-1972-Laurie (Pamela Franklin) and Frank (Michael Ontkean) Brandon decide to move to the country to forget about their stillborn child. On their drive to the town called Lilith they are almost in a collision but manage to avoid the other car which plummets off a cliff and explodes. While Frank goes for the police Laurie checks out the fiery crash. She finds a doll and takes it with her. When their car runs out of gas (?), Frank leaves Laurie alone to get some. She hears a voice and wanders around until she comes to some kind of funeral for a young boy. But she looks closer she sees herself in the coffin. Then the scene vanishes and she's alone in front of a tombstone. 

Finally they meet Frank’s new boss Mr. Cato (Orson Welles with glasses & fake nose) a toy manufacturer who likes “the black arts”. Laurie takes an immediate dislike to Cato and the town. His assistant Priscilla (Lee Purcell) tells Laurie that Cato’s son is dead and Cato won't accept it. She also says Cato not only owns the town, he owns the people too. At party, the people talk about astrology and use tarot cards while Cato smiles and drinks wine. Laurie has some weird visions. Later Cato reveals to Laurie that he believes she has a power to bring back the dead and wants her to bring back his son! After refusing to join the local coven and seeing a young boy no one else can see, she gets locked in the basement and is terrorized by rats. But it all seems to be an illusion and hubby is a witch too. In the end Laurie kills herself and is brought back to life. Somehow Cato’s son comes back to life and Laurie is put in his coffin and buried alive. But it all seems to be a dream with the happy couple getting ready to go to Lilith and disaster. 

This modern day supernatural nonsense was the product of Mr. BIG himself Bert I. Gordon who also co-wrote the script.

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Mr. BIG Again!

PICTURE MOMMY DEAD-1966-Edward Shelly (Don Ameche) brings his new wife/ex-nanny Francine (Martha Hyer) and his daughter Susan (Susan Gordon) to the house where a few years before Susan witnessed the death of her mother (Zsa Zsa Gabor) (she doesn't really remember it though). Looks like things aren't going to go so well as they first meet a scarred cousin named Tony (Maxwell Reed), then a wise ass hick executor (Wendell Corey). Susan has inherited a lot of money but can't collect until she's 25 and if she dies or is declared incompetent then the parents get the money. Almost immediately she hears voices, sees blood dripping from a portrait of mom and then actual appearances of mom going up in flames. Later Francine tries to enlist Tony's help in getting Susan's inheritance but he rejects her and she kills him with a climbing hook. She tries to blame the death on Susan but flashbacks reveal what really happened and how history goes on to repeat itself. The ending is kind of stupid. (Dad's the loony)

Bert I Gordon strikes again with this insipid little murder mystery which isn't very original.

Mr. BIG's Pirates

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THE BOY AND THE PIRATES-1960-Jimmy (Charles Herbert), a little kid who likes pirates finds a bottle with a mini-genie (Joe Turkel) in it. Because of a wish he makes Jimmy winds up on “The Queen's Revenge”, a pirate ship ruled by the infamous Blackbeard (Murvyn Vye)) who makes Jimmy his cabin boy. He has to swab the deck, clean fish and get rum for the captain. After the pirates loot and kill on a Dutch ship Jimmy (who Blackbeard calls a “miserable cabin rat”) rescues Katrina (Susan Gordon), a girl about his age. Blackbeard wants to throw her overboard but Jimmy stands up for her. When the crew learn their captain is after some gold, Morgan (Timothy Carey) tries to burn out Jimmy's tongue. When a British ship attacks The Queens Revenge, Jimmy and Katrina escape to an island but Blackbeard follows them. Jimmy throws the genie bottle at the pirate and he winds up back home. 

Despite being aimed at kids there's long stretches of talk and blood and violence. 

This bizarre kiddie swashbuckling fantasy was the first color film for “Mr. BIG” himself Bert I. Gordon (still alive at the time of this writing). There are no giant monsters but it's definitely a low budget production with some mediocre SFX. This was the second of four appearances for Susan Gordon in her dad's movies. Star Charles Herbert was also a popular child star at the time having been in THE FLY and THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK and many TV shows. He was in William Castle's 13 GHOSTS the same year.

Thanks for reading, matey!