Feudal Japan

 

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AZUMI-2003-Azumi (Aya Ueto) is trained to be an assassin in feudal Japan. She has to kill her friend as a village is slaughtered. She then goes after several warlords who are deemed evil but Azumi has some doubts. This is a violent tragic story with great swordplay and direction but it's a little mean spirited. 

Director Ryuhei Kitamura made ARAGAMI the same year. He was previously known for VERSUS (2000) and later made GODZILLA: FINAL WARS (2004) and THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN (2008).

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God of Battle

 

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ARAGAMI-2003-2 young Samurai, wounded in battle, seek refuge in a secluded castle. While his companion dies, the other (Takao Osawa) awakens and his wounds are healed. The owner (Masaya Kato) claims to be Aragami, the god of battle. He says he wants the samurai to kill him but it's not that easy. This 3 person Japanese tale has good swordplay and acting but was too talky for me. The director Ryuhei Kitamura also made VERSUS and GODZILLA: FINAL WARS.

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Part 2

 

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SHAOLIN VS. EVIL DEAD-2: ULTIMATE POWER-2007-Not nearly as entertaining as part one, as there is a long back story for the first hour (including a short animated story) which is rather disorienting since part one ended so abruptly. It tells the origins of how White (Gordon Liu) and Hak become brothers. Hak has a poison in his body that makes him bad. Their dad (Siu-Ming Lao) also has poison in his body and before he dies he hands everything over to White (he feels Hak is too mean). Great long fight finale, swordplay and a legion of hopping vampires. Director Douglas Kung also ends this one rather abruptly. 

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Honey, I Shrunk The Budget...

 

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WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM-1985-This weird kind of kid oriented fantasy starts off with a narrator telling us about the age of wizards with scenes from other movies. Then in the kingdom of King Tylor, a wizard's son Simon (Vidal Peterson) is given a magic ring by his father just before their kingdom is attacked by the traitorous sorcerer Shurka (Thom Christopher) and his troops under the guidance of the evil queen, who kills the king and the wizard. Simon escapes with Wookie like companion Gulfax. Shurka imprisons the princess who's sweet on Simon and captures all the children. When Simon is trapped by some bad guys enter Kor (Bo Swenson), a sort of wino warrior/wanderer. Kor decides to help Simon despite the fact that he is being hunted by a cyclops who wants the warrior to marry his sister! At one point Simon comes under a spell of black magic and it's scenes from another movie (DEATHSTALKER; not unusual since this movie was produced by Roger Corman's Concorde which often incorporated clips from other movies). Later they meet a mermaid and Simon defeats Shurka.

 It's a very dumb story with terrible SFX written by Ed Naha who later penned TROLL and DOLLS for Richard Band and the big budgeted high profile HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS. He'd also written for many magazines including Starlog, Fangoria and Playboy. WIZARDS is one of a handful of movies filmed in Argentina by Concorde. Director Hector Olivera also made BARBARIAN QUEEN for Corman.

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Shaw Brothers

 

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THE SWORD OF SWORDS-1968-Mei Ling Chung (Miao Chin) has an ancient and magical sword everyone wants. When he and his wife and daughter are attacked by The Shangs, they are saved by the Ninja like Fang (Feng Tien). At his school Shang Kwan (Chun-Hsin Huang) is actually a trouble making spy and wants to eliminate Chen Chow (Jimmy Wang Yu), their teacher's favorite pupil. Although the way the teacher treats him I find that hard to believe. After Chen Chow is given the sword and Fang's spying is revealed, The Shangs kill Chow's aunt and kidnap his wife. Unfortunately he can't go help her because he promised his teacher he wouldn't use the sword for personal matters. They get his wife back but then she's recaptured. 

While Chen goes to save his wife Kwan tries to learn the location of the sword but winds up killing Chen's parents, sister and aunt and burning down their house. Betrayed by Fang, Kwan gets the sword, blinds Chen and leaves him for dead, a bloody mess. Of course, Chen battles back. In the strange violent finale, Chen is tricked into killing his friends (including a child) before killing all the bad guys and Kwan and getting the sword back. 

Writer-director Kang Cheng later made IMMORTAL WARRIORS and INVINCIBLE ENFORCER.

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Magic From Japan

MAGIC SERPENT-1966-This one starts off with a bang! Ninjas attack a castle and kill the master and everyone else except a small group that rescues the Master’s son. Unfortunately they are attacked by a dragon. Everyone is killed except for the son who is whisked away by a giant serpent. 10 years later, the young son Ichizuchi-Maru (HirokiMatsukata), is under the tutelage of an old man. While out in the forest, ninjas attack and one cuts off his head but he lives on and after interrogating one ninja his head rejoins his body. Then he meets Sunate (Tomoko Ogawa), a woman looking for her father.

 While this is happening the old man is visited by his former pupil, Orochi-Maru (Ryutaru Otomo) who killed Maru’s father. Although the old man is much more powerful than his pupil the pupil tricks his former teacher with a scroll that turns into a snake and kills him. We also learn during their conversation that the pupil can turn into a dragon. Maru and Sunate find the master dying. He gives Maru a scroll for “ninja invisibility” and clues him in on who killed his dad. Maru vows revenge! He and Sunate part ways. She continues the search for her father after her grandma gives her a pin with a spider on it. This fun fantasy from Japan has a little of everything. Underwater ninjas, a giant lizard, magic, sword fighting, a Kanju battle and a giant spider! And the monsters use Godzilla, Mothra and Rodan roars! It was directed by Tetsuya Yamaouchi.

Maijin Returns!

RETURN OF DAIMAIJIN-1966-An evil warlord conquers a village but the leader Lord Juro (Kojiro Hongo; also in a couple of GAMMERA movies) escapes. The warlord's army goes to the next village to look for him. Unfortunately for the warlord and minions the village is protected by the stone giant Maijin who's already angry. It gets even angrier when the warlord sends soldiers to destroy the statue, has village leader killed and holds his son hostage. His daughter goes to pray to Maljin for help. While mourning the destruction, she and her servant bodyguard find Jiro. A boat of soldiers lead by a mean subordinate is swallowed up by the lake. After lots of intrigue, swordplay and praying Jiro and the son and daughter are condemned to death. At the 61 minute mark Maijin makes its appearance and trounces the bad guys. It's still impressive but I thought the SFX in the first one were better. This Japanese production is a sequel to MAJIN: MONSTER OF TERROR. It was followed by a third installment THE WRATH OF DAIMAIJIN. 

SinBaaad...

SINBAD OF THE SEVEN SEAS-1989-Terrible “Hercules” like tale which according to the credits is based on a story by Edgar Allan Poe! 

Sinbad (Lou Ferrigino) has a mixed crew (a Chinese warrior, a viking, a dwarf, etc.) who argue with each other and occasionally fight but mostly the story is held together by a narrator, a mother (Daria Nicolodi) telling her kid a bedtime story. Maybe they lost the soundtrack or were too lazy to dub everything. An evil sorcerer (John Steiner; hamming it up more than usual) and a sorceress (Teagan) are the main villains and there's some unintentional comedy. 

Director Enzo G. Castellari made this Italian production after several movies with the words “The Bronx” in their titles.

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More Shaw

ONE ARMED SWORDSMAN-1967-After his father is killed, Kang (Yu Wang) is taken in by a master swordsman and trains at his school. Years pass and he becomes the master's best student much to the chagrin of the other students including the master's daughter Pei (Yin-Tze Pan). In a fit of rage she chops off Kang's arm. He wanders away and is found by Xiao Man (Lisa Chiao Chiao) who nurses him back to health.. At first he's bitter but later he trains with his father's broken sword and goes about his business. Rival master swordsmen Smiling Face (Tang Ti) and Old Long Arm (Yeung Chi-hing) want to wipe out the master swordsman's school using a new weapon called a sword lock. When Pei is kidnapped, Kang saves her. This unfortunately causes some problems for Xiao Man and Kang but then he professes his love for her. Long Arm's forces attack the school and kill many of his students (one guy commits suicide). Just when things look bad Kang shows up (after killing Smiling Face with the help this dad's short sword) and kills Long Arm.. He goes back to Xiao Man leaving Pei angry and broken hearted. 

Thanks to veteran director Chang Chen it has excellent sword fights and some gore. Star Yu Wang was known in the US as Jimmy Wang. ONE ARMED SWORDSMAN was a box office winner for The Shaw Brothers and the first Hong Kong film to gross 1 million dollars! Followed by a great sequel RETURN OF THE ONE ARMED SWORDSMAN and a third unrelated entry THE NEW ONE ARMED SWORDSMAN. All three are highly recommended!

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Semi-Silent

THE IRON MASK-1929-This is a 1950's re-release of the famous (mostly) silent sequel to The Three Musketeers starring Douglas Fairbanks Sr as D'Artagnan. It features new music and narration by Douglas Fairbanks Jr. The two sound sequences are part of the original print. It features great camera work and stunts and the last scene (which also seems to be bidding good bye to the silent era) is memorable. Director Allan Dwan was already a seasoned pro in 1929 as he began his career in 1911! He and Fairbanks also contributed to the screenplay credited to Lotta Woods (who worked on previous films with Fairbanks).

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Swords

THE SENTIMENTAL SWORDSMAN-1977-Flying Dagger Lee (Ti Lung; later in John Woo's A BETTER TOMORROW and Sngmoo Lee's THE WARRIOR'S WAY) is a swordsman who's code of honor has cost to him a lot including giving up his fiance to a rival who saved his life. Now he wanders the countryside with his faithful servant while drowning his sorrows in wine. Along the way he befriends Ah Fei (Tung-Shing Yee) and becomes embroiled in many situations including being poisoned and coming into the possession of a golden vest. Later while looking for the elusive Plum Blossom Bandit he's framed for murder and is marked for death by  the 5 Poisons Kid. The plot is sometimes confusing but there's plenty of action and fights. It's based on a series of novels and spawned 2 sequels all directed by Yuen Chor (WEB OF DEATH).

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Mr. BIG's Pirates

7The

THE BOY AND THE PIRATES-1960-Jimmy (Charles Herbert), a little kid who likes pirates finds a bottle with a mini-genie (Joe Turkel) in it. Because of a wish he makes Jimmy winds up on “The Queen's Revenge”, a pirate ship ruled by the infamous Blackbeard (Murvyn Vye)) who makes Jimmy his cabin boy. He has to swab the deck, clean fish and get rum for the captain. After the pirates loot and kill on a Dutch ship Jimmy (who Blackbeard calls a “miserable cabin rat”) rescues Katrina (Susan Gordon), a girl about his age. Blackbeard wants to throw her overboard but Jimmy stands up for her. When the crew learn their captain is after some gold, Morgan (Timothy Carey) tries to burn out Jimmy's tongue. When a British ship attacks The Queens Revenge, Jimmy and Katrina escape to an island but Blackbeard follows them. Jimmy throws the genie bottle at the pirate and he winds up back home. 

Despite being aimed at kids there's long stretches of talk and blood and violence. 

This bizarre kiddie swashbuckling fantasy was the first color film for “Mr. BIG” himself Bert I. Gordon (still alive at the time of this writing). There are no giant monsters but it's definitely a low budget production with some mediocre SFX. This was the second of four appearances for Susan Gordon in her dad's movies. Star Charles Herbert was also a popular child star at the time having been in THE FLY and THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK and many TV shows. He was in William Castle's 13 GHOSTS the same year.

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Pre-Guns John Woo

LAST HURRAH FOR CHIVALRY-1979-After his father is killed by a martial arts master Tsing Yi (Damian Lau) vows revenge. He hires two swordsmen Pray (Hark-on Fung) and Chan (Pai Wei) to help and they have several sword fights. However while the hired killers live by a code of honor that might not be so for Yi. 

 There's not that much hand to hand combat but the swordplay choreography is terrific in this early John Woo period piece (that he also co-produced and co-wrote) for Golden Harvest. Of course a few years later he traded in swords for guns with super action dramas like HARDBOILED and THE KILLER

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Robin Hood

THE SWORD OF SHERWOOD FOREST-1960-Robin Hood (Richard Greene; future Nayland Smith in the Chris Lee/Fu Manchu series) and his merry men protect a mysterious traveler wanted as a dangerous criminal by The Sheriff of Nottingham (Peter Cushing) who offers one merry man a pardon if he'll talk and when he does the sheriff has him killed anyway. The sheriff is after a silver medallion the traveler has. Maid Marian (Sarah Branch), a comical Friar Tuck (Niall McGuiness), Little John (Nigel Greene; another Nayland Smith) et.al are all there to help. 

Later Robin meets Lord Newark (Richard Pasco) and his band of un-merry men including the falcon loving Lord Melton (Oliver Reed). Newark wants Robin to assassinate The Archbishop of Canterbury (Jack Gwillam). When this fails, the lord and his men attack a nunnery where the bishop and Marian are hiding out. The sheriff won't go along with the plan so Melton knifes him. The finale sword battle takes place in the nunnery's church. Most of the sword play is bad especially when Marian is tossed a sword and she fights off an attack side saddled! 

There's several other story lines that don't even involve Robin giving it the feel of a condensed TV series. 

This Hammer production was filmed in Ireland by Terence Fisher (who made the much better BRIDES OF DRACULA with Cushing the same year) after the end of the original TV series that starred Richard Greene.  

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Grin and Lambert It

DAY OF WRATH (GAME OF SWORDS)-2005-In Spain in 1542, during the inquisition, a drunken sheriff (Christopher Lambert) investigates a series of murders that leads to a conspiracy involving corruption, torture, murder and aristocrats covering up their Jewish bloodline.  This medieval tale is very slow going and Lambert's character is kind of a fool but it was nice to see Brian Blessed as the pompous mayor. James Faulkner is Friar Anselmo who conducts some tortures. A few higher production values can't cover up the fact that this is just more Lambert boredom. Filmed mostly in Budapest by director Adrian Rudomin.

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D & D: Dumb and Depraved

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS:THE BOOK OF VILE DARKNESS-2012-A group of treasure hunters fight CGI dragons in this low budget fantasy which is actually the third entry in a D&D trilogy. The groups includes a young hero knight (but he's not much of a hero really), a guy with half a face and a long roving eye and the usual bitchy female warrior. They fight over a treasure and double cross each other. In the climax the hero is almost skinned alive to make a secret book. The acting and dialogue as usual are ridiculous. There are some cool looking knights in a forest and a lot of CGI. I suppose if you are a D & D fan you might like it. I've read this is better than the first two parts. I can't imagine how bad they must be. The director Gerry Lively also made DARKNESS FALLS.

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Swords and Stuff

YELLOW RIVER FIGHTER-1988-In China, "a thousand years ago", 3 warlords fight for supremacy.
a great swordsman fails to protect his daughter who is killed by one of the warlords. He goes on a drunken spree and is befriended/exploited by a magician/con-artist who has him do a "drunken sword dance" but another warlord has some of his men poison the swordsman. He doesn't die but instead goes blind. Later the third warlord King Quan (who's life the swordsman saved earlier) takes in the swordsman and the con-artist. He helps the swordsman open a fighting school. Even though he seems nice he sends assassins (in cool masks) to kill the remaining warlord King Lee and his daughter Jen-Jen. After some deceitful tricks by Quan, the swordsman is forced to kill Lee (who has an awesome fighting weapon) because he thinks his daughter's dead. The final showdown takes place in a monastery during a lightening storm and on a cliff near a raging waterfall.

This historical drama (with some comedy) has great sword battles but is brought down somewhat by the con artist character's constant whining and the badly dubbed voices. Director Hsin-yen Chang also made DEADEND BESIEGERS.

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Ultra Crap

ULTRA-COP 2000-1995-This crazy comedy/fantasy/action film from the Philippines is very hard to follow! A special police team tries to infiltrate a gang called the Black Dragons. Meanwhile 2 Martians (?) have a couple of sword fights. Two cops one male (Ricky Davao) one female (Yukari Oshima aka  Cynthia Luster) search for a drug dealer named Wong. In a very weird comical scene a suicidal gay guy comes on to one of the Martians. He later explains his story to the duo but the male cop says "Maybe he was just the same like you, a queer!". The Martians seem to be sucking the life force from helpless Earthlings. There's several gun battles and a car chase (with explosions) but the movie really descents into stupidity with jokes about the gay character they are trying to protect. The two Martians later fight it out in an airline hangar while the police shoot it out with the drug dealers.

Fortunately it all seems to be a dream. Some movies are based/inspired/ripped off from other movies ULTRA-COP 2000's only inspiration is stupidity. The direction, dubbing and fights are terrible. Director Phillip Ho may have once been married to lead actress Oshima.

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Funky Lady Monkey

LADY IRON MONKEY-1979-This Taiwanese martial arts films begins with with two idiots (one big fat guy, one a little person) getting belted by fruit courtesy of Ming Ling Shur (Fung-lin Chin), a young woman who resembles a monkey and knows Kung-Fu. The idiotic duo's Master captures her and takes her to civilization. The two idiots call ugly and she runs away. She becomes the bodyguard for a prince who she falls in love with. When she realizes the prince is only using her in his bid to be emperor she runs away and begs her master's maid to help her "become a woman". She becomes more female looking after taking some medicine but still has a tail! She goes through some more training involving candles, pots and learning to use her tail as a weapon (hilarious scene). Her tail comes in handy when the prince gets his comeuppance in the finale crazy battle. Lo Lien (5 FINGERS OF DEATH) and Sing Chen (NEW FIST OF FURY) are also in it. Director Chi-Hwa Chen made early Jackie Chan movies (HALF A LOAF OF KUNG-FU, 36 CRAZY FISTS).

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PS-As is shown in the above picture, IRON LADY MONKEY is on a double DVD with another martial arts movie. You've been warned!

Dead On Release

D.O.A.: DEAD OR ALIVE-2006-This martial arts fantasy comedy drama is based on a popular video game. It's about a bunch of dorks who are invited to a martial arts tournament (D.O.A.). The three main characters are female: a pro-wrestler (Jamie Pressly), an assassin (Holly Valance) and a princess (Devon Aoki) who's looking for her brother (Collin Chou), said to have been killed in the last D.O.A. The guy who runs the thing is played by Eric Roberts. There's a lot of swordplay and fights using CGI and “Jet Li wires”. (The director Corey Yuen made several movies with Li) Kane Kosugi plays a friend of the princess and pro-wrestler Kevin Nash is in it. There's a lot of smart ass jokes and dialogue and most of the men getting beat up by the women. Robin Shou from the MORTAL KOMBAT movies appears briefly as a pirate. 

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