Martial Arts Vs. Vampires

 

 (themoviedatabase)

LEGEND OF THE SEVEN GOLDEN VAMPIRES-1974-Transylvania 1804. A guy named Kan (Shen Chan) who once presided over the 7 Golden Vampires visits Dracula's castle to ask the king of vampires to help him resurrect the group. Dracula (John Forbes-Robinson) has a better idea. He possesses Kan's “image” and decides to resurrect the 7 himself. After the credits, in Chung King 100 years later, Prof. Van Helsing (who else but Peter Cushing) lectures on the Seven Vampires and his encounters with Dracula. The “sophisticated” Chinese students ridicule him but one student Hsi Ching (David Chiang) visits the professor at night to apol-ogize. He definitely believes in the legend as his grandfather destroyed one of the vampires. He wants Van Helsing to accompany him and his 6 brothers to the village where the remaining 6 vampires rule. Meanwhile, Van Helsing's son Leland (Robin Stewart) gets into trouble with local gangster Leung Hon, when he agrees to escort widowed world traveler Vanessa Buren (Julie Ege) home. They are saved by 2 of Hsi's brothers. Vanessa agrees to finance their expedition provided she's allowed to go. Under the protests of the elder Van Helsing, she is allowed. 

Right off the bat, they are attacked by Hon's gang. The brothers (each has a specialty) plus their lone sister Mei Kwei (Szu Shih) defeat the gang and Hon gets an arrow through his neck. Later, in the village, the group battles the remaining 6 vampires and their undead army. They destroy 3 more then get ready for a final showdown. There's a big violent martial arts battle that ends tragically for some. After the final vampire is put down, Van Helsing meets his arch enemy. Dracula's disintegration scene seems longer than their actual battle. 

This has a little of everything: martial arts, weapons, vampires, walking dead, nudity, dismemberment. No classic but not the shit show it is sometimes described as. However, this was Hammer co-production with The Shaw Brothers studio and there were a lot of “communication prob-lems” between the two directors on the film, the English Roy Ward Baker and the Chinese Cheh Chang. A sequel was planned but poor box office performance shelved that idea.

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Nightmare

 

 (asiancult.com)

THE NIGHTMARE OF GIRL'S DORM-2009-A college student Ran stays behind in her dorm after everyone leaves at the end of the semester. Only one other student stays (plus the house mother and a guard). The mysterious Wu Xia gives Ran a bracelet. It's said that during the off time the dorm is haunted by a girl who hanged herself. Ran is also pregnant by one of her teachers. She starts to see and hear strange things. Later her roommate Tong returns and tries to help. Wu performs a ritual to contact the ghost. Later it seems the ghost is terrorizing Ran but there are a couple of twists in this strange but not original ghost/horror from China, directed by Fu Yicong.

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Hey Lady Ninja!

 

 (imdb)

THE CHALLENGE OF THE LADY NINJA-1983-In this Chinese martial arts story, set during the Japanese occupation of Shanghai, Wu (Hui Sang Yang) is the only woman ninja in her Japanese clan. She's a good fighter and a master of illusions. At one point, when trapped by 4 ninjas, she turns into a scantily clad dancer which mesmerizes her foes into dropping their swords, then she blows them up! Her sensei promotes her to full ninja but one student Kuroda (Kang Peng) objects because she's Chinese and China is at war with Japan. When she returns home to China she learns her father has been killed by her fiancee Ki, who is now working for the evil Japanese. She convinces 3 local women to help and they go after Ki's 4 bodyguards. There's a couple of twists to the story leading to a showdown between Wu and Kuroda. 

Crazy mixed up but entertaining martial arts movie from director Tso Nam Lee who made (DEADLY) LIFE OF NINJA the same year in Taiwan,

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Another Fine Mess (of a movie)

 

 (bestbuy.com)

NINJA DEATH-1987-Two brothers protect a princess and her baby from some ninjas. The ninja leader kills one of the brothers and the princess commits suicide. The other brother escapes with the baby. Then two ninjas fight each other in front of a red light. Then an oiled muscular guy jumps around. He fights the two ninjas then a female ninja shows up and decapitates one of the ninjas. She and the muscular guy fight an old guy in a gold jumpsuit and someone in a horned mask. Then it jumps to Tiger (Alexander Rei Lo), a hawker outside a bordello who has a lot of stupid conversations about sex with would be clients. He has a few fights after a Japanese whorehouse opens up next door. He goes to his "master" who beats him up then puts him through some torturous training. Meanwhile the old guy plays a flute and the guy in the horned mask goes crazy killing two fighters. Later Tiger's master tells him about ninjas. 3 show up and so does the horned guy called "Devil Mask". There's lots of dumb dubbed dialogue, a guy spits on a baby and two bizarre sex scenes but the fights are pretty good! Uncredited director Joseph Kuo also made two sequels.

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More Shaw

CLAN OF THE AMAZONS-1978-In this Shaw brothers production a detective (Tony Liu) searches for “The Embroidery Killer”, an assassin who blinds his victims with needles. The detective teams up with the daughter of one of the victims to find the mysterious “Red Shoes Gang”. Guess why they're called that. Great fights but too much talk. 

Director Yuen Chor also made THE WEB OF DEATH, DEATH DUEL and over hundred more films!

https://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2018/08/the-shaw-brothers-strike-again.html

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AKA 7 GUARDIANS.

7 GUARDIANS OF THE TOMB-2018-The CEO (Kelsey Grammar) of a large pharmaceutical company leads an expedition to find an ancient elixir that extends life. He'd send out two guys earlier but after finding a secret chamber only one came back. His group includes Jia (Bingbing Li; THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM, TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION), a venom expert looking for her missing brother, the survivor of the pair who went first and Jack (Kellan Lutz; THE LEGEND OF HERCULES), a dumb ass macho guy. The group is menaced by poisonous spiders along the way. 

This Chinese Australian co-production has mediocre acting, a bad script and terrible SFX. Director Kimble Rendall also made CUT. My review is here:

 https://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2015/09/down-under-murder.html

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Shanghai Chan

CHARLIE CHAN IN SHANGHAI-1935-Charlie Chan (Warner Oland) visits “the land of my ancestors” for the first time in many years to see his friend Sir Stanley (David Torrance). He’s  met at the dock by Stanley's secretary Nash (Jon Hall using his real name Charles Locher) and his niece Diana (Irene Hervey). Chan also hooks up with number 1 son Lee (Keye Luke). Unfortunately at the dinner Stanley is shot and killed by a wooden case rigged with a gun. Police inspector Watkins (Halliwell Hobbes) agrees to let Charlie investigate the death of his old friend. At night while Chan and Lee are sleeping an attempt to kill Chan fails. Later Chan is kidnapped by some mysterious bad guys but number one son saves him. An American secret agent Andrews (Russell Hicks)  explains to Chan that that he and Sir Stanley were working on breaking up an opium ring and wanted Chan’s help. Meanwhile Nash snoops around very suspiciously. After Nash is arrested for attempted murder, Chan's life is threatened several more times until he tricks the gang and reveals their real leader.

 One of the best in the series with son Lee doing a lot of fighting! 

Director James Tinling also made MR. MOTO'S GAMBLE.
 https://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2016/01/mr-moto-returns-again.html

Followed by CHARLIE CHAN'S SECRET.

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Jackie Chan is Back

THE ACCIDENTAL SPY-2001-A fitness equipment salesman in China named Buck (Jackie Chan) inherits a fortune from his biological Korean father but becomes involved with the search for a powerful new drug and a war between Turkish and Chinese drug lords. This has the usual great semi-comic fights but is a lot more serious and violent than most of Chan's earlier US releases. A real crazy but kind of typical scene (at least for a Jackie Chan movie) has him fighting nude in a mall! The superb climactic ending features a flaming gas truck. Director Teddy Chan (no relation to the star) had been an actor, production assistant and wrote BLACK MASK with Jet Li.

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Savage Shaw Brothers

THE SAVAGE FIVE-1974-Shaw Bros martial arts period piece (directed by Chen Chang) obviously inspired by The Magnificent Seven. When bandits take over a peaceful town three locals (David Chiang, Ti Lung and Chen Kuang-tai) and a thief (Danny Lee) band together to fight them. They do alright at first but then the bandits' boss arrives with a revolver and it's a little harder. Eventually they kill all the bandits but die in the process.

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Swords

THE SENTIMENTAL SWORDSMAN-1977-Flying Dagger Lee (Ti Lung; later in John Woo's A BETTER TOMORROW and Sngmoo Lee's THE WARRIOR'S WAY) is a swordsman who's code of honor has cost to him a lot including giving up his fiance to a rival who saved his life. Now he wanders the countryside with his faithful servant while drowning his sorrows in wine. Along the way he befriends Ah Fei (Tung-Shing Yee) and becomes embroiled in many situations including being poisoned and coming into the possession of a golden vest. Later while looking for the elusive Plum Blossom Bandit he's framed for murder and is marked for death by  the 5 Poisons Kid. The plot is sometimes confusing but there's plenty of action and fights. It's based on a series of novels and spawned 2 sequels all directed by Yuen Chor (WEB OF DEATH).

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Revenge

THE THUNDERBOLT FIST (Pi li quan)-1972-In feudal times, a Japanese gang takes over a Chinese village. After a town elder beats their leader (James Nam) in a fight, the gang kills him. His son (Chuan Yuan) escapes and hides out with his uncle and trains with his female cousin (Shilh Szu; later in THE LEGEND OF THE 7 GOLDEN VAMPIRES). 10 years later, he's grown up to be a revenge seeking young man. He returns to his old village but his childhood rival spreads rumors that he's having an affair with a woman married to his friend. Later he is maimed and has to fight with one arm. After the villagers finally fight back he fights his Japanese rival in a bloody contest and wins. 

This Shaw Brothers production was directed by the Korean born Il-Ho Jang and was released a few months before the more famous KING BOXER (aka 5 FINGERS OF DEATH) which began the martial arts craze in the US....

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8 Drunks

 

KUNG-FU OF THE EIGHT DRUNKARDS-1980-More inebriated Kung-Fu hi-jinx. An alcoholic martial arts master, Wu Tseng tries to teach his student Chan Kung (Meng Fei). After some fool who looks radiation scarred causes trouble with some firecrackers Chan Kung meets another fighter named Monkey Thief. They fight in an “8 Immortals Style” tournament. Kung becomes a waiter and that seems to help improve his Kung-Fu but he gets beaten up anyway. When some idiots refuse to pay their check a woman named Pie Yu beats them up. Meanwhile a mysterious figure in black hangs around in the background. There's more plot but it gets very confusing (probably due to the bad dubbing and editing) but there is some intense training sessions for Chan Kung and most of the fights are humorous (despite the serious story line) until the finale which is very violent but it all ends comically.

Director Ma Wu (the word director is spelled wrong on the print I saw) was also a busy actor as well as directing over 40 martial arts films (including WU TANG CLAN and ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA).

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Swords and Stuff

YELLOW RIVER FIGHTER-1988-In China, "a thousand years ago", 3 warlords fight for supremacy.
a great swordsman fails to protect his daughter who is killed by one of the warlords. He goes on a drunken spree and is befriended/exploited by a magician/con-artist who has him do a "drunken sword dance" but another warlord has some of his men poison the swordsman. He doesn't die but instead goes blind. Later the third warlord King Quan (who's life the swordsman saved earlier) takes in the swordsman and the con-artist. He helps the swordsman open a fighting school. Even though he seems nice he sends assassins (in cool masks) to kill the remaining warlord King Lee and his daughter Jen-Jen. After some deceitful tricks by Quan, the swordsman is forced to kill Lee (who has an awesome fighting weapon) because he thinks his daughter's dead. The final showdown takes place in a monastery during a lightening storm and on a cliff near a raging waterfall.

This historical drama (with some comedy) has great sword battles but is brought down somewhat by the con artist character's constant whining and the badly dubbed voices. Director Hsin-yen Chang also made DEADEND BESIEGERS.

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Jackie Chan

THE INVINCIBLE FIGHTER:THE JACKIE CHAN STORY-1996?-A narrator tells us about Jacky (Jackie) Chan (born Chan Yuen Long) becoming the new Bruce Lee, a Kung-Fu international star. The movie highlights 10 movies featuring Chan. The narrator also explains about the 18 fighting styles and weapons used. Then scenes from "CUB TIGER FROM KWANTUNG, SPIRITUAL KUNG-FU, THE FEARLESS HYENA and others (mostly directed by Wei Lo) are shown with the narrator explaining some of the action. The sub-titles have lots of mistakes and are sometimes out of sync with the action. Also a scene that's suppose to depict Chan's training is actually a scene from a movie!

Despite all that it's worth seeing for the stunts and styles especially if you're a Jackie Chan fan. I'm not sure of the year it was made or who directed. It recently came out on DVD.

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More Fu

DEADEND BESEIGERS-1992-A Japanese martial artist named Wuwechimatao (Chinese actor Rongguang Yu from IRON MONKEY; recently in THE KARATE KID remake) travels to China to learn Chinese kung-fu. When he gets there he realizes the boat he's been on is actually a pirate ship who's crew have come to plunder a village. He saves a little girl and the pirates try to kill him. When one of the villagers gives him a bone to gnaw on he thanks them in Japanese so they think he's one of the pirates and beat him up. The little girl saves his ass several times, hides him in a cave, gives him food and teaches him Chinese (the first phrase she teaches him is "I am a son of a bitch"!). Later he meets the little girl's sister Cui Gu (Cynthia Khan) who is a master of the dog fist style of kung-fu. A flashback reveals why he came to China. He was beaten up and humiliated by "a foreigner" (real martial arts champion Dale Cook, who's hilarious) dressed like a cross between one of the Dutch Masters and Little Lord Flaunteroy. He considers suicide but is told by a Shaolin monk to go to China. Cui Gu agrees to teach him. After some training he overhears some of the pirates plotting to steal a treasure but the villagers beat him up and almost behead him! They nail him shut in a coffin (although this is actually done to save him). Later he convinces the whole village to fight the pirates. As usual the finale (in a burning warehouse) is great!

Also known as DEADEND OF BESEIGERS.

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Quick Review On A Cold Day

SEVENTH MOON-2008-This horror tale from Eduardo Sanchez the co-director of THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT is marred by herky-jerky camera work and some scenes that are just too dark to see. 

A Chinese guy named Yul and his American wife Melisa (Amy Smart) are honeymooning in the China countryside when their car breaks down and their driver disappears during "the hungry ghost festival". No one in the small town they come upon wants to help them. With good reason! Weird creatures from hell are after the living! It starts off well but quickly goes down hill due mostly to the weak story line and aforementioned shaky camera and bad lighting. 

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Karate kid? He's learning Kung-Fu!

THE KARATE KID-2010-A 12 year old boy (Jaden Smith, right after another remake THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL) and his mom (Taraji P. Henson, later a regular on TV's PERSON OF INTEREST) move to China where he encounters language problems and very violent bullies who know Kung-Fu. He meets a cute local girl but gets beat up very badly by the martial arts bullies. He's saved by his apartment's handyman Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) who decides to teach him "real Kung-Fu". He trains a lot and absorbs the cultural and philosophical aspects of his new home and the art he is learning. Later he competes in a tournament where he has to fight most of his tormentors.

I won't tell you what happens but do you think if your Dad was the executive producer of a movie you were starring in would you lose the big fight in the climax? I found the first half of this movie very slow going. Also everyone might think Will's boy was a cute wise guy but I found him rather bratty and way to small to be taken seriously as a fighter no matter who trains him.

In the second half the story picks up (after Mr. Han's past demons are revealed) but the final battle is too over the top. Still Chan is very good in the serious role.

Director Harald Zwart had previously made ONE NIGHT AT MCCOOL'S, THE PINK PANTHER 2 and AGENT CODY BANKS.

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Jet For The Defense!

BORN TO DEFENSE-1986-Star/director Jet Li plays a Chinese soldier turned rickshaw driver at the end of WW2. It’s kind of a throw back to the Shaw Bros. of the ’70’s with dumb dubbed dialogue and Li’s persistent fights with snotty abusive foreigners (mostly American sailors). A battle between Jet and a much bigger “no good Yankee” eventually turns into something resembling a hardcore wrestling match. When the evil racist Americans kill his best friend and would be girlfriend he’s arrested and beaten up by the police. He vows revenge and gets it.

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