Father Fritz

 

 (imdb)

JAWS OF SATAN-1981-In a small Alabama town, Evelyn, a modern-day witch (Diana Douglas) tells a disillusioned priest Father Tom (Fritz Weaver), the devil is after him. Meanwhile, a satanic snake slithers around killing people. A local doctor (Gretchen Corbett) calls in a herpetologist (Jon Korkes, a terrible actor) to look at some toxic corpses. The priest consults his monsignor (Norman Lloyd) who clues him in on what's happening. A crazy cursed druid is to blame, an ancestor of Tom's. 

The whole story is kind of murky and there are some unintentional laughs. This is one of the few feature films directed by Bob Claver, a busy TV director. It also features Christina Applegate from TV's “Married With Children” in her first role.

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Gorilla Love

 

 (imdb)

BRIDE OF THE GORILLA-1951-Somewhere along the Amazon, Klaas Van Gilder (Paul Cavanaugh) and his unhappy wife Dina (Barbara Payton) are having troubles. Their doctor Viet (Tom Conway) tries to help but foreman Barney Chavez (pre-Godzilla & Perry Mason Raymond Burr) lusts after Dina. After Barney is fired, he kills Van Gilder by having a snake bite him. With hubby out of the way, Barney and Dina plan to run away. Law officer Taro (Lon Chaney) investigates. After Barney is exonerated of the murder, he and Dina get married but Van Gilder's servant Al-Long (Gisela Werbisek) puts a curse on him and he turns into a gorilla. Woody Strode is a policeman.

 It's pretty bad with a lot of talk. One of 9 movies directed by Curt Siodmak, better known as a writer and novelist (Donovan's Brain). He and Chaney would work again on the TV series 13 Demon Street (and the movie made from it, THE DEVIL'S MESSENGER). Star Payton had several scandals connected to her and later had several brushes with the law. She died in 1967 at the age of 39.

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Ribbit!

 

 (imdb)

FROGS-1972-Photographer Pickett Smith (Sam Elliot) is nearly run down in his boat by beer guzzling speed boat riding Clint Crockett (Adam Roarke) and his sister Karen (Joan Van Ark). They invite Smith to their granddaddy's estate that's being overrun by frogs. Gramps (Ray Milland), is a self-righteous SOB who seems bothered by his whole family. While exploring the island, Smith finds the dead body of a worker. The frogs seem to be taking over. Snakes and salamanders too. A particularly gruesome scene is the death of gramps' flaky butterfly collecting sister-in-law Iris (Hollis Irving) by leeches. Her husband is done in by a crocodile. 

Although there is death and aggressive animals all around, Gramps wants to continue with the 4th of July festivities. Everyone is eventually killed except for Smith, Karen and grandkids. Gramps regrets his decision to stay behind. The frogs don't kill anyone (despite the famous movie poster) but it seems like they are in charge.

This eco-horror from AIP is mostly talk with a death thrown in once in a while. The ecology and "nature fights back" themes were very popular in the 1970's. Director George McCowan worked mainly in TV but also directed THE MAGNIFCENT SEVEN RIDE! the same year as FROGS. He later made THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME (1979).

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Robot vs. Mummy!

 

THE ROBOT VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY-1958-The narrator tries to say it's based on a true story. Dr. Diaz and Dr. Estelle visit the home of Dr. Amalda (Ramon Gay) and his wife Flor (Rosita Arenas). Also there is Amalda's assistant Picante (Crox Alva-rado). Once settled Amalda relates the story of an Aztec breastplate and bracelet to his guests. He tells about the time he gave a lecture on regressing past lives through hypnotism that was not well received. Depressed he hypnotized Flor and learned her past life was as an Aztec queen named Xochtil. She and her warrior lover Popoca decide to elope but are caught by some priests and after a big singing and dancing ceremony Xochtil is sacrificed and Popoca is buried alive and cursed to watch over her tomb forever. 

Accompanying her are the breastplate and bracelet that tell where some ancient Aztec treasure is buried. It's also mentioned that a guy at Amalda's lecture Dr. Krupp (Luis Aceves Casteneda) has turned into a bad guy now called “The Bat” who knows all about the “regression experiment”. In another flashback Almalda and Flor and some others visit an ancient tomb where they find the breastplate on Xochtil's skeletal remains but without the bracelet they can't find the treasure. Undaunted by a warning they find, Almalda, Picante and Flor's father Dr. Sepulveda (Jorge Mondragon) go back to the tomb. Not so lucky this time, they run into the walking mummy that is now Popoca (Angel Di Stefani). They hold him at bay with their flashlights and escape. Later Popoca tries to sacrifice Flor but is stopped by Sepulveda who uses a cross to hold off the mummy. He then sacrifices his own life to save his friends and keep the mummy entombed. Dr. Krupp manages to kidnap poor Flor and her daughter and get the sacred items. He forces Almada to translate the hieroglyphics that will lead to the treasure. Just when Krupp is ready to kill the family Popoca bursts in. He knocks down Krupp's henchman Tierno (Arturo Martinez), (who winds up with an acid scarred face) and throws The Bat into a pit of snakes. However when Almalda returns the next day with the police they discover Krupp escaped through a hidden door! 

Then Krupp and Tierno once again kidnap Flor (she's under The Bat's hypnotism) and find the mummy. When Almada and Picante find a dead body, radium and that a large amount of metal has been stolen they suspect The Bat is back! After Almada and Picante are captured by Tierno and brought to Krupp, he introduces them to his great creation, a “human robot” (Aldolfo Rojas), a big clunky cartoonish metal thing with a human head inside the frame that can disintegrate with it's claws. Krupp wants the robot to kill Popoca, so they all go off to the cemetery. When the robot and the mummy go at it, it seems the robot is getting the better of Popoca. Almada arrives with the police and shoots the control box Krupp uses. After that the mummy trashes the robot and kills Krupp and Tierno. Flor gives the breastplate and bracelet back to Popoca who, screaming, goes back to his tomb. This third and final segment of the Aztec mummy trilogy is also a compilation of the entire series as all the flashbacks are scenes from the previous entries.

Thanks for reading! Happy Pi Day!

AKA 7 GUARDIANS.

7 GUARDIANS OF THE TOMB-2018-The CEO (Kelsey Grammar) of a large pharmaceutical company leads an expedition to find an ancient elixir that extends life. He'd send out two guys earlier but after finding a secret chamber only one came back. His group includes Jia (Bingbing Li; THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM, TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION), a venom expert looking for her missing brother, the survivor of the pair who went first and Jack (Kellan Lutz; THE LEGEND OF HERCULES), a dumb ass macho guy. The group is menaced by poisonous spiders along the way. 

This Chinese Australian co-production has mediocre acting, a bad script and terrible SFX. Director Kimble Rendall also made CUT. My review is here:

 https://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2015/09/down-under-murder.html

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S Seven Times

SSSSSSS!-1973-A scientist working with snakes, Dr. Stoner (Strother Martin) hires college student David (Dirk Benidict) to help him with his experiments after his original helper "quit suddenly". When not experimenting with his reptilian pets Stoner gives exhibitions with a king cobra assisted by his daughter Kristina (Heather Menzies). Stoner of course has an ulterior motive in his hiring of the cheerful David. He wants to turn him into an intelligent king cobra!  While David and Kristina kind of fall in love, Stoner gets revenge on a college bully (Reb Brown) who killed his pet snake and a former colleague (Richard B. Schull) who discovers his secret. In the confused abrupt climax: Kristina discovers dad's former assistant is now a serpent man in a side show run by Tim O'Connor. David turns into a real snake. Stoner seems to want it to fight the real king cobra but he's bitten to death. The sheriff (Jack Ging) shoots the cobra. David-snake is killed by a mongoose. Kristina arrives too late to do anything and upon seeing her beloved mangled by the mongoose lets out a scream which is freeze framed for the final scene.

S X7 isn't bad and it's helped by the great character actor Strother Martin in the lead role. The story doesn't make a whole lot of sense especially when at one point Stoner warns his daughter not to have sex with David when it's already apparent they have. This little tidbit seems forgotten later. He doesn't elaborate on it so maybe Kristina may become a snake herself. We'll never know...

Director Bernard Kowalski used real venomous snakes which had the cast rather nervous. Probably the worst thing about the movie is the title!

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Dyn-o-mIte

THE DYNAMITE BROTHERS-1974-Larry Chin (Alan Tang) leaves Hong Kong to find his brother in LA. He's immediately attacked by 3 thugs ("Go back to China") hired by a corrupt police Captain Burke (Aldo Ray). Larry winds up handcuffed to a black criminal Stud Brown (Timothy Brown). They escape and run around like a low budget version of THE DEFIANT ONES. They beat up some hicks in a moving truck and finally get free and head to LA. Larry has flashbacks of his wife's death. The duo get saved by local gangster The Smiling Man (Don Oliver) from an attack by Razor J (Al Richardson), the henchman of big time time drug pusher Wei Chin (James Hong). Hmmm...Larry and Wei have the same last name...coincidence? 

 While Stud romances a mute prostitute Sarah (Carol Speed from THE BIG BIRD CAGE) Larry gets help from Betty Fong (Clare Nono) in tracking down his brother who he finds out is dead. However Larry is betrayed by Kung Fat (Richard Lee-Sung) and dropped in a pit with a rattlesnake. Meanwhile a gang war ensues with corrupt police, outrageously dressed guys with machine guns, explosions and a guy who yells really loud when he's shot and falls off a roof. While Stud has sex, Larry fights some guys in an alley. After Razor kills Burke and his wife Laura (Susan McIver) he goes after Sarah (he's too stupid to realize she can't talk). Stud and Larry arrive too late to save her but Stud gets revenge. Larry infiltrates Wei's lair and of course finds out the truth: Wei is Larry's brother and responsible for the death of Larry's wife. While The Smiling Man's minions beat up the gang Larry goes after his bro and makes his car go off a cliff. It ends with a freeze frame of the pair running away (to where I wonder?).

THE DYNAMITE BROTHERS was directed by Al Adamson in his usual hasty, episodic way. It's not very exciting but it has a lot of familiar faces to hold your interest a little while. Since this is an Independent International release it played in re-release for many years under numerous titles including STUD BROWN, DYNAMITE BROWN, BLACK BELT BROTHERS, etc. At the time this was made star Tang was a very popular star in Hong Kong. Co-star Brown was a former football player who earlier had a reoccurring role in the first season of TV's MASH. A few years later he had a role in Robert Altman's NASHVILLE. He'd work again with Adamson in 1976's BLACK HEAT.

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Rattlers

 RATTLERS-1976-After two kids are killed by rattlesnakes in The Mojave Desert, the local sheriff calls in Dr. Parkinson (Sam Chew), a rattlesnake expert from the nearby college. He's joined by Ann (Elizabeth Chauvet), a female photographer and they argue about women's lib. The snakes attack a family farm, a repairman and then a lady taking a bath. CT-3, a nerve gas is to blame after an army colonel exposed some snakes to it. A hand grenade seems to spell the end of the serpentine killers....or does it? 

This boring typical “nature gone crazy” horror was made by co-writer/director John McCauley who years later made another horror movie DEADLY INTRUDER. 

Personal note: I had once considered calling this blog CT-3.....Thanks for reading....

Jekyll & Hyde

THE TWO FACES OF DR. JEKYLL-1960-In 1847 London Henry Jekyll (Paul Massie) is a disgraced doctor trying to discover "man as he would be". He's a loner who ignores his wife Kitty (Dawn Addams who was in Lang's THE 1000 EYES OF DR. MABUSE' the same year) and experiments on a monkey. Meanwhile Kitty is carrying on an affair with Jekyll's neer do well friend Paul (Christopher Lee). Somehow bearded, long haired, weird looking Jekyll becomes clean shaven, handsome Mr. Hyde who goes dancing and sees Paul and Kitty enjoying themselves. He dances with the unsuspecting  Kitty and nearly kills a dance hall bully(un-billed Oliver Reed). Later after making it with a snake charmer Hyde goes on a wild romp (including opium smoking) with Paul. Then extracting his revenge he sics the snake on Paul. When Kitty sees her illicit lover dead she fails to her own death. Hyde then strangles the snake charmer. Just when it seems like Hyde will literally get away with murder he reverts to Jekyll and dies.

Many times "new" interpretations of classic stories turn out to be boring and uninspired. Not so with Hammer's TWO FACES which thanks to the master of British horror Terence Fisher becomes an interesting and thought provoking take on Stevenson's Jekyll/Hyde story line. The acting and direction are excellent. The major flaw is the weird transformation of Hyde from Jekyll. Screenwriter Wolf Mankowitz later wrote the 1967 version of CASINO ROYALE. Director Fisher made BRIDES OF DRACULA and SWORD OF SHERWOOD FOREST the same year. Lee, who would later star in another Jekyll & Hyde film I, MONSTER  made CITY OF THE DEAD (HORROR HOTEL) the same year.

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Snakes Are A Pain

Cool poster though!

SNAKES ON A PLANE-2006-I guess this movie is kind of a set-up. There’s a lot of cliched characters and everything goes from bad to worse. A guy (Nathan Phillips) in Hawaii witnesses a mobster killing a lawyer. Agent Samuel L. Jackson convinces him to go to LA to testify. The mobster knows this and sabotages the plane having snakes released during the flight. Really!

There’s a lot of stupid character build up (a guy who hates flying, a rapper who doesn’t liked to be touched, a grouchy Englishman, air head blonde with a dog) leading up to the snake attack but when the reptiles attack they come out of everywhere. Passengers are bitten on the neck, the eye, the mouth and one guy gets it while urinating (I don’t have to tell you what body part do I?). Fortunately Jackson keeps most of them at bay with a tazer! Julianna Margulies plays a stewardess.

Director David R. Ellis was a former stuntman who also made FINAL DESTINATION 2.

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