Strange '60's Thing...

SCARE THEIR PANTS OFF!-1968-A woman is attacked on the street at night. She is saved by a guy who takes her home and then drugs her. She wakes up in a chair where someone in an iron mask and hood talks to her in a Darth Vader like voice. They have sex while the guy who rescued her watches from another room. When the dude takes off his mask his face looks like it was smeared with oatmeal. After the girl faints it's revealed his scarred face was a mask too. Later in a diner, the guy puts something in a woman's drink and she passes out. The guy pretends to be a doctor and somehow the woman wind ups where the previous one was. Only this time the other guy is wearing a fake wig and mustache and a toga talking about a sacrifice to their god. The other guy comes out and does a really weird dance before raping her. Later they drug another woman in a taxi and submit her to a Nazi like interrogation. 

Apparently the two idiots kidnap the women to play out stupid fantasies and then pack them in the back seat of a car send them off to The Statue of Liberty! They go off to plan their next kidnapping. The End. Most of this has the feel of a depraved unfunny comedy short. Filmed in NYC by writer/director John Maddox who also worked on the music documentary MONTEREY POP. Producer Ronald Sullivan went on to make hundreds of porno movies (sometimes under the name Henri Pachard).

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Day The Day The Movie Re-make Ended....

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL-2008-This movie really sucks! Anyone associated with this piece of shit should not be allowed to even make a movie again (except James Hong, one of the last character actors left in Hollywood who has one scene).

Since she won an Oscar Jennifer Connelly is becoming a female Orson Welles.

Keanu Reeves is perfect and idiotic as the alien who comes to destroy Earth. He lacks any of the class Michael Rennie brought to the original role but then what the hell am I saying? Audiences today don’t even realize this is a remake (which it is not anyway…). Please do me a favor and don’t watch this piece of crap (and if you do don’t tell me how wonderful and rewarding it is by watching it, ok?).

Wooo, John Cleese has the Sam Jaffe role! Maybe he and Keanu should have done something with a dead parrot instead!

Director Scott Derrickson had previously made such gems as HELLRAISER:INFERNO and THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE. Oh yeah Will Smith’s son and Kathy Bates are also in it!

Sorry for the rant..thanks for reading it though!





　



　

American Idle

IDLE HANDS-1999-A stupid teenager's hand (Devon Sawa) becomes possessed and kills people against his will. He kills his parents (Fred Williard and Connie Ray) and then his 2 best friends (but they come back to life and try and help him). A young Jennifer Alba is his next door neighbor. After many crazy battles with his own hand, he chops it off and it goes on it's own and kills people at a costume party. A woman (Vivica A. Fox) has a knife that can kill it. There's a lot of imaginative scenes and some gore but I would have liked it better if the leads in this horror comedy hadn't been pot smoking slacker idiots.

The director Rodman Flender also made LEPRECHAUN 2 and lots of TV episodes. According to IMDB he was once head of Roger Corman's Concorde Pictures.

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Snakes Are A Pain

Cool poster though!

SNAKES ON A PLANE-2006-I guess this movie is kind of a set-up. There’s a lot of cliched characters and everything goes from bad to worse. A guy (Nathan Phillips) in Hawaii witnesses a mobster killing a lawyer. Agent Samuel L. Jackson convinces him to go to LA to testify. The mobster knows this and sabotages the plane having snakes released during the flight. Really!

There’s a lot of stupid character build up (a guy who hates flying, a rapper who doesn’t liked to be touched, a grouchy Englishman, air head blonde with a dog) leading up to the snake attack but when the reptiles attack they come out of everywhere. Passengers are bitten on the neck, the eye, the mouth and one guy gets it while urinating (I don’t have to tell you what body part do I?). Fortunately Jackson keeps most of them at bay with a tazer! Julianna Margulies plays a stewardess.

Director David R. Ellis was a former stuntman who also made FINAL DESTINATION 2.

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