Dr. Seuss

 

 (imdb)

THE 5000 FINGERS OF DR. T.-1953-Little Bart (Tommy Rettig) doesn't like this piano teacher, the dictatorial Dr. Terwilliker (the often under-appreciated Hans Conried). His mother (Mary Healy) lectures him about his lesson. Only their plumber, Mr. Zabladowski (Peter Lind Hayes) seems to understand Bart’s plight. When Bart falls asleep, he dreams he's in Terwilliker's “institute” where the doc plans on having 250 students play on a huge sprawling piano. And after the recital, Dr. T is going to marry his secretary, Bart's mom! Fortunately, Mr. Zabladowski is there too. Although the plumber and Dr. T seem to become friends, the doctor wants to disintegrate him. Bart finds a dungeon where T plans to put all instruments except the piano. 

This is a pretty unique musical fantasy that's probably not for everyone. Renowned kids author Theodor Geisel aka Dr. Seuss wrote the story, screenplay and song lyrics. It is the only live action movie he ever wrote and wasn't pleased with the finished product. When it bombed at a preview several musical numbers were cut (the footage is lost but the songs are available on CD). Still, it didn't do well but has since become a cult film. 

The production was also marred by infighting between producer Stanley Kramer and Columbia studio head Sam Cohn. Stars Hayes and Healy were married in real life. The next year Rettig would star on the TV show “Lassie” for four years. Conried starred in Arch Obler's bizarre satire THE TWONKY the same year. Journeyman director Roy Rowland later worked on the “Wyatt Earp” TV series and made THE GIRL HUNTERS (1963) (where author Mickey Spillane played his own creation Mike Hammer).

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I Am The Goblin King

 

 (imdb)

LABYRINTH-1986-A lonely girl Sarah (Jennifer Connelly), who fantasizes about goblins and such wishes her baby brother would be kidnapped by goblins. Her wish comes true and The Goblin King (David Bowie) tells her she has 13 hours to rescue him from the labyrinth. She meets lots of wacky Muppets, some who seem to be talking Monty Python inspired dialogue (Terry Jones wrote the original script). 

Bowie sings a song backed by his Muppet horde. And there's other musical numbers and a chaotic battle. In the end Sara must find a way to rescue little bro from the MC Escher inspired labyrinth. 

This imaginative musical fantasy is a combination of music, puppets and sfx directed by Muppets creator Jim Henson who had their own TV show from 1976-1981. Connelly was in Dario Argento's PHENOMENA the year before this.

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Russia Legend

 

 (imdb)

THE SWORD AND THE DRAGON-1956-This tale is based on a legend. Ivan (Boris Andreyev), a man crippled since birth watches helplessly as the Tugars, a barbarian horde rape, pillage and burn. Some travelers give Ivan a magic elixir that restores him and he becomes a mighty warrior dedicating his life to defending his homeland and defeating the Tugars. After battling and capturing a wind demon and assembling a group of fighting friends, his pregnant wife is kidnapped. Tugar leader Kalin (Shukur Burkhanov) wants to make her his bride but she rebuffs him. 

Instead, he takes her son Little Falcon and raises him as a Tugar. Later Ivan and his son meet on the battlefield and Ivan shows his son what's going down. They join forces and have to battle a three headed dragon in the finale. 

The Russian color fantasy is based on poems about the knight Iiya Muromets. Roger Corman got a hold of it a few years after it was made and had it re-edited, changing some names and having news journalist Mike Wallace do some new narration and Paul Frees dub some voices. The director Aleksandr Ptushko also made another fantasy adventure around this time, THE DAY THE EARTH FROZE.

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Stan & Ollie in Toyland

 

 (wikipedia)

MARCH OF THE WOODEN SOLDIERS-1934-In Toyland, whose occupants include Mother Goose (Virginia Karns), the three little pigs (one is Angelo Rossitto), Jack Horner and the cat and the fiddle,the repugnant Barnaby (Henry Brandon) wants to make Bo-Peep (Charlotte Henry) his wife. She rebuffs him but Barnaby demands The Widow Peep (Florence Roberts) come up with the rent she doesn't have. Two of her tenants Stannie Dum (Stan Laurel) & Ollie Dee (Oliver Hardy) are toy makers at the local factory. Bo-Peep really likes Tom-Tom (Felix Knight). Santa Claus visits to check out the toy soldiers he ordered but of course Stan got the order wrong and they're fired but not before an errant toy soldier wrecks the place. At one point Stan actually marries Barnaby to stop him from pursuing Bo-Beep! When Barnaby can't get Bo he frames Tom Tom for the murder of one of the pigs. When that doesn't work, he enlists The Boogeymen to conquer Toyland. Scenes of the wooden soldiers coming to life and defeating The Boogeymen is still quite bizarre and unsettling at times. 

As a kid this was a perennial favorite around Thanksgiving. Produced by Hal Roach and based on an operetta by Victor Herbert, two directors are credited: Gus Meins who was also directing “Our Gang” shorts at this time and Charles “Charley” Rogers, a pal of Stan Laurel's, who directed several of their short comedies and later worked with them on THE BOHEIMIAN GIRL.

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Mermaids

 

THE LURE-2015- Bizarre fantasy horror musical about two Warsaw mermaids hired by a sleazy club owner to perform at his place. Blond haired Silver falls in love with the house bass player while dark haired Golden kills and eats men. They form a Euro-trashy punk pop duo called "The Lure". Starts off well but the story becomes confused and full of itself eventually fizzling out. This Polish production was directed by Agnieszka Smoczynska.

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Sinbad

  

(imdb)

THE SEVENTH VOYAGE OF SINBAD-1958-The famous sailor (Kerwin Matthews) and his crew wind up on a mysterious island also the home of the legendary Cyclops. During their encounter they meet magician Sokurah (Torin Thatcher) who has a magic lamp with a boy genie (Richard Eyer from THE INVISIBLE KID a year earlier) inside. They all escape but Sokurah loses his lamp. Also on board Sinbad's ship is his fiancee the princess of Chandra (Kathryn Grant). Her marriage to Sinbad will prevent a war with Baghdad. However Sokurah wants his lamp back. 

Sinbad refuses to return to the island. At a pre-wedding celebration Sokurah transforms the princess's lady in waiting into a snake woman and shrinks the princess and forces Sinbad and crew to return to Cyclops island for the lamp and also to get a shell from the egg of a giant bird the Roc. After killing the Cyclops Sinbad and his group encounter a dragon and a skeleton warrior. Another cyclops even shows up. All of it courtesy of the great Ray Harryhausen and his “Dynamation” stop motion process.

 Director Nathan Juran had worked with Harryhausen earlier on the classic 20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH and must have liked this assignment better than the low budget horror movie he made the same year (ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMEN) as he used a pseudonym (Nathan Hertz) on that one!

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Corman In Argentina

 

 (IMDB)

WARRIORS OF THE LOST KINGDOM-1985-A young sorcerer Simon (Vidal Peterson) sees his king and father killed and his kingdom destroyed. His princess girlfriend Aura (Dolores Michaels) is imprisoned. Simon is given a magical ring that transports him and his hairy companion Colfax away but the dummy loses the ring. Along the way he meets drunken smart ass warrior Kor (Bo Svenson) who eventually helps him fight the evil wizard Shurka (Thom Christopher), free his girl and win back his kingdom. 

This was one of seven movies Roger Corman produced and filmed in Argentina. It was written by Ed Naha and directed by Hector Olivera (BARBARIAN QUEEN).

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Ator!

 

 (Wikipedia)

ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE-1982-Sword & Sorcery nonsense with barbarian Ator (Miles O'Keefe; fresh from playing the lead in TARZAN THE APE MAN with Bo Derek) fights Dagar (former Argentinean pro wrestler Dagar), the spider god after he was saved from death by a guy named Griba (Edward Purdom; in PIECES the same year). After he marries his sister Sunya (Ritza Brown) (she's not really his sister, they were just raised together) Dagar kills his adopted parents and kidnaps Sunya. Along the way he meets warrior woman Roon (Sabrina Siani) and sorceress Indun (Laura Gemser; from the “Black Emanuelle” series). 

This Italian production directed by Joe D'Amato (David Hills in US prints) is badly made. Obviously a rush job to cash in on CONAN THE BARBARIAN, although it did spawn a sequel.

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Short But To The Point

  (TCM.com)

THE ERL KING-1931-A man races on horse back through a forest with his dying son but death in the form of the lurking Erl King (elf king) pursues them. This early French sound film (based on a novel Goethe) features crude but effective sfx. It was made in France by Marie-Lousie Iribe, a former actress who formed her own film company and directed her own movies. Highly recommended.

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Merry Christmas!

 

SANTA CLAUS-1959-Out in space Santa Claus (Jose Elias Moreno) sets up a nativity scene, laughs insanely and watches children from all over the world make his toys. Lucifer sends his main man Pitch (Jose' Luis Aguirre) to Earth to make children do evil. Santa has some bizarre machines to help him. One machine has lips and his telescope has a tentacle with an eye on it. Pitch tries to corrupt a cute little girl named Lupita who only wants a doll. She has a “devil influenced” dream where large dolls dance and try to convince her to steal. Besides kids, Santa also gets help from Merlin the magician, a doddering old fool who gives Santa secret sleeping powders and a flower that makes him invisible. The red bearded key maker gives him a key that opens any door. He also has mechanical reindeer that pull his sleigh. Pitch corrupts three brothers who want to kidnap Santa and steal his toys. 

A side story is about a lonely rich kid who only wants to be with his neglectful parents on Christmas eve. Despite losing the sleeping powders and flower and being run up a tree by a dog Santa delivers all his presents and gives Lupita the doll she wanted. Actor/director Rene Cordona made this religious leaning craziness from Mexico.

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Magic From Japan

MAGIC SERPENT-1966-This one starts off with a bang! Ninjas attack a castle and kill the master and everyone else except a small group that rescues the Master’s son. Unfortunately they are attacked by a dragon. Everyone is killed except for the son who is whisked away by a giant serpent. 10 years later, the young son Ichizuchi-Maru (HirokiMatsukata), is under the tutelage of an old man. While out in the forest, ninjas attack and one cuts off his head but he lives on and after interrogating one ninja his head rejoins his body. Then he meets Sunate (Tomoko Ogawa), a woman looking for her father.

 While this is happening the old man is visited by his former pupil, Orochi-Maru (Ryutaru Otomo) who killed Maru’s father. Although the old man is much more powerful than his pupil the pupil tricks his former teacher with a scroll that turns into a snake and kills him. We also learn during their conversation that the pupil can turn into a dragon. Maru and Sunate find the master dying. He gives Maru a scroll for “ninja invisibility” and clues him in on who killed his dad. Maru vows revenge! He and Sunate part ways. She continues the search for her father after her grandma gives her a pin with a spider on it. This fun fantasy from Japan has a little of everything. Underwater ninjas, a giant lizard, magic, sword fighting, a Kanju battle and a giant spider! And the monsters use Godzilla, Mothra and Rodan roars! It was directed by Tetsuya Yamaouchi.

The Original Harry Potter

TROLL-1986-An ugly troll (Phil Fontacaro) pretends to be a little girl and terrorizes her dysfunctional family (Michael Moriarty and Shelly Hack) and the idiot tenants in their apartment building. After turning Pete (Sonny Bono) into a plant, the troll turns the apartment into a breeding ground for other trolls. He turns a dwarf professor (also Fontacaro) into an elf and wants to rule the world. The landlady (June Lockhart) has a singing mushroom and knows magic. She becomes young (Junes's real life daughter Anne) but is turned into a tree sump. A kid named Harry Potter (Noah Hathaway from THE NEVER ENDING STORY) must fight a giant bat creature to save his sister and everyone else. 

Typical Empire production for the time, part fantasy, part horror film. Special effects artist John Carl Buechler also made CELLER DWELLER and FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE NEW BLOOD soon after this. It was followed by TROLL 2 and TROLL 3 which aren't sequels. 

Because of the name of the lead character and the fantasy elements some think this is where JK Rowling got her idea for her Harry Potter series.

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SinBaaad...

SINBAD OF THE SEVEN SEAS-1989-Terrible “Hercules” like tale which according to the credits is based on a story by Edgar Allan Poe! 

Sinbad (Lou Ferrigino) has a mixed crew (a Chinese warrior, a viking, a dwarf, etc.) who argue with each other and occasionally fight but mostly the story is held together by a narrator, a mother (Daria Nicolodi) telling her kid a bedtime story. Maybe they lost the soundtrack or were too lazy to dub everything. An evil sorcerer (John Steiner; hamming it up more than usual) and a sorceress (Teagan) are the main villains and there's some unintentional comedy. 

Director Enzo G. Castellari made this Italian production after several movies with the words “The Bronx” in their titles.

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Hippies

AN AMERICAN HIPPIE IN ISRAEL-1972-Mike (Asher Tarzafati)), a hippie from NYC goes to Israel to “bum around” after a bad experience in Vietnam where he was turned into a “murder machine”. While hitchhiking he meets Elizabeth (Lily Avidan), a rich actress who rants and says “you fools” a lot. After they have sex, Elizabeth goes hippie too and she and Mike rollick around town. They meet a bunch of “local hippies” and decide to go to an isolated island and “be free” but their freaked out love-in is disrupted when two white faced guys in suits and top hats machine gun everyone but Mike and Elizabeth and 2 remaining friends. Mike has a strange dream where people do weird things and he fights two figures that have reel to reel tape recorders for heads! The foursome buy a lamb and have sex in a car. They eventually go to a deserted island and skinny dip and dance. When their raft disappears they are stuck on the island and begin to see that “being free” isn't all it's cracked up to be. They quickly turn into savages, fight over the lamb and with each other. They all die and the white faced men drive away in their car. I think director Amos Sefer saw EL TOPO and LORD OF THE FLIES too many times! Filmed in Israel and Egypt.

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Bad Babies

THE DEMON'S BABY-1998-The Chinese army discovers an underground tomb full of buried treasure. Among the items they remove is a gold statue of Buddha which unbeknownst to them contains a demon. It falls into the possession of a general (Elvis Tsui) and his four concubines. When they become pregnant along with the ill treated maid Little Fish (Annie Wu) impregnated by Day Six (Emotion Cheung) the cook, the demon possesses them and their wombs become the homes for some demonic killer babies with sharp teeth. Day Six teams up with a very strange priest (Anthony Wong) to do battle against the demon women in a crazy finale directed by Kant Leung.

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Mr. BIG's Pirates

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THE BOY AND THE PIRATES-1960-Jimmy (Charles Herbert), a little kid who likes pirates finds a bottle with a mini-genie (Joe Turkel) in it. Because of a wish he makes Jimmy winds up on “The Queen's Revenge”, a pirate ship ruled by the infamous Blackbeard (Murvyn Vye)) who makes Jimmy his cabin boy. He has to swab the deck, clean fish and get rum for the captain. After the pirates loot and kill on a Dutch ship Jimmy (who Blackbeard calls a “miserable cabin rat”) rescues Katrina (Susan Gordon), a girl about his age. Blackbeard wants to throw her overboard but Jimmy stands up for her. When the crew learn their captain is after some gold, Morgan (Timothy Carey) tries to burn out Jimmy's tongue. When a British ship attacks The Queens Revenge, Jimmy and Katrina escape to an island but Blackbeard follows them. Jimmy throws the genie bottle at the pirate and he winds up back home. 

Despite being aimed at kids there's long stretches of talk and blood and violence. 

This bizarre kiddie swashbuckling fantasy was the first color film for “Mr. BIG” himself Bert I. Gordon (still alive at the time of this writing). There are no giant monsters but it's definitely a low budget production with some mediocre SFX. This was the second of four appearances for Susan Gordon in her dad's movies. Star Charles Herbert was also a popular child star at the time having been in THE FLY and THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK and many TV shows. He was in William Castle's 13 GHOSTS the same year.

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Dragonball

DRAGONBALL-EVOLUTION-2009-Nerdy white kid Goku (Justin Chatwin) lives with his Asian grandpa and tries to fit in and avoid bullies. On his birthday gramps gives Goku a “dragonball”, one of only 7 in the world. The evil demon Lord Piccolo (James Marsters) wants all the dragon balls so he kills gramps and Goku begins a quest to find all the magical balls and get revenge. Yun-Chow Fat livens things up as the comical Roshi. There's weird metallic monsters, lots of CGI fights, too much talk, crazy dream sequences and Goku turning into a giant monster. Though this is based on a hugely popular anime (of which I know very little about) it seems more influenced by LORD OF THE RINGS and HARRY POTTER. 

Director James Wong made FINAL DESTINATION and THE ONE (with Jet Li) before this.

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Bunuel

SIMON OF THE DESERT-1965- Penitent Simon (Claudio Brook) has stood on a high column in the desert for over six years so he can be closer to God. Priests and followers now gather as he is given a new taller tower. After refusing a blessing from a priest because he believes himself unworthy he ascends the new tower and promptly restores the hands of a man who had them cut off for stealing. The man's first act is to abuse his child. The crowd seems unimpressed by this and leaves. Later Simon is tempted several times by the devil who takes the form of a woman (Silvia Pinal) dressed like a little girl, then as a shepherdess (with a beard!) and later as a scantily clad female who arrives in a moving coffin. Satan takes him away and they wind up in a modern '60's disco where the band plays surf guitar music and young people do the newest dance crazed called “Radioactive Flesh”! When Simon says he wants to go home he's told he has to “stick it out till the end”. 

 Although only 43 minutes long SIMON somehow manages to be surrealist director Luis Bunuel's most anarchistic outing and continues his long obsession with the mocking of organized religion. It's also hilarious! The short running time owes to the fact that Bunuel simply ran out of money after less than three weeks worth of filming. He followed this two years later with BELLE de JOUR. 

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The Magic of Mr. BIG

THE MAGIC SWORD-1962-A sorceress named Sibyl (Estelle Parsons) lives with a chimp and her two headed servant in an underground cave. Also there is her adopted son George (Gary Lockwood) who falls in love with princess Helene (Anne Helms) who's image he sees in a magic pond. When he sees her menaced by a spirit with green eyes he wants to help her. She's then kidnapped by evil sorcerer Lodac (Basil Rathbone) who plans to feed her to his dragon as revenge on her father, the king (Merrit Stone). George insists on helping her but Sibyl says he's too young to take on such a powerful foe. Foolishly, she shows him some gifts he will receive when he's 21: a magic horse, a suit of armor and a sword and 6 knights from different nations. Wickedly, he traps her in the cellar and takes the items. He and the six knights travel to the king and announce they will save the princess despite having to face Lodac's “seven curses” on the way. The king's man Brandon (Liam Sullivan) goes with them and it's clear from the start he is up to no good (of course he's in league with Lodac). 

The curses include a giant ogre (not a good effect), a deadly lake, a French pleasant woman who becomes a vampire like hag (Maila Nurmi aka Vampira), extreme heat and creepy green ghost heads. All the knights are killed and George has to enter Lodac's castle by himself encountering mean dwarfs and weird bald servants who eat little people. Thanks to Sybil's meddling, George loses all his magic power and is imprisoned. While the princess is readied for dragon food, the little people escape their cages and free George who gets his magic back and slays the two headed fire breathing dragon (that looks like Gorgo). Brandon's head winds up on a trophy wall and Sibyl turns into a panther and kills Lodac. Somehow all the deceased knights show up alive at George's wedding to the princess.

THE MAGIC SWORD was directed by Mr. BIG himself Burt I. Gordon who after overseeing such low budget but entertaining 50's drive-in “classics” like THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN (and it's sequel) and ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE seems to have taken one giant leap with this technicolor sword and sorcery adventure tale. While the imaginative SFX (created by BIG and his wife Flora) aren't the greatest the inclusion of Rathbone, Lockwood, Winwood, Sullivan and Vampira make this seem like an all star cast! I think I saw Angelo Rossitto in one scene.

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Saturday Night Live Spin-Off?

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER-1984-Strange arty old movie feel (in black & white) fantasy that takes place in an alternate NYC (controlled by The Port Authority!) of the future. A young man named Adam (Zach Galligan; in GREMLINS the same year) wants to be an “artist”. He gets a job watching cars at The Holland Tunnel where Dan Aykroyd plays his boss and lives for a while with his aunt and uncle (Mort Sahl). The film turns color when Adam visits an underground land run by bums and watched over by Father Knickerbocker (Sam Jaffe in his second to last movie). Later he accidentally takes a bus to the moon. Bill Murray plays the ship's captain. In the bus lounge Eddie Fisher performs “O My Papa”! The government sends old people (including King Donovan, his real life wife Imogene Coca and Larry “Bud” Melman) there to shop. Eventually Adam becomes a great pianist and wins the love of a moon maiden named Eloy (Lauren Tom). 

This strange could be a cult film also uses stock footage and silent films and features a cameo by Lawrence Tierney at the end. Paul Frees is the narrator. It was written and directed by Tom Schiller a former writer on Saturday Night Live.

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