“You're damaged merchandise and this is a fire sale!"

 

(imdb)

SCUM OF THE EARTH!-1963-Photographer Harmon Johnson (Thomas Wood aka Harry Kerwin) deals in porn. He watches dispassionately while his dumb assistant Ajax (Craig Maudslay Jr.) abuses model Sandy (Sandra Sinclair). The head of the ring is a slimy guy named Lang (Lawrence J. Aberwood) who forces Sandy to “recruit” new girls. She gets innocent college hopeful Kim (Louise Downe) to pose for Johnson. After a few shots, suddenly she's posing naked and being abused by Larry (Mal Arnold; Fuad Ramses in BLOOD FEAST), another of Lang's sleaze bag henchman. Later, Lang gives Kim a lecture where the camera has a close up of his mouth while he spats insults. At another shoot, Ajax attacks Kim and Johnson beats him to death with a baseball bat. Sandy stands in for Kim (who they sent away) and stands by Johnson, providing him with a witness that it was self-defense. The cops are alerted and Lang shoots Larry. The police chase Lang to a beach where Lang hits the water. Now trapped, Lang shoots himself. After Kim and Johnson say their goodbyes, the voice of director Herschel Gordon Lewis is heard warning against the scum of the earth. 

This black and white exploitation film was made just a few weeks after Lewis' infamous BLOOD FEAST (which lead actress Downe wrote the screenplay for). It's pretty cheap looking and reminded me of an Ed Wood movie (Wood made THE SINISTER URGE about a porn racket in 1960).

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Johnny Vik

 

 (imdb)

JOHNNY VIK aka THE HUNTED-1977-Johnny Vik (Warren Hammack) is an unbalanced Native American shell-shocked Vietnam vet who acts very weird, won't take his meds, has mood swings and can't find a job. He kind of freaks out while washing windows at a mental hospital. He gets 30 days for peeing in public but later jumps bail and lives in the forest. The sheriff (John Favre) and a posse think Johnny is in an old shack. He fires a tear gas bomb but the shack was only being occupied by a mother and her children. After Johnny wanders around a lot he meets a strange woman Kola (Mary Jane McNaughton) who occasionally narrates. In the end nothing really happens and Johnny is hunted down and killed by the sheriff and his gang (for urinating in public?!). 

Badly made regional drama by writer/director Charles Nauman.

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Brad Dourif, Mad Doctor

 

 (imdb)

MALIGNANT-2013- Allex (Gary Cairns), a man grieving over the death of his wife and sinking deeper into alcoholism gets an involuntary treatment from a mad doctor (Brad Dourif) who likes to use implants and lobotomies. If you're a fan of the underrated Dourif you might want to see this drawn-out mess. 

The director Brian Avenet-Bradley is also a TV editor.

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If I Only Had A Brain Machine

 

 (imdb)

THE BRAIN MACHINE-1972-Four people volunteer for a government experiment run by two weird male doctors (Gil Peterson and Doug Collins) and female doc (Barbara Burgess) for the Environmental Control Center. Nothing much happens except the 4 have a lot of hang ups. Everything goes awry in this confused low budget boredom. 

With Gerald McRaney as one of the guinea pigs, Stuart Lancaster as a senator and James Best as a preacher. Director Joy N. Houck Jr. had previously made NIGHT OF BLOODY HORROR (1969) and WOMEN AND BLOODY TERROR (1970), both with McRaney.

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Revoke Her Visa!

 

 (tmdb)

EMANUELLE IN AMERICA-1977-Low budget sex-oriented junk with fashion photographer Emanuelle (Laura Gemser) getting involved with a white slavery ring and snuff films while taking off her clothes at the drop of a hat. As usual Gemser's then husband Gabrielle Tinti co-stars. Pretty badly made, this Italian production was directed by Joe D'Amato (ANTROPOPHAGUS (1980), ABSURD (1981) and many other titles with the name Emanuelle in them).

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Eddie Ruined Her

 

 (etsy)

YOU RUINED ME, EDDIE-1960-In Florida, spoiled rich girl Joan Denton (Jeanne Rainer) and laundry mechanic Eddie have been rollicking in the woods all summer and Joan is pregnant. Eddie is kind of a loser who won't take Joan for an abortion because he loves her, wants to marry her and wants a child. But she's too much of a snob. “I hate you! You're a hick!”. She tells her father but he thinks he can buy off Eddie who everyone thinks is crazy because he wants the baby. He's arrested on a phony robbery charge. Dad is devastated but Joan can only think of herself. He's also upset when Eddie is beaten in jail. Later Eddie escapes and Joanie, obviously nutty, goes after him with a gun. She wounds him and chases him through the forest in her robe and underwear. Copyright 1958. 

Also known as THE TOUCH OF HER FLESH, it was produced and directed by R. John Hugh made some other Florida based movies like NAKED IN THE SUN (1957) and FALL GIRL (1961).

 (themoviedb.org)

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Step Right Up!

 

 (imdb)

STEPS FROM HELL-1990-Some vampire demon Vlad (Bernardo Rosa) is searching for a gateway. The tale seems to be told in flashback by a writer to his would-be research assistant. They both act like they'd rather be someplace else. After his father is killed, a priest (Ron O'Dell) goes looking for Vlad, whose chief henchman is a huge black transvestite. He has a funny fight with a black couple in the woods. Later he and a ghoul girl attack some guys in a van and eat one of them. One guy who escapes beats up the huge guy with terrible martial arts moves but is killed anyway. Then later suddenly the big guy is chasing a woman. She beats him with a stick and stabs him but the undead woman grabs her. Later the priest fights Vlad in a good vs. evil finale in slow motion. Beelzebub shows up at the end too. 

The date on the film is 1990 but it looks like some washed out regional release made in the early '70's with bright lighting that suddenly goes dark, outrageously bad acting (most of the actors seem in a coma), too much talk and all the voices seem to be slowed down somewhat. Writer/director James Adam Tucker was also an actor (He played a cop on John Waters' HAIRSPRAY).

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"Stepping High" by Eddie Murray:

https://youtu.be/gT_VKzw18S8?si=x-DaJoAtd5ZRLZgy

Dino-Men

 

 

 (imdb)

UNKNOWN ISLAND-1948-A guy Ted (Phillip Reed) and his fiancé' Carole (Virginia Grey), hired a boat from a tough hardnosed but fairly intelligent captain (Barton McLane; TREASURE OF SIERRA MADRE the same year)) and his first mate (Dick Wessell; DICK TRACY VS. CUEBALL (1946)). They want to go to an uncharted island where the guy says dinosaurs still exist. They take along Baxter (Richard Denning), a guy who drinks a lot because he was once on the island. They shove off despite Baxter's warnings and the native crew unsuccessfully tries to mutiny. 

Landing on the island they encounter many prehistoric beasts including Brontosaurs, a T-Rex and a red-haired ape-like creature (uncredited Crash Corrigan). It becomes obvious that Ted cares more about photographing the prehistoric wildlife than anyone's life, including Carole's. Then just when everyone is ready to leave the captain announces he plans to capture the T-Rex alive. The group find a "dinosaur graveyard" and are attacked and the first mate is killed. Later the native crew steal the rowboat, but they all drown. The captain comes down with jungle fever and accidentally burns their supplies. He later kidnaps Carole but Baxter saves her and the captain is killed by the ape who then battles a T-Rex. The survivors make it to the boat and Baxter's heroics win Carole's heart.

 (imdb)

 Terribly cheap color production directed by Jack Bernhard with men in dino costumes, rear projection action and studio jungle sets. Star Virginia Grey had quite a career. She worked with Laurel & Hardy, The Marx Brothers, Abbott & Costello, Rondo Hatton, Johnny Weissmuller and started her career playing Eva in the 1927 version of UNCLE TOM'S CABIN. She and co-star Richard Denning were later in the seldom seen SF film TARGET EARTH in 1954. Co-star Phillip Reed's last role was HARUM SCARUM (1965) with Elvis Presley.

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Low Grade Savages

 

 (youtube)

SAVAGES FROM HELL-1968-In some small town, Marco (Diwaldo Myers) and his sister Teresa (Vi Lloyd) are migrant workers with their parents. They don't like the work so Marco gets a job as a mechanic. Teresa likes to hang around the gas station and meets High Test (William P. Kelly), the leader of a gang of bikers who she thinks is wonderful but he's just a dirty asshole in a jaguar vest. When he finds his girlfriend Lucy (Bobbie Byers) coming on to gas attendant Reuben (Cyril Poitier) a fight ensues which Marco breaks up. The next day High Test takes Teresa to the dune buggy races but she spurns his advances and Marco winds up slugging him. High Test vows revenge. Later he kidnaps Teresa and shoots Lucy. Mortally wounded, Lucy leads Marco & Reuben to the hideout where after a couple of fights, Teresa is rescued and Lucy runs High Test down before dying. Terrible acting.

Director Joseph G. Prieto made FIREBALL JUNGLE the same year. One of the screenwriters was K. Gordon Murray. Cyril Poitier was the lesser-known older brother of Sidney.

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Dead End

 

 (imdb)

LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET-1973-Convicted drug dealer Terry Hawkins (writer/director Roger Watkins under a pseudonym) is released from jail and is tired of people telling him what to do. He talks like an asshole to different people about making a movie and at a party a hunchback whips a woman. The rest of this garbage is Terry ranting (“I'm making this fucking movie”), whispering, smoking and killing people for his ridiculous snuff films. Later on he and his screwed-up gang graphically torture and cut up a woman. Then they kill another guy and the morons seem to get away with their crimes but a voice-over says they were later apprehended and put in jail. The director should have been put in a padded cell.

This monstrosity supposedly crawled out of a much longer "opus" called “The Cuckoo Clocks from Hell” which they say was so repugnant and annoying that patrons rioted and burned down a theater! I've seen that version on a list of lost horror films and I'm sure it belongs there. Everyone in this thing hid behind phony names and according to some sources, no one admitted being associated with it until 2000! Director Watkins went on to make a bunch of porno movies...

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Who Are The Overlords of the UFOs?

 

 (youtube)

OVERLORDS OF THE U.F.O.-1976-Ultra cheap pseudo-documentary investigation trying to answer the question: Who are the overlords of the UFOs? 

Writer/Producer/on screen narrator W. Gordon Allen talks about outer space UFOs, inter-dimensional UFOs, NASA's reluctance to admit the UFO existence, astronauts seeing UFOs and how the Morman faith may have been created by an alien encounter. There are a few short interviews with investigators (like Stanton Friedman) and abductees but mostly it's a lot of stock footage, photos and drawings depicting what's being said. The budget was obviously too minuscule to afford recreations. Allen says "It's obvious humans are helpless", but as long as there's an off button we don't have to be. Then suddenly in the middle of this boring narrative there's a mini feature thrown out called "Space Voyage from Ummo", some phony nonsense about aliens who use telepathy and dimensional travel to scout the solar system. Even charlatan psychic Uri Geller is thrown in at the end.

 In 1950's, presenter Allen owned several radio stations in Oregon before he threw his hat into the political ring running for state senator in 1958 before dropping out. Getting into Ufology soon after this, he claimed the moon was occupied by intelligent life. He was accused of bankruptcy fraud in 1972 but seems to have recovered enough to produce this epic a few years later. He died in 1988. 

(My info came from:  https://hatch.kookscience.com/wiki/Main_Page  

Presenter Mr. Allen 

I couldn't find any info on director G. Brook Stanford. 

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Crap Train To Terror

 

 (imdb)

NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR-1985-On a train, a terrible rock band play. Also on the train are God (un-billed Ferdy Mayne) and Satan (un-billed Tony Giorgio) who discuss various things in this low budget trilogy. 

In the first story, “The Case of Harry Bilings”, an accident victim named Harry (John Phillip Law) is turned into a weirdo who drugs women and brings them to an institution where a big doofus intern Otto (Richard Moll) rapes and dismembers them and sells their body parts. Later a female doctor lobotomizes a male doctor. Harry decapitates Otto and discovers the male doctor operating on the female doctor. I thought this might have been a misfire black comedy despite the subject matter.

Number 2: “The Case of Gretta Connors”. A musician named Greta (Merideth Hayes) is turned into a porno actress by a jerk named George (J. Martin Sellers). Glen, a preppie type sees one of Gretta's movies and falls in love with her. Somehow, he meets her and they become lovers. It turns out George is the head of “The Death Club” whose members have all had brushes with death. Something called a “Transinian Winged Beetle” (terrible animation) stings a guy to death and his eyeballs explode. They also play an electrocution game where an African American guy is burned to death. Later they play a game of death with a construction ball that looks like something from the '60's “Batman” TV show.

The third story is called “The Case of Claire Hansen”, Mr. Weiss (Marc Lawrence) enlists a police Lt. (Cameron Mitchell) and his assistant Dieter (also Marc Lawrence) to help him trap a Nazi. Then Weiss is killed by a fanged monster. Coroner Claire Hansen (Faith Cliff) examines the body. Her husband Peter is the author of the book “Is God Dead?”. A guy named Papini warns Peter the devil is coming for him. The Nazi is now the still young Mr. Oliver (Robert Bristol), a murderer sporting goat legs. The boyfriend of one of Oliver's victims tries to kill him but is crushed by a red eyed monster (terrible animation). Strange rubbery demons attack Claire but it seems to be an illusion. A priest tells her she was picked by God to battle the devil. He gives her a box and tells her to cut out Oliver's heart and put it in the box. A badly animated monster kills Papini. The Lt and Dieter are blown up. Then Oliver turns into a demon (bad puppet) and kills Peter. Somehow Claire runs Oliver down with her car and takes him to a hospital to remove his heart. Everything goes awry in the bloody operating room finale but Satan wins.

 The band plays some more but fortunately are killed when the train crashes. (but sadly, they seem to come back to life) This out of whack z budget trilogy was actually made from three full length or almost finished films and the third story actually was released in full length form as CATACLYSM. Four directors are credited but the screenwriting for all the stories go to one person, Phillip Yordan, who once won an Oscar for the screenplay of BROKEN LANCE (1954)!

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2 Downeys for the Price of One

 

 (imdb)

CHAFED ELBOWS-1966-Dismore (George Morgan), a moron who is having an affair his mother (Elsie Downey), gets involved with a lot of weird people in this underground hit made by Robert Downey Sr. using still photos, post-synced dialogue and one short color scene. Very much a product of its time, some of the dialogue is clever but dated. Downey's wife plays all the female parts. Doesn't even try to hide the fact it's sub low budget. Just goes with it.

 (imdb)

BABO 73-1964-Nonsensical black & white low budget political satire about Sandy Sudsbury (Taylor Mead), the newly elected President of the United Status. He tackles the cold war, racial discrimination and two-faced politicians. Some of the dialogue is funny. Written, produced and directed by Robert Downey Sr. I'm sure this and CHAFED ELBOWS (see above) influenced John Waters. Taylor Mead was in many early Andy Warhol shorts.

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It's a Fireball!

 

 

 (imdb)

FIREBALL JUNGLE-1968-After some guy (Tiny Kennedy) trying to sound like Screaming Jay Hawkins sings the theme, we are introduced to the world of stock car racing. A committee is investigating several deaths that have occurred on the track which seem to be connected to a fucking asshole driver named Cat Eye Mears (Allan Mixon). The real boss villain is Mr. Nero (John Russell; TV's “Lawman”) but the real crime of this stupid washed-out color nonsense is it features Lon Chaney in the last movie he was able to talk in, as Sam, a grubby junk dealer. This is full of crappy fights and stupid dialogue. The group Mercy lip syncs their hit "Love Can Make You Happy” (but it didn't become a hit till a year after this). I wouldn't even recommend this low budget bomb to Chaney completists. Directed by Joseph G. Prieto (SHANTY TRAMP (1967)) and written by pulp novelist Harry Whittington.

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Junk

 

 (imdb)

MANIACTS-2001-Junk about a serial killer named Joseph (Jeff Fahey) who's put in a mental hospital. The movie gives a lot of sympathy for him as the place is run by smug cruel doctors and sadistic guards. One African American doctor is sympathetic though. Joseph later meets a psycho woman and they kill everybody. I'm not much for movies giving sympathy to murderers even if it's supposed to be a comedy. Put it in the trash.

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Bigfoot Again

 

 (imdb)

 

AMERICAN BIGFOOT-2017-A Bigfoot goes on a murderous rampage after a drunken redneck kills its offspring. A detective named Benson (Zach Galligan, who seems to be somewhere else) looks into it. A doctor (Clint Howard) calls in a Bigfoot expert (Dave Sherill) and he team's up with Benson and a ranger (Johnny Lechner). The Bigfoot is a gray hairy thing with a small face. It kidnaps a young boy. After a lot of talk, it just ends with the Bigfoot still out there. 

Writer/director Glenn Martin followed this up with another Bigfoot movie. Also known as KAMPOUT.

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Wanda Lust

 (imdb)

WANDA-1970-Wanda (director/writer Barbara Loden) is an aimless, unhappy and probably mentally unhinged woman existing in a small Pennsylvania coal town. She leaves her husband and sleeps on her sister's couch. Later she gives up custody of her children to her husband and when she can't get a job at the local mill, has sex with some random guy who abandons her at an ice cream stand. She wanders around and then goes to a movie where she falls asleep and has money stolen from her purse. She goes to a bar to have a drink but the guy (Michael Higgins) she thinks is the bartender is actually robbing the place. She sleeps with him. Despite being verbally and physically abused by him (she calls him “Mr. Dennis”), she stays with him and helps him in his petty larceny. Later he comes up with a bank robbery/blackmail plot involving a bank president and a bomb planted in his house. Traffic separates them (and Dennis forgets to tell her where the bank is!), he's killed by the cops, and she's not implicated. She goes for a drive with a soldier but when he puts the moves on her, she rejects him, runs through a forest and collapses. Wandering through another town, she meets a woman who takes her to a party at a bar and gives her booze, cigarettes and food. The End.

I once saw John Lennon and Yoko Ono on the Mike Douglas TV show touting this badly made movie which I read is the first movie written, directed and starring a woman. 

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Tabloid

 

TABLOID!-1985-During an aerobics class (very popular in the '80's) 2 aliens kidnap the instructor. At a sleazy tabloid newspaper run by a crabby old bitch, a new writer works hard creating new stories for the paper. 

In the first story, 3 rednecks try to take revenge on a hick who sold them some bad weed. The hick, his pregnant wife and her mother kill all three rednecks and at the end the wife gives birth to a baby with a beard. This one seemed very influenced by John Waters. In the second three recently dead people come back to life and have a BBQ while having a kind of philosophical discussion about life and death. This whole story is filmed too darkly. The third involves a guy who can predict tornadoes with help from his daughter, a vacuum and a small town TV station. Parts are funny but this one goes on too long. There were three directors, one for low budget loony segment.

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Meat Cleaver Mash Up

 

 (imdb)

THE HOLLYWOOD MEAT CLEAVER MASSACRE-Sir Christopher Lee introduces this tacky low budget gore film. It seems Lee's scenes (he also appears at the end) were for another movie that was never made and the producers of this basement budget atrocity bought the footage, put it in their horror film and even advertised Lee as the star! Lee obviously was a little ticked off but at least for the viewer it's a plus if you have to sit through the whole thing! 

A college teacher talks to his class about an ancient demon. Later he gets flak from some asshole Mace. At night Mace and his stoner mates go cruising Hollywood Blvd., drinking and drugging. At Mace's urging they go to the professor's house. They kill his wife and children and think they killed him but he survives. While in a brain damaged coma he somehow summons a demon called Morek to get revenge on the killers. 

This is bad with most of the scenes way too dark. Needless to say it was the only movie ever made by director Evan Lee (no relation). Shortened recently to MEATCLEAVER MASSACRE.

 (wkipedia)

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Killer Shark Shit

 

 (wikipedia)

TINTORERA: KILLER SHARK-1977-In Mexico a series of shark attacks don't seem to bother anyone. Jaws inspired nonsense that goes down hill after an English woman (Fiona Lewis) is killed. Susan George shows up to party with Hugo Stiglitz, Jennifer Ashley (later in CHAINED HEAT) and Carlos East (a regular in the director's movies) but who cares? Sharks attack, people are killed. Really terrible Mexico production. Director Rene Cordona Jr. later made the all star exploitation movie GUYANA: CULT OF THE DAMNED.

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