And Then There's Maud...

 

 (themoviedb.org)

ST. MAUD-2019-Religiously devout hospice worker, Maud (Morfydd Clark), wonders what God has in store for her. She takes care of woman, Amanda (Jennifer Ehle) a former dancer, now crippled. Maud thinks it's up to her to save the woman but she winds up slapping her and getting fired. She wanders around talking to God, having sex and vomiting. 

Psychological bs, with good acting, from writer/director Rose Glass. Pay attention to the final scene.

Thanks for reading!

From Finland

 

 (imdb)

THE MATCH FACTORY GIRL-1990-In Finland, lonely Iris (Kati Outinen) works a mundane factory job to support herself, her mother and stepfather who she keeps house for. She goes to dances but doesn't attract a partner. She buys a new dress but her parents disapprove. Later she meets a strange guy and they have sex. On a second date, the guy tells her he doesn't want a relationship (he thought she was a prostitute) and she should beat it. Later she finds out she's pregnant. It looks pretty bleak for Iris but then she decides to buy some rat poison….

This unconventional drama directed by Aki Aurismaki, is regarded as one of the greatest films to come out of “the land of a thousand lakes”. It's the third installment of the director's “Proletariat Trilogy”. I have to check them out some day...

Aurismaki is also known for his movies about the Finnish rock band “The Leningrad Cowboys”.

Thanks for reading!

Revoke Her Visa!

 

 (tmdb)

EMANUELLE IN AMERICA-1977-Low budget sex-oriented junk with fashion photographer Emanuelle (Laura Gemser) getting involved with a white slavery ring and snuff films while taking off her clothes at the drop of a hat. As usual Gemser's then husband Gabrielle Tinti co-stars. Pretty badly made, this Italian production was directed by Joe D'Amato (ANTROPOPHAGUS (1980), ABSURD (1981) and many other titles with the name Emanuelle in them).

Thanks for reading!

It's A Bresee

 

 (fangoria.com)

MAUSOLEUM-1983-A woman Susan (Bobbie Bresee) gets possessed by a demon that killed her mother. Her eyes turn green when she wants to cause mischief like making a drunk's car blow up and carving up the gardener after having sex with him. She turns into a full-fledged demon when she kills her aunt. Her husband (former child evangelist Marjoe Gortner) eventually realizes something is wrong and calls psychiatrist Dr. Andrews (Norman Burton). Their housekeeper Elsie (LaWanda Page from TV's “Sanford & Son”) tries to warn hubby and says, "there's some strange shit going on in this house". Although demon Susan kills hubby, Andrews uses a crown of thorns to send the demon back where it came from. The final scene seems to be making fun of the whole premise. 

Bobbie Bresee was known for taking off her clothes in the few movies she made around this time and for being promoted shamelessly by Forrest J. Ackerman in the pages of the magazine he edited after “Famous Monsters of Filmland'. 

Directed by Michael Dugan. Music by Jaime Mendoza-Nava.

Thanks for reading!

Not For Cat Lovers

 

 (imdb)

NIGHT OF 1000 CATS-1972-Some nut named Hugo (Hugo Stiglitz) wines and dines women, has sex with them, then strangles them. He keeps their heads on display in his lab and feeds the rest of the body parts to a multitude of cats he has on his property. His demented bald headed servant Dorgo (Geralso Zepeda) helps him. Occasionally he reminisces about killing them. A married woman (Anjanette Comer) foils his plan. 

Pretty crappy production with all the dubbed voices seeming to have been done by two people. Directed and co-written by the prolific Rene Cardona Jr. (TINTORERA (1977), THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE (1978)). Star maniac Stiglitz (SURVIVE! (1976) was in several films by Cardona Jr., who's dad made SANTA CLAUS (1969), NIGHT OF THE BLOODY APE (1969) and many Santo lucha libre movies!

Thanks for reading!

Velvet Vamp

 

 (imdb)

THE VELVET VAMPIRE-1971-Diane LeFanu (Celeste Yarnall; BEAST OF BLOOD (1970)) is a vampire who kills a would-be rapist (Robert Tessier) then sets her sights on a young couple Lee (Michael Blodgett; BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS (1970)) and Susan (Sherry Miles). They go to Diane's house in the desert. After having a strange abstract dream, Susan is terrorized by a bat when the trio explores an abandoned mine. Then while Diane seduces Lee, Susan is bitten by a snake. Diane saves her. Lee and Diane have sex but the next day he wants to leave. After killing Lee Diane runs to put the bite on Sue but she escapes (in only her bikini) to the city. Diane follows her. Somehow Sue gets some hippies to help her destroy Diane but it doesn't turn out well. There's some terrible cliché acting. 

Director/co-scripter Stephanie Rothman started out working as an associate producer for Roger Corman (one of TVV's producers) on things like QUEEN OF BLOOD and VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, later working on the infamous BLOOD BATH (1966). Her husband Charles S. Swartz co-wrote and co-produced THE VELVET VAMPIRE.

 (imdb)

Thanks for reading!

Wanda Lust

 (imdb)

WANDA-1970-Wanda (director/writer Barbara Loden) is an aimless, unhappy and probably mentally unhinged woman existing in a small Pennsylvania coal town. She leaves her husband and sleeps on her sister's couch. Later she gives up custody of her children to her husband and when she can't get a job at the local mill, has sex with some random guy who abandons her at an ice cream stand. She wanders around and then goes to a movie where she falls asleep and has money stolen from her purse. She goes to a bar to have a drink but the guy (Michael Higgins) she thinks is the bartender is actually robbing the place. She sleeps with him. Despite being verbally and physically abused by him (she calls him “Mr. Dennis”), she stays with him and helps him in his petty larceny. Later he comes up with a bank robbery/blackmail plot involving a bank president and a bomb planted in his house. Traffic separates them (and Dennis forgets to tell her where the bank is!), he's killed by the cops, and she's not implicated. She goes for a drive with a soldier but when he puts the moves on her, she rejects him, runs through a forest and collapses. Wandering through another town, she meets a woman who takes her to a party at a bar and gives her booze, cigarettes and food. The End.

I once saw John Lennon and Yoko Ono on the Mike Douglas TV show touting this badly made movie which I read is the first movie written, directed and starring a woman. 

Thanks for reading!

Mary

 

(IMDB)

MARY JANE'S NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE-1996-Amateurish, badly acted and scripted shot on super 8 junk. Dweeb punks talk about sex with the pivotal character Mary Jane (Lisa Gerstein). It was directed by Sarah Jacobson (I WAS A TEENAGE SERIAL KILLER).

Thanks for reading this very short review. Sorry I missed Halloween. Hope you had a scary one!

Corman Hill

 

THE BIG DOLL HOUSE-1971-In a women's prison in "some banana republic" newbie Marni Collier (Judy Brown) shares a cell with Alcott (Roberta Collins; later in CAGED HEAT), Grear (Pam Grier), Bodine (Pat Woodell), Ferina (Gina Stuart) and Harrad (Brooke Mills). The place is run by Ms. Dietrich (Christiane Schmidtmer) but the real boss is the mysterious Col. Mendoza. 

After cockroach races, food suppliers Harry (Sid Haig) and Fred (Jerry Franks) come by and Harry feels up Grear. Bodine has a boyfriend revolutionary in the mountains and is tortured by head guard Lucian (Kathryn Loder) for info. When Alcott is caught having sex with Fred she's tortured too. Bodine and Alcott plan an escape and want Collier to help them. Then Alcott and Grear have a fight in the mud. The women plot their escape but Lucian tortures Collier to find out their plans while Dietrich dines with the prison doctor (Jack Davis). Then Harrad stabs Grear in the neck. Though Harry and Fred came for sex with Grear they wind up hiding the remaining women in their truck with Dietrich and the doc as hostages. Ferina is killed chasing her cat. There's an attempted rape, shoot out and explosion before the ironic ending.

This sleazy crazy entertaining movie was an early production from Roger Corman's New World Pictures and was shot in The Philippines by Jack Hill soon after the race car film PIT STOP and few years after filming Boris Karloff's US scenes for his quartet of Mexican made horror films. It's also the feature film debut of Pam Grier (who sings the title song). Before this she had a bit role in BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS and was a receptionist at New World. Corman co-produced it with John Ashley. Hill made THE BIG BIRD CAGE the next year also with Grier and Haig.

Thanks for reading!

Italian Horror

L’OSSESSA-1974-Danila (Stella Carnacina) an art historian/painter helps with the restoration of an ancient odd sculpture made of wood that depicts a man being crucified. Her boyfriend Carlo(Gianrico Tondinelli).wants her to move in with him but she can't seem to give up living with her parents. At a party she sees mom having sex with her lover (while dad is in the other room playing cards). She goes to the place where the statue is being kept so she can finish her painting. While there the statue comes to life, turns into a human, tears off her dress and screws her. The place goes on fire but it's all a dream. She calls Carlo for help. He lectures her then takes her home. Walking around in the dark she hears footsteps and her name being called. Chanting voices overwhelm her to orgasm. Mom and dad return to find daughter in full sexual arousement. So much so she comes onto dad (“There's no such thing as incest. It's an invention of the priests”). He slaps her a couple of times to bring her out of it. 

Their doctor suggests a trip to the country. So mom, dad, daughter and Carlo head out for a nice drive. Along the way they get a flat. Wandering around she meets a guy (with an out of control mustache) who’s restoring murals in an old structure. When she looks around she discovers a guy nailed to the cross laughing maniacally. Some extremely pale faced women seem to be getting ready for a human sacrifice. One of them bids her to drink a mug of “fertile sustenance” and then the crucified guy jumps off his cross and nails her to it! This too seems to be a dream/vision/illusion as she wakes up in bed. When their doc can't explain the bloody holes in her hands and feet he calls in some eggheads who agree an exorcism is needed. Their priest thinks it's too big a job for him so they transfer her to a convent where a real exorcist can do his thing. She goes kicking and screaming and later escapes and runs through the deserted streets. Eventually the priest performs the exorcism and Satan (Ivan Rassimov) appears. She tries to seduce the priest and when he is aroused he leaves the room and whips himself. A second exorcism seems to do the trick but he dies. 

This Italian production has it's moments but occasionally drags. Director/writer Mario Gariazzo also made EYES BEHIND THE STARS, an alien encounter movie that played a lot on late TV in the '80's. 

L'OSSESSA is also known as ENTER THE DEVIL and THE EERIE MIDNIGHT HORROR SHOW.  

Thanks for reading!

Serial Killer Short

I WAS A TEENAGE SERIAL KILLER-1993-Crappy, pseudo-arty black and white nonsense features lots of close-ups and dialogue that's not synced to the person talking. Mary (Kristin Calabrese in her only acting role) is a slut who has sex with men and then kills them. After killing one guy, she sticks a banana in his mouth. She meets a male psycho Henry (Corey) who kills “straight white males”. They seem to fall in love and kill people. Later she kills him. I think it might have been some kind of black comedy but I don't think the director, producer, etc. knew exactly what they wanted from this 20 minute waste of time. Director/writer Sarah Jacobson later made MARY JANE'S NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE.

I Don't Need Your Rules or Your Uniform,Man!

HELL'S ANGELS ON WHEELS-1967-A recently fired gas station attendant named Poet (Jack Nicolson) gets in with the LA branch of The Hell's Angels when his motorcycle's headlight is busted by one of the bikers. In a bar he helps them beat up another gang. He hangs out with them and takes a shine to Shill the "old lady" (Sabrina Scharf; later in EASY RIDER) of their leader Buddy (Adam Rourke). Some sailors beat him up at a carnival. After the Angels get revenge on the sailors the whole gang has a drug and sex party. When the cops come the spray the room to eliminate the grass aroma and cry harassment. Later they have a weird wedding ceremony at a church where Bruno VeSoto is the pastor. They also tangle with some frat boys (led by future director John "Bud" Cardos) and act mostly like drop-out hippies than an actual motorcycle gang. A falling out between Poet and the leader spells the end of Poet's membership and a firery crash caps the end of the movie. Real life Angels (including leader Sonny Barger) play themselves.

WHEELS is a dated but amusing biker film with lots of guys saying "man". Not much really happens but it should make you laugh!

In addition to Bud Cardos (and Nicolson) WHEELS features three other future directors Jack Starrett, Gary, Bob Kelljan and (unbilled) Gary Kent, who was also did stunts. The same year Nicolson had a bit role in THE ST. VALENTINE'S MASSACRE and was on THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW twice!

In 1968 director Richard Rush made PSYCH-OUT with Nicolson but since then he's only made 6 films.

Thanks for reading, man!

Cherry Bomb

CHERRY FALLS-2000-I've been told this is a "must see" cult film. Ok, I saw it. It's just more slasher nonsense but this time with a female killer preying on screwed up virgin teens in a small town. A stupid sheriff (Michael Biehn) tries to figure it all out and control his own teenage daughter (Brittany Murphy who died in 2009). It has to do with a girl who was raped by 4 football players years before (the sheriff was one of the players). I won't reveal the one other plot point about the killer who goes on a rampage killing teens who are having an orgy in an old house (since the killer only targets virgins it seems a good idea to have sex and therefore not be an intended victim). I guess it was suppose to be a grotesquely funny horror movie...I guess!

Jay Mohr and Candy Clarke also have roles.

The director Geoffrey Wright (from Australia) made ROMPER STOMPER before this.

Thanks for reading!

Korea

THE HOUSEMAID-2010-A young girl becomes the new maid/nanny for a rich decedent couple with a small daughter. Along with having to put up with the stone faced Mrs. Cho, she has to watch the daughter, cook meals and even wash the hair of the pregnent wife. The wine drinking husband sort of seduces the maid and they have an affair. She winds up pregent herself. Mrs. Cho finds out and tells the wife's mother. She tries to kill the maid and make it look like an accident but the maid is only slightly hurt. When the husband goes on a business trip the wife and Mrs. Cho decide to punish her. They poison her but she survives although she loses her baby. The maid vows revenge but in the end she hangs herself (and sets herself on fire) in front of the whole family. Much has been made about the ambiguous final scene which to me seems to signify insanity.

Director Sang-soo Im puts together a lot of excellent scenes in this Korean thriller/mystery but the story could have been better. It's a remake of a 1960 film.

Thanks for reading!

Scooby Do Be Doooooooo!

SATURDAY MORNING MYSTERY-2012-This is a weird dark ghost hunters investigating a haunted house  film but the four lead characters seem to be based on those in the cartoon series SCOOBY DOO! Although it features sex, nudity and swearing. There's a pet dog (named Hamlet) too but he just acts like a real dog. The group sets up cameras and goes about exploring. The Shaggy character (who also has drugs) watches two of his partners having sex. When it appears they might actually have found a ghost it turns out they are on acid that the ersatz Shaggy hid in their water cooler. This also helps explain the characters bird brain antics. After some BLAIR WITCH  type chase scenes the dog is eaten and there's a bloody decapitation. The guys are killed. A local sheriff (who had told the group early about the legend of the house) comes to the rescue of the two girls but in the movies stupidest scene he's captured climbing over a wall (and later tortured). The vicious deeds are done by Mona & Frankie , a brother and sister who's parents were accused of killing them after they disappeared but in fact they were hiding out somewhere in the house the whole time and are now crazy killers. This picks up steam as it goes on and despite it's derivative story line it's suspenseful and well directed. I was actually surprised at the typical cliche' ending. This was director Spencer Parsons second full length film.

Thanks for reading!

A Problem “Down There”...

THE INNOCENT PARTY-1959-Don and his friend go to the city to see a movie and pick two easy girls. He has sex with one of them and the next night he convinces his steady girl Betty to have sex with him in his car. Things really change between them especially when Don finds out he has contracted syphilis from his encounter with “the city girl”. Even though a doctor shows him slides of chancre sores (“Boy, pretty awful looking”) and such Don doesn't want to reveal that Betty might be infected (and ruin her reputation).

 Produced by the Kansas State Board of Health, it was directed by Herk Harvey who made dozens of short documentaries and industrial film before and after his only feature film in 1962: CARNIVAL OF SOULS... 

The washed out color print I saw was tacked on to Alpha Video DVD version of DAMAGED LIVES.  

They Got The Clap!

DAMAGED LIVES-1933-The great Edgar Ulmer made this cautionary exploitation drama a year before his horror masterpiece THE BLACK CAT. 

Donald Bradley, a young businessman (Lyman Williams) gets a venereal disease from a one night stand with a woman he meets at a party. He gets married to his fiancee, Joan (Diane Sinclair) and passes it on to her. 

He visits the famous doctor Leonard (Murray Kinnell) who gives him a tour of patients who have long term disabilities from the effects of untreated VD. Madness, blindness, body sores are some of the results. Their family doctor (Jason Robards Sr.) tries to cheer them up but then he won't even let his young son kiss Joan. After she tries to commit suicide and take hubby with her they realize everything will be ok (the medical treatment cure them will take two years) and they live happily ever after. It's based on a French play. 

You can read more about the author of the play here:

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eug%C3%A8ne_Brieux

Thanks for reading!

Seeing Is Believing

BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL-1984-Some movies really have to be seen to be believed. When I tell people about this thing they usually look at me strangely (well, stranger than they usually look at me). That's why I don't tell anyone about this..um..movie anymore. Fortunately when I first saw it , I was with my friend Tony so I have a witness. 

This shot on video insanity is about a religious but sexually repressed woman (Shirley L. Jones) who after some endless conversations about religion, dating and sex visits a doll shop and buys a strange puppet (it looks like the popular Jerry Mahoney but with dark skin and dreadlocks) that the store keeper says can grant the owner's “heart felt wish”. She buys it, takes it home and puts it on the toilet bowl where she proceeds to strip and take a shower. The puppet comes to life and watches her. He (it?)attacks her (his first works are “how do you like that,bitch?”) and ties her to a bed (some scenes of his feet and hands are obviously a little kid). She yells “Untie me, you wooden headed bastard!”. He abuses and rapes her but she decides she likes it! 

Seeing a puppet having sex with a grown woman is pretty strange. It's not a quick scene. It goes on for a while! 

The next day the puppet is gone. She searches the house (“Mr. Wonderful, where are you?”) but he's nowhere to be found. She throws her bible away and seduces a street hustler who grunts and groans but she's just bored. Later she goes to Elmo's bar and picks up a guy. They have sex but once again she is unfulfilled. She gets the puppet back and pleads for sex but the dummy is unresponsive until she tries to destroy it. A toy rabbit playing cymbals is featured in the bonkers ending. 

 While I've seen many shot on video horror films. BDDFH takes the cake. It comes right off a hand held camcorder with very little editing. The stop and start button being the most commonly used device. There's a way too loud Casio like musical soundtrack that at times obscures the dialogue. It's offensive, embarrassing and hilarious. Especially when you take time to think that adults made and acted in it! The writer/director Chester N. Turner remains a mystery man. No one seems to know anything about him except he made one other “feature” called TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE (also with Jones). Rumors say he was killed in a car accident in the early '90's.

Thanks for reading!