Corman Hill

 

THE BIG DOLL HOUSE-1971-In a women's prison in "some banana republic" newbie Marni Collier (Judy Brown) shares a cell with Alcott (Roberta Collins; later in CAGED HEAT), Grear (Pam Grier), Bodine (Pat Woodell), Ferina (Gina Stuart) and Harrad (Brooke Mills). The place is run by Ms. Dietrich (Christiane Schmidtmer) but the real boss is the mysterious Col. Mendoza. 

After cockroach races, food suppliers Harry (Sid Haig) and Fred (Jerry Franks) come by and Harry feels up Grear. Bodine has a boyfriend revolutionary in the mountains and is tortured by head guard Lucian (Kathryn Loder) for info. When Alcott is caught having sex with Fred she's tortured too. Bodine and Alcott plan an escape and want Collier to help them. Then Alcott and Grear have a fight in the mud. The women plot their escape but Lucian tortures Collier to find out their plans while Dietrich dines with the prison doctor (Jack Davis). Then Harrad stabs Grear in the neck. Though Harry and Fred came for sex with Grear they wind up hiding the remaining women in their truck with Dietrich and the doc as hostages. Ferina is killed chasing her cat. There's an attempted rape, shoot out and explosion before the ironic ending.

This sleazy crazy entertaining movie was an early production from Roger Corman's New World Pictures and was shot in The Philippines by Jack Hill soon after the race car film PIT STOP and few years after filming Boris Karloff's US scenes for his quartet of Mexican made horror films. It's also the feature film debut of Pam Grier (who sings the title song). Before this she had a bit role in BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS and was a receptionist at New World. Corman co-produced it with John Ashley. Hill made THE BIG BIRD CAGE the next year also with Grier and Haig.

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Corman Killer Robots

 

CHOPPING MALL-1986-At Secure-Tronics Ltd., Suzie (Barbara Crampton) and Alison (Kelli Maroney) and their brain dead friends drink beer and have sex in a furniture store in a shopping mall where some security robots have gone haywire after an electrical storm. The group run around exploding propane tanks, shooting guns and being picked off one by one until only Alison is left (well sort of). 

Dick Miller is a janitor named Walter Paisley who's electrocuted. Paul Bartel & Mary Woronov have a pre-credit appearance and Mel Welles, Gerrit Graham, Ace Mask, Arthur Roberts and Angus Scrimm have small roles. There's nudity, an exploding head and one jerk saying "Let's send those fuckers a Rambo-gram”. The 'bots say things like "Thank you. Have a nice day" after killing. 

This Concorde release was co-written and directed by Jim Wynorski who a couple of years later re-made Roger Corman's NOT OF THIS EARTH with Maroney and several other Chopping Mall actors.

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'50's Science Fiction

WAR OF THE WORLDS-1953-In this classic science fiction film based on the HG Wells novel Earth is invaded by the inhabitants of the planet Mars. An off screen narrator (Sir Cedric Hardwicke) tells us why the Martians chose our planet. When one of their ships lands on Earth residents (who think it's a meteor) of a small town investigate. Vacationing scientist Dr. Clayton Forrester (Gene Barry) investigates. He meets up with Sylvia Van Buren (Ann Robinson) and her uncle Dr. Collins (Lewis Martin), the pastor of the local church. After Forrester decides to stay for a while they all go to a square dance. Meanwhile three locals (Paul Burich, Jack Kruschen (as a Mexican) and William Phipps) check out the object when it opens it's hatch. Armed with a white flag they decide to approach the ship and be friends. They are promptly obliterated and the whole town is thrown into a blackout.

 The army is called in along with General Mann (Les Tremayne). Martian ships eventually show themselves and for some reason Collins sacrifices himself in a last ditch attempt to reason with them. He's killed and the army throws everything they have at the invaders to no avail. Forrester and Sylvia escape in a plane and spend some time evading the invaders but the doc manages to get one of the tri-color laser “eyes”. The Martians themselves are revealed to be little guys with long arms the same tri-color “eyes”. (The martians in the original novel are much more frightening) Meanwhile the Martians devastate the world and despite the US's best efforts including dropping an A-bomb they learn: “guns,tanks, bombs! They're like toys against them!”. After looters steal his truckload of scientific equipment Forrester searches the the devastated city for Sylvia who he finds in a church. Just when it looks like all hope is lost the Martian ships crash and burn and the aliens die (“We were all praying for a miracle”) due to germs in our atmosphere. 

This Sc-Fi/cold war classic was produced by George Pal, who originally planned it to be in 3-D and directed by Byron Haskin, who also worked as a special effects technician on many films which may have helped since WAR OF THE WORLDS 's SFX won an Academy Awa

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Armed Response

ARMED RESPONSE-1986-In this crazed sometimes funny Fred Olen Ray action drama, David Carradine plays Jim Roth, a veteran tortured by memories of Viet-Nam who now runs a bar. His war vet father Burt is played by Lee Van Cleef! A Yakusa gang leader named Tanaka (Mako) is after a stolen statue. He dispatches two underlings, Thorton (Ross Hagen acting weird as usual) and one of Jim's brothers (David Goss) to deliver a million dollars to buy the statue from the comic duo of Laurene Landon and Dick Miller. Thorton betrays his partner and a bloody shoot out ensues. He beats it out with the money and the statue. Later Tanaka has another brother (Brent Huff) tortured with some kind of acupuncture. After he dies Jim and Burt go for revenge. Fights, shootings and explosions abound. Some of the dialogue is terrible but Tanaka's main henchmen are played by Michael Berryman and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa.

Also with Lois Hamilton, Burr DeBenning, Conan Lee and Bobbie Bresee (in one quick scene). This was one of Lee Van Cleef's last roles. He died in 1989 of a heart attack at age 63.

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Chronicle (?)

CHRONICLE-2012-Three nerds receive superpowers after an encounter with some underground entity. Much of the story is told through the hand held video camera of Andrew (Dane DeHaan) a guy with an abusive father and dying mother. At first they mostly levitate things and do some practical jokes until one of them causes a car wreck. After one of them is killed Andrew loses control. To get medicine for his mom he kills, robs a store and blows up a gas station. He winds up in the hospital. Though there's lots of talk the finale where Andrew (kind of acting like Magneto)  brings new meaning to "angry young man" is really great.

At the time of this writing, DeHaan is cast as The Green Goblin in THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 and director Josh Trank is making a new FANTASTIC FOUR movie.

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Mikels' Angels?

THE DOLL SQUAD-1973-A senator and a government agent named Connelly watch a manned space rocket explode after a mysterious voice intones "perhaps next time you'll listen". A computer ("Big Bertha") suggests bringing in members of "The Doll Squad", a lethal all female group of agents lead by Sabrina Kincade (Francine York from Larry Buchanan's CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE). Unfortunately, her first two picks are killed by assassins. It turns out Sabrina's ex-husband Eamon O'Reilly (Micheal Ansara) is behind the destruction in his mad plan to release the bubonic plague on the world! They try to get Sabrina but she burns one guy with a special cigarette lighter. While skeet shooting the senator (John Carter), Connelly (Anthony Eisley) and Sabrina have a big discussion (she says "sex and security just don't mix") and she shows off her min-arsenal. Sabrina eventually recruits an Olympic swimmer (Leigh Christian), an exotic dancer (Tura Santana) and a carnival ticket seller (Jean London).

This was obviously ripped off by Aaron Spelling to make the TV hit CHARLIE'S ANGELS but DOLL has more violence, blood, bad acting and the leads in more revealing clothes. If the TV show had been like this I would have watched every week!

The presence of Ansara brings the movie up a notch. Both he and Eisley were busy TV actors at the time.

It was co-written, directed and produced by TV Mikels a year after BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS. The fights are pretty badly staged but it's far more entertaining than most reviews give it credited for. It also features exploding bad guys, a few gadgets, Rafael Campos and Mikels regulars Herb Robins and William Bagdad. Except for the seldom seen ALEX JOSEPH AND HIS WIVES in 1976, Mikels next low budget exploitation movie would be TEN VIOLENT WOMEN in '83!  Theme song sung by Solomon King.

Bad Action

24 HOURS TO MIDNIGHT-1985-Cynthia Rothrock is Devon Grady, a martial artist who's husband (Juan Chapa) is killed by gangsters led by "White Powder" Chan (Stack Pierce). Meanwhile two kung-fu cops (one male, one female) ride around beating up thugs. To get revenge Devon dresses as a ninja and bumps off the gang members in various ways. The story line with Rothrock was filmed by writer/director Leo Fong but never finished (several stories abound as to why). A few years later Fong filmed another story featuring the two cops and Brinke Stevens (who also dubbed Rothrock's voice) as Devon's avenging ninja. Scenes of Rothrock crying over her hubby's death and him showing her some martial arts moves are repeated several times. Fong himself shows up un-billed toward the end and is blown up. 

This inept paste up job was only Rothrock's second role (she made many more direct to video) and martial artist/actor/preacher Fong's first as director (he only got slightly better). He and Pierce acted together in LOW BLOW and KILLPOINT.

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Fred Sears

THE NIGHT THE WORLD EXPLODED-1957-Short (64 minutes) science fiction quickie features an egghead scientist Dr. Conway (William Leslie; also in HELLCATS OF THE NAVY the same year) and his older mentor Dr. Morton (Tris Coffin) who invent a machine that detects earthquakes. When they find  "a big one" is going to hit LA the warn the governor but he ignores them. After the quake hits as predicted the government wants to know more (things haven't changed that much). Kathryn Grant plays "Hutch" the duo's assistant who's sweet on Conway but he doesn't notice. They all go to Carlsbad Caverns to check out some readings. Along the way they discover a new element that explodes when it makes contact with air.

THE NIGHT THE WORLD EXPLODED almost plays like an episode of TV's SCIENCE FICTION THEATER. It was directed (and narrated) by Fred Sears (for a double bill with his atrocious THE FLYING CLAW), a veteran of extremely low budgets who's rapidity rivaled Beaudine and Newfield. He died suddenly at 54 of a heart attack leaving 5 (!) movies (including WORLD) to be released posthumously. Many of them produced by Sam Katzman (as WORLD was).

Grant who got to be Bing Crosby's widow was in THE 7TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD the next year.

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It's A Battle To Stay Interested!

BATTLE LOS ANGELES-2011-Moronic STARSHIP TROOPERS/WAR OF THE WORLDS knockoff from Jonathan Liebesman, director of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING and WRATH OF THE TITANS.

In the violent, predicable story, aliens invade Los Angeles and The Marines are called in to evacuate the place.  Aaron Eckhardt (he was in OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN soon after this) is a Staff Sgt. who's resignation is postponed because  he's needed to fight the invaders. This causes much friction and "butting of heads". So of course there's a lot of talking, yelling and arguing and it seems to go on forever. Characters say: "God dammit" a lot. It's a little different to see Marines defending the Earth rather than some galactic space patrol but it seems most of them are assholes deliberately sent to their doom.The aliens are big "transformer" like machines. Much of the story is told by (very well done) CNN newscasts. Michelle Rodriguez and singer Ne-Yo are also in it.

There are rumors circulating of a sequel. Liebesman was working on the next "Mutant Teenage Ninja Turtles" movie at the time of this writing.

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D Minus Is More Like It

THE A-TEAM-2010-I never matched the original A-Team TV show in the ‘80’s but it had to be better than this re-make. Liam Neeson is Col. Hannibal Smith (the character originally played by George Peppard) head of the title team. Bradley Cooper (from THE HANGOVER) is Face, Sharlto Copley (from DISTRICT 9) is Capt. Murdoch and MMA fighter Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is B.A. They go to Iran to recover some counterfeit plates but are framed for the death of a general (Gerald McRaney) and go to jail. Later they escape and go looking for the jerk who framed them. Henry Czerny is a stupid FBI director who says “awesome” a lot. Jennifer Biel chases after them. It’s mostly yelling and explosions and a long scene in a car without any of the leads seems like a waste of time. Dirk Benedict and Dwight Schultz have cameos. Go rent the original series instead. Director Joe Carnahan also made SMOKIN’ ACES.

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They Definately Live Up To Their Name!

THE EXPENDABLES-2010-Director and star Sylvester Stallone is Barney Ross who leads a mercenary group which includes Jet Li, Jason Stratham, Randy Couture and Terry Crews. Dolph Lundgren is also part of the team but gets kicked out. Ross wants Tool (Mickey Rourke) to take his place.

Despite the odd ball cast promotion most of the film is Stallone and Stratham trying to save the daughter (Giselle Itie’) of a dictator (David Zayas) who’s teamed with an ex-CIA agent (Eric Roberts, the only real actor in the group and he wasn't even featured in the ads!) who’s bodyguard is played by pro wrestler Steve Austin. Li gets to do some martial arts toward the end and the climax is an all out violent gun and hand to hand battle. The best fight occurs during this sequence. But Stallone isn’t a great director and there’s too much CGI effects. This was a real hyped up movie that fails to deliver anything that hasn’t been done already in countless direct to video movies!

As of this writing a sequel is planned to include Jean Claude Van Damme...

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Bond..

CASINO ROYALE-2006-It’s a ironic that the most serious and violent adaptation of a James Bond story would be the one that was first done as a comedy. Blond haired James Craig is a very different 007: a detached anti-hero with a big ego and violent tendencies. Still in a film world where every leading man is a detestable jerk, Craig at least holds your interest and makes you want to see more of him in action. The stunts and action scenes are the usual over the top kind but very well done. A murky torture scene (although part of the original novel) seems unnecessary however. Bond has a wild ride on a gasoline truck, gets poisoned and plays high stakes poker.

Craig had had supporting roles in movies like TOMB RAIDER THE ROAD TO PERDITION MUNICH and THE JACKET. Director Martin Campbell had directed GOLDENEYE with Pierce Brosnan as Bond. Also with Eva Green (from Bertolucci’s THE DREAMERS), Giancarlo Giannini, Jeffery Wright and returning Judi Dench as “M”.

The original film version of CASINO ROYALE was first adapted for American TV in the '50's with Barry Nelson as "Jimmy Bond".

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The Blog Where Human Timebombs Dwell....

HUMAN TIMEBOMB from 1995 stars Bryan Genesse (who co-starred with Carl Weathers on the 1991 TV crime show STREET JUSTICE) as an FBI agent battling Cuba drug lords. The head mobster plants a micro-chip in him that turns him into an assassin. With the help of a female lawyer (J. Cynthia Brooks) he rebels. Video vet Joe Lara is the control freak villian. The usual car chases, shootouts and explosions abound. Director Mark Roper later did a lot of syndicated TV shows like CONAN THE BARBARIAN and RELIC HUNTER.



What's worst than seeing a bad movie on cable? Seeing a bad movie on cable and then seeing it in the movies a year later under another name!!!

This was my fate when I happened to view a creaky low budget murder mystery called DELUSION on cable one night around 1980. The story concerns a woman (Patricia Pearcy from SQUIRM) who goes to work for invalid Joseph Cotton and people in his household start getting murdered. Everyone's a suspect! Who's doing it? Cotton's brain damaged son? How about his weird grandson? The drunk butler? The gardener? The lawyer? Maybe the maid? Even though the film makers try to be different you can pretty much figure out the twist ending as not many of the cast survive! Gets an A for effort I guess.

But that is not the end!
(It never is...)

A year or so later I went to a double feature at a local theater. For those of you who don't remember, a double feature was when a movie house showed two movies for the price of one! Really! They used to do that! Anyway, I don't even remember what the main feature was but the second feature was called THE HOUSE WHERE DEATH DWELLS. I was all set for some great unheard of low budget tomfoolery and what do I get?

You got it!

DELUSION under another name........

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