(imdb)SEASON IN HELL-2006-There seems to be a terrorist attack on the East coast. Two people trying to escape the mayhem stop at a house run by satanists or a blood cult. The shaky direction and optical effects are ridiculous. Women are tortured and when one of the guys tries to free a kidnapped girl, he's later dismembered.
The director has issues and probably saw HOUSE OF1000 CORPSES too many times.
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(imdb)HAPPY BIRTHDAY-2023-More self-indulgent horror junk from incompetent people who think they know how to make a movie. An escaped killer terrorizes some jerks at a secluded house. This convoluted nonsense has bad acting, a terrible script and piss poor direction. The lead actress is named Kim Sandwich but you'll be wishing you ordered a meatball hero and were watching another movie.
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(imdb)THE ALIEN FACTOR-1978-3 aliens escape from "their zoo" when a spaceship crashes on Earth. They terrorize a small town in Maryland. The mayor worries this might spoil his construction project. A Ufologist invents some weapons to destroy the monsters. The acting is laughable.
The script and direction by Don Dohler (1946-2006), who went on to make several more low budget horror movies in Maryland, is pretty amateurish. 23 years later, he made ALIEN FACTOR-2: THE ALIEN RAMPAGE.
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(imdb)GORE-MET: ZOMBIE CHEF FROM HELL-1986-In 1386, Goza (Theo Depuay) is condemned to be a flesh-eating zombie by some robed guys. 300 years later he's running a deli on the beach in Charlotte, NC. He kills a health inspector and a customer complains there's hair in his stew. Of course, Goza, who occasionally talks to the camera, is killing people to quench his lust for flesh.
If more people could see this movie (it's supposed to be a comedy) I'm sure it would be on a lot more worst horror movies lists. Bad everything! It's the only film effort by director Don Swan.
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(themoviedb.com)THOR: END OF DAYS-2020-In this Marvel comics knock off, Norse god/superhero Thor (Max Aria) battles his arch nemesis Loki (Mike Milian) for the fate of the world or something like that. The acting, script and sfx are terrible. By Odin, this sucks!
Writer/director Mike Shapiro had previously made GOD OF THUNDER (2015) which also featured Aria in the lead role, so I guess this is a sequel.
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NIGEL THE PSYCHOPATH AT LARGE-1994-How come when people make lists of the worst movies ever made, a garbage film like this isn't there. Well I guess most people haven't seen it. Terrible editing and direction, zombified acting, loud noises, atrocious gore sfx with splattered blood that looks like it was squeezed out of a tube and worst of all the gas mask wearing killer preys on kids and uses a weed whip to kill. One kid has his arm severed and his stump spurts blood. He kills adults too. Meanwhile some yokels are hunting for him. When one of them accidentally kills a kid, his partner just says, "don't worry about it". Actors laugh and smile. A fight scene involving a broom seems intentionally stupid but I'm not so sure.
The end features a policeman who looks like a high school student, a guy in drag and a drunk who thinks the drag is his ex-girlfriend! What happens when kids who've seen FRIDAY THE13th too much get a hold of a camera! Director Jim Larsen also made a movie called BUTTCRACK (1998).
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(moviesandmania.com)ANNA-2017-Two obnoxious imbeciles steal a cursed doll from a private museum. The dialogue is ridiculous and most of it is so dark you can't see anything. Don't waste your time. The director Michael Crum also made LAKE FEAR (2014) and ANNA 2 (2019).
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(imdb)DEATH DRUG-1978-Nice guy plumber and aspiring musician Jesse (Phillip Michael Thomas) is accepted by a music conservatory but two record producers convince him to forget that because he's going to be bigger than Donna Summers and The Bee Gees. He has a real meltdown Shatner style, while at a nursing home visiting his father who's rejected him because he wouldn't be a doctor. Later we hear from a TV broadcast that Jesse has hit the big time with his new album ("The kids love it!").
Unfortunately, he starts smoking angel dust and imagines his hairbrush is an alligator! He can't function at work (apparently not big enough yet to quit his day job) so he goes to his pusher to score. His assistant keeps his stash in the handle of his tennis racket. Later he gets very paranoid and attacks his boss and abuses his girlfriend. At a session with The Gap Band, he imagines they are making fun of him and rants at his producers ("Don't Mess With Me!") and winds up losing his contract. When his girlfriend gets pregnant her doctor (Rosalind Cash) takes her on a tour of PCP ward. Later Jesse tries to reform but freaks out in a supermarket and attacks an oncoming truck. Cut to a newscaster who informs us Jesse has been struck and killed by a truck.
The newscast turns into a drug lecture. Girlfriend has her kid. 5 years later she and son (both dressed in white) visit Jesse's grave where she breaks down and the credits roll. Then Thomas comes back to speak again.
What a mess!
And DJ Frankie Crocker plays a drug dealer. Bad everything scare film. Director Oscar Williams also made THE FINAL COMEDOWN (1972) with Bill Dee Williams.
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(tmdb)ALCATRAZ BREAKOUT-1975-Grant (Gary Boyd), a bank robber whose sentence has been increased several times because of several failed escape attempts is sent to "The Rock". He becomes friends with an inmate named Frazier (Ray Myles) and plans an escape. He almost succeeds but is somehow caught and brought back. After 90 days in solitary his wife comes to visit him (the actress who plays her seems comatose; I believe it was the director's wife). Later he tries again to escape and that fails. He tries one more time and fails forever.
This was directed by Nick Millard (CRIMINALLY INSANE 1 & 2, DOCTOR BLOODBATH (1987)) using the pseudonym, Jan Anders. A tedious mess despite the under an hour running time.
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(imdb)FIREBALL JUNGLE-1968-After some guy (Tiny Kennedy) trying to sound like Screaming Jay Hawkins sings the theme, we are introduced to the world of stock car racing. A committee is investigating several deaths that have occurred on the track which seem to be connected to a fucking asshole driver named Cat Eye Mears (Allan Mixon). The real boss villain is Mr. Nero (John Russell; TV's “Lawman”) but the real crime of this stupid washed-out color nonsense is it features Lon Chaney in the last movie he was able to talk in, as Sam, a grubby junk dealer. This is full of crappy fights and stupid dialogue. The group Mercy lip syncs their hit "Love Can Make You Happy” (but it didn't become a hit till a year after this). I wouldn't even recommend this low budget bomb to Chaney completists. Directed by Joseph G. Prieto (SHANTY TRAMP (1967)) and written by pulp novelist Harry Whittington.
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(imdb)PROJECT VAMPIRE-1993-The vengeful Dr. Klaus (Myron Natwick), a German vampire scientist and his assistant Heidi (Paula Randol-Smith) want to turn the whole world into vampires through a formula he says can stop aging.
This low budget horror is pretty bad with atrocious acting, script and sfx. This is only movie (so far) directed by Peter Flynn who was usually assigned to the art department on TV shows. Character actor Natwick was also MISSION: KILL FAST (1991) and THE CORPSE GRINDERS 2 (2000), both by Ted V. Mikels.
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(imdb)REMNANTS-2013-Nothing new here. A couple (writer/director Brian Coppola & co-writer Stephanie Gershowitz) with a dog and a video camera believe their house is haunted. The next hour is them talking and walking around in the dark. The doggie was cute though......
FRANKENSTEIN-2011-Mary Shelly, James Whale and Boris Karloff must be spinning in their graves. This is a trashy modern low budget version of the horror classic with lots of characters yelling "No!" at the top of their lungs. Bad acting, direction, tons of talk. Really terrible. I hope director Jordan Salkil never heard of the novel “Dracula”....
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DRACULA IN A WOMEN'S PRISON-2016-Dumb amateurish horror movie with an American women (Victoria Da Mare) going to a fictional third world country to retrieve the remains of her sister who mysteriously died in prison. It turns out the warden is really Count Dracula (Robert Rhine, trying to pass Zandor Varkoff as filmdom's worst Count Dracula) who's using the place for his personal blood bank. It features low grade computer generated sfx and bad acting. It's a sequel to Werewolf In a Women's Prison from 2006. Frankenstein In a Women's Prison is the sequel. All three were directed by Jeff Leroy.
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(videospace)ZOMBIE VS NINJA-1989-Korean kung fu movie turned into a comedy by Charles Lee aka Godfrey Ho. Part of the original story has to do with a bad guy named Titus who runs a village where a young man works with a stupid undertaker. Ho regular Pierre Kirby (in his second to last role) shows up occasionally as a brightly clad ninja in added footage.
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(imdb)ROBO VAMPIRE-1988-This crazy paste up job of a movie seems to concern a gang's search for a cache of drugs plus hopping vampires controlled by a monk. A group of mercenaries goes into the jungle to rescue a kidnapped narcotics agent.
Meanwhile a "Robo-Cop" type fighter (Harry Miles) roams around killing bad guys. The whole thing is a confused mess with Robo-Clone battling a monstrous hopping vampire in the too long finale.
This Hong Kong production was of course directed and written by “the king of chaotic movies” Godfrey Ho. Some sources say it also uses footage from another movie (not an uncommon move by Ho).
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(imdb)THE HOLLYWOOD MEAT CLEAVER MASSACRE-Sir Christopher Lee introduces this tacky low budget gore film. It seems Lee's scenes (he also appears at the end) were for another movie that was never made and the producers of this basement budget atrocity bought the footage, put it in their horror film and even advertised Lee as the star! Lee obviously was a little ticked off but at least for the viewer it's a plus if you have to sit through the whole thing!
A college teacher talks to his class about an ancient demon. Later he gets flak from some asshole Mace. At night Mace and his stoner mates go cruising Hollywood Blvd., drinking and drugging. At Mace's urging they go to the professor's house. They kill his wife and children and think they killed him but he survives. While in a brain damaged coma he somehow summons a demon called Morek to get revenge on the killers.
This is bad with most of the scenes way too dark. Needless to say it was the only movie ever made by director Evan Lee (no relation). Shortened recently to MEATCLEAVER MASSACRE.
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(imdb)BATTLE BENEATH THE EARTH-1967-Arnold (Peter Arne), a guy in a mental hospital tells his friend Commander Jonathan Shaw (Kerwin Matthews; THE SEVENTH VOYAGE OF SINBAD in better days) that "they" are digging tunnels on the Oregon coast and will "wipe us out". When an Oregon mine collapses Shaw investigates. He discovers Chan Lu (Martin Benson), a renegade Chinese general is digging the tunnels and planning on detonating atom bombs in the US. The US army kill all the soldiers but are no match for the armored tank that shoots a deadly ray. When they investigate the tunnels further they are joined by geologist Tila Lung (Viviane Ventura).
This color cold war sci-fi film takes place in Las Vegas but it's obvious most of the cast is English (including the phony Chinese). Terrible acting, direction, script and sfx. This was the last film directed by Montgomery Tully (THE ELECTRONIC MONSTER).
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GANJASAURUS REX-1987-This shot on video trash is supposed to be a comedy so the film makers didn't really give a shit. It's about a dinosaur that likes to eat weed. I think the actors were on something stronger than pot. It's mostly bad actors talking. Director Ursi Reynolds hasn't done anything else...as of this writing! Bad everything!
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(IMDB)JAN-GEL THE BEAST FROM THE EAST-1999-A prehistoric man (Dale Clukey) frozen in ice is lost by a shipping company and comes to life. He's a bug eyed bearded, balding pot bellied oaf who wanders around scaring people and making ridiculous grunts. Sometimes he sounds constipated. He kills a few people but nothing is shown. This movie is so inept,boring and laughable. Feeble attempts at real humor fall flat. The acting, directing and editing are below sub-par.
Director/writer Conrad Brooks (in several Ed Wood Jr. movies including PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE) plays Conrad Brooks, a Bigfoot hunter. Visible mics are everywhere. The monster kills in broad daylight and in a really crazed scene fights a rubber snake. This probably isn't as bad as Brooks' BLOOD SLAVES OF THE VAMPIRE WOLF but it's a close second. Speaking of second, Brooks made a sequel!
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(Wikipedia)John Carradine is fourth billed as Mr. Wilson but only appears in a pre-credit sequence and sings the title song “Night Train To Mundo Fine” also the film's original title.
Terrible non-action from the director of THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS which at least had Tor Johnson in the lead role. This was the last of three very low budget disjointed films Coleman Francis made in the early '60's. Co-star Tony Cardoza was a co-producer on all of them.
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