“What's a Vampire?”

 

 (imdb)

DRACULA 3000-2004-In the future when dope is legal and no one believes in God, Captain Abraham Van Helsing (Casper Van Diem) leads a salvage team (which includes Erika Eleniak, Coolio and Tiny Lister). There's also a whiny guy in a wheelchair who's like a cross between Eddie Deezen and Robbie Robertson. They investigate a 50 year old derelict space ship. Coolio turns into one of the worst vampires in vampire film history. Count Dracula is somehow on board. He's from planet Transylvania in the Carpathian solar system. 

Really! I didn't make it up! 

Udo Keir is also in it. 

Written and directed by Darrell Roodt (PREY (2007))

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Bava In Space

 

 (imdb)

PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES-1965-A group of astronauts land on a mysterious planet looking for a missing spaceship. At first they act strangely. They find the spaceship they were looking for but the crew is dead. The captain, Mark Markary (Barry Sullivan) deduces some kind of force is trying to control them. They find giant dinosaur like skeletons, the remains of a dead civilization. But the inhabitants are still around possessing dead bodies and killing who's ever still alive. 

There's a twist ending in this well directed but slow-paced horror sci-fi from Mario Bava which was co-produced by AIP. Star Sullivan promoted this film on an episode of “Celebrity Password”. Susan Hart (AIP co-owner James Nicholson's wife) was originally supposed to play the female lead. Director Bava's future director son, Lamberto was the assistant director.

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Long Day's Journey Into Space

 

 

 (themoviedb.org)

JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET-1962-In the year 2001 when the world is run by The United Nations, an international manned rocket ship is heading for Uranus. On the way their minds are taken over by an alien presence that learns their innermost feelings. Exploring the big U, they encounter a one-eyed creature (Terrible stop motion). They meet a village girl Ingrid (Greta Thyssen) and 2 other women. Ladies man Capt. Don Graham (John Agar; in HAND OF DEATH the same year) sees illusions of her. There's a giant spider and a one-eyed spongy monster wants to take over Earth. 

Techno-color Sci-Fi cheapie filmed in Denmark, directed and co-written by Sidney Pink (the English language version of REPTILICUS (1961)) and Ib Melchoir who had already teamed with Pink for THE ANGRY RED PLANET in 1959. 

Lead actress Thyssen was once groomed as a new Marilyn Monroe but now might be more well known to some of us from the trio of Joe Besser 3 Stooges shorts she co-starred in.

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One's Enough

 

 (imdb)

SCORPIO ONE-1998-Terrible sf outer space junk about some CIA agents who go into space to investigate a space station where the whole crew has been killed. Robert Carradine (doing a lot of TV around this time), Jeff Speakman (THE PERFECT WEAPON (1991) and Robin Curtis (STAR TREK 3: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK (1984)) star. 

The director Worth Keeter later worked on several “Power Rangers” series.

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From Japan

 

 (imdb)

FUGITIVE ALIEN-1978- Alien Ken (Tatsuya Azuma) is on the run from his home planet because he wouldn't kill a human child. On Earth he has super abilities and is kind of forced to join a special space force unit headed by Captain Joe (Jo Shishido; BRANDED TO KILL (1967)), whose wife and child were killed by Ken's race. A pasty-faced alien leader sends Ken's lover to kill him because Ken killed her brother (he was going to kill the kid Ken wouldn't). It's several episodes of the Japanese TV show "Space Wolf" which in turn was an adaptation of a novel by American author Edmund Hamilton. There was also a FUGITIVE ALIEN 2.

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Caroline Munro

 

 (imdb)

STARCRASH-1978-Space thief Stella Star (Caroline Munro) and her smug companion Acton (Marjoe Gortner) are arrested and sentenced to hard labor by a gold disembodied head (reminiscent of the alien in INVADERS FROM MARS). They escape and are picked up by a space cop (green skinned Robert Tessier) and Robot Ellie (Judd Hamilton with Hamilton Camp doing his voice) with a southern accent. The Emperor of the First Circle of the Universe (Christopher Plummer) wants the duo and Ellie to save everything from Count Daka (Joe Spinnell with dubbed voice). Later, on a planet of cavemen, the trio meet Prince Simon (David Hasselhoff). 

With some bad stop motion animation and bad acting, this was directed by Luigi Cozzi a year after his infamous “version” of GODZILLA and before he got into the horror genre. Munro and Hamilton were married at the time. In an interview Christopher Plummer said the only reason he made it was to get a free trip to Italy!

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A Bunch of Clowns Walk into a Blog...

 

 (imdb)

KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE-1988-In wacky sf comedy, alien clowns arrive on Earth (in a circus tent spaceship). Their first victim is an old hillbilly (Royal Dano). The grotesque sinister looking clowns have ray guns that shoot popcorn, balloon hunting dogs and store victims in cotton candy. Two air head college students Debbie (Suzanne Snyder; RETRIBUTION) & Mike (Grant Cramer; NEW YEAR'S EVIL) try to convince police officer Dave (John Allen Nelson) what's going on while his grouchy partner Mooney (John Vernon) wants to arrest all the students. The clowns go around terrorizing the town. One makes a hand shadow eat some people and have other inventive ways of killing. Fortunately, Dave discovers a way to kill them. Two brothers with an ice cream truck help out when Debbie is encased in a beach ball. Eventually a gigantic clown appears in the fun house like spaceship. Great title song by The Dickies.

 It was directed by Stephen Chiodo and written and produced with his brothers Charles and Edward. They all did SFX on other movies and have been working on a sequel for years.

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Kinski on Saturn

 

 (imdb)

CREATURE-THE TITAN FIND-1985-During a space race between the USA and W. Germany, two astronaut-scientists are killed by an "Alien" type creature. Then their spaceship crashes into a station orbiting the moon. Some genius decides to send a bunch of dorks and airheads to investigate the find on Titan, the largest moon of the planet Saturn. After a woman is killed and things slow down, the mysterious astronaut Hoffner (Klaus Kinski) shows up to explain what's going on. After he's killed, he comes back as a reanimated zombie. 

This turns into an ALIEN rip-off with characters being picked off one by one and bloody sfx ranging from very good to not so good. Co-writer/director William Malone later made the big-budgeted HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL remake.

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Russians in Space

 

 (imdb)

BATTLE BEYOND THE SUN-1959-A narrator tells us about the US's big plans for colonizing the moon and beyond. Toy models are shown. In the year 1997, after the "great atomic war", the Earth is divided into "The North Hemis" and "The South Hemis". In the South Dr. Gordon and his wife Ruth head a project called "Red Planet". It's mission is to land a spaceship on Mars. According to rumors, the North is also working on such a trip. After the Mars team lands on a space station where the rocket ship will be launched, they get a distress call from a Northern Hemis ship asking if they can land and make repairs. Permission is granted. At dinner the south announces their intentions of going to Mars. This upsets the North pilots as this was their mission too. Against orders the North decide to go to Mars first. Taking off they injure one of the cosmonauts, I mean a South astronauts. Later the arrogant, self assured and reckless US astronauts, I mean the North astronauts have their rocket ship destroyed by the sun. The south doesn't quite make it to Mars and they are attacked by monsters. Despite the failure the four man crew return safely as heroes. 

This movie was actually a USSR produced film entitled NEBO ZOVYOT and has two directors. The US version had a third. Roger Corman bought the film and had Francis Ford Coppola (and Jack Hill) re-edit and dub it into English removing all the Anti-American propaganda and the two competing countries into “hemis”. Coppola also added the scenes with the space monsters.

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Shut Up

 

SILENCIO-2018-This science fiction mystery involves a weird stone from outer space, a scientist (John Noble) with Alzheimer's, a turtle and flashbacks. It's partially in English and partially in Spanish but a totally stupid incoherent disaster from Mexican director Lorena Villarreal.

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2 Dinos

 

JURASSIC GALAXY-2018-Nonsense about the survivors of a spaceship crash on an alien planet inhabited by dinosaurs. After arguing and avoiding getting eaten they meet the weird survivor of a previous crash who's now a cannibal who ate his crew members and worships a volcano. A tree has graffiti on it and the sfx suck. Two brothers directed it.

GANJASAURUS REX-1987-This shot on video trash is supposed to be a comedy so the film makers didn't really give a shit. It's about a dinosaur that likes to eat weed. I think the actors were on something stronger than pot. It's mostly bad actors talking. Director Ursi Reynolds hasn't done anything else...as of this writing! Bad everything!

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Mars in Cinemagic

 

THE ANGRY RED PLANET-1959-A manned Mars space probe that was thought to have crashed landed turns up 60 days later floating in space. When it's retrieved only one of the four person crew is conscious, the one female member Iris (Nora Hayden) who begins to relate the story of how she, Prof. Gettell (Les Tremayne), chief officer Sam Jacobs (Jack Kruschen) and Col. Tom O'Bannion (Gerald Mohr) travel to Mars and land on its red surface. When Iris sees an alien at a window she can't remember the rest of her story so the doctor gives her a drug and she continues. The group goes out to explore. It really is red. They have a ray gun that freezes things which comes in handy when Iris is attacked by a giant carnivorous plant! 

On their second outing they encounter a scary creature sometimes referred to as the rat bat spider which almost crushes the professor. Over a ridge they discover huge lake and something is watching them. Sensing danger they decide to return to the ship and go back to Earth but are held there by a force field. With nothing else to do, the decide to cross the lake when they spy a city in the distance. They head for it but turn around when a giant fish blob emerges and chases them. It kills Sam. The blob covers the ship. They use electricity to get rid of it, then get a Martian message but Iris faints. After they take off Gettell dies of a heart attack and Tom's condition worsens (he has a fungus). Poor Iris is on her own. Back in the present Iris concocts a cure to save Tom. They find a warning message on one of tapes. The voice (Ted Cassidy) warns Earth to stay away or be destroyed....

It has been said that THE ANGRY RED PLANET was made in 9 days on a budget of $200,000 by director Ib Melchior who co-wrote the screenplay with co-producer Sid Pink. Co-producer Norman Maurer reluctantly used the quick Cinemagic process to depict the Mars surface and the monsters. It was a very tacky looking but weird effect and he employed it again on THE THREE STOOGES IN ORBIT (co-starring his father in law Moe Howard). 

Melchior and Pink later worked together on REPTILICUS.

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Tiny Planet

 

THE PHANTOM PLANET-1961-After an Earth rocket ship that look off from the moon is destroyed by some kind of asteroid, Commander Frank Chapman (Dean Fredericks) and his philosophical co-pilot Makonnen (Richard Weber) investigate. When Makonnen is killed saving Chapman, the ship is drawn to an asteroid and is forced to land. When Chapman steps onto the planet he passes out. 80's⁹Later he wakens and encounters some tiny inhabitants. He passes out again and shrinks to their size. They seize him and bring him to a court overseen by Sessom (Francis X. Bushman). It seems he's on the planet Rheton and can never go back to Earth. Sessom wants Chapman to be a productive citizen even offering the astronaut his choice of a wife, his daughter Liara or the mute Zetha (Dolores Faith). 

Sessom's second in command Aron (Anthony Dexter) is the troublemaker who gets jealous when Liara takes a liking to the alien Chapman. Meantime, a search party is sent out to find the missing astro. He seems to prefer Zita but green eyes Aron challenges Chapman to "the duel". When Chapman bests his rival he refuses to kill Aron and let's him live. Then Aron wants to help Chapman leave so he can have Liara all to himself although Chapman already told her to bug off. Before the escape plan can be implemented, their dreaded enemies The Solarites attack. They destroy the attackers but a captured Solarite (Richard Kiel in his film debut) escapes and attacks Sessom. Chapman is eventually rescued but thinks it all might have been a dream except he has a stone Zita gave him. 

There's some minor narration at the beginning by Marvin Miller. Director William Marshall (not to be confused with the actor who played Blacula) also produced and co-wrote this unusual space opera. 

Richard Kiel and Dolores Faith were reunited a few years later in THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS (1965).

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Space Vampire

QUEEN OF BLOOD-1966-In 1990 the world prepares for the human exploration of Mars and Venus. The whole project is overseen by Dr. Farraday (Basil Rathbone). Space transmissions say that an ambassador from Mars is going to pay a visit but later it's found out the transmission is actually an SOS. The Space Institute decides to help and they send Laura James (Judi Meridith), Paul Grant (Dennis Hopper)) and Anders Brockman (Robert Boon). They run into trouble with a sunburst on the way. Laura figures they need better equipment to local the aliens, so two Earth bound astronauts Tony Baratta (Don Eithner) and Allan Brenner (John Saxon who passed away on July 25 of this year)) convince Farrady to send another ship that can land a Phobos, a moon of the red planet. It works and the duo hook up with others. They also find a creepy green faced female alien (Florence Marly). The next day Paul is found dead after an encounter with “their guest” who it turns out lives on blood. She kills Brockman next then goes after Allan. Laura stops her and in the process scratches the alien who bleeds to death. On their way back the surviving duo learn that the alien was a “queen bee” who laid eggs on the ship! Laura convinces Allan not to destroy them and instead bring them back to Earth where they can be studied. Forrest J. Ackerman (as a minor lab technician) has the honor of holding them for the final scene. 

This color science fiction outer space adventure from AIP isn't bad but a little shoddy at times due to the extreme low budget. Director Curtis Harrington (who made NIGHT TIDE with Hopper earlier) does a decent job with most of the special effects incorporated from two Soviet Union features. The year before QUEEN Rathbone had done new scenes for AIP's VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET and was in the beach party ghost movie THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI.

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Perry Rhodan

MISSION STARDUST-1967-Major Perry Rhodan (Lang Jeffries) and his crew are all part of the super secret Stardust Project which is headed to the moon to mine a new type of precious metal. Along with him are Capt. Bull (Luis Davila), Capt. Flipper (Daniel Martin) and Dr. Monoli (Joachim Hansen). A guy named Arkin (Pinkus Braun) wants the metal too. When they land a strange interference knocks out communication with Earth. Then their land Rover is destroyed. A weird robot with teeth and eyes takes them to meet Crest (John Karlsen), an old guy with a lisp and Thora (Essy Persson), the arrogant commander from the planet Arkon. 

While Perry tries to melt the ice princess, Manoli discovers that Crest has leukemia and wants to take him to an Earth doctor for treatment. They travel secretly to Mombasa but run into trouble with the army. The silly aliens think Mercury is a precious metal while diamonds are used like nails. After the army fails to capture the ship, Rhodan and Faber go looking for Dr. Haggard (Stefano Sibaldi) who they find after beating up some thugs. They take Hagar and his two assis-tants to help Crest. Meanwhile Arkin's gang infiltrates an army sector and captures Rhodan. It turns out Flipper is actually working for Arkin and Hagar and his nurses are imposers. The robots vaporize most of the bad guys except Arkin who sneaks on to the alien ship and is later set adrift in space. 

This Italian-West German co-production by director Primo Zeglio is more like espionage than space opera but also influenced by TV's Star Trek although the Perry Rhodan series of books (around 126 at this writing) started in 1961. 

Terrible sfx. Star Jeffries was born in Canada and in the early '60's was married to Rhoda Fleming. Essy Persson had been in the sexploitation blockbuster I, A WOMAN in 1965 and was later in CRY OF THE BANSHEE (1970) with Vincent Price.

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The Boring Red Planet

MISSION MARS-1968-Astronauts Mike (Darren McGavin), Nick (Nick Adams) and Duncan (George De Vries) take a rocket ship to the Red Planet where some cosmonauts disappeared. Two of them leave behind anxious wives. They have a pretty ordinary flight (if flying to Mars is ordinary…) until they hit a meteor shower and see 2 dead cosmonauts floating in space. Once they land they find the third Russian frozen to death. They are attacked by some weird creatures and then ordered by their commanders to leave. But a giant orb seems to be holding them there. Later while examining the orb Duncan is killed. Back on Earth the wives worry but don't seem very proud of their heroic husbands. The dead cosmonaut comes back to life (he was in a coma) and Nick destroys the orb but at the cost of his own life. Mike returns home. 

This outer space adventure isn't very good but what can your expect from director Nicholas Webster, the guy who made SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS?

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Robot War! What Is It Good For?

WAR OF THE ROBOTS-1978-Robots with Dutch boy haircuts kidnap a scientist and his assistant. Captain Boyd (Antonio Sabato) leads a rescue team. Roger (Giacomo Rossi Stuart), Julie (Yanti Somer), Paul (Venantino Venantini) and Sonia (Ines Pelligrini) accompany him to the home planet and encounter weird pale aliens lead by a Kuba (Aldo Caldi), a bald guy. They are actually the inhabitants of the planet subjugated by the Dutch boy robots. 

This Italian Sci-Fi space story is boring and badly made by director Alfonso Brescia (screenwriter of WAR OF THE PLANETS (also with Yanti Somer) and sometimes credited as Al Bradley).

https://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2012/10/out-of-order-review.html

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ek00mVLcfE

Unsold TV Pilot

DESTINATION SPACE-1959-In the future a space station nicknamed "Benedict's Billions" is ready to launch a manned rocket ship when it's hit by a meteor. No one is killed but this gives a headline seeking senator (Robert Cornthwaite) another reason to criticize it. Jim Benedict (Harry Townes) head of the project comes under a lot of personal criticism especially from Kim (Gail Kobe), the wife of the station's captain (Charles Aidman). John Agar is his associate Col. Matthews. Cecil Kellaway is the outspoken Dr. Andrews. Dr. Logan (John Lormer) is also aboard. After Jim gives a nice speech that kind of wins everyone over, a scientist Dr. Easton (Edward Platt) is sent along as an independent observer. Jim's girlfriend June (Whitney Blake) fits into a love triangle Jim gets caught in while trying to clean the ice build up preventing the launch. 

There's not a lot of info available on DESTINATION SPACE but now it's pretty much agreed this was actually an unsold pilot before it was released as a feature film. It certainly has that feel to it although former actor Joseph Pevney had directed many feature films (like THE MAN OF A THOUSAND FACES in 1957) by the time this was made he had already take “the leap” into TV (where he worked on many TV shows for many years to come). 

Producer/writer Rip Van Ronkel had written the screenplay for the excellent DESTINATION MOON in 1950. Much stock footage from 1955's CONQUEST OF SPACE was used too.

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Space Fungus

MUTINY IN OUTER SPACE-1965-Major Towers (William Leslie) and Captain Webber (Carl Crow) are two yobs returning to a space station after collecting samples on an asteroid. Head of the station is Cromwell (Richard Garland). The first 30 minutes is all talk then Webber dies after being infected by an unknown fungus. Towers wants to warn everyone but Cromwell wants it kept secret. Even after the fungus takes over the lab of Towers' girlfriend Faith (Dolores Faith) a botanist. It seems Cromwell is suffering from "space rapture" and won't see the truth. When Towers rebels Cromwell has him locked up as well as Faith and other crew members Dr. Hoffman (James Dobson) and Lt. Engstrom (Patricia Curran) but the crew turn the tables and sedate Cromwell. The deadly fungi eventually shows up everywhere, including outside the ship but on Earth Gen. Knowland (Glenn Langan, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN) has a giant CO2 cloud created which destroys the stuff (like in The Blob). 

Francine York (CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE) appears in a few scenes as Knowland's aide de camp. I suppose an argument could be made that this talky cheap sci-fi space drama influenced 2001 and Star trek (and THE GREEN SLIME!) but I have my doubts ...Director Hugo Grimaldi made this cheap science fiction melodrama the same year as the much more entertaining THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS (also with Dolores Faith)

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/4609335177952045780/6758274239790318029

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Outer Space TV

COSMIC PRINCESS-1982-Two episodes of the syndicated science fiction series SPACE:1999 edited in one full length movie. The series followed the inhabitants of an Earth space station on the moon and the adventures they have after the planet breaks away from its orbit hurling it into space. At the time it premiered on US TV it was a big deal but the sfx were terrible and it could be very boring. Martin Landau started as Commander John Koenig and his the real life wife Barbara Bain was the chief doctor, Helena Russell. Both had come to fame on the TV spy series MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE. Barry Morse (from THE FUGITIVE TV show) was in the first season but seemed to mysteriously disappear by the show's final episodes. They brought in a new character who's introduced here. It was the last project by Gary and Sylvia Anderson, creators of UFO and all the super marination stuff.

While searching for titanium the crew comes in contact with a nut named Mentor (Brian Blessed) who makes mindless slaves out of various aliens to fuel a machine that will restore his planet. 

His daughter Maya (Catherine Schell) can change into any animal. She first appears as a lion and thinks daddy is swell because she doesn't know about his evil scheme to enslave the crew. When she finds out she frees Koenig and his group and they destroy his plans and him. Maya is taken back to the ship to become a regular. In the second half Koenig and another guy are separate from the base when it goes through a space warp. Maya goes crazy and turns into a weird alien and menaces the base. Despite being the most expensive series produced by The Andersons this show is very bad on all counts. Charles Critchton and Peter Medak are the credited directors.

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