Who Knows?

 (crimereads.com)

THE SHADOW: THE CURSE OF THE COTTON KIMONO-1954-Lamont Cranston (Tom Helmore; later in Hitchcock's VERTIGO (1958)), a police psychiatrist, helps a cheerful police commissioner (Frank M. Thomas) and a dour detective (Norman Shelly) solve the murder of a seemingly innocent woman. He's assisted by girlfriend Margo Lane (Paula Raymond; THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS (1952)). The dead girl's boyfriend Bromm (William Smithers) leads Cranston to music teacher Rollo (Alexander Scourby). Cranston becomes the Shadow laughs and threatens Rollo who's killed before being of any help. 

This pretty dull TV pilot failed to impress any network and was never picked up as a series. Directed by Charlie Haas who early directed episodes of the ill-fated Dick Tracy show.

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TV Movie Gone Wrong

 

 (the moviedb.org)

THE LEGEND OF CUSTER-1968-This TV movie/pilot is based on the life of General George Custer, the arrogant, self-possessed Indian hater (Wayne Maunder) later known as the man who led his troop of solders to slaugh-ter at The Little Big Horn. Here he's only a Colonel because he's been suspended from being a General for one year due to insubordination. He's under the command of General Terry (Robert F. Simon) who wants Custer to clean up the 7^th Calvary. One of the fort's scout California Joe (Slim Pickens) is his old friend. A postal worker, Tymen (William Mims) is selling guns to the Indians who go on a rampage stealing gold and cash from white men to pay for the weapons. 

This is a real spin doctoring story (“suggested by” Larry Cohen) with the fool hardy disgraced General trying to save the west by provoking the vicious native Americans. He later somehow meets up with Crazy Horse (Michael Dante) to escape The Blackfoot tribe. They have a knife fight in a cave and eat raw worms. Custer preaches peace but Crazy only wants war. Norman Foster and Sam Wanamaker are the credited directors. Also with Mary Ann Mobley and Rodolfo Acosta.

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Un-Sold TV Series

 

 (etsy.com)

SPECTRE-1979-Arrogant supernatural investigator William Sebastian (Robert Culp) asks his ex-partner alcoholic Dr. Hamilton (Gig Young) on a case involving the Cyon family. After killing a succubus, Sebastian and Hamilton go to England on a plane piloted by Mitra Cyon (John Hurt). Inspector Cabell (Gordon Jackson) is there to greet them when they visit the burned-out house of Sebastian's friend. The demon Azmodious was accidentally sent free by Mitra’s stuck-up brother (James Villiers). It seems Mitra's sister Anitra (Ann Bell) is to be sacrificed. Also with Majel Barrett as Sebastian's housekeeper and Jenny Runacre. 

Gene Roddenberry was executive producer and co-writer of this pilot for a TV series that was rejected and shown instead in Europe as a feature film with (it's said) some nude scenes added. This was one of several TV pilots that Roddenberry was involved with in the 1970's that were never picked up. Filmed in England by director Clive Donner (WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT?) whose next theatrical release would be the “Get Smart” movie THE NUDE BOMB in 1980.

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Supernatural TV Pilot

 

 (imdb)

THE GHOST OF SIERRA DE COBRE-1964-Architect/psychic investigator Nelson Orlon (Martin Landau) is called in by Vivia Mandore (Diane Baker in Hitchcock's MARNIE and Castle's STRAITJACKET the same year), wife of Henry Mandore (Tim Simcox), a wealthy blind man who's getting strange phone calls from his dead mother. After Paulina sees a horrifying ghost, Orlon investigates. Their new housekeeper, the spooky Paulina (Dame Judith Anderson) hangs around and doesn't like Orlon because he called the ghost of her town a fake. Things are not as they seem. Leonard Stone as Mandore's business partner and Nellie Britt as another housekeeper are skeptical. 

Alternatively spooky and talky, this is a failed TV pilot turned into a full-length movie by writer Joseph Stefano (who did the screenplay for PYSCHO (1960) and many OUTER LIMITS episodes).  He took over directing (his only time as a director) when original director Robert Stevens fell ill. Future Academy Award winner Landau was in an episode of "The Twilight Zone" and "The Outer Limits" the same year. 

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Wood on TV?

 

 (youtube)

FINAL CURTAIN-1957-In an empty theater, the lead actor (Duke Moore) in the play "The Vampire" investigates the spirit world which is supposed to exist after the living have left. He thinks about various spooky things and screams when he hears the cries of a cat. Later he decides to explore. In one room he finds a life like mannequin (Jenny Stevens; also in NIGHT OF THE GHOULS) which seems to come to life. Eventually, he finds what he's looking for. 

This short film (22 minutes) was produced, written and directed by Ed Wood Jr. as a pilot for a planned TV series “Portraits in Terror”. If the scenes with the mannequin seem familiar, most of it (probably Wood's best work) was used in his NIGHT OF THE GHOULS (1959). The bombastic desperate out of control (but typical Wood) narration is by Dudley Manlove.

Once thought to be a lost film, a copy was discovered by the great grand-nephew of Paul (Kelton the Cop) Marco.

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Lookwell

 

 (tv tropes)

LOOKWELL-1991-Former TV detective Ty Lookwell (Adam West) lives in his own world where he still thinks he's a police detective. He runs an acting school for William Shatner wannabes all revolving around his short lived TV show "Bennigan" which people confuse with other TV shows like "Banacek". He tries to solve a case of stolen cars and messes up everything. 

LOOKWELL was a TV pilot co-written and co-produced by Conan O'Brien. It's pretty amusing but I don't think it would have worked as a weekly series. 

Directed by EW Swackhamer, a veteran TV director who worked on lots of TV shows since the early '60's.

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Who knows?

 (you-tube)

THE SHADOW-1954-TV PILOT-Lame attempt to bring the famous crime fighter to TV with a run of the mill murder plot as a police detective seems hell bent on arresting a young man (William Smithers) for the shooting death of his girlfriend. A pompous music teacher (Alexander Scourby) is also involved. Criminologist Lamont Cranston (Tom Helmore) and girl pal Margo Lane (Paula Raymond) investigate. 

The Shadow only appears as a flash of light but does cloud men's minds, sinisterly cackles and says his famous phrase. Director Charlie Haas later became a fairly versatile prolific TV director (Mickey Mouse Club, The Millionaire, Bonanza) but also made off beat movies like THE BEAT GENERATION and GIRLS TOWN).

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Never Got To Be Unsold

DEPUTY SERAPH-1959-This little tragedy was supposed to reunite The 3 Marx Brothers for a TV pilot but it was never finished as Chico became ill. It does consist of a few scenes but is mostly raw footage of reaction shots, close ups and flubs. Clapboards and the director are also present. The premise seems to be that two angels (Chico & Harpo) are sent to Earth to help people. Groucho is their motorcycle riding boss. Harpo and Chico play their well known instruments but that's about it. Neither Harpo or Groucho mention it in their autobiographies. I first learned of it from an article in FILMFAX.

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Unsold TV Pilot

DESTINATION SPACE-1959-In the future a space station nicknamed "Benedict's Billions" is ready to launch a manned rocket ship when it's hit by a meteor. No one is killed but this gives a headline seeking senator (Robert Cornthwaite) another reason to criticize it. Jim Benedict (Harry Townes) head of the project comes under a lot of personal criticism especially from Kim (Gail Kobe), the wife of the station's captain (Charles Aidman). John Agar is his associate Col. Matthews. Cecil Kellaway is the outspoken Dr. Andrews. Dr. Logan (John Lormer) is also aboard. After Jim gives a nice speech that kind of wins everyone over, a scientist Dr. Easton (Edward Platt) is sent along as an independent observer. Jim's girlfriend June (Whitney Blake) fits into a love triangle Jim gets caught in while trying to clean the ice build up preventing the launch. 

There's not a lot of info available on DESTINATION SPACE but now it's pretty much agreed this was actually an unsold pilot before it was released as a feature film. It certainly has that feel to it although former actor Joseph Pevney had directed many feature films (like THE MAN OF A THOUSAND FACES in 1957) by the time this was made he had already take “the leap” into TV (where he worked on many TV shows for many years to come). 

Producer/writer Rip Van Ronkel had written the screenplay for the excellent DESTINATION MOON in 1950. Much stock footage from 1955's CONQUEST OF SPACE was used too.

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Super Dog

THE ADVENTURES OF SUPER PUP-1958-Whoa! Whitney Ellsworth really hit the bottom of the barrel with this TV pilot where dogs (little people in costumes) play all the characters. At the Daily Bugle, Bark Bent (Billy Curtis, also in SUPERMAN AND THE MOLE MEN) is really Super Pup, canine crime fighter. He works for editor in chief Terry Bite (Angelo Rossitto) and his female rival on the paper is Pamela Poodle. Sergeant Beagle is an incompetent bungler dressed like a Keystone Kop. Because of his stupidity arch villain Prof. Sheepdip escapes from jail. He has his dumb henchman Wolfingham disguise himself as a clock so he can set a bomb in the newspaper offices. Bark also has an annoying mouse friend who narrates parts of the story. Later Sheepdip kidnaps Pamela and ties her ro a rocket but of course Super Pup saves her.

The costumes are really something to see. It's hard to imagine anyone over the age of 3 enjoying this, although it does have a certain “must be seen to be believed” quality. It uses the same Daily Planet set from the original human version and I think Sheepdip's hideout was used in some episodes. 

Amazingly this was done three years before the Superboy pilot!

Director Cal Howard was an animator and script writer who's worked previously for Walter Lantz, Walt Disney and Leon Schlesinger.  

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Superboy on TV (almost)

THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERBOY-1961-This was a TV pilot produced by SUPERMAN producer Whitney Ellsworth. The simple plot involves a trio of thugs who plan to rob a movie theater in Smallville. Fred, the doorman (Ross Elliot) has a son Jimmy who's kind of ashamed of his old man's occupation. For some reason to promote their new movie the theater manager has 200,000 dollars in uncut diamonds on display. One bad guy (Richard Reeves) causes a ruckus out in Bronson canyon to distract the police from their real target. 

While Superboy talks by radio to the chief of police, the other two use knockout gas on the police guards and make off with the diamonds. Superboy arrests Reeves just as he gets the word the theater has been robbed. Fortunately Fred is also a crack artist and he draws portraits of the two robbers. Superboy uses his super pressure on some coal to create new diamonds for the display and uses his super hearing as a “lie detector” to listen to Reeves' heart rate. They use Fred as “bait” to trap the robbers but it kind of backfires and Superboy instead makes the fleeing crooks crash their car. For Fred's courageous work, Jimmy wins a scholarship and his father wins Jimmy's respect.

There are interviews with the 4 different actress auditioning for Lana and then screen tests and an interview with the lead actor John Rockwell (in his costume)

This has been available as a bootleg for years and is on Youtube.

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The Fury of Hasselhof!

NICK FURY-AGENT OF SHIELD-1998-Before he became a patch wearing African-American leader of a secret US government agency, Marvel Comics character Nick Fury was a patch wearing white guy leader of a secret government agency. For some strange reason David Hasselhoff (TV's KNIGHT RIDER and BAYWATCH) is cast as Fury in this TV movie adaptation. He's terrible even when just lighting his cigar. He's too young and lacks any of the "grizzled hard-boiled roughness" that made the original tick. He seems more like comic parody.

In this Fury is called out of retirement by The President to investigate the disappearance of the body of HYDRA leader Baron Strucker (who Fury killed years before) which for another strange reason was saved in a cryogenics tank. He's joined by Contessa Valentina (Lisa Rinna) and English agent Pierce (Neil Roberts). He also meets with his former "Howlin' Commandos" buddies Dum-Dum Dugan (Garry Chalk) and Gabe (Ron Canada) and says things like "guys like you tend to cling to the bowl no matter how many times you flush" through clenched teeth while chomping on a cigar. The story revolves around Strucker's daughter (badly over acting Sandra Hess) and son (Scott Heindl) and their attempt to resurrect Hitler's "death's head virus". Peter Howarth is Arnim Zola and HYDRA agents don't wear their trademark green robes. Instead they look like CIA agents. At the end Strucker is brought back to life but fortunately for everyone no sequel was made.

Screenwriter David S. Goyer had written DEMONIC TOYS for Charles Band's company and the Jean Claude Van Damme movie DEATH WARRANT. He wrote the screenplays for BLADE (and it's sequel) and DARK CITY which were released the same year. After FURY, he was connected with several comic book projects including writing and directing BLADE:TRINITY and working on the TV series and writing Zack Synder's MAN OF STEEL. As of this writing he's working on "The Justice League of America" movie.

Australian born director Ron Hardy made FURY after a TV version of 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA and an unreleased version of ROBINSON CRUSOE starring Pierce Brosnan, He later did more TV.

Thanks for readin', ya tin plated yahoos!

Scary Clown Saturday

Wow! I was just watching what is called "the very first show" of TV's I LOVE LUCY. It's actually an un-aired pilot that led to the long running sit-com. It seems to have been broadcast live and has the usual crude early TV feel (it was made in 1949 but I've also read the date given as 1951). It's full of the usual antics with Lucy trying to get into show biz but why I'm mentioning it is at one point Desi Arnaz (who sings 3 songs) is showing off some acts for his club. He has a clown named Pepito do his act and man is this guy scary!! I'm glad I wasn't watching it late at night! He made weird noises and spoke in several different voices. Creepy!



He shows up later in the regular series so you've been warned!

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Remember Agents of S.H.E.E.S.H.?

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.-2013-This series adapted and produced by THE AVENGERS director Jess Wheldon (who directed this pilot) for ABC TV is about the special agency featured in most of the Marvel Comics movie adaptations. Despite being killed in THE AVENGERS, special agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) is back from the dead and leading the special force against a hacker group called "The Rising Tide". They also investigate a guy named Mike Patterson (J. August Richard) who has superhuman powers. The explanation why Coulson is still alive is that his death was a faked set-up to make The Avengers fight harder but obviously there's more to it. 

Ming Na-Wen plays Melinda May, their weapons expert/ pilot. Brett Dalton is the SHIELD agent asshole of the group. Chloe Bennett plays a hacker named Skye who joins the group at the end of this episode. It's set in the Marvel universe and there are brief references to some of it's super guys but it could be the Charlton universe as far as I care!

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TV Frankenstein

TALES OF FRANKENSTEIN-1958-This is the pilot for a series co-produced by Hammer Films and Columbia Pictures. German born actor Anton Diffring is Baron Frankenstein trying to create life in his laboratory. A dying artist (familiar TV actor Richard Bull) and his wife (Helen Wescott) want the Baron to help save his life but he refuses. When the artist dies Frankenstein steals his brain and uses it in his monster (stuntman-actor Don Megowan, in make-up resembling Universal's except he has no neck bolts).

When the monster awakes after his latest transplant he turns on the his creator and goes after his former wife. He dies by falling into an open grave after seeing his reflection. It's only 28 mins. long so it moves pretty fast but it's well done and an interesting look at an early TV horror tale. Ludwig Stossel and Peter Brocco are also in it. 

Hammer head honcho Michael Carrerras is listed as producer (TOF was made in between the first two Hammer Frankenstein movies). Director Curt Siodmak (who worked on several films in Universal's original Frankenstein series) does manage to give it a certain "classic" feel despite time and budget drawbacks. Siodmak also directed several episodes of the mysterious 13 DEMON STREET see:http://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2009/07/lon-is-messing-with-devil.html . It was written by Henry Kutter and his wife CL Moore, who later became successful Sci-Fi/fantasy authors. 

One story goes that the pilot never went anywhere because the two studios (I've also read Screen Gems not Columbia was the other studio) disagreed on the future of the series.

Thanks for reading (and Thanks again to my pal Tony for getting me this !)

The Professor-1958

We now move on to another "lost" pilot. A show that should have perhaps stayed lost unless you are easily entertained by nonsense (like me!). It's called THE PROFESSOR  (1958) and I have a hard time believing anyone could have made this thinking it could be sold as a series! It's too bad the director Tom McCain never made another movie. Who knows what hilarity he could have produced? Well...maybe it's just as well....

The story begins in the shoddy little lab of Dr. Wilmer, a dwarfish egghead with a funny voice. He's assisted by a nerdy guy named Mark who looks more like a bad Buddy Holly clone! Wilmer's daughter Betty also seems to assist him but she seems more interested in her newspaper reporter-boyfriend. A very weird government agent in a bow tie comes to visit. The dialogue and interaction between the characters during these scenes is incredibly goofy. The agent eventually relates the story of a Dr. Tristler who through some lab experiment gone awry has turned into a werewolf (his howl is pathetic) and is in fact prowling around the perimeter of Dr. Wilmer's lab! Wilmer and Mark do some experiments with a rabbit and a "shock ray" while elsewhere a "foreign commie" agent meets his (female) American contact in a library. He looks like something out of a silent movie with false moustace and eyebrows. The woman looks like a "typical '50's housewife"....

Meanwhile Wilmer and Mark continue their experiments while Betty waits for her boyfriend. The aforementioned werewolf prowls around outside. The boyfriend shows up for a quick make out session with Betty and a bawling out by Wilmer...

After more stilted dialogue, out of place close-ups and bad acting the two "commies" decide to invade the lab. The werewolf kills the guy and the lady (who is really an undercover reporter) is taken inside the lab. Wilmer gives a little speech about Dr. Tristler being his friend and it's over! Apparently, capturing and curing Dr.Werewolf would have to wait for the next episode!!!

This thing is crazy! Was this planned as some continuing series where the cast would try to cure the doctor? Near the end they do talk about curing him with a portable version of their "shock ray". Did the director know what he was doing? My guess is that this was suppose to be a two parter with the second part never made....

None of the cast ever went on to anything as far as I can tell with the exception of the actor who played the werewolf. Doug Hobart was his name and he was a stuntman and "live spook show" presenter. He also did make-up, SFX and production work on several low budget movies most notably two by director William Grefe: the eerie DEATH CURSE OF TARTU and the giant jellyfish drama THE STING OF DEATH (which featured Neil Sedaka). Pretty scary stuff.....

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Ed Wood on TV?

It's usually interesting to see un-aired TV pilots especially if they were made for a series that later made it to one of the networks. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND and THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW were two that featured different cast members but were never shown. The pilot for LOST IN SPACE was never aired but scenes were incorporated into an early episode after the series began.

But then there are TV pilots, some aired, some not, whose story was never sold. What happens to them? Well, thanks to modern age video tape, DVDs and e-Bay many of these unseen shows are surfacing. Most have at least something to offer: an unusual plot, one or two known (or soon to be known) actors, a future director, whatever....

Ed Wood made a TV Western pilot (in color) called CROSSROAD AVENGER in 1953. It featured former cowboy star Tom Keene as "The Tucson Kid", an Old West insurance investigator who is framed for the murder of a local sheriff by a corrupt saloon owner (Wood regular Lyle Talbot). The whole production is pretty sub-par with the actors spouting typical Wood dialogue while guided by Ed's lackluster "get it done quick" direction. A stand out scene is when "The Kid" and a prospector are caught in a night ambush. Instead of taking cover they stand out in plain sight in front of the bad guys and return fire until the prospector is shot dead!

Another ex-cowboy star Tom Tyler (who also played the banaged lead in 1940's THE MUMMY'S HAND) is the not so hip deputy. It would be his last role as he died the following year. He kind of looks like Patrick Stewart to me!

Several other "Wood veterans" are on hand: the always entertaining Harvey B. Dunn (he plays the police chief in BRIDE OF THE MONSTER) plays the talkitive prospector and Keene Duncan and Bud Osbourne round out the cast. Wood even gives himself the small role as a Pony Express rider at the begining....

Supposedly Wood filmed a sequel and combined the two into an hour adventure. Some feel if this had sold Wood's no budget "classics" would never had been made...

CROSSROADS AVENGER isn't much unless you're an Ed Wood completist but it looks like a masterpiece compared to the next "lost" pilot.......

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