Billy Dee Williams

 

THE TAKE-1974-Billy Dee Williams is Lt. Terence Sneed a San Francisco cop sent to Polima, New Mexico to investigate organized crime. He's met by Captain Dolek (Albert Salmi) and no sooner are they involved in a bloody shootout. His boss Chief Berrigan (Eddie Albert) seems frustrated. He visits his ex, Nancy (Tracy Reed) and she's not happy to see him. He meets Manso (Vic Morrow), a mobster with a bad heart and accepts his bribe. Dolek is also on his payroll. Manso also has a lawyer (Sorrell Brooke) who helps with his "investments". Sneed and Dolek investigate James (Frankie Avalon) a small time hood who cries because a cop beat him up when he was a kid. Another cop Tallbear (A. Martinez) helps Sneed out. When Sneed disobeys Manso's orders he's beaten up. 

Despite a long chase and shootout this crime action drama isn't very interesting with Sneed's actions not always making sense and a blah ending. John Chandler (MAD DOG COLL) and Kathleen Hughes (IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE) have small roles. Another “all star” action drama from director Robert Hartford-Davies (see last entry).

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Gunn

BLACK GUNN-1972-Gunn (Jim Brown) is the owner of a slick club whose brother Scotty (Herbert Jefferson Jr.) is involved with the Black Action Group, a radical faction run by Seth (Bernie Casey). He also has some stolen mob ledgers. A mob boss (Stephen McNally) puts Russ Capeli (Martin Landau) who fronts as a used car dealer in charge of getting the ledgers back. Psycho thug Krigley (Bruce Glover) and cohort Rico (William Campbell) beat up parking attendant/informer Sam Greene (MLB pitcher Vidal Blue). A congressman Carl Adams (Gary Conway) can't get a table at Gunn's club and his bigoted friend Winman (Keefe Brasselle) starts a fight and gets thrown out. Adams associate Toni (Luciana Paluzzi; THE GREEN SLIME) can't persuade Gunn. After Scotty is killed Gunn wants his killer who turns out to be Krigley. Gunn beats him up. He goes after Capeli but is captured and tortured. Fortunately the BAG Bros come to the rescue. 

The crazed ending features a bloody shootout, a car chase, explosions and Capeli being set on fire. It ends with Gunn being arrested. Deacon Jones plays himself and Timothy Brown is also in it. This all star blaxploitation crime drama by England born Robert Hartford-Davies who before coming to the US had directed CORRUPTION with Peter Cushing. He followed up GUNN with another blaxploitation movie (also made in the US) THE TAKE with Billy Dee Williams.

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Enter The Dragon Don Wilson

 

TERMINAL RUSH-1996-Deputy sheriff Jacob Harper (Don “The Dragon” Wilson) beats up rednecks at a local bar and worries about his relationship with his pregnant wife Katherine (Kate Greenhouse) who doesn't like the desert. Terrorists take over the Hoover dam and threaten to destroy it unless a ransom is paid. Jacob's dad is one of the hostages. The plan is run by stupid English snot nose, Dekker (Michael Anderson Jr.) and mercenary partner Bartel  (“Rowdy” Roddy Piper). 

This Canadian production is like a typical '80's action/martial arts action film with Piper and Anderson overacting outrageously. Director Damian Lee (FOOD OF THE GODS 2) also made ABRAXAS: GUARDIAN OF THE GALAXY with former pro-wrestler (and ex-governor) Jesse “The Body” Ventura six years before.

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Armed Response

ARMED RESPONSE-1986-In this crazed sometimes funny Fred Olen Ray action drama, David Carradine plays Jim Roth, a veteran tortured by memories of Viet-Nam who now runs a bar. His war vet father Burt is played by Lee Van Cleef! A Yakusa gang leader named Tanaka (Mako) is after a stolen statue. He dispatches two underlings, Thorton (Ross Hagen acting weird as usual) and one of Jim's brothers (David Goss) to deliver a million dollars to buy the statue from the comic duo of Laurene Landon and Dick Miller. Thorton betrays his partner and a bloody shoot out ensues. He beats it out with the money and the statue. Later Tanaka has another brother (Brent Huff) tortured with some kind of acupuncture. After he dies Jim and Burt go for revenge. Fights, shootings and explosions abound. Some of the dialogue is terrible but Tanaka's main henchmen are played by Michael Berryman and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa.

Also with Lois Hamilton, Burr DeBenning, Conan Lee and Bobbie Bresee (in one quick scene). This was one of Lee Van Cleef's last roles. He died in 1989 of a heart attack at age 63.

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Taiwan

ANGEL FORCE-1991-Taiwan sends a government rescue team to free a hostage in Burma. A guy named Peter (Wilson Lam) assembles a team (including his female partner played by Moon Lee) to do the assignment. Strangely Peter gets shot up and his partner has to take over. There's a lot of shoot-outs, fights and a motorcycle chase though the print I saw was badly dubbed and edited. It's sometimes hard to tell the good guys from the bad guys. It starts out as "cops vs gangsters" and switches to a jungle commando action film with some surprising violence. The story goes on too long with a lot of predictable twists. Yukari Oshima plays an arms dealer. Of the two directors credited one Shan Hua directed the crazy INFRA-MAN.

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Shaolin Prince

SHAOLIN PRINCE-1982-The last survivors of a clan must protect two princes. 2 "prime ministers" each take a boy and flee. This martial arts drama starts off with a bang as the guardians are attacked by warriors representing fire and water. A guy with an iron glove who can break swords is also featured. One prime minister arrives at a safe destination with one of the kids but the other  kid is thought dead. Of course he's alive and is taken in by 3 Shaolin holy fools who raise the boy in secret. The trio due a lot of slapstick Kung-Fu. During an exorcism a women grows long finger nails and kills. The "twin princes" eventually meet and team up to fight the evil "9th prince" in a truly whacked out ending! Director Chia Tang was a stunt coordinator on many films and only directed a few himself.

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Stan Lee Has a Cameo!

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN-2012-Hollywood couldn't stop when they were ahead could they? I'll say Sam Raimi's 2004 version wasn't perfect but he did a good adaptation. Why not 10 years later did they have to "re-invent" the whole thing over again?? The makers of this could have cut to the chase at least and just included a brief introduction on how the old web-head came to be but no they had to start all over again although the origins are basically the same. This time however nerdy science brain photograph taking Peter Parker has a mysterious missing father (Campbell Scott) who was once friends with the one armed Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans) now head of a technology corporation working with spiders. Flash Thompson is still the dumb muscled bully but when Peter after gaining his super powers humiliates him in front of the whole gym it's Peter who gets in trouble and receives a stern lecture from his doomed Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen). Hey! Someone has to defend bullies, right?

But in fact Peter is kind of a fuck up, acting very dysfunctional and even forgetting to do things for his devoted Aunt May (Sally Field). Later Peter strikes up a relationship with Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) who's father (Dennis Leary, Dennis Leary? Really? At least THE DARK KNIGHT had Gary Oldman) of course is the police captain trying to arrest the crime-fighter. Andrew Garfield is a total failure in the title role who instead of being the wisecracking hero is more like a smug bully himself. Connors later turns himself into The Lizard but of course instead of a being a lizard man it's a huge mutated CGI monster. The stupidest part is how The Lizard finds out Peter secret ID. After one of their encounters he finds a camera stamped "property of Peter Parker"!

Director Marc Webb (who also made the romance  (500) OF SUMMER) should stick to making Jesse McCartney videos. Unfortunately this was a hit and Part 2 is in post-production at the time of this writing. Too bad no one told him the phrase: "With great power comes great responsibility"....

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Remember Agents of S.H.E.E.S.H.?

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.-2013-This series adapted and produced by THE AVENGERS director Jess Wheldon (who directed this pilot) for ABC TV is about the special agency featured in most of the Marvel Comics movie adaptations. Despite being killed in THE AVENGERS, special agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) is back from the dead and leading the special force against a hacker group called "The Rising Tide". They also investigate a guy named Mike Patterson (J. August Richard) who has superhuman powers. The explanation why Coulson is still alive is that his death was a faked set-up to make The Avengers fight harder but obviously there's more to it. 

Ming Na-Wen plays Melinda May, their weapons expert/ pilot. Brett Dalton is the SHIELD agent asshole of the group. Chloe Bennett plays a hacker named Skye who joins the group at the end of this episode. It's set in the Marvel universe and there are brief references to some of it's super guys but it could be the Charlton universe as far as I care!

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From Thailand

GOODMAN TOWN-2002-In a post apocalyptic future Earth has been devastated (at least in Thailand where this was produced). The most prosperous place is Goodman Town and everyone wants to go there. It's run by a cruel but stupid guy named Tiger Yai. A one eyed fortune teller says that if Yai doesn't marry a certain girl in 4 days he will die. He's convinced his dream girl is the model from a newspaper ad. He offers a big reward to the one who can find her. Two of his idiot henchmen find a woman in a tattoo parlor who looks like her but they lose her when Tiger's enemies from Dark Commune attack.

The action, violence and acting are all over the top in this crazed comedy directed Sakchai Sribonnam and influenced by Miike, Tarantino and Leone.

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When Capt. America Throws His Mighty Shield...

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER-2011-Marvel' s famous WW 2 hero is finally given the big budget Hollywood treatment.

Steve Rogers (Chris Evans from THE LOSERS) is a patriotic wimpy guy who tries several times to join the army but always comes up 4-F. His best friend Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) makes it easily and goes off to war. Eventually a German doctor (Stanley Tucci) picks Rogers to be the US army's test subject in their "Super Soldier" experiment. Hugh Weaving is fine as Johan Schmidt aka The Red Skull who with his Nazi based group Hydra plans to destroy the world. He's assisted by Dr. Armin Zola (Toby Jones from HARRY POTTER AND THE DEADLY GALLOWS) looking a lot like Truman Capote.

Tommy Lee Jones is the skeptical Colonel Phillips and Hayley Atwill (the recent THE PRISONER remake) is the out of place English female officer Peggy Carter. Dominic Cooper is Howard Stark. Cap also gets help from the un-named Howlin' Commandos (Timothy McDonough as Dum Dum, Derek Luke as Gabe Jones, Kenneth Choi, JJ Feild and Bruno Ricci).

Of course it's a great action film and Evans is good in the lead role especially in his handling of the pre-super soldier Rogers. The weird twist ending features Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury. Co-executive producer Stan Lee has a cameo. Great closing credits!

Strange that this well done adaptation was made by director Joe Johnson (HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS, JUMANJI) after the overly gory THE WOLFMAN. Whoa! I can't wait for THE AVENGERS!

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Was The Book Better?

THE BOOK OF ELI-2010-In this strange big budget post-apocalyptic movie co-producer Denzel Washington is Eli, a violent loner trekking across the devastated US protecting a secret sacred book.

From what he says it seems to be....The Bible!

He kills a lot of scum with a sword, gun and bow and arrow and talks about "the war" and a "hole in the sky". He enters a town run by Carnegie (Gary Oldman) who controls the water supply and is searching for the book Eli is conveniently coveting. After more killing he leaves the town with Solara (Mila Kunis) with Carnegie in hot pursuit. Michael Gambon and Frances del la Tour play a helpful cannibal couple. It's well directed but the story drags despite the killings and the surprise conclusion isn't really worth the wait (although you do get Malcolm McDowell in an un-credited role!). Also with Jennifer Beals, Tom Waits and Ray Stevenson.

The directing brother team of Allen and Albert Hughes had previously made FROM HELL, DEAD PRESIDENTS and MENACE II SOCIETY.

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A Hex On Them!

JONAH HEX-2010-More comic book revisionist bullshit. This CGI driven action western reduces the DC comic character into another violent killing machine. It's much like any direct to video junk featuring Van Damme, Seagal or some MMA fighter on the market today except for the western setting.

Josh Brolin (very good in the role) is Hex an ex-confederate soldier who's family was murdered by crazy Confederate general Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich; also very good) who also gives Jonah is distinctive facial scars (in the comic Apaches did it). Somehow he can also talk to the dead and he carries two Gatling guns on each side of his saddle! He also has a sawed off shotgun that shoots rockets. General Grant (Aidan Quinn) enlists Hex to catch Turnbull who Hex believed to be dead. Turnbull wants to build a "super weapon" that Eli Whitney designed for the government. He wants to use it to kill everyone on the 4th of July.

Megan Fox is a prostitute Hex is sweet on. Also with Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, Tom Wopat, Lance Reddick and Rance Howard.

Strangely director Jimmy Hayward's previous effort was HORTON HEARS A WHO! Despite the nice acting by the leads and the over all excellent direction (there are some stupid parts) there's something missing from this adaptation to make it really entertaining. Oh yeah, it's not really like the comic book character....

Here's the real McCoy!:



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They're Not Hookers From Heaven

VIRGINS FROM HELL-1987-Outrageous out of control action film from Indonesia has scantily clad women on motorcycles battling the criminal activities of Mr. Tiger and his gang.

Two sisters who lead them want revenge because Tiger killed their parents. When the ladies launch one last siege against Tiger’s stronghold they are all captured and imprisoned. They are mostly abused by their male guards although the commander is a lesbian with a facial tattoo (“Get off me, you lesbo!”). Some are used as guinea pigs for a aphrodisiac drug Tiger is creating. In one nasty scene he whips two of the women who are handcuffed together. Despite the violence (one woman is put in a body bag with a live rat, another is roasted on a spit), gore (a guard is injected with a drug that causes him to melt) and crude subject matter it’s all quite cartoonish and funny, maybe due to the weird English dubbing and sound effects. In one gross scene a mystic sticks a snake into a gapping wound (for some reason…). Later, a martial artist/scientist (who had been force into making the drug) escapes and helps get revenge.

Director Ackyl Anwari made many Indonesia based films like this including ANGEL OF FURY with Cynthia Rothrock. (Thanks to my friend Tony for giving me this!)

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They Definately Live Up To Their Name!

THE EXPENDABLES-2010-Director and star Sylvester Stallone is Barney Ross who leads a mercenary group which includes Jet Li, Jason Stratham, Randy Couture and Terry Crews. Dolph Lundgren is also part of the team but gets kicked out. Ross wants Tool (Mickey Rourke) to take his place.

Despite the odd ball cast promotion most of the film is Stallone and Stratham trying to save the daughter (Giselle Itie’) of a dictator (David Zayas) who’s teamed with an ex-CIA agent (Eric Roberts, the only real actor in the group and he wasn't even featured in the ads!) who’s bodyguard is played by pro wrestler Steve Austin. Li gets to do some martial arts toward the end and the climax is an all out violent gun and hand to hand battle. The best fight occurs during this sequence. But Stallone isn’t a great director and there’s too much CGI effects. This was a real hyped up movie that fails to deliver anything that hasn’t been done already in countless direct to video movies!

As of this writing a sequel is planned to include Jean Claude Van Damme...

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Make Mine Marvel?-Part 2

FANTASTIC FOUR 2: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER-2007-The mostly miscast four (Ioan Grufford as Reed Richards, Jennifer Alba as Sue Richards, Chris Evans as Johnny Storm and Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm) returns to save the Earth from the high-flying Silver Surfer (voice of Lawrence Fishburne), herald to the planet devouring Galactus (unseen here). Director Tim Story injects a little more humor this time (and still delivers on the action scenes) but the over all story is not very good.

Andre Baugher is a cardboard army officer who decides it’s better to trust Doctor Doom than the FF. This means the film really takes a downward spiral as Julian McMahon returns to chew the scenery. Kerry Washington is back as Alicia Masters and Stan Lee has a cameo.

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Make Mine Marvel?

FANTASTIC FOUR-2005-The future super team (plus Victor Von Doom who is engaged to Sue Storm) goes into space and gets bombarded by cosmic rays. They begin to exhibit strange powers. Wow! This is kind of similar to a comic book Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created in the early ‘60’s!

Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd; Lancelot in KING ARTHUR) gets insulted a lot for being a detached egghead. Human Torch Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) is a wise-ass moron who makes you wish he'd really go up in flames. (well at least there's no Herbie the robot) Sue Storm (miscast Jennifer Alba) mostly walks around naked (but she’s invisible of course). The future Doctor Doom (Julian McMahon) likes to whisper and chew the scenery. In this version he doesn’t wear a suit of armor. He becomes one instead! Only Michael Chiklis’ Ben Grimm (aka The Ever Lovin’ Blue Eyed Thing) captures any spirit of the original comic. He needed funnier lines though. The action scenes and SFX are well done though except maybe for Mr. Fantastic’s stretching power. Director Tim Story had previously made BARBERSHOP and TAXI.

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Bond..

CASINO ROYALE-2006-It’s a ironic that the most serious and violent adaptation of a James Bond story would be the one that was first done as a comedy. Blond haired James Craig is a very different 007: a detached anti-hero with a big ego and violent tendencies. Still in a film world where every leading man is a detestable jerk, Craig at least holds your interest and makes you want to see more of him in action. The stunts and action scenes are the usual over the top kind but very well done. A murky torture scene (although part of the original novel) seems unnecessary however. Bond has a wild ride on a gasoline truck, gets poisoned and plays high stakes poker.

Craig had had supporting roles in movies like TOMB RAIDER THE ROAD TO PERDITION MUNICH and THE JACKET. Director Martin Campbell had directed GOLDENEYE with Pierce Brosnan as Bond. Also with Eva Green (from Bertolucci’s THE DREAMERS), Giancarlo Giannini, Jeffery Wright and returning Judi Dench as “M”.

The original film version of CASINO ROYALE was first adapted for American TV in the '50's with Barry Nelson as "Jimmy Bond".

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Wrestlers Or Rock Stars?

THE MARINE-2006-You would have thought after the debacle of NO HOLDS BARRED in the ‘80’s dirt bag wrestling owner Vince McMahon Jr. would have learned his lesson about making movies. But of course being the self-centered bastard that he is, Junior decided the time was right to try it again. Too bad for us all!

All he could come up with was a cheap Swartzenegger rip-off starring the guy, John Cena who at the time happened to be the champion of McMoron’s wrestling promotion. Every cliché’ in the book is thrown in. Explosions abound. It’s the kind of action flick that gives CGI a bad name. Robert Patrick is the bad guy who kills a lot of people (there’s even a TERMINATOR in joke). Director John Bonito had previously done work for wrestling on TV. Hopefully we will never hear from him again. Chuck this shit and go watch John Woo’s HARDBOILED!



TWO LANE BLACKTOP-1971-A duo drag race their way around the USA. James Taylor is The Driver and Dennis Wilson is The Mechanic. Both need acting lessons. Warren Oates is GTO another driver who challenges them to a race in Washington DC. Laurie Bird is The Girl. Harry Dean Stanton appears as a gay hitchhiker. Everyone walks around a lot and works on their cars. Sometimes they talk. Cult Director Monte Hellman made this between THE SHOOTING and COCKFIGHTER (which also featured Oates & Bird). They didn’t seem to know how to end the movie so the final scene has the film burn away. Some have said this is the ultimate road movie. I say it’s pretty boring…



GREENDALE-(2003)-A few years ago it seemed like every actor or actress would direct at least one movie in his or her lifetime. Fortunately that “trend” has kind of abated. Still egotistic nobodies like Vincent Gallo make their own movies and actually get them released so why can’t a rock and roll icon like Neil Young?

Of course this isn’t his first attempt. He directed several of his own concert films (like RUST NEVER SLEEPS) and one very bizarre “real” movie called HUMAN HIGHWAY. This is totally different from anything he has done before and in fact it’s totally different from most other films too! It’s kind of a rock opera/musical/parable, which besides writing the music he also produced and directed (under his usual pseudonym “Bernard Shakey”). It’s filmed in grainy Super 8 except for some excellent CNN like news reports. The central characters are The Green Family including their hippie father, his two sons (one a painter, one a cop killer) and his environmentalist granddaughter. There’s no dialogue. The characters only mouth Young’s lyrics at certain points in his songs. The story involves topics that usually pop up in Young’s songs: saving the environment, not trusting the government and manipulation by the media. It’s kind of experimental I guess but not all that interesting, mainly because (much like Frank Zappa’s 200 MOTELS) with the exception of two songs (“Bandit” and “Be The Rain”) the music isn’t up to Young usual standards. The director appears briefly as Wayne Newton…

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From The Cradle To The Video Bin

CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE-2003-A jewel thief (Rapper DMX) steals some black diamonds from some international gangsters (Mark Dacascos and Kelly Hu). His daughter winds up being kidnapped by them and Tiawanese government agent Jet Li comes to the rescue. There's a lot of gun battles and car chases. The best part for me is when Li gets locked in a cage and has to fight a bunch of UFC fighters (including Chuck Liddell, Tito Ortiz and Randy Couture) and a 'Mini-Me" like anouncer.

The finale fight between Li and Dacascos is pretty good too. Tom Arnold provides the comic (?) relief.


This movie would have been much better if they'd eliminated DMX's character and plotline and concentrated on Li. Polish born cinematographer Andrzeji Bartkowiak (SPEED, LETHAL WEAPON 4, DANTE'S PEAK) had previously directed ROMEO MUST DIE with Li and EXIT WOUNDS with Steven Seagal and DMX (and Tom Arnold). I think he's in a rut. He later directed DOOM starring pro wrestler The Rock.


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