Martial Arts Vs. Vampires

 

 (themoviedatabase)

LEGEND OF THE SEVEN GOLDEN VAMPIRES-1974-Transylvania 1804. A guy named Kan (Shen Chan) who once presided over the 7 Golden Vampires visits Dracula's castle to ask the king of vampires to help him resurrect the group. Dracula (John Forbes-Robinson) has a better idea. He possesses Kan's “image” and decides to resurrect the 7 himself. After the credits, in Chung King 100 years later, Prof. Van Helsing (who else but Peter Cushing) lectures on the Seven Vampires and his encounters with Dracula. The “sophisticated” Chinese students ridicule him but one student Hsi Ching (David Chiang) visits the professor at night to apol-ogize. He definitely believes in the legend as his grandfather destroyed one of the vampires. He wants Van Helsing to accompany him and his 6 brothers to the village where the remaining 6 vampires rule. Meanwhile, Van Helsing's son Leland (Robin Stewart) gets into trouble with local gangster Leung Hon, when he agrees to escort widowed world traveler Vanessa Buren (Julie Ege) home. They are saved by 2 of Hsi's brothers. Vanessa agrees to finance their expedition provided she's allowed to go. Under the protests of the elder Van Helsing, she is allowed. 

Right off the bat, they are attacked by Hon's gang. The brothers (each has a specialty) plus their lone sister Mei Kwei (Szu Shih) defeat the gang and Hon gets an arrow through his neck. Later, in the village, the group battles the remaining 6 vampires and their undead army. They destroy 3 more then get ready for a final showdown. There's a big violent martial arts battle that ends tragically for some. After the final vampire is put down, Van Helsing meets his arch enemy. Dracula's disintegration scene seems longer than their actual battle. 

This has a little of everything: martial arts, weapons, vampires, walking dead, nudity, dismemberment. No classic but not the shit show it is sometimes described as. However, this was Hammer co-production with The Shaw Brothers studio and there were a lot of “communication prob-lems” between the two directors on the film, the English Roy Ward Baker and the Chinese Cheh Chang. A sequel was planned but poor box office performance shelved that idea.

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The Original Invaders

 

 (imdb)

INVADERS FROM MARS-1953-Little David (Jimmy Hunt) who's interested in astronomy sees a UFO land near his house at night. When his scientist dad (Leif Erickson) goes to investigate, he disappears. David's mom (Hillary Brooke) calls the police. Two cops investigate (one is Douglas Kennedy) and seem to fall into a hole made in the sand. Later dad shows up, now a cold, mean zombie with a strange wound on the back of his head. After dad hits David, the cops show up also zombified. Later David sees his young neighbor fall in one of the sand holes. She comes back mesmerized and sets her house on fire. David goes to the chief of police (Bert Freed) but he's already been taken over and has Sgt. Finley (Walter Sande) put him in detention. Finley calls in Dr. Pat Blake (Helena Carter, who retired from acting after this) to examine David. She seems concerned. Mom comes to get David but it's obvious she's now “one of them”. Fortunately, Dr. Blake rescues him and takes him to see Dr. Kelston (Arthur Franz), an astronomer who believes David saw Martian invaders. Kelston contacts Col. Fielding (Morris Ankrum) and Capt. Roth (Milburn Stone). The taken over people start sabotaging things. When Pat & David are captured, we finally see the aliens, tall green guys with bulging eyes who obey a weird golden head (Luce Potter) who speaks telepathically. 

I won't reveal the “shock ending” although everyone probably knows it already! Also with (mostly all uncredited) William Phipps, Fay Baker, Peter Brocco, Richard Deacon, John Eldredge, Tod Karns, Robert Shayne, Frank Wilcox and Lock Martin. 

This science fiction film released by 20^th Century-Fox was filmed in SuperCineColor, a three-color process invented in 1948 but only used till around 1954. Despite a fairly low budget, director John Cameron Menzies uses unusual camera angles and almost surreal set pieces.

 (imdb)

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Lake Zombies

 

 (imdb)

GHOST LAKE-2004-This young woman Rebecca (Tatum Adair) feels guilt over the death of her parents who were killed by a gas leak while she was having sex in a car. She goes to her parents' house in upstate NY. She meets a neighbor. Stan, who helps her put the lights on. He's semi-suspicious. She has hallucinations of her parents blaming her. While out jogging she says hello to a fisherman but he ignores her. Then she meets a talkative little girl and a rude dickhead fisherman who is pulled into the water by a glowing figure. After having some strange dreams and hearing weird noises, the little girl shows up in her house while she's outside stargazing and swimming with Stan. She sees the body of the dead fisherman but when authorities check they find nothing. The ignorant sheriff (Gregory Lee Kenyon; a terrible actor) who says Stan killed his own father, tells the story of a town that was once where the lake is and an old man and his submerged house. Later in a cemetery she’s terrorized by the dead fisherman. She conveniently meets Stan who says the sheriff is involved with drug pushing. There are a few zombies. 

This a pretty messed up waste of time with bad sfx and too much talk. And it's long (an hour and 52 minutes gone forever!). Writer/director Jay Woelfel also made TRANCERS 6 (2002).

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Don't Look A Zombie In The Mouth If He Has A Gift For You

 

 (themoviedb.org)

THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS-2016-Some whacko who didn't like children must have come up with the premise for this UK production. A fungus has turned the human race into noisy cannibalistic zombies. Some mad scientists, led by Dr. Caldwell (Glen Close) experiment on children trying to find a cure. Later, some of them escape with a young girl, Melanie (Sennia Nanua), a 10-year-old cannibal child with a high IQ. It seems she may be heralding a new kind of human.

Screenplay writer Mike Carey adapted his own book. Director Colm Mc-Carthy worked mostly on TV in England before this.

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They're Dead. They're...All Messed Up

 

 (themoviedb.org)

THE DEAD-(2010)-Lt. Brian Murphy (Rob Freeman), an America air force engineer, is the last survivor of a plane crash in West Africa during a zombie apocalypse. He fixes up an old car and journeys across the plains. He meets AWOL army officer Daniel (Prince David Osei) who's looking for his son and doesn't understand white men. Meanwhile, the army is killing all those infected. 

I liked this because the zombies were the slow-moving traditional kind. It's very gory. The end could have been better. Directors Howard J. and Jonathan Ford made THE DEAD 2: INDIA in 2013.

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For You My Friend, They Are The Angels of Death…

 

WHITE ZOMBIE-1932-In Haiti, a couple, Neil (John Harron) and Madeline (Madge Bellamy) are to be married in the home of Mr. Beaumont (Robert Frazer), a weird guy who's obviously obsessed with Madeline. They meet the friendly eccentric Dr. Bruner (Joseph Cawthorn) who is to marry them. While being driven to Beaumont’s plantation, they run into a bunch of guys their driver (Clarence Muse) says are zombies. Beaumont visits 'Murder” Legendre and his mill of zombie workers. He wants Madeline all to himself. Legendre suggests turning her into a zombie. Beaumont doesn't go for the idea. But Legendre has his own agenda. He casts a spell that seems to make her die. 

Poor Neil takes to drink and hallucinates. Legendre and Beaumont visit Madeline's tomb and his zombie servants (all former enemies) remove her coffin. Neil discovers the empty tomb and freaks out. Dr. Bruner explains that the zombies aren't really dead. They are just under a spell. Soon Madeline is up and about and playing the piano for Beaumont but now she's just an empty shell. Beaumont realizes his mistake and begs Legendre to return her to her living state. Instead, Legendre turns Beaumont into a zombie because he “has other plans” for Madeline. Beaumont's sneaky butler Silver (Brandon Hurst) is thrown in the water to drown (he holds his nose before being dunked). Neil & Bruner get help from witch doctor Pierre (Dan Crimmins). Neil gets to the castle but collapses. Legendre finds him and commands Madeline to stab him. 

This is a low budget but eerie independent horror film with a nice climax and Lugosi great as the smirking evil power mad villain. Makeup by Jack Pierce. Director Victor Halperin later made REVOLT OF THE ZOMBIES (1936). His brother Edward was the producer.

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Goblin

 

 (imdb)

GOBLIN-2020-A goblin hiding in the basement of a newlywed couple's basement (summoned by the previous owner) kills in various extremely gory ways. The acting isn't great and there's some sound problems but at least it isn't full of itself. After the goblin is killed, zombies attack and kill the rest of the cast. The director Scott Lando directed other movies and was also a cinematographer.

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Monster Rule Ok!

 

 (imdb)

THE MONSTER CLUB-1981-Aramis (Vincent Price), a vampire bites R. Chetwynd Hayes (John Carradine), the horror writer. Aramis then takes the writer to “The Monster Club” so he can get some ideas and The Viewers do “Monsters Rule OK”. After Aramis explains the genealogy of vampires and werewolves we get our first story in this anthology. A con artist couple have a scheme to swindle a lonely unusual looking guy Raven (James Laurenson) when the girl Angela (Barbara Kellerman) helps him catalog his collections. He creeps her out but she also feels sorry for him. Her boyfriend George (Simon Ward) wants to make a big score and when the guy proposes George wants her to marry him. Raven says he is a “shadmock” and can never whistle. He throws a costume party with his relatives. Angela is caught robbing his safe and he whistles turning her into a monstrosity much to the surprise of George when she visits him. 

BA Robertson performs. Then, vampire/film producer Limton Busotsky (Anthony Steel) shows a scene from his upcoming movie. This is the second story, a young, bullied boy wonders about the night work his father (Richard Johnson) does. His mother (Britt Ekland) says he was a nobleman in Europe. A priest (Donald Pleasence) urges the boy to discover why dad sleeps all day. The boy discovers dad is a vampire and the priest is a vampire hunter. The vampire turns the tables on his hunters in the comical finale. 

Then the band Night performs “Stripper”. The 3rd story is about a “Humgoo”. A grouchy American director (Stuart Whitman) goes to scout a shooting sight in a remote village. An old man (Patrick Magee) tells him the village is run by The Elders. The decrepit townspeople force him to stay. He meets a young girl Luna (Lesley Dunlop) who informs him that the whole village is made up of ghouls. From a diary he learns how some evil ghouls took over the village. The only place they won't go is a church, so he hides out there with Luna, who is half human. They escape but Luna is killed. He's picked up by some ghoul policemen and taken back for “the great eating”. In the end, Aramis makes a great case for allowing a “hume” in the club. Everyone dances to The Pretty Things doing the title song. 

This was the last film produced by Milton Subotsky, who in the 1970's, along with his partner Max J. Rosenberg produced many horror films under the Amicus banner. This was an independent production, however. 

The stories are based on ones written by real horror & ghost story writer R. Chetwynd Hayes who didn't like the movie or Carradine's portrayal of him (he thought the actor too old). The filmmakers had wanted Sir Christopher Lee but he turned it down. It's also the last film directed by the great Roy Ward Baker. Most folks seem to run this movie down and admittedly it's no classic, it's just a fun combo of horror, comedy and music.

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Korean Zombie Attack

 

 (wallpapercave.com)

TRAIN TO BUSAN-2016-A workaholic father (Gong Yoo) having relationship problems with his young daughter (Soo-an Kim) are trapped on a moving train when an outbreak causes people to turn into violent bloodthirsty zombies! It's an insane roller Coaster ride as passengers fight for survival. There's suspense, gore, action and a heart wrenching conclusion in this South Korean production directed by Yeon Sang Ho.

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Rise Of The Rip-Off

 

 

 (imdb)

RISE OF THE ZOMBIES-2012-A group from a research lab venture into the city because they believe a cure for a zombie plague is there, created by a scientist (French Stewart) with a monkey. Meanwhile another scientist (Levar Burton) stays behind doing experiments on the living dead (including his wife). This is another blatant rip-off from The Asylum, this time copying Romero's Dead series (especially DAY). The cast (including Mariel Hemingway, Danny Trejo, Ethan Suplee, Heather Hemmens) is whittled down and eaten. 

Director Nick Lyon also made ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE (2011).

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Kudzu To You

 

 (imdb)

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ATTACK OF THE SOUTHERN FRIED ZOMBIES-2017-Scientists working on a way to control the ever-present kudzu plant in Mississippi turn locals into zombies in this horror gore comedy. The pilot of a crop duster tries to get dumb locals to help destroy the zombies. Director Mark Newton has made other movies featuring zombies.

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Trio!

 

 (imdb)

LETHAL VIRUS-2021-Terrible, laughable nonsense about a virus that turns people into cannibalistic zombies ala 28 DAYS LATER and THE CRAZIES. The acting is terrible and the sfx are garbage. Director Daniel Hernandez Torrado should stop...Now!

 themoviedb.org)

ROBOT APOCALYPSE-2021-A bunch of stupid hackers wind up trying to stop a sentient AI that's gained control of the US army's drones. Former mixed martial artist Tito Ortiz is one of the stars, so don't say I didn't warn you. Low budget Sci Fi junk from director Marcus Friendlander.

 (Mubi)

THE MOVIES OF HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS AND THE ORIGINS OF SPLATTER-2022-Great short to the point documentary about Herschell Gordon Lewis and the rise of the gore or splatter films and the movies he made that help start it. It gives a good basic look at his "blood trilogy" and the horror movies that followed. It's a YouTube video created by Ben Simpson on his channel.

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Cry Uncle

 

 (themoviedb.org)

MY UNCLE JOHN IS A ZOMBIE-2016-Years after a zombie apocalypse, some of the undead can co-exist with humans, especially a smart ass named Uncle John (John Russo, a co-executive producer who wrote the screenplay and co-directed). He's interviewed by a reporter Mandy. His niece Cy Fi & nephew Oscar take care of him. Detective Smart investigates some murders that may have been committed by John. It's also a takeoff on reality shows. Lloyd Kaufman shows up to promote Troma. Terrible acting. Russell Streiner (from the original) and Debra Rochon have small roles 

This kind of vanity production seems to be washed up writer Russo's last desperate attempt to gain the stardom he's craved since penning NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD in 1968. He also wrote some of the dumb songs.

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Atomic Bug Zapper

 

LET SLEEPING CORPSES LIE-1974-After a woman runs nude in the streets of London, Edna (Christine Galbo) and George (Ray Lovelock, who was FIDDLER ON THE ROOF in 1971) meet when she backs into his motorcycle and it needs repairs. They get lost trying to find her destination in the English countryside. George leaves Edna alone in the car to ask directions and runs into a group from the Ministry of Agriculture trying to kill insects with ultrasonic waves. Edna is attacked by a zombie-like man but she escapes. A local says it sounds like a loony who's dead. 

Meanwhile Edna's weird photographer brother-in-law Martin (Jose Lifante) takes pictures of a waterfall while his drug addicted wife, Edna's sister Katie (Jeannine Mestre), is terrorized by the zombie guy who kills Martin. A grouchy, hippie hating police inspector (Arthur Kennedy) investigates and accuses Katie of the murder). He doesn't believe Edna when she says the same man who attacked her sister attacked her too. She and George go to a cemetery to check out the dead guy's grave and are attacked by some newly resurrected zombies. They and a police man get trapped in a mausoleum. The cop tries to get to a radio he dropped outside and is killed and eaten. Later when another cop is killed, the stupid inspector arrests George for murder. It would seem a new nuclear powered bug zapper is causing the dead to rise. In the end, Kennedy kills George thinking he's responsible for all the deaths but George gets even…..

Slowly paced horror has some gory deaths but Kennedy's character is ridiculous. Partially filmed in UK, this Italian production was directed by Jorge Grau. Also known as THE LIVING DEAD AT THE MANCHESTER MORGUE.

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Solar Times 2

 

 (amazon)

SOLAR DESTRUCTION-2008-Solar flares threaten Earth. A 15-year-old math genius asshole (Chris Brochu) predicts what will happen but nobody believes him even after two scientists (Tracey Gold, Cliff DeYoung) back him up. An evil rich guy works against them. I've seen worst but this is pretty bad. The acting really blows. Low budget boredom from director Fred Olen Ray. Aka SOLAR FLARE.

 (the moviedb.org)

SOLAR IMPACT-2019-Forgettable 28 DAYS LATER rip-off about a group of dummies trying to survive after solar debris has turned most of the population of England into crazed zombies. Later it becomes a NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD talk fest. Directed by Craig Tudor James.

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Dead Graffiti

 

 (themoviedb)

MESSIAH OF EVIL-1973-From a mental hospital, a woman Arletty (Mariana Hill; she was in THE GODFATHER PART 2 the same year) tells the story of how she went to a town called Point Doom looking for her estranged father. Stopping for gas, the attendant (Charles Dierkop) acts weird and gives her a warning. He gets very perturbed when a big albino stops for gas with two dead bodies in his pickup. The attendant is killed a little later. 

While snooping around town Arletty meets a freaky art dealer and his blind mother and talkative town drunk Charlie (Elisha Cook Jr.) who talks about the blood red moon and people bleeding. She meets dandy Thom (Michael Greer; FORTUNE AND MEN'S EYES) who seems interested in the legend of the blood moon, and his two female companions the stuck-up snob Laura (Anitra Ford) and the dumb Toni (Joy Bang). Later after a lot of talk, Laura decides to leave. She hitches a ride with the albino (Bernie Robinson) who eats a rat. She wanders around town, goes to a supermarket and sees a bunch of weird people eating raw meat. They chase her down and eat her. Meanwhile, Arletty reads from Dad's diary. Poor Toni! She goes to see a movie and is attacked and eaten by the audience. Thom wanders around town. Dad (Royal Dano) shows up to explain the story of a dark stranger who had been part of the Donner party. It's not a good reunion though. Arletty sets her dad on fire. Then she tries to kill Thom. The dark stranger comes back too…

The directing and writing credits of this low budget bizarro horror film go to the husband-and-wife duo of Williard Hyuck and Gloria Katz who the year before had written the screenplay of AMERICAN GRAFFITI (they also have cameos as zombies). It is a kind of eerie movie but some parts don't make sense. Some critics have praised it as a “neglected masterpiece”. Re-released under the title DEAD PEOPLE.

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Im Waiting for The Asylum Apocalypse

 

 (tmdb)

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE-2011-This typical Asylum rip off of DAY OF THE DEAD and 28 DAYS LATER features gory CGI sfx while characters scream at each other in between running and killing zombies. They even thrown Ving Rhames in one of the lead roles (He was in the big budgeted DAY OF THE DEAD (2008)). Avoid this "SyFy channel" presentation directed by Nick Lyon.

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Eat It

 

 (imdb)

I EAT YOUR SKIN-1971-After a voodoo ceremony where a woman is decapitated, a publisher named Fairchild (Dan Stapleton) goes to "Voodoo Island" with his wise cracking wife Coral (Betty Wyatt Linton) and an arrogant womanizing playboy writer Tom Harris (William Joyce). After an encounter with a bug-eyed zombie, they meet Bentley (Walter Coy), the overseer of a plantation. Later they meet Doctor Biladeau (Robert Stanton) who is working on a cure for cancer and his daughter Jeannie (Heather Hewitt) who Harris tries to put the moves on. The doctor tells them about a local plant that the natives use "like we use alcohol". After dinner when Harris and Jeannie get romantic, they are attacked by some zombies who try to kidnap Jeannie but Harris thwarts them. 

There's another wild voodoo dance ritual and after Harris and Jeannie have sex, they find a shack full of deformed comatose zombies. Later they discover her dad turning people into zombies with radiation bombarded snake venom. It turns out the forgotten about Bentley is behind it all trying to create enough zombies to rule the world. 

Low budget horror that really isn't as bad as its reputation. Writer/director Del Tenney had made HORROR OF PARTY BEACH and CURSE OF THE LIVING CORPSE in the '60's.

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Canadien Zombies

 

 (imdb)

CORPSE EATERS-1974-This was made in Canada by a guy who owned a drive-in. It starts off with a warning that a "green man'" will appear when something bad will happen. Then a mortician prepares a customer for display while his boss drives and rants. Then 3 couples ride around endlessly in a motorboat. When they finally stop to relax, 2 of the women go topless. They decide to visit a graveyard. A storm kicks up and they take shelter in a mausoleum. When one of the guys recites some kind of black mass prayer, the dead come back to life and attack the group. 3 are killed but one couple and a wounded guy escape. They go to a hospital where the guy dies on the operating table. The woman becomes "infected" and kills her boyfriend and a nurse. Then the alcoholic undertaker seems to be eaten by his clients but it ends with him being put in a straitjacket in a mental hospital (?). 

Director Klaus Vetter also served as cinematographer.

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7 Dummies

 

(imdb)

7 MUMMIES-2006-Idiotic supernatural western nonsense about a group of convicts who escape their transport truck and head into the desert with a female prison guard hostage. After a crazy local (Danny Trejo) tells them about some hidden gold, they decide to search for it and wind up in an old west town occupied by zombie vampires, led by Drake (Billy Drago). Martin Kove is a bar owner. The director Nick Quested had been a music video director before this.

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