They're Dead. They're...All Messed Up

 

 (themoviedb.org)

THE DEAD-(2010)-Lt. Brian Murphy (Rob Freeman), an America air force engineer, is the last survivor of a plane crash in West Africa during a zombie apocalypse. He fixes up an old car and journeys across the plains. He meets AWOL army officer Daniel (Prince David Osei) who's looking for his son and doesn't understand white men. Meanwhile, the army is killing all those infected. 

I liked this because the zombies were the slow-moving traditional kind. It's very gory. The end could have been better. Directors Howard J. and Jonathan Ford made THE DEAD 2: INDIA in 2013.

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Goblin

 

 (imdb)

GOBLIN-2020-A goblin hiding in the basement of a newlywed couple's basement (summoned by the previous owner) kills in various extremely gory ways. The acting isn't great and there's some sound problems but at least it isn't full of itself. After the goblin is killed, zombies attack and kill the rest of the cast. The director Scott Lando directed other movies and was also a cinematographer.

Thanks for reading and Happy Mother's Day to all you mother out there!

Fulci!

 

 (imdb)

NIGHTMARE CONCERT (A CAT IN THE BRAIN)-1990-A cannibal eats part of a dead body and grinds up the rest and feeds it to his hogs but it's just a film being directed by Dr. Lucio Fulci (the director playing a fictitious version of himself) who seems to be losing his mind from making too many horror films. While making his latest, he has some bizarre visions and looks like he might be a murderer. There's lots of gore, much of it from two of his previous movies (plus scenes from some other movies). 

Of course, it's all in the director's mind thanks to a crazed serial killing psychiatrist (David L. Thompson, who kind of looks like Foster Brooks) who's hypnotized Fulci and done all the real killings. Nice false ending but not one of his best. The comparisons to Fellini's 81/2 aren't really warranted.

(imdb)

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Directors Act!

 

 

 

 (imdb)

VIOLENT SHIT: THE MOVIE-2015-This is a kind of Italian remake/sequel to a German series of movies by Andreas Schnaas (who has a small role in this). An Italian cop (director Enzo G. Castellari) and a German cop (Steve Aquilina) investigate the ritual killings that seem to be tied to tectonic serial killer Karl the butcher. Meanwhile the bald pasty-faced Prof. Vassago (Giovanni Lombardo Radice) talks about Attila the Hun. Occasionally a guy in a metal mask kills people. Directors Lucio Fulci and Luigi Cozzi also have small roles. 

 Radice under the name John Morghen is better known for his roles in Italian cannibal films like CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980) and CANNIBAL FEROX (1981). This is drawn out garbage with lots of talk and excessively gory in spots. The music is by Claudio Simonetti. This Italian/Germany production was directed by Luigi Pastore.

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Lovecraftian

 

 (themoviedb.org)

FROM BEYOND-1986-Dr. Tillingast (Jeffery Combs) is accused of killing his superior Dr. Pretorius (Ted Sorel) who's found decapitated. He says something bit off Pretorius' head. They were working on a machine dubbed “the Pretorius resonator”) that stimulates the pineal gland. A notorious psychiatrist Katherine McMichaels (Barbra Crampton) doesn't believe Tillingast is insane and takes him back to where they were experimenting. Police Sgt. Brownlee (Ken Foree) accompanies them. They turn on the machine and meet the nude reanimated body of Dr. P. He turns into a whatziz and almost eats them but Tillingast turns the machine off. McMichael becomes obsessed with learning more. After almost being eaten again, she escapes and after doing her famous s & m scene has to fight the bizarrely transformed Pretorius. Later everyone thinks she's insane. A crazed female doctor wants her to have shock therapy. She escapes and Tillingast runs around the hospital killing people. When she returns to destroy the resonator, Tillingast kidnaps her. Pretorius somehow returns and terrorizes her. She defeats him and goes insane. 

A lot of disgusting SFX (by a huge crew) made this a cult film but Crampton helped too. She was later on the TV soap operas “The Guiding Light” and “The Bold and The Beautiful”. Conceptual art by Neal Adams. An Empire Pictures release, filmed in Italy, Charles Band was one of the producers. 

Director Stuart Gordon had already become a cult like director after making RE-ANIMATOR (1985), also with Crampton & Combs. Producer Brian Yuzna co-wrote the screenplay with Dennis Paoli based on the HP Lovecraft short story “From Beyond”. A more recent adaptation of the same story is BANSHEE CHAPTER (2013).

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Alligator

 

 (wikipedia)

ALLIGATOR-1980-12 years after a stupid father flushes a baby alligator down the toilet, body parts and dead dogs are found by police in the sewer system. Detective Madison (Robert Forster) and his jerky new partner Kelly (Perry Lang) investigate. When Kelly is killed, everyone including his chief (Michael Gazzo) thinks Madison is nuts and incompetent because his partner before Kelly was also killed. Snake expert Dr. Kendall (Robin Riker) isn't much help. 

The first victim is a pet shop owner (Sydney Lassick) who's illegally supplying dogs for experiments. After a sanctimonious reporter (Bart Baverman) is killed and some of his photos show an alligator, an all-out manhunt is launched. The giant lizard bites off the leg of a policeman. The mayor (Jack Carter) calls in Col. Brock (Henry Silva), a pompous big game hunter. Madison ties the mutant to Slade Industrial, run by old fart Mr. Slade (Dean Jagger) who had ties with the corrupt mayor. 

The best part is when the alligator crashes Slade's daughter's wedding. Sue Lyon (in her last movie) has a small role as a reporter as does Mike Mazurki. John Sayles wrote the clever script and Lewis Teague directed before he made bigger budgeted films like CUJO (1983), CAT'S EYE (1985) and THE JEWEL OF THE NILE (1985).

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Atomic Bug Zapper

 

LET SLEEPING CORPSES LIE-1974-After a woman runs nude in the streets of London, Edna (Christine Galbo) and George (Ray Lovelock, who was FIDDLER ON THE ROOF in 1971) meet when she backs into his motorcycle and it needs repairs. They get lost trying to find her destination in the English countryside. George leaves Edna alone in the car to ask directions and runs into a group from the Ministry of Agriculture trying to kill insects with ultrasonic waves. Edna is attacked by a zombie-like man but she escapes. A local says it sounds like a loony who's dead. 

Meanwhile Edna's weird photographer brother-in-law Martin (Jose Lifante) takes pictures of a waterfall while his drug addicted wife, Edna's sister Katie (Jeannine Mestre), is terrorized by the zombie guy who kills Martin. A grouchy, hippie hating police inspector (Arthur Kennedy) investigates and accuses Katie of the murder). He doesn't believe Edna when she says the same man who attacked her sister attacked her too. She and George go to a cemetery to check out the dead guy's grave and are attacked by some newly resurrected zombies. They and a police man get trapped in a mausoleum. The cop tries to get to a radio he dropped outside and is killed and eaten. Later when another cop is killed, the stupid inspector arrests George for murder. It would seem a new nuclear powered bug zapper is causing the dead to rise. In the end, Kennedy kills George thinking he's responsible for all the deaths but George gets even…..

Slowly paced horror has some gory deaths but Kennedy's character is ridiculous. Partially filmed in UK, this Italian production was directed by Jorge Grau. Also known as THE LIVING DEAD AT THE MANCHESTER MORGUE.

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TV J-Horror

 

 (amazon.com)

CROW'S BLOOD-2016-Gruesome horror mini-series from Japan about a very strange schoolgirl who seems to have evil powers thanks to her scientist dad's experiments. Very gory and mysterious. Great stuff but not for everyone. It made its US debut on the now defunct El Rey TV network. Directed by Ryo Nishimura.

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Children...

 

 

 (wikipedia)

CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT-1991-Dumb vampire tale produced by Fangoria Magazine. In the small town of Allburg,vampires are running around killing locals. A stupid priest Alden (Evan McKenzie) keeps a mother and daughter locked in his attic. A schoolteacher (Karen Black) saves Lucy (Ami Dolenz), a high school student, from her vampire grandmother. After they put a stake in her, they try to rescue a cop held by the vampires but that doesn't work. They're pursued but the town drunk (Garrett Morris) saves them. He relates the story of how a priest killed himself and some children. The finale is pretty good with the drunk saving the day. Some bad acting and disgusting sfx are thrown in. 

The director Tony Randel had previously made HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER 2 (1998) and later made TICKS (1993) and a live action version of FIST OF THE NORTH STAR (1995).

Thanks for reading! Happy 4th of July!

Can't Keep A Good Astro-Zombie Down

 

ASTRO-ZOMBIES M3:CLONED-2010-They're back! First an Astro-Zombie kills a cat food eating old woman. Then a guy gives a talk about a book he wrote (there's only one person in the audience) claiming he has reptilian blood in him. He's visited by two strange men. Then in Area 51 an army general (co-writer/director Ted V. Mikels) orders the reopening of the "Astro Men” project. He wants to clone thousands of them to use as "expendable soldiers". His drunken twin brother (also Mikels) says he's discovered a way to control them. Meanwhile some Men In Black working for the government wander around. A dumb workaholic scientist thinks she's able to control the Astros. Tura Santan's image from the original film appears as a hologram and John Carradine's phony head also makes an appearance. A senator calls Serena (Francine York), leader of "The Doll Squad" to help. One girl is held captive in a cave while her busty companions fight the zombies with blow darts that can blow them up. I guess the intentionally comical ending was the only way to go. It kind of sets up a part 4 (which Mikels, who passed away on 2016 at the age of 87, made 2 years later). Most of this is undermined by long stretches of talk by bad actors. The best parts are when the astro-zombies attack.

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Again?!

 

 (wikipedia)

TEXAS CHAINSAW-(3D)-2013-A young woman named Heather (Alexandria Daddario) finds out she's related to the infamous bloodthirsty "family" from the original 1972 movie after her grandmother dies and leaves her a mansion in Newt, Texas. She drives there with her boyfriend (Trey Songz) and another couple. Along the way, they pick up a hitchhiker (who turns out to be the first victim). Yes, bad old Leatherface (her cousin Jed Sawyer) is still alive and seeking revenge on the mayor and the other inbred hicks who killed "their family". A deputy Carl (Scott Eastman) seems helpful but turns out to be redneck scum too. Sadistic, graphic, idiotic excuse to turn Leatherface (Dan Yeager) into a hero but since he's a work of fiction and the white cracker hillbillies really exist well who am I to criticize? Thank God for African American sheriffs! And they all lived happily ever after. 

What's wrong with filmmakers today? 

Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen and Marilyn Burns have small roles (the last for Hansen and Burns).

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Up On Blood Creek

 

 (imdb)

BLOOD CREEK-2009-In 1936 West Virginia, a conceited Teutonic Nazi Mr. Wirth (Michael Fessbender) visits a German family, looking for rune stones for The Third Reich. When their little daughter's bird dies he brings it back to life. Back in the present EMT worker Evan Marshall (Henry Cavill) takes care of his father (who blames him for his brother Victor's disappearance) and argues with his sister in law about her kids needing hope. One night his brother Victor (Dominic Purcell) shows up ranting and looking like a deranged hillbilly. He takes Evan to the very same shack from 1936 where he's been held prisoner for 2 years. Wirth is now a supernatural creature who can bring back the dead but needs blood. He sends dead horses to attack and puts a spike in his own head. Lots of bloody sfx and as usual not much else. Directed by Joel Schumacher in Romania.

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Filmed In Ohio

 

CANDY CORN-2019-A poor geek named Jacob (Nate Chaney) who works at Dr. Death's carnival is killed by 4 asshole punks. His little person boss Dr. Death (Pancho Moler) brings him back to life with some occult mask. He kills his attackers in various ways (he pulls one guy's spine out) and sheriff Sam Bramford (Courtney Gains) investigates. The killer pulls the tongue out of a girl who wasn't even one of the killers in an empty movie theater showing THE PHANTOM CREEPS. The instigator of the whole bullying thing is Mike, the sheriff's son who gets pretty fucked up by Jacob. 

PJ Soles appears as Sam's dispatcher and Tony Todd (an executive producer) has a small role. Bad script and acting doom this gory revenge tale directed by Josh Hasty.

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3 Dead

 

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD-3D-2006-Just because George Romero's original classic is in the public domain, any sucker shouldn't be allowed to remake NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD on a whim. Yes, another remake with gory SFX and some outrageous plot additions. It's useless but Sid Haig plays a crazy mortician. Unfortunately director Jeff Broadstreet made a sequel to this a few years later called NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 3D: RE-ANIMATION. (It's actually a prequel...)

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More Fulci Zombies!

CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD-1980-In Dunwich, a priest hangs himself in a graveyard while in New York at a seance a woman named Mary (Catriona MacColl) screams “The city of the dead!” then dies. A cop believes it all has to with drugs (“What are you on? Coke? Grass? Where's the stash? Down the toilet?”). Back in Dunwich, a weirdo named Bob (John Morghen aka Giovanni Lombardo Radice) starts to fool around with an inflatable love doll and finds a rotting corpse. 

Back in NY, Peter Bell (Christopher George), a news reporter goes to visit the seance place but is turned away by a cop. Back in Dunwich, some guys at a bar see the walls crack out and smoke comes out. One of the guys blames the strange-ness on the priest who killed himself. Then Gerry (Carlo de Mejo), a psychiatrist is interrupted while asking his patient Sandra (Janet Agren) about her childhood. 

Back in NY, Jerry saves Mary (who's alive in her coffin now) from being buried alive (and almost kills her!). They meet with Theresa (Adelaide Aste), the woman who ran the seance and she tells Peter about “the book of Enoch” while Mary mentions Dunwich being the city of the dead and that the gates of hell are being opened again and if they aren't closed the dead will walk. 

Later Jerry's friend Emily (Antonella Interlenghi) meets Bob at a gas station and the dead priest shows up and rubs worms in her face. Then a man and woman making out in a car see the dead priest hanging around (literally). He makes the woman's eyes bleed and she upchucks worms and stuff that looks like intestines before someone rips the top of the guy's head off. Peter and Mary go to Dunwich while Bob is blamed for the murders. It seems for some reason that the priest's suicide is opening the gate to hell. At night a creepy coroner is attacked and Emily's little brother John John (Luca Paisner) sees a sinister apparition. Meanwhile Bob wanders around while Jerry and Sandra find the corpse of an old lady in Sandra's kitchen. Bob for some reason is hanging out in Emily's father's car and when the father sees them together he kills Bob by sticking his head into some kind of rotating drill. Peter and Mary meet Jerry and Sandra in a cemetery and they are attacked by a tornado of worms and maggots. Then Jerry gets a call from John John saying that Emily has killed their parents. The quartet hurry to find a solution before All Saints Day comes. Sandra takes John John home but is killed by a ghoul faced Emily. Bloody, gory faced zombies terrorize John John but he's saved by Jerry. It seems some of the zombies are hallucinations. 

Zombies attack the local bar and kill and eat the bartender and his two lone customers. Meantime, now a trio Peter, Mary and Jerry investigate the priest's tomb and some underground tunnels where they meet a zombified Sandra who promptly kills Peter. Rats waste no time in eating his brain. Mary almost goes the “vomiting maggots” route but Jerry kills Sandra. After further snooping Mary and Jerry are trapped by the undead and the hanging priest. Just when Mary starts to bleed from the eyes, Jerry guts the priest with a wooden cross and he burns up (?). His minions burn too. Jerry and Mary are reunited with John John. But something is wrong. Mary screams as the scene breaks up.  

Although he had already made the notorious ZOMBIE (and several other successful projects), Italian director Lucio Fulci really hit his stride with this episodic baffling gory horror story. Though incomprehensible and slow going at times, Fulci packs stomach churning SFX, eerie apparitions and some good suspense scenes so the viewer only has time to wonder once or twice as to what's going on. The abrupt cheat ending seems to have evolved from the actually end scene having been destroyed accidentally while it was being developed. The producers would not allow Fulci to re-shoot so he kind of said “screw it”. Co-star Morghen was in several other Italian horror productions (CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE, CANNIBAL FEROX) where his character also came to a bad end. Director Fulci appears un-billed as a doctor. It also features journeyman actor Robert Sampson as the local sheriff and future director Michele Soavi.   

I saw this in a theater way back in 1980 under it's US edited title THE GATES OF HELL.

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Early For Christmas

SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT-1984-On Christmas Eve in 1971 a young boy is told by his senile grandpa that Santa will punish him and his brother on Christmas. Later the boy named Billy sees his parents killed by an intruder dressed as St. Nick (Charles Dierkop). Three years later the brothers are in an orphanage where Billy gets into trouble with the uptight nuns because of some violent drawings he made. The Fuehrer like Mother Superior whips a boy and girl caught having sex (“punishment is good”) and Billy gets a whipping too because he saw them. On Christmas Eve he's tied to a bed and the head Mother says “I see nothing but greed where there should be gratitude”. He freaks out when Santa visits. Cut to 1984 and Billy (Robert Brian Wilson) has a job hauling furniture in a warehouse but still gets nuts at the sight of Santa. As bad luck would have it, his boss makes him dress like Santa for the company Christmas Party. (“It's six o'clock. Time to get shit-faced!”) He interrupts his foreman trying to rape Pamela, another employee and strangles him with a string of lights. She's not grateful at all and calls him crazy so he stabs her. He kills his drunken boss Mr. Sims with a hammer then uses a bow and arrow on another female worker. 

Bill Claus hits the town killing a baby sitter (Linnea Quigley) who dies topless impaled on some trophy antlers. Her boyfriend puts up a good fight but falls out a window. Later he decapitates a bully. When the police find out how the killer is dressed a stupid cop shoots and kills a priest dressed as Santa! Billy returns to the orphanage (where his brother still resides) to get the Mother Superior but is shot and killed. It ends with his little brother grimacing and saying “naughty”. 

This infamous movie caused a huge controversy when first released because of its depiction of “Killer Claus”. It was eventually pulled form distribution even though it out grossed another horror movie that opened the same weekend: Wes Craven's NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET!

SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHTS's director Charles E. Sellier Jr. only directed three other films but produced many low budget “speculation” documentaries that did well in theaters at the time. (BEYOND AND BACK, THE MYSTERIOUS MONSTERS, IN SEARCH OF HISTORIC JESUS) He also created the hit TV series “The Life and Times of Grizzy Adams”. SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT is pretty tame by today's standards and spawned several sequels.

Thanks for reading and a Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

I Don't Get it

THE ROOST-2005-In a black and white intro Tom Noonan is a horror host who introduces the story and even interrupts it later on. Three guys and a girl on their way to a wedding have a car accident. They wonder around a bit then come to a house where earlier an old couple were killed. A cop picks them up but he's killed and one guy disappears. The remaining three are terrorized by vampire bats and the reanimated corpses of the cop and the old couple. It's seems to be some kind of weird found footage horror movie that really makes no sense. Larry Fessenden was the executive producer and appears as a tow trucker driver. Director Ti West later made CABIN FEVER 2 and a segment of V/H/S.

 

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Bad Teen

EXCISION-2012-Misfit Teen Pauline (AnnaLynne McCord, who's actually good in the role) is a smart ass religion obsessed jerk who makes a guy go down on her when she's on her period. She insults a priest (John Waters!) and has bloody fantasies. Her stupid domineering mother is played by Tracy Lords (trying to win an Academy Award). Later she shaves her head and dissects her sister and a friend. There are also small bits by Marlee Maitlin, Ray Wise and Malcolm McDowell. I question the sanity of writer/director Richard Bates Jr. for making this pretty strange horror movie.

 

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Tamara

 

TAMARA-2005-A high school student named Tamara (Jena Dewan Tatum) is bullied and disliked by her classmates. Her father doesn't treat her much better. In her spare time she practices witchcraft. After some (typical) moronic students play a prank on her in a hotel room she's accidentally killed. Even though one of the girls involved wants to come clean, the others blackmail her to keep quiet and bury the body. Much to everyone's surprise the next day Tamara shows up in class. Apparently she's come back for revenge! In a cringe worthy scene she makes a nerd cut off his ear, part of his tongue then stab himself in the eye. She makes her pervert father eat beer bottles and makes two male jocks have sex together. Then she makes one of their bulimic girlfriends puke up her guts and eat her own fingers. The two remaining teens get help from a teacher Tamara has a crush on. She sends the two jocks to kill the teacher's wife in a scene that goes on way too long (the wife kills both jocks). It really gets ridiculous when Tamara terrorizes what's left of the cast in a hospital devoid of doctors, nurses and patients. The teacher sacrifices himself to destroy Tamara but they forget about one other person...

As back from the dead for revenge flicks go this isn't too bad but like most modern day horror stories it's too long and runs out of steam relaying on long chases and pointless secondary side stories. Director Jeremy Haft directed some video games after this and according to at least one source is writing the screenplay for a film bio of late rapper Tupac Shakur.

More Found Footage

GRAVE ENCOUNTERS-2011-This Canadian production is influenced heavily by THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT but I was actually surprised by a couple of scenes. It's told through the video cameras of a film crew doing a segment of a reality TV show called "Grave Encounters" who go to an abandon mental hospital to film an episode. The host of the show Lance Preston (Sean Rogerson) only interested in a TV contract is accompanied by several camera people and a phony psychic. After they interview some locals the group has themselves locked up in the asylum over night. At first they only hear noises but a few things happen that they don't notice. Later they become trapped in the place and one by one everyone starts to disappear. They actually do meet up with some real ghouls and eventually it turns out a mad doctor who was killed years before is still doing lobotomies (and maybe devil worshiping) in the basement. It's well done (with some gory SFX) but the ending goes on too long.

It was written, produced and directed by two guys who go by the name of "The Vicious Brothers". They wrote and produced a sequel in 2012.

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