Party in Canada

 

 (imdb)

KILLER PARTY-1986-A woman who gets cremated alive turns out to be a drive-in movie being watched by two teens. When one of the teens is terrorized after buying popcorn at an empty concession stand, it turns out to be a music video by some girly man phony metal band which is playing on a TV. Then a female frat house is going to use an old abandoned dorm for a party. Their house mother has some connection to the house as she talks to a headstone and is then killed inside. After a lot of nonsense, a professor (Paul Bartel) is electrocuted. They finally have the party but still nothing really happens until they all get trapped in the house but that's only a prank set up by one of the girls. Then someone in a Diver Dan suit starts killing everyone. It seems Jennifer, one of the frat girls is possessed by the vengeful spirit of a frat boy accidentally killed in a prank years before. 

William Fruet (FUNERAL HOME) directed this Canadian production with an idiotic ending.

Alice

 

 (imdb)

COMMUNION-(aka ALICE SWEET ALICE)-1976-A weird young kid named Alice (Paula E. Sheppard) takes delight in tormenting her little sister Sally (Brooke Shields) who is getting ready for her first communion. They live with their divorced religiously devout mother Catherine (Linda Miller; Jackie Gleason's daughter) in a rooming house run by the ginormous Mr. Alphonso (Alphonso DeNoble). Alice likes to wear a yellow raincoat and a Halloween mask, so when Sally is killed right before the ceremony by someone dressed like that, it seems Alice has gone too far. Catherine's shrewish sister (Jane Lowry), who has a wimpy husband, suspects her niece. Alice's estranged father Dom (Niles McMaster) with the help of police detective Brennan (Tom Signorelli, a terrible actor), who says “people do crazy things”, snoop around. A priest, Father Tom (Rudolph Willrich) tries to help out too. Mr. Alphonso tries to put the moves on Alice (eek!) but she kills his cat to get away. Alice has a secret room in the basement where she raises cockroaches! Later someone dressed in a yellow raincoat attacks the sister. Alice is examined by Dr. Whitman (Louisa Horton) who wants to lock her up. A long scene involves dad in a warehouse where the real killer is revealed. Father Tom's grouchy housekeeper (Mildred Clinton), who's own daughter died before her first communion is jealous of mom's relationship with her boss. She kills dad while Alice is released from the mental ward. Alice puts roaches on the sleeping Alphonso who's then killed when he accidentally runs into the killer in the hall. During Alice's own communion, the housekeeper slits Father Tom's throat. In the panic everyone ignores Alice who takes the killer's bloody knife... 

This is a really wacko production that got some notice later because of the involvement of the future famous Brooke Shields. 

This movie also marked the first film for singer/actress Lillian Roth (who plays a pathologist) since her last in 1939. A popular entertainer in her time, a series of personal tragedies and alcoholism ruined her career for a while but in the fifties, she made a successful comeback in nightclubs. Her autobiography “I'll Cry Tomorrow” was made into a film starring Susan Hayward. 

Pro wrestling legend Argentina Rocca also has a cameo as an undertaker (don't blink). McMaster and Alphonso were in the notorious BLOOD SUCKING FREAKS the same year. Co-star Paula Sheppard was in one more movie, the cult film LIQUAD SKY (1981) and retired from acting. Director Alfred Sole, usually a production designer, also made the bizarre TANYA'S ISLAND.

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Scissors and Stone

 

 (imdb)

SCISSORS-1991-Weird tale about a repressed young woman Angie (Sharon Stone) who makes dolls. After she stabs a would-be rapist, her psychiatrist Dr. Carter (Ronny Cox) tells her she's hiding a repressed memory from her childhood. Her suspicious acting neighbor Alex (Steve Railsback) tries to help her. He has a wheelchair bound painter twin brother (also Railsback) who's only pretending to be a cripple. After another encounter in a movie theater and almost having sex with Alex, Angie becomes trapped in a high rise apartment. From things in the apartment including a myna bird and a corpse it's obvious it's someone's plot to drive her crazy. Meanwhile the brothers argue over where she is. It turns out it's a plan by her insane cuckold shrink to kill his wife's (Michelle Phillips) lover. Although Angie appears to lose her mind she turns the tables on the shrink and meets up with Alex. 

This was the only theatrical full length movie director Frank De Felitta made. As a screenwriter he adapted both his novels “Audrey Rose” and “The Entity” to the big screen and also wrote George C. Scott's controversial THE SAVAGE IS LOOSE (1974). He also directed an above average made for TV horror film NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW (1981). 

SCISSORS is based on a short story that was first done on an anthology show in the 1950's and directed by Ida Lupino.

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Klaus The Shrink

 

 (imdb)

SCHIZOID-1980-Julie (Mariana Hill; THE BABY), an advice columnist, receives threatening letters. Her hot headed ex-husband (Craig Wasson) is also her editor. She belongs to a therapy group run by a weird perverse psychiatrist Peter (Klaus Kinski). Someone is killing the patients in the group with a pair of scissors. Peter has trouble with his weird daughter Alison (Donna Wilkes; future star of ANGEL) who has a gun and rants to dad about her mother when Julie is invited to dinner. An ineffectual cop (Richard Herd) investigates the murders but doesn't think much of Julie's letters. 

This typical for the time slasher movie (which would inundate the '80's) has a dumb finale where the murderer is revealed. Christopher Lloyd on TV's “Taxi” at the time plays a red herring handyman and Flo Gerrish from DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE plays Julie's friend Pat. After this writer/director David Paulsen became a TV producer.

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Unhappy Sequel

 

 (wikipedia)

SLEEPAWAY CAMP 2: UNHAPPY CAMPERS -1988-The little girl/boy murderer from the original is back but now she's Angela (Pamela Springsteen) a woman thanks to an operation she had at the insane asylum. She now works at a camp for her Uncle John (Walter Gotell). She's cheerful but strict and goes off when she catches the overage dorks fooling around. Only Molly (Rene Estevez) seems to like her. When John fires her she really goes berserk and kills everyone including two young kids. 

This typical '80's slasher movie with death by burning and latrine has a terrible metal hair band soundtrack but slips a Dead Milkmen song into one scene. Producer/director Michael Simpson also made a sequel.

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Massacre: Very Popular in the '80's

 (wikipedia)

SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE-1982-Some college bimbos are terrorized by a power tool carrying escaped psycho, Russ Thorn (Michael Villella). Unpopular girl next door Val (Robin Stille), taking care of her younger sister Courtney (Jenifer Meyers) is also later terrorized. Conceived as a parody, it's done as a straight slasher film and though it contains a lot of the usual cliches it has some intentional humor, suspense and is more entertaining than a lot of the crap made around the same time. 

The screenplay is by feminist writer Rita Mae Brown. The director Amy Jones only made three more movies after this and mainly became a screenwriter (MYSTIC PIZZA, THE RELIC). It was also the debut film for future “scream queen” Brinke Stevens. Unfortunately Robin Stille committed suicide in 1996.

Happy Birthday Mom!

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Sorority Kill

 

HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW-1982-Some stupid college frat women want to hold a party in their frat house but their weird house mother Mrs. Slater (Lois Kelso Hunt) won't allow it. When a prank they play on her winds up killing her, they dump her body in the dirty pool and have the party. Someone starts killing them (although the first victim is a Weird Al Yankovic clone). A strange doctor, an hallucinogenic drug and Slater's thought to be dead son are the culprits as well as the doctor's fertility experiments. 

This horror story uses unusual colors and hallucinations to try and break out of the typical for the time slasher mode. The director Mark Rosman must have done something right as it did fairly well when first released and has gain a cult following. Couldn't shake off the familiar '80's slasher ending though...

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Golan & Globus

 

X-RAY-1981-Susan Jeremy (Barbie Benton) walks around a hospital trying to get her check up results. Everyone acts very weird. Someone dressed as a surgeon kills a doctor and a janitor. An idiot doctor orders more tests and it seems Susan may being held against her will. Several more murders occur including her fiance. Later when she freaks out and is strapped down  and the killer (who is from her childhood) kidnaps her. Typical, cliched junk like most 80's Golan & Globus productions. Aka HOSPITAL MASSACRE, its director Boaz Davidson was involved in a lot of crap.

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More '80's Stuff...

 

NIGHT SCHOOL-1981-In Boston,a killer in a leather suit and motorcycle helmet beheads his victims. An idiot police Lieutenant and his stupid Sargent investigate. A red herring dish washer talks like Torgo from MANOS, THE HANDS OF FATE. The lieutenant suspects college professor Millet (Drew Synder) is the murderer since he's an authority on headhunters in Borneo. He also fools around with his students and takes a weird bloody shower with his live in assistant (Rachel Ward in her film debut). 

Another typical '80's slasher movie (aka TERROR EYES), this one directed by Ken Hughes who in better days had made CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG, CROMWELL and OF HUMAN BONDAGE. His previous movie had been the infamous SEXTETTE (starring the 85 year old Mae West). NIGHT SCHOOL was his last feature.

'80's Slasher Stuff

 

FINAL EXAM-1981-Typical '80's slasher movie obviously influenced by HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13th. After a couple is killed by a masked killer, it's mostly talk and false scares for 40 mins. until the next murder occurs. Eventually an unknown killer knocks off most of the jerks but one overage teen manages to stop him. 

The director Jimmy Huston also made MY BEST FRIEND IS A VAMPIRE.

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The Lone Star State of Horror

PSYCHO FROM TEXAS-1975-A nutty redneck named Wheeler (John King lll) has flashbacks of his mom having sex. Meanwhile a local rich retired businessman  named Phillips (Herschal Mays), who fishes with an African American kid, plans the wedding of his daughter Connie (Candy Dee). Turns out Wheeler was hired to kidnap and rob Phillips. He and a local fool kidnap Phillips and after tying him up at a remote cabin, Wheeler goes to score some weed. Now he may be psycho but he's not very smart leaving the shit for brains local to watch over their captive. Sure enough while Wheeler is out making a pest of himself Phillips escapes. The local gives chase. They keep referring to Phillips as an “old man" but he takes off and their chase scene seems to go on forever!  Meanwhile Wheeler visits Connie and a neighbor informs her that her daddy is missing. (The kid he goes fishing with found his abandoned car) It seems Connie's fiance Steve (Reed Johnson) is behind the plot. The long long chase finally ends with Phillips stabbing the local ass in the neck. He eventually makes it to police headquarters.  After Wheeler kills Connie's friend, he gets some KFC and visits a bar. Steve is arrested but when he sees Phillips is alive he grabs a cop’s gun and bolts. Yes! Another chase scene! The chase is inter-cut with Wheeler's antics at the very darkly lit bar where he kills the only other customer and makes the bartender (Linnea Quigley) dance naked and pours beer on her (she looks like she's laughing on one point). A cop shoots Steve in the head, father and daughter are reunited and the sheriff (who’s daughter Wheeler killed) shoots Wheeler whose last words are “Don't hurt me, mama!”.  

This fairly boring slasher film began life as the never released WHEELER. It went through several changes and titles before it became PSYCHO FROM TEXAS. The bar scenes with  Linnea Quigley (this could be her first film role depending on when the scenes were shot) were added to this version providing the only actual highlight of the whole film. Seems like they put it toward the end to give at least some kind of payoff. Two directors are credited: Jack Collins (who plays the sheriff) and Jim Feazell.

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Early For Christmas

SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT-1984-On Christmas Eve in 1971 a young boy is told by his senile grandpa that Santa will punish him and his brother on Christmas. Later the boy named Billy sees his parents killed by an intruder dressed as St. Nick (Charles Dierkop). Three years later the brothers are in an orphanage where Billy gets into trouble with the uptight nuns because of some violent drawings he made. The Fuehrer like Mother Superior whips a boy and girl caught having sex (“punishment is good”) and Billy gets a whipping too because he saw them. On Christmas Eve he's tied to a bed and the head Mother says “I see nothing but greed where there should be gratitude”. He freaks out when Santa visits. Cut to 1984 and Billy (Robert Brian Wilson) has a job hauling furniture in a warehouse but still gets nuts at the sight of Santa. As bad luck would have it, his boss makes him dress like Santa for the company Christmas Party. (“It's six o'clock. Time to get shit-faced!”) He interrupts his foreman trying to rape Pamela, another employee and strangles him with a string of lights. She's not grateful at all and calls him crazy so he stabs her. He kills his drunken boss Mr. Sims with a hammer then uses a bow and arrow on another female worker. 

Bill Claus hits the town killing a baby sitter (Linnea Quigley) who dies topless impaled on some trophy antlers. Her boyfriend puts up a good fight but falls out a window. Later he decapitates a bully. When the police find out how the killer is dressed a stupid cop shoots and kills a priest dressed as Santa! Billy returns to the orphanage (where his brother still resides) to get the Mother Superior but is shot and killed. It ends with his little brother grimacing and saying “naughty”. 

This infamous movie caused a huge controversy when first released because of its depiction of “Killer Claus”. It was eventually pulled form distribution even though it out grossed another horror movie that opened the same weekend: Wes Craven's NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET!

SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHTS's director Charles E. Sellier Jr. only directed three other films but produced many low budget “speculation” documentaries that did well in theaters at the time. (BEYOND AND BACK, THE MYSTERIOUS MONSTERS, IN SEARCH OF HISTORIC JESUS) He also created the hit TV series “The Life and Times of Grizzy Adams”. SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT is pretty tame by today's standards and spawned several sequels.

Thanks for reading and a Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Watch Out!

NIGHTWATCH-1997-A loser (Ewan MacGregor) takes a job as a night watchman in a morgue after the old one (Lonny Chapman) quits. Years before another watchman was caught having sex with the corpses. He gets spooked a lot being alone with the dead but after a series of killings he's accused of necrophilia by 2 weird cops (Nick Nolte & John C. Reilly). His friend (Josh Brolin) and his girlfriend (Patricia Arquette) became involved and Brad Dourif livens things up as pill pushing doctor..

It's a remake of a Danish film by the same director Ole Bornedal but co-scripted by Steven Soderbergh. It mostly plays like a direct to video slasher movie but with a bigger budget and lots of emoting from the well known cast.

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Argento

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE CAT O'NINE TAILS-1971-A blind ex-reporter Franco Arno (Karl Malden) who likes puzzles teams up with a local reporter Carlo Giordani (James Franciscus) to solve a series of brutal murders that seem connected to a “hush-hush” genetics corporation. There are a lot of suspects but most are killed. After Arno's niece is kidnapped and Carlo is stabbed and thrown off a roof he discovers the murderer who has a “weird chromosome” make up. The ending is way too abrupt and doesn't actually tell you the fate of the Carlo character. Catherine Spaak gives a pretty bad performance in a co-starring role (and has a terrible hair style) and the plot is very confused. Even the score by Ennio Morricone doesn't help.

 

 It's the second film directed by Dario Argento who of course went on to make more interesting and stylish (but sometimes just as confusing) “Giallos”.

 

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Movie Gone Dead

GIRLS GONE  DEAD-2012-In this routine stupid gore movie, a semi-religious teenager named Rebecca (Katie Peterson) goes to a friend's house with 5 bimbos to party for the weekend. Her God fearing mom (Julie Kendal) thinks she's going on a retreat. After rollicking in a pool they go to a place called Wild Wylee's where Linnea Quigley is the bartender (she also sings). They get very drunk and one of them goes off with an extremely fat guy and they become the first victims of a hooded masked killer who uses an ancient ax on victims. The next day the group (who don't really seemed concerned that their friend hasn't returned) get involved in a "Girls Gone Wild" parody (where Ron Jeremy shows up) and the killer beheads a black dwarf named Beetlejuice. Later they have some guys come over to the house and everyone starts dying. Turns out Rebecca's religiously bent mom is the killer, getting help form Rebecca's equally deranged ex-boyfriend.  Pro wrestler Jerry "The King" Lawler is a local sheriff who pile drives the killer in the fiery anti-religious finale.

Although the movie features some extreme gore and nudity, it's just like any other modern slasher film. There's a funny outtake at the end though. Two guys, Aaron T. Wells and Michael Hoffman Jr. share the director's credit.

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Cherry Bomb

CHERRY FALLS-2000-I've been told this is a "must see" cult film. Ok, I saw it. It's just more slasher nonsense but this time with a female killer preying on screwed up virgin teens in a small town. A stupid sheriff (Michael Biehn) tries to figure it all out and control his own teenage daughter (Brittany Murphy who died in 2009). It has to do with a girl who was raped by 4 football players years before (the sheriff was one of the players). I won't reveal the one other plot point about the killer who goes on a rampage killing teens who are having an orgy in an old house (since the killer only targets virgins it seems a good idea to have sex and therefore not be an intended victim). I guess it was suppose to be a grotesquely funny horror movie...I guess!

Jay Mohr and Candy Clarke also have roles.

The director Geoffrey Wright (from Australia) made ROMPER STOMPER before this.

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Happy Evil Year

NEW YEAR'S EVIL-1980-I loved the '80's but after watching this typical
slasher bullshit nonsense I realize why young people today might hate
the decade!

In this story a very famous "rock star" Diane Sullivan (Roz Kelly) is hosting a late night countdown for the song of the year. Her son (Grant Cramer) pops pills and acts weird while people are killed and a stupid band called Made In Japan plays. The killer calls in and plays a tape of him killing a victim while using disguised voice.  Of course lots of characters act like idiots to try and make you wonder who the killer is when it is revealed in the very first killing.

The acting is very bad and the script very cliched but it was mostly typical of the time. There are some
unintentionally funny scenes and the phony punk rock trash disco fans are likened to patients in a mental intuition.

Also with Kip Niven, Chris Wallace (also in DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE), John Alderman and Teri Copley. Director Emmett Alston also made DEMONWARP and several movies with "ninja" in the title. A Menahem Golan-Yoram Globus production.

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Wicked Stuff?

WICKED WICKED-1973-This typical slasher/stalker film was shot in "duo-vision" a split screen process showing two different scenes at one time.

Randolph Roberts (later Chuck Cunningham, Richie's older brother in TV's HAPPY DAYS) plays Jason, a handyman/custodian/electronics expert who also kills women (while wearing a scary mask) who come to stay at the hotel where he works. The split screens not only shows the goings on in the hotel but also provide flashbacks while certain characters talk about their lives.

Tiffany Bolling is a singer (and does the horrible theme song) who performs at the hotel and Jason 's next target. David Bailey (later a regular on the soap opera ANOTHER WORLD) is the house detective (and Bolling's character's ex-spouse) trying to figure it out and Scott Brady (who had a role in THE NIGHT STRANGLER the same year) is a no nonsense detective he butts heads with. Roger Bowen (Col. Blake in the movie version of MASH) is the pompous hotel manager. Madeleine Sherwood and Arthur O'Connell are also in it. Edd Brynes (formerly TV's Kookie on 77 SUNSET STRIP) is a red herring waiter who uses the phrase "honest bread" a few times. Meanwhile an old woman plays the organ as background music.

It's a little better than the usual serial killer stuff clogging up '70's cinema, uses some ironic comic touches and puts the split screen to good use. This was the last feature film directed by Richard L. Bare (who also wrote the screenplay), better known for his TV work on such comedies as GREEN ACRES. Lyrics to the insipid songs are by Irwin Levine who co-wrote "This Diamond Ring". Charles Pierce was the set decorator. Actor Bailey later died in an accidental drowning.

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Worth It!

DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE-1980-In this psycho-slasher horror flick the underrated Nicolas Worth plays Kirk Smith a deranged Vietnam vet/photographer who strangles women then takes pictures of them. He even calls a radio psychiatrist (Flo Gerrish) and talks with a Hispanic accent. Later he later convinces a prostitute to call the station and while she's talking to the doctor he kills her. James Westmoreland and Ben Frank play two wise ass detectives trying to solve the murders. I think they were trying to imitate Starskyand Hutch but they are more like Dumb and Dumber.

Worth (who died in 2007 at age 69) gives a tour de force performance, crying, laughing and talking to himself in a mirror. In a stand-out scene he talks to his "father" about how he beat up a pimp. The rest of the acting (made up mostly of TV actors and actresses) isn't as interesting and the story is quite sick (most of the victims die topless) and drags when Worth's not around but his performance makes it worth seeing. (No pun intended)

This was the only movie made by director Robert Hammer. The worst part is that while Smith is a crazed vicious killer the two cops act like jerks and aren't very likable.

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Hollywood Horror

HOLLYWOOD HORROR HOUSE-1969-This junk is like the classic HOLLYWOOD BLVD. but with gore, psychedelic dream sequences and characters using drugs. 69-year-old Miriam Hopkins (in her last role) plays the Norma Desmond type former silent screen star named Katherine Parker. Between drinking vodka and dreaming about a comeback she falls down a flight of stairs and breaks her leg. She hires Vic (John David Garfield) to assist her in her recovery even though it’s obvious he’s a loony who as flashbacks of his mother having sex with several men just before he cuts off her hand. He has an affair with the young maid (Virginia Wing) but she gets chopped up.

After a dinner party with Katherine’s very boring old friends (one guy falls asleep at the table) she and Vic have an (ugh) affair and he takes her to a wild party and gives her drugs. In one bizarre scene Katherine hallucinates she’s in The Santa Claus Lane Parade! Former Hollywood screen villain Gale Sonnergaard (in her first film role in 20 years!) is Katherine’s secretary who suspects something’s up. Another real life former ‘30’s star Florence Lake is the housekeeper and Joe Besser has a small role as a tour bus driver.

Later after killing Katherine (and everybody else) Vic talks and sleeps with a mannequin of her!

Hopkins gives a pretty good performance considering the circumstances (all rotten). Her character doesn’t have the has-been type decadence of Gloria Swanson. She still looks fairly glamorous (and threatens a topless scene!). Garfield (the son of the famous actor who died at 39) was also a film editor. I hope he was better at that job. His acting was somewhere between standing still and not caring.

The director of grisly embarrassing mess was one Donald Wolfe who’s other claim to fame seems to be that he edited THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS. He also wrote and produced it so there are not too many other people to blame...

HHH is also known as SAVAGE INTRUDER and THE COMEBACK.

One note: My friend Mike lend me this video. He told me there is a scene where you can see “the clapper” before the scene starts (much like in MANOS-HANDS OF FATE) but I didn’t notice this and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna watch this thing again!!

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