He Who Walks Behind The Rows

 

 (themoviedb.org)

CHILDREN OF THE CORN V: FIELDS OF TERROR-1998-A young kid has an episode in a cornfield. Then he goes and kills a farmer and a bunch of kids bludgeon his wife to death. Later a guy (Ahmet Zappa) and his girlfriend are killed by some strange kids in the cornfield. 2 more couples (Stacy Galina, Alexis Arquette, Eva Mendes, Greg Vaughan) appear looking for the first pair and one girl's brother Jacob. After their car breaks down, they wander into a town full of asshole hicks (Kane Hodder is a bartender). To top it off, the unhelpful sheriff is played by Fred Williamson. The idiots miss the only outgoing bus and their car is set on fire. They find a semi-abandoned house and stay the night. Later they meet Luke (David Carradine), a way-out guy who seems to have a community of children he wants to save from adulthood, but little punk Ezekiel (Adam Wylie) seems to really be in charge. The only good part is the whacked confrontation between Luke and the sheriff. 

From Ethan Wiley, director of HOUSE 2: THE SECOND STORY (1987) and writer of the original HOUSE (1985) and BLACK OPS (2008). These corn kid sequels are of course all “based on” Stephen King's short story.

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Still Another Sequel

 

 

 (themoviedb.org)

PUMPKINHEAD 4-BLOOD FEUD-2007-Stupid hillbillies, The Hatfields & The McCoys are feuding because of an incident with a car years before. When it turns out Jodie (Amy Manson), a Hatfield girl is having an affair with McCoy boy Ricky (Bradley Taylor), two Hatfield brothers (the Hatfields seem the scummier of the two) decide to break up the romance and wind up killing another McCoy daughter, Sarah (Maria Roman). Ricky visits the witch Haggis (Lynee Verell, reprising her role from Part 3) to have her summon the demon Pumpkinhead to get revenge despite the pleadings of the cursed Ed Harley (returning Lance Henriksen). 

Gory sfx, bad acting. Written and directed by Mike Hurst (HOUSE OF THE DEAD 2).

Another Sequel

 

 (themoviedb.org)

PUMPKINHEAD-ASHES TO ASHES-2006-A crazy mortician (HELLRAISER'S Doug Bradley) steals corpses and dissects them and sells the organs. The remains get dumped in the local swamp. When the town finally finds the dead bodies, a vengeful mother goes to the old witch Haggis (Lynne Verell) to summon Pumpkinhead, who goes on a killing spree. The mortician tries to kill the people responsible. 

Lots of victims spit up blood. Of course, Lance Henriksen pops up once in a while. They should have stopped at #2. Filmed in Romania back-to-back with #4. Directed by Jake West.

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Thailand

 

(imdb)

CANNIBAL MERCENARY-2-1989-Leu (director Bin Banleurit) is once again coerced into leading a group of mercenaries against a drug lord named Bad Dog. He doesn't have a good record as everyone from his last mission died. Along the way, they pick up some strays including a woman with a baby. There's a lot of talking and one guy has a tongue session with a monkey. Everybody dies in the big shootout finale. What a bummer.

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Empire Ghouls

 

 (imdb)

GHOULIES ll-1987-In this sequel, mean little monsters, the spawn of Satan, hitch a ride with a traveling circus after a priest fails to kill them. They cause death and destruction. The circus is run by an old guy (Royal Dano) and his nephew Larry (Damon Martin). After the old man is killed, a yuppie co-owner name Hardin (J. Downing) hangs around wanting to close down the circus. With the help of Nicole (Kerry Remsen), a belly dancer and Nigel (Phil Fondacaro), a little person, the nephew conjures up a giant demon that eats the ghoulies. But then they have to contend with the demon. 

Tasteless, useless sequel from Richard Band's Empire Pics filmed in Italy by Band's father Albert (I BURY THE LIVING (1958)). Somehow, 2 more sequels followed.

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Who Asked for a Sequel?

 

 (imdb)

MEGALODON RISING-2021-This a sequel to MEGALODON. It's a cheap talky badly acted giant shark piece of bull shit. Big cartoonish prehistoric sharks terrorize 2 battleships, one US navy, the other Red China. Ted Sizemore stars and it was directed by Brian Nowak. Good night....

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Grizzly 2 Electric Bugaloo

 

 (wikipedia)

GRIZZLY 2: REVENGE-2020-In Yellowstone park, a giant killer grizzly bear is on the rampage after it's cubs are killed. Samantha Owens (Deborah Raffin) is in charge of bear management and wants Nick (Steve Inwood), a park ranger, to capture the bear alive. Bouchard (John Rhys-Davies), a French Canadian mountain man sets traps. Meanwhile Eileene Draygon (Louise Fletcher) throws a rock concert with acts that look like they are auditioning for Gary Numan. 

Despite getting top billing, Charlie Sheen, Laura Dern and George Clooney are only in one scene. Deborah Foreman, Ian McNiece, Timothy Spall and Jack Starrett are also in it. 

This production which features a silly bear puppet, began filming in Hungry in 1983 (Sheen, Dern & Clooney were relatively unknown then which explains their small roles) when the producer quit the production because of lack of funds. Somehow the co-producer Suzanne Nagy found a backer and principle photography was completed. However the entire film languished incomplete while Nagy and her crew worked on it (a working print was posted to Facebook and remained there for years). Finally, in the beginning of January 2020, the film was completed and released. I don't think it was worth the wait....

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Dread Having To Watch This

 

THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN-2014-Stupid sort of sequel to Charles B. Pierce's 1976 quasi-documentary. A killer terrorizes Texarkana in the same place the original murders were. Some yokels think the original killer is back. A girl who survived the initial attack and Lone Wolf Morales (Anthony Anderson), an arrogant Texas ranger lead the official investigation. Gary Cole plays a police officer killed while getting a blowjob. The original director's son Charles Pierce Jr. is portrayed as a real weirdo. The killer starts killing everyone including the girl's grandmother (Veronica Cartwright). 

This is just another sick excuse to show excess killing. It's the last movie for both Ed Lauter & Edward Herman. Director Alfonzo Gomez-Rejon directed episodes of the TV show “Glee” before this.

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More Death

 

NINJA DEATH 2: VENOM OF THE NINJA-1987-"You Only Live Twice" theme plays over the credits. Tiger (Alexander Rei Lo) returns from the first film and after intense training by his master must battle the evil "Grand Master" (Fei Meng) and his invasion force from Japan. This is even more confusing and disjointed than the first part, directed by Joseph Kuo (from Taiwan) who also made part one but was uncredited. The same year he made a part 3.

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Again?!

 

 (wikipedia)

TEXAS CHAINSAW-(3D)-2013-A young woman named Heather (Alexandria Daddario) finds out she's related to the infamous bloodthirsty "family" from the original 1972 movie after her grandmother dies and leaves her a mansion in Newt, Texas. She drives there with her boyfriend (Trey Songz) and another couple. Along the way, they pick up a hitchhiker (who turns out to be the first victim). Yes, bad old Leatherface (her cousin Jed Sawyer) is still alive and seeking revenge on the mayor and the other inbred hicks who killed "their family". A deputy Carl (Scott Eastman) seems helpful but turns out to be redneck scum too. Sadistic, graphic, idiotic excuse to turn Leatherface (Dan Yeager) into a hero but since he's a work of fiction and the white cracker hillbillies really exist well who am I to criticize? Thank God for African American sheriffs! And they all lived happily ever after. 

What's wrong with filmmakers today? 

Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen and Marilyn Burns have small roles (the last for Hansen and Burns).

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