Jersey Sharks

JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK-2012-I think this stupid killer shark movie is suppose to feature characters based on the idiotic reality show JERSEY SHORE. (and JAWS of course). I don’t know much about the show but it can't be any worse than this brain dead nonsense. 

Three imbeciles try to warn the residents that albino sharks are on the prowl and want the beach closed down but no one believes them until former NYSYNC member Joey Fatone playing a pompous has-been singer, I mean playing himself, gets killed! Jack Scalia is the sheriff. Later a bartender (Tony Sirico from THE SOPRANOS) relates the (real life) story of the 1916 Jersey Shore shark attacks. Paul Sorvino (looking like an evil Oliver Hardy) has a small role as the mayor and William Altherton is a Donald Trump like builder who's construction site vibrations are attracting the sharks. 

There's some phony gore and bad CGI and some parts are funny but most of it is just annoying dumbness. It takes place in Seaside Heights (I often went there with my friends in the late '70's!) but I don't think it was filmed on location. The director John Shepphird also made TEENAGE BONNIE AND KLEPTO CLYDE. 

Some people think this will achieve cult status but it will be quickly forgotten after the show it parodies burns itself out. Fred Olen Ray was a producer.

Thanks for reading!