Hercules The First

 

 (themoviedatabase)

HERCULES-1958-The legendary hero of Greek myth (Steve Reeves) saves Princess Iole (Sylva Koscina). Her father, the king of Iolcus (Ivo Garrani) wants Herc to train his “his weak and impulsive” son, Iphitus (Mimmo Palmara) to "fortify” Iolcus so he can step down and give his son the throne. He helps a young Ulysses (Gabriele Antonio) improve his bow skills. After Herc shows up Iphitus in training, the heir to the throne is killed by a lion. The king and Iole blame Hercules (even though Iphitus set the whole thing up). Herc tells Sybil (Lidia Alfonsi), the oracle, he doesn't want to be a god anymore. Later, Jason (Fabrizio Mioni) appears and he and Herc gather up the Argonauts and go looking for the golden fleece in their ship, The Argo. Their first encounter is with The Amazons led by Queen Antea (Gianna Maria Canale). Later Jason slays a dragon and gets the fleece. 

This blockbuster movie directed by Pietro Francisci (who also made the sequel the next year) started the whole “sand and sandal” genre with countless imitations to follow. According to some sources, the roar of the dragon that guards the fleece is actually Godzilla's roar from the original movie. Since Joseph Levine distributed both movies, it's probably right. Mario Bava was the cinematographer. Lead actress Koscina went on to make many more movie appearances including JUDEX (1963), Fellini's JULIET OF THE SPIRITS (1965), LISA AND THE DEVIL (1973) and many others. Of course, strongman Reeves starred in the sequel, HERCULES UNCHAINED in 1959. 

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He's Mysterious Alright

 

THE MYSTERIOUS MR. WONG-1934-The sinister Mr. Wong (Bela Lugosi in Asian makeup and Hungarian accent) is searching for the 12 coins of Confucius. Everyone suspects a Tong war but annoying, wisecracking reporter Jason Barton (Wallace Ford; FREAKS (1932)) thinks otherwise. When one his henchmen fails, Wong has him thrown in a basement with rats (not shown). By day, Wong poses as Li See, a herbalist. He treats his niece Moonflower (Lotus Long) and her attendant pretty badly and she says he's mad. Jason & and girlfriend Peg (Arline Judge) team up to figure out the mystery when Jason gets a hold of the coin. 

Corny cliché talk and sometimes racist dialogue. Also with Richard Loo. Directed in fast fashion by William Nigh who ironically later did the Boris Karloff series of Mr. Wong detective films. It's based on the short story “The Strange Adventure of the 12 Coins of Confucius” (1927) by once popular mystery writer Harry Stephen Keeler. This was Lugosi's first film for the “poverty row” studio Monogram.

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Another Bad Future

 

 (imdb)

THE NEW BARBARIANS (aka Warriors of the Wasteland)-1983-In 2019 AD “the nuclear holocaust is over” but bad film making in Italy still goes on. A group of fancy men called The Templars led by One (George East-man), roam the land killing survivors. A loner named Scorpion (Timothy Brent aka Giancarlo Prete) saves a woman, Alma (Anna Kanakis) from the gang. When some of them trap Scorpion, he's saved by bow and arrow using Nadir (Fred Williamson), another loner. Later, the trio meet The Sect, a tribe that believes in God led by Father Moses (Venantino Venantini; also in CANNIBAL FEROX (1981)). When Scorpion is captured by The Templars, Nadir once again saves him. They team up with a little kid mechanic (Giovanni Frezza from THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETARY (1981)) to save The Sect from the sadistic One. 

Mindless ROAD WARRIOR inspired junk by director/co-screenwriter Enzo G. Castellari (ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX the same year; also with Prete). Bad guy Eastman was also in Castellari's 1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS (1982) along with the former football playing Williamson.

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Bad Blood

 

 (imdb)

BLOOD FEAST-2016-American Fuad Ramses (Robert Rusler from the "Babylon 5" TV show) and his wife Louise (Caroline Williams; THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2) run a diner in France, trying to put their daughter (Sophie Monk) through college. She gets mad at them because they are serving old meat. Fuad who works a night shift at a museum, stops taking his medication. One night, Egyptian Queen Ishtar (Sadie Katz) says she wants him for her lover. Through Professor Hershell (Herschell Gordon Lewis!) Fuad learns that a guy named Tammuz once killed 14 children and served them to their parents. Thus, Ishtar became his lover. Suddenly Fuad has an altar to Ishtar in his basement and is going to recreate the feast for her. 

Garbage production with terrible acting and a stupid script. Director Michael Walz needs to reevaluate his career choices.

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“You're damaged merchandise and this is a fire sale!"

 

(imdb)

SCUM OF THE EARTH!-1963-Photographer Harmon Johnson (Thomas Wood aka Harry Kerwin) deals in porn. He watches dispassionately while his dumb assistant Ajax (Craig Maudslay Jr.) abuses model Sandy (Sandra Sinclair). The head of the ring is a slimy guy named Lang (Lawrence J. Aberwood) who forces Sandy to “recruit” new girls. She gets innocent college hopeful Kim (Louise Downe) to pose for Johnson. After a few shots, suddenly she's posing naked and being abused by Larry (Mal Arnold; Fuad Ramses in BLOOD FEAST), another of Lang's sleaze bag henchman. Later, Lang gives Kim a lecture where the camera has a close up of his mouth while he spats insults. At another shoot, Ajax attacks Kim and Johnson beats him to death with a baseball bat. Sandy stands in for Kim (who they sent away) and stands by Johnson, providing him with a witness that it was self-defense. The cops are alerted and Lang shoots Larry. The police chase Lang to a beach where Lang hits the water. Now trapped, Lang shoots himself. After Kim and Johnson say their goodbyes, the voice of director Herschel Gordon Lewis is heard warning against the scum of the earth. 

This black and white exploitation film was made just a few weeks after Lewis' infamous BLOOD FEAST (which lead actress Downe wrote the screenplay for). It's pretty cheap looking and reminded me of an Ed Wood movie (Wood made THE SINISTER URGE about a porn racket in 1960).

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The Original Invaders

 

 (imdb)

INVADERS FROM MARS-1953-Little David (Jimmy Hunt) who's interested in astronomy sees a UFO land near his house at night. When his scientist dad (Leif Erickson) goes to investigate, he disappears. David's mom (Hillary Brooke) calls the police. Two cops investigate (one is Douglas Kennedy) and seem to fall into a hole made in the sand. Later dad shows up, now a cold, mean zombie with a strange wound on the back of his head. After dad hits David, the cops show up also zombified. Later David sees his young neighbor fall in one of the sand holes. She comes back mesmerized and sets her house on fire. David goes to the chief of police (Bert Freed) but he's already been taken over and has Sgt. Finley (Walter Sande) put him in detention. Finley calls in Dr. Pat Blake (Helena Carter, who retired from acting after this) to examine David. She seems concerned. Mom comes to get David but it's obvious she's now “one of them”. Fortunately, Dr. Blake rescues him and takes him to see Dr. Kelston (Arthur Franz), an astronomer who believes David saw Martian invaders. Kelston contacts Col. Fielding (Morris Ankrum) and Capt. Roth (Milburn Stone). The taken over people start sabotaging things. When Pat & David are captured, we finally see the aliens, tall green guys with bulging eyes who obey a weird golden head (Luce Potter) who speaks telepathically. 

I won't reveal the “shock ending” although everyone probably knows it already! Also with (mostly all uncredited) William Phipps, Fay Baker, Peter Brocco, Richard Deacon, John Eldredge, Tod Karns, Robert Shayne, Frank Wilcox and Lock Martin. 

This science fiction film released by 20^th Century-Fox was filmed in SuperCineColor, a three-color process invented in 1948 but only used till around 1954. Despite a fairly low budget, director John Cameron Menzies uses unusual camera angles and almost surreal set pieces.

 (imdb)

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I Am The Goblin King

 

 (imdb)

LABYRINTH-1986-A lonely girl Sarah (Jennifer Connelly), who fantasizes about goblins and such wishes her baby brother would be kidnapped by goblins. Her wish comes true and The Goblin King (David Bowie) tells her she has 13 hours to rescue him from the labyrinth. She meets lots of wacky Muppets, some who seem to be talking Monty Python inspired dialogue (Terry Jones wrote the original script). 

Bowie sings a song backed by his Muppet horde. And there's other musical numbers and a chaotic battle. In the end Sara must find a way to rescue little bro from the MC Escher inspired labyrinth. 

This imaginative musical fantasy is a combination of music, puppets and sfx directed by Muppets creator Jim Henson who had their own TV show from 1976-1981. Connelly was in Dario Argento's PHENOMENA the year before this.

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Superstition, Perhaps. Baloney, Perhaps Not

(alarmy)

 

THE BLACK CAT-1934-Peter Allison (David Manners) and his wife Joan (Jacqueline Wells aka Julie Bishop) are on their way to Vichgrad, must share their honeymoon rail card with Dr. Vitus Werdeghast (Bela Lugosi) who's on a mission of vengeance after having spent 15 years in a POW camp. When the talkative driver (Herman Bing) smashes up their cab, the newlyweds are forced to seek shelter in the art deco home of the sinister Hjalmar Poelzig (Boris Karloff), the very man Werdeghast (who has a fear of cats) has come to see. Joan is injured in the crash. Poelzig is a traitor who has built his domain on a killing field. Besides that, he stole Werdeghast's' wife and daughter. Unfortunately, both are now dead. Poelzig even has her preserved dead body. But Karin, the daughter is now actually Poelzig's lover/wife/prisoner. Still, he seems to lust for Joan. When the couple wants to leave, they are prevented by Werdeghast's servant (Harry Cording). Later, Joan meets Karin and Poelzig punishes her. Poelzig is a devil worshiper who plans to have a black mass with Joan as the special guest sacrifice. Werdeghast rescues Joan and tells him his daughter is still alive. With the help of his servant Werdeghast overcomes Poelzig and skins him alive. But when he tries to help Joan, dummy Peter mortally shoots him. Husband and wife escape as Werdeghast blows up the castle. 

This sometimes-disturbing pre-code, Universal horror film shows director Edgar Ulmer at his finest. He seems to be pushing the envelope with some of the situations that are only implied. This is also one of Karloff's best villainous roles with Lugosi giving a good performance, but his demise is kind of a letdown (couldn't he or Karloff had lived at the end of at least one of their movies?!). 

John Carradine has a small role as a satanic organist. Some of the other uncredited cult members include King Baggott, Symona Boniface (from 3 Stooges shorts), Michael Mark and Andy Devine.

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More Chan (Jackie, Not Charlie)

 

 (themoviedatabase,org)

SNAKE AND CRANE ARTS OF SHAOLIN-1978-8 Kung Fu masters create a new martial art called the 8 Steps of Snake and Crane. Yin-Fung (Jackie Chan) has the book the 8 masters wrote. He's looking for a man with a tattoo on his shoulder and he has lots of fights. The daughter of the leader of The Flying Tiger clan (Nora Miao) also wants it. 

There's a lot of characters who go in and out of the story and some great fights. Eventually Yin-Fung reveals all and gets his revenge. Directed by Chi-Hwa Chen who later made POLICE STORY (1985) with Chan.

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Everyone Breaks The Law

 

 (imdb)

THE STEEL TRAP-1952-Jim Osborne (Joseph Cotton), a bank VP plans to steal a million dollars from his firm and high tail it to Brazil with his wife, Laurie (Teresa Wright) and their young daughter. They have a million complications on their way but somehow they get to Brazil. When Laurie finds out his real plan she leaves him. Later, despite all his efforts, he decides to return the money. Also with Walter Sande, Jonathan Hale and William Hudson. 

Nice little border line film noir thriller, written and directed by Andrew Stone who had previously made STORMY WEATHER IN 1943 and went on to make THE LAST VOYAGE (1960) and RING OF FIRE (1961). Stars Cotten and Brewer had appeared together in Hitchcock's A SHADOW OF A DOUBT in 1943.

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Blow The Horn, Stan!

 

 (imdb)

SAPS AT SEA-1940-Mr. Hardy (Ollie) is diagnosed with hornaphobia and is allergic to horns. This is bad because he and Mr. Laurel (Stan) work at a horn factory. His doctor (James Finlayson) suggests he go on a sea trip but Hardy won't do it so Laurel suggests they stay on a docked boat. So after wrecking their room, they go rent a boat. For some reason they take a goat with them. After some antics, wanted gangster Nick Grainger (Dick Cramer) boards the ship. Then the goat chews away the rope mooring the boat and the three are set out to sea. When Nick almost kills Hardy, Stan plays his trombone and Hardy beats the thug up. They are entitled to a reward but still wind up in jail thanks to Laurel's storytelling! 

Gordon Douglas directed this outing with the team in another crazy, hilarious situation. Several people worked on the story and screenplay, including Harry Langdon and Felix Adler. Stan Laurel added some uncredited input.

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Baron Bava

 

 (imdb)

BARON BLOOD-1972-Peter comes from America to Austria to discover his roots and learn about this ancestor Baron Von Kleist (dubbed Baron Blood by the locals). At dinner with Uncle Karl and his family, Peter meets Eva (Elke Sommer) and they discuss a witch named Elizabeth Holly who put a curse on the Baron. For some reason, Peter wants to recite an incantation that could bring the Baron back to life. Eva takes him to the room where the Baron died and he invokes it. The Baron comes back as a deformed killer. When the castle is put up for auction a guy in a wheelchair named Becker (Joseph Cotton) buys it. Later they suspect he is the Baron who's restoring the castle complete with impaled victims and a torture chamber with recorded screams. The Baron reveals himself and in his torture chamber. He tortures Peter first. However, an ancient medallion causes the Baron's recent victims to rise and torture him to death. 

Stylish direction from the great Mario Bava, who made this between A BAY OF BLOOD and LISA AND THE DEVIL. It was a big hit in the US.

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Happy Father's Day!

 

 (imdb)

FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER-1928-A man named Alan (Charles Lamy) is summoned to the home of his friend Roderick Usher (Jean Debucourt), who lives in seclusion with his wife Madeline (Marguerite Gance). Rod-erick is obsessed with a portrait of his wife. When he thinks she has died he accidentally buries her alive. She breaks free of her tomb and comes back to haunt hubby. 

This adaptation of the classic Edgar Allan Poe story is very experimental in nature with many eerie and nightmarish scenes. Luis Bunuel is credited with the adaptation, a year before he and Salvador Dali made UN CHIEN ANDALOU, although it's unclear how much he contributed to the final film as he and director-producer Jean Epstein had an argument during the production and Bunuel left, leaving the director to make several changes in the story. Lead actress Gance was married to director Abel Gance (who appears as a bar patron) at the time and had appeared in his NAPOLEON the year before. This French production runs about 13 minutes. Another version was produced in the US in 1929.

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Un-Sold TV Series

 

 (etsy.com)

SPECTRE-1979-Arrogant supernatural investigator William Sebastian (Robert Culp) asks his ex-partner alcoholic Dr. Hamilton (Gig Young) on a case involving the Cyon family. After killing a succubus, Sebastian and Hamilton go to England on a plane piloted by Mitra Cyon (John Hurt). Inspector Cabell (Gordon Jackson) is there to greet them when they visit the burned-out house of Sebastian's friend. The demon Azmodious was accidentally sent free by Mitra’s stuck-up brother (James Villiers). It seems Mitra's sister Anitra (Ann Bell) is to be sacrificed. Also with Majel Barrett as Sebastian's housekeeper and Jenny Runacre. 

Gene Roddenberry was executive producer and co-writer of this pilot for a TV series that was rejected and shown instead in Europe as a feature film with (it's said) some nude scenes added. This was one of several TV pilots that Roddenberry was involved with in the 1970's that were never picked up. Filmed in England by director Clive Donner (WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT?) whose next theatrical release would be the “Get Smart” movie THE NUDE BOMB in 1980.

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Quotes

"And we don't know just where our bones will rest

To dust I guess

Forgotten and absorbed into the earth below"

1969-Smashing Pumpkins

"Most true it is, I dare to say, 

E'er since the Days of Eve,

The weakest Woman sometimes may

The wisest Man deceive…"

 Alexander Pope and William Pulteney's The Discovery; or, The Squire Turn'd Ferret. 1726

Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”

"Everything useful is ugly"...Théophile Gautier

"Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today"-Cherokee saying

"Since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved."-Machiavelli 

"Give a guy a big nose and some weird hair and he's capable of anything"..Frank Zappa

“Sometimes it seems to me that half the world lives on fear and the other half lives in it”..Dan Troop on “Lawman”.

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here”-The Tempest

“I never take notice of vulgar brawling”-Doc Holiday-TV's Wyatt Earp

Low Budget Anthology

 

 (looper.com)

HOUSE OF THE DEAD: ALIEN ZONE-1978-Talmudge (John Ericson), a married man having an affair with a married woman is dropped off by a cab on the wrong street on his way back to his hotel in the pouring rain. He's taken in by an odd guy (Ivor Francis) who turns out to be a mortician. He then relates the story of Miss Sibiler (Judith Novgrod), an uptight teacher who doesn't seem to like kids, who when she gets home seems to have an intruder in her house. Little children in Halloween masks seem to be the culprits…but are they really children? In the second, a serial killer kills 2 women while filming it. He's arrested by the police and we learn he was executed. Goes nowhere. Then America's greatest detective Malcohm Tolliver (Charles Aidman) meets Scotland Yards’ greatest detective Inspector McDowal (Bernard Fox) after Tolliver receives a mysterious threatening letter. When he investigates, McDowal tags along. They wind up killing each other. In the next one, a corporate office worker ignores a homeless man. He gets trapped in a building where a trash compactor and a wall of nails almost kill him. When he gets out, he's now like the homeless man. 

Finally, it appears the mortician is Death. Talmudge runs away and is shot by his lover's husband. The mortician is in the ambulance that takes his corpse away. Filmed in Oklahoma. The director Sharron Miller worked on lots of TV show episodes.

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Lake Zombies

 

 (imdb)

GHOST LAKE-2004-This young woman Rebecca (Tatum Adair) feels guilt over the death of her parents who were killed by a gas leak while she was having sex in a car. She goes to her parents' house in upstate NY. She meets a neighbor. Stan, who helps her put the lights on. He's semi-suspicious. She has hallucinations of her parents blaming her. While out jogging she says hello to a fisherman but he ignores her. Then she meets a talkative little girl and a rude dickhead fisherman who is pulled into the water by a glowing figure. After having some strange dreams and hearing weird noises, the little girl shows up in her house while she's outside stargazing and swimming with Stan. She sees the body of the dead fisherman but when authorities check they find nothing. The ignorant sheriff (Gregory Lee Kenyon; a terrible actor) who says Stan killed his own father, tells the story of a town that was once where the lake is and an old man and his submerged house. Later in a cemetery she’s terrorized by the dead fisherman. She conveniently meets Stan who says the sheriff is involved with drug pushing. There are a few zombies. 

This a pretty messed up waste of time with bad sfx and too much talk. And it's long (an hour and 52 minutes gone forever!). Writer/director Jay Woelfel also made TRANCERS 6 (2002).

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Urgh!

 

 (imdb)

URGH! A MUSIC WAR-1982-Over thirty bands from the early '80's punk and new wave scene are crammed into this. The Police start things off as they were the biggest band at the time. Then Wall of Voodoo, Toyah Wilcox, poet/rapper John Cooper Clarke, OMD, Chelsea, echo andOingo Boingo, Echo & The BunnyMen, Jools Holland, XTC, Klaus Nomi, Athletico, Spizz 80, The Go-Gos, Dead Kennedys, Steel Pulse, Joan Jett, Magazine, Surf Punks, Members, Au Pairs, Cramps, Invisible Sex (in their only performance), Pere Ubu, Devo, Alley Cats, John Otway, Gang of 4, 999, Fleshtones, Skafish, UB40. The version I saw had two performers cut: Gary Numan and Splodgeness Abounds. 

Some of the venues are in London, France, LA and NYC. It's an excellent time capsule with some really great performances, directed by Derek Burbidge who directed many music videos before this and even more later on.

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Whip Rewrite

 

(imdb)

THE WHIP HAND-1951-Matt Corbin (Elliot Reid) is fishing when he hits his head. He seeks help from Dr. Keller (Edgar Barrier) who doesn't think there is anything wrong. The hotel owner (Raymond Burr) and his wife (Lurene Tuttle) seem sus-picious. Eventually, Corbin discovers neo-Nazis/communists doing experiments with the help of a mad scientist (Otto Waldis). Nice, exciting ending.

THE WHIP HAND was planned by director William Cameron Menzies to have been quite different than the finished product. In the original, Adolf Hitler himself, who survived WW2, was to have been the leader of the new Reich. But executive producer Howard Hughes decided communism was more of a threat and ordered extensive re-shoots. Also with Peter Brocco, Carla Balenda, George Chandler and George Barrows.

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Joe Don Justice

(imdb)

FINAL JUSTICE-1985-2 Italian mobster brothers kill a sheriff and his deputy Geronimo (Joe Don Baker) chases them to the Mexican border. He kills one of them and captures Palermo (Venantino Venantini; CANNIBAL FEROX (1981)) who vows revenge. For some reason, Geronimo is assigned by Chief Wilson (Bill McKinney), to take Palermo back to Sicily to stand trial but through sabotage and violence Palermo escapes when the plane makes an emergency landing in Malta. Geronimo is ordered back to the US but instead he goes out on his own, shooting and disregarding orders. He's assisted by local Gina (Patrizia Pelligrino). Palermo's boss (Rosanno Brazzi) gives Palermo 24 hrs. to get rid of the American. 

Stupid low budget crime drama filmed entirely in Malta by producer/writer/director Greydon Clark (who plays the doomed sheriff). A US-Italy co-production. Baker (who died in May of 2025) starred in director Clark's JOYSTICKS in 1983. Rossano Brazzi (who directed and starred in THE CHRISTMAS THAT ALMOST WASN'T in 1966) was in Abel Ferrara's FEAR CITY the year before this.

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Giant Robots

(wallpaperaccess.com)

PACIFIC RIM-2013-Earth is invaded by giant prehistoric like monsters from another dimension. Dubbed "Kaiju", mankind counters by building "Jaegers", Transformer like giant robots controlled by two pilots whose minds link when they operate it. Charlie Hunnam (SONS OF ANARCHY) plays Raleigh Becket whose brother dies in battle with a monster. He winds up working in Alaska but is called back 5 years later when the government shuts down the program. The remaining Jaegers are deployed to Hong Kong where the project former leader Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba; THOR's Heimdall) has a plan to destroy the invaders. Along the way Becket meets Mako (Rinko Kikuchi; BABEL) another pilot tortured by child-hood memories of a Kaiju attack.

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Despite a couple of long stretches of character development and some comic humor that doesn't really work, PACIFIC RIM has some of the best SFX I've ever seen and the battle scenes take it to another level.  Director/co-writer Guillermo del Toro went on to make THE SHAPE OF WATER. Ron Perelman (who starred in the two HELLBOY by del Toro) is in it too. 

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Another Installment of...

Since I'm still setting up my new computer and haven't brought everything over from my old one, I had to take a little movie reviewing break. Here are some more interesting links I found on YouTube:

Fan Made Godzilla:

 https://youtu.be/isuDgr0ADP4?si=VVUiNE51w8ElUCBr

Takeshi Kitano Tribute:

https://youtu.be/jjzYxmR7Hz8?si=nCuz4STYuDs5Sz28

Might come in handy:

https://youtu.be/foX2BgfIQqg?si=84XJ_Lw5-EVYxO7w

About the paintings on Night Gallery:

https://youtu.be/rUAAFFQw6lI?si=PqoSt3kmWTe04w5h

A horror brawl:

https://youtu.be/X8iBq2g-KrY?si=mCAhuZWzLccJvXq6

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Chan Vs. Wooden Men

 

 (imdb)

SHAOLIN WOODEN MEN-1976-in a Shaolin temple, a guy everyone calls Little Mute (Jackie Chan), because he can't speak, gets in trouble a lot with the monks and meets a prisoner Fat Yu (Kang King) chained up in a cave who teaches him to fight. A nun (Ping-Yu Chang) also helps train him. He passes the test of the 36 Shaolin wooden men, a long corridor with giant wood men who continually punch, and leaves the temple. In the city, he meets a cafe owner (Hsin Chin) and his son (Kam Cheung) and daughter (Chun Lung). 

The Green Dragon gang kidnap her and Little Mute and the son go looking for her. They save Yu from being re-captured but split with him when they learn he’s a vicious killer. The story takes several turns with Little Mute having a showdown battle with his father's killer. Early Chan film directed Lo Wei.

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Wilder's Fright

 

 (imdb)

FRIGHT-1956-After psychiatrist Dr. Hamilton (Eric Fleming) helps police stop a murderer (Frank Marth) from jumping off a bridge, he meets Ann Summers (Nancy Malone; INTIMACY (1966)) who seems to have some problems. He regresses her through hypnotism where she speaks German. Then she disappears. Later he learns she was once Baroness Maria in 1889 Vienna. They wind up falling in love. The doc thinks it's a case of split personality but an annoying reporter prints the reincarnation story which causes a rift between the two lovers. Eventually, Maria takes Ann over completely and vanishes, leading the police to think she might have been murdered by the doc. To get her to come out of hiding, he convinces the murderer that he's the crown prince Maria might be looking for! 

Extreme boredom from director W. Lee Wilder, whose son Myles wrote the screenplay obviously inspired by the Bridey Murphy reincarnation case. The elder Wilder also made MANFISH the same year. Lead actor Fleming starred in QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE in 1958 and in 1959 began a long run as the trial boss on TV's “Rawhide”. TV actress Malone later was also a TV director.

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Don't Look A Zombie In The Mouth If He Has A Gift For You

 

 (themoviedb.org)

THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS-2016-Some whacko who didn't like children must have come up with the premise for this UK production. A fungus has turned the human race into noisy cannibalistic zombies. Some mad scientists, led by Dr. Caldwell (Glen Close) experiment on children trying to find a cure. Later, some of them escape with a young girl, Melanie (Sennia Nanua), a 10-year-old cannibal child with a high IQ. It seems she may be heralding a new kind of human.

Screenplay writer Mike Carey adapted his own book. Director Colm Mc-Carthy worked mostly on TV in England before this.

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From Finland

 

 (imdb)

THE MATCH FACTORY GIRL-1990-In Finland, lonely Iris (Kati Outinen) works a mundane factory job to support herself, her mother and stepfather who she keeps house for. She goes to dances but doesn't attract a partner. She buys a new dress but her parents disapprove. Later she meets a strange guy and they have sex. On a second date, the guy tells her he doesn't want a relationship (he thought she was a prostitute) and she should beat it. Later she finds out she's pregnant. It looks pretty bleak for Iris but then she decides to buy some rat poison….

This unconventional drama directed by Aki Aurismaki, is regarded as one of the greatest films to come out of “the land of a thousand lakes”. It's the third installment of the director's “Proletariat Trilogy”. I have to check them out some day...

Aurismaki is also known for his movies about the Finnish rock band “The Leningrad Cowboys”.

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One Was Enough

 

 (imdb)

PIRANHACONDA-2012-2 gigantic snake things terrorize a Hawaiian island where a low budget horror film is being made. Some gang also holds some of the cast & crew hostage. Everybody runs around, surviving or getting eaten. Michael Madsen is a snake hunter who has an egg. The special effects are terrible. It premiered on The Syfi channel.

Director Jim Wynorski did a re-make of THE GIANT GILA MONSTER after this mess.

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Very Cold

 

 (imdb)

COLD SKIN-2017-Interesting but ultimately disappointing Lovecraft inspired horror set on an island where a man (David Oakes) has come to be the new watchtower keeper. He meets a guy named Gruner (Ray Stevenson) who says the last keeper is dead. Strange sea creatures terrorize them. It's all downhill from there. 

This French/Spanish co-production was directed by Xaiver Gens (HITMAN (2007).

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One Scene Boris

 

TONIGHT OR EVER-1931-Opera singer Nella Vago (Gloria Swanson), though successful, is criticized by everyone because they say she sings without passion. She becomes infatuated with Jim Fletcher (Melvin Douglas) who's a gigolo to Bianca San Giovanni (Alison Skipworth). 

This was Melvyn Douglas’ film debut after starring in the successful Broadway production. Boris Karloff is in one scene as a butler. Director Mervyn LeRoy made LITTLE CAESAR the same year.

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Corman and Cohen

 

 (imdb)

SATURDAY THE 14TH-1981-John (Richard Benjamin) and Mary (Paula Prentiss) inherit a haunted house from a recently departed uncle. 

Unfortunately, a pair of vampires want a book they have that their son (Kevin Brando) has already opened and releasing some monsters. Weird things happen. An exterminator (Mousie Garner) sends Van Helsing (Severn Darden) to get rid of their bats. Waldemar (Jeffery Tambor), the male vampire puts the bite on Mary. 

Despite the inane jokes and the deliberate bad acting, there are some violent deaths and a severed head. It may have been funny in 1981 but now it's just a dated piece of dumbness. Also with Kari Michaelsen as their daughter, Rosemary De Camp, Stacey Keach Sr., and Roberta Collins. 

Written and directed by Howard R. Cohen, who made a sequel SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK in 1988. He worked a lot for Roger Corman. Later directing SPACE RAIDERS (1983) and DEATHSTALKER 4 (he wrote the other Deathstalker movies too).

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Another Cheapo Western

 

 (themoviedb.org)

WACO-1966-In Emporium, Wyoming, Sheriff Kelly (Richard Arlen) tries to keep law and order but is shot in the back. Councilman Gates (John Agar) wants the mayor (Robert Lowery) to hire convicted killer Waco (Howard Keel) to clean up the town which is controlled by Joe Gore (John Smith) and his partner in crime Rile (DeForrest Kelly). Waco's old flame, Jill (Jane Russell) is now married to preacher Sam Stone (Wendell Corey). 

Waco helps the mayor's daughter (Tracey Olsen) and roughs up some rowdy ranchers. He helps reform the drunken deputy (Gene Evans) but later, Waco decides to take over the town. He sends for his friend gunfighter Ross (Brian Donlevy). However, when Ross backs out, the whole town decides to defend their territory. 

Ben Cooper is a would-be deputy. Terry Moore works in the bar. Also with Fuzzy Knight. Director RG Springsteen who made many westerns in the  30's and 40's was already working in TV by the time of this low budget production. Singer Howard Keel had starred in THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS in 1963.

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Cheap Western

 

 (themoviedb.org)

YOUNG JESSE JAMES-1960-After evil Northern troops hang his father, Jesse James (Russ Stricklyn) wants to join the rebel army to get revenge but Quantrill (Emile Meyer) doesn't want him. His brother Frank (Robert Dix) and cousin Cole Younger (Williard Parker) don't want him there either. But Quantrill has a change of heart and sends Jesse into a town in drag. He has a problem with Zack (Rex Holman) but he saves his life. 

This misguided junk makes heroes out of scum while still showing they are cold blooded murders. They talk about revisionism today! 

Merry Anders is Belle Starr and Norman Leavitt, William Mims and Tyler McVey have small roles. Co-screenwriter Orville Hampton worked a lot with director Edward L. Cahn and later mostly did TV work. Director William F. Claxton directed many episodes of TV's “Bonanza” and later made THE NIGHT OF THE LEPUS (1972).

 (pbs.org)

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TV Snow Monster

 

 (themoviedb.org)

SNOW BEAST-1977-At the Rill ski lodge winter carnival owned by Emma (Sylvia Sidney), a snow monster kills a skier. Her grandson, Tony (Robert Logan) wants to report it but Emma is afraid it will hurt business. Then a ski patrol member is killed. Meanwhile, former Olympic gold medal winning skier, now disillusioned, Gar Seberg (Bo Svenson) and his unhappy reporter wife Ellen (Yvette Mimieux), Tony's former lover, come for a visit (Gar is looking for a job). Tony believes in the monster and wants to hire Gar to kill it but Gar is more sympathetic. They try to convince the sheriff (Clint Walker) that a Bigfoot is running around. The white hairy creature attacks the lodge and Ellen gets lost in the woods. Gar and Ellen get trapped in a cabin with the monster outside. The sheriff kills a bear and that seems to close the case even though everyone at the lodge saw the attack! Gar, Helen and Tony convince the sheriff to go hunting just in case. After the sheriff is killed, Gar has a snowdown, I mean showdown with the monster. 

The dumbest part of this made for TV movie is the monster POV shots including one with a ski pole. Written by Joseph Stefano (PSYCHO (1960) and directed by Herb Wallerstein who directed many TV show episodes but Snow Beast is his only full-length movie.

 Unfortunately, he was killed in 1985 by his live-in maid who claimed self-defense.

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They're Dead. They're...All Messed Up

 

 (themoviedb.org)

THE DEAD-(2010)-Lt. Brian Murphy (Rob Freeman), an America air force engineer, is the last survivor of a plane crash in West Africa during a zombie apocalypse. He fixes up an old car and journeys across the plains. He meets AWOL army officer Daniel (Prince David Osei) who's looking for his son and doesn't understand white men. Meanwhile, the army is killing all those infected. 

I liked this because the zombies were the slow-moving traditional kind. It's very gory. The end could have been better. Directors Howard J. and Jonathan Ford made THE DEAD 2: INDIA in 2013.

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Nothing New Here

 

 (themoviedb.org)

DEMONIC-2021-An idiotic cop and pompous police doctor investigate the mass murder inside a house where one guy is the only survivor. 

Meanwhile, found footage the group took is shown as the back story. They're all a bunch of assholes so who really cares why they went there. The house they visited was once the scene of another mass murder and the guy's mother was the only one who escaped. Nothing new from Neill Blomkamp, the director of the indefensible PROJECT 9.

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Reformed Vampires

 

 (imdb)

SUNDOWN: THE VAMPIRE IN RETREAT-1989-A prologue tells us that a community of vampires (Purgatory) live somewhere out west, no longer drinking human blood, using sunblock and other modern devices so that someday they can live in harmony with humans. David Harrison (Jim Meltzer), his wife Sarah (Morgan Brittany) and their 2 monster loving daughters come to town to help make artificial blood for the vampires. The town is run by Mardulak (David Carradine). Meanwhile, Jefferson (John Ireland) is planning a revolt and is gathering a vampire army. Another vampire Shane (Maxwell Caulfield), a former rival of David's ìs in league with Jefferson and invents wooden bullets to kill Mardulak's followers. Another visitor is Robert Van Helsing (Bruce Campbell), who's helped by Sandy, a waitress vampire (Deborah Foreman). Of course, Mardulak is really Dracula and there's a huge shootout between the two factions as a finale. 

Dabbs Greer is a German vampire. John Hancock is the sheriff. Emmett Walsh is a gas station attendant who decapitates a punk and Bert Remsen is his brother. Buck Flower is impaled with an umbrella. 

The story is part horror parody and part serious horror and it doesn't always mesh but Carradine, Campbell & Ireland are good. “Town Without Pity” and “Earth Angel” are played over the closing credits. 

This was director Anthony Hickox's second feature (after WAXWORK in 1988). His dad, Douglas directed Vincent Price in THEATER OF BLOOD (1973).

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