Never Got To Be Unsold

DEPUTY SERAPH-1959-This little tragedy was supposed to reunite The 3 Marx Brothers for a TV pilot but it was never finished as Chico became ill. It does consist of a few scenes but is mostly raw footage of reaction shots, close ups and flubs. Clapboards and the director are also present. The premise seems to be that two angels (Chico & Harpo) are sent to Earth to help people. Groucho is their motorcycle riding boss. Harpo and Chico play their well known instruments but that's about it. Neither Harpo or Groucho mention it in their autobiographies. I first learned of it from an article in FILMFAX.

Thanks for reading!

Religious

THE BLOOD OF JESUS-1941-After a baptism ceremony Martha (Cathryn Caviness), a devout religious woman is accidentally shot by her “heathen” husband Razz (Spencer Williams). It's believed she won't survive and everyone prays for her. After she appears to die she is visited by an angel and her spirit leaves her body. The angel takes her on a tour of the spirit world where hooded figures walk around graves. The angel tells her to go to the crossroads to find her fate and almost immediately the devil (who laughs like a lunatic) sends a dapper guy named Judas to tempt her (“Ok Judas. Do your stuff”) and lead her off the road of righteousness with a nice dress and fancy shoes. He takes her to a nightclub in the city that features singers and some weird dancers. Unfortunately she becomes a prostitute but later runs away chased by some guys who think she stole a wallet. At the crossroads (a sign has “To Hell” pointing one way and “To Zion” pointing another) there's a flat bed truck with a jazz combo (the devil is the driver). Just when the men are about to stone Martha the Lord's thundering voice sends them running. A heavenly choir and the blood of Christ bring her back to the living and everyone sings (for some reason one guy faints). 

This “race film” was the brainchild of actor/director/writer Spencer Williams (who'd provided the screenplay for the notorious SON OF INGAGI a few years before). Said to have been made on a budget of $5,000 and I wouldn't doubt it as BLOOD's special effects are crude and the actors (most were amateurs) deliver their lines with little emotion. Yet there is something that makes this movie click (at least for me). Perhaps it's Williams' belief in his subject matter. Whatever the case it's a low budget winner in my book! 

 Williams directed 10 more films after this (at least one is lost) and after leaving the film business for a while played Andy on TV's “The Amos and Andy Show” from 1951-1955. He died in 1969.

Final note: IMDB lists no date for death for one of the actors in BLOOD, that of Juanita Riley who plays one of Martha's friends. If still alive she'd be 99 at the time of this writing!

Thanks for reading!

Not An Elvis Remake!

THE CURSE OF EL CHARRO-2005-This typical gory mean spirited horror tale takes place in California where a young college student named Maria (Drew Mia) suffers from nightmares while coping with the suicide of her sister. Her roommate (Heidi Androl) invites her to go along with two other girls to her uncle's remote house in Arizona. Along the way the meet a hick cop who, after oral sex, takes them to a scary dark bar where a weird guy in a wheelchair sings a terrible punk metal like song. Later they meet some guys at a club (run by dwarfs) and return to the house for drinking, drugging and sex but not before Maria has a strange vision done in a super 8 black and white silent film (with title cards) relating the tale of El  Charro (executive producer Andrew Bryniarski with Danny Trejo's voice), a Mexican demon who wanted Maria's ancestor for himself but she rejected him so in retaliation he slaughtered her whole family. Before the townspeople destroyed him El placed a curse on the family bloodline and swore he'd be back. Well he keeps his promise and dismembers, hacks and kills everyone until the archangel David (James Intveld) appears and kills Charro. Unfortunately for Maria she winds up in a padded cell and blamed for all the murders. Motorhead's Lemmy has a brief bit as a priest.

This usual bloodletting nonsense was directed by Rich Ragsdale who since CHARRO has wisely only made film shorts. Much of it is too dark and the script and acting are terrible (but what else is new?). El Charro portrayer Bryniarski was Leatherface in the 2003 remake of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (and it's later sequel). He kind of looks like a trick or treat version of pro-wrestler The Undertaker.

Thanks for reading!