Later,,,,

IN BRUGES-2008-This Tarantino inspired junk is about 2 hit men (Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson) who hide out in Bruges, Belgium waiting for instructions from their boss (Ralph Fiennes). What good can be said of a movie where Farrell (one of the most overrated actors in history) kills a priest and child, beats up a woman and is also the romantic lead in this stupid violent comedy-drama? Not much. It was the first full length film by stage director/playwright Martin McDonagh. Let's hope he sticks to what he knows best. 

Carpentry perhaps?

Thanks to my pal Tony for lending me this.

Invasion of The Inept Film Makers

THE INVASION-2007-Nicole Kidman tries to save her Hollywood movie career by starring in this new adaptation/remake of INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (based on the book by Jack Finney).

She plays a psychiatrist who notices people are “changing” after a space shuttle crashes and spreads a flu like disease. Current James Bond portrayer Daniel Craig is her scientist boyfriend. The transformed humans do a lot of spitting into the faces of their intended victims. Alien police round up people who show emotion. Kidman pops a lot of pills and washes it down with Mountain Dew.

The whole intent of the original story is kind of twisted here. Where as in the original version aliens taking over human beings against their will and turning them into emotionless drones, stealing their individuality and making them incapable of feelings like love was to say the least a pretty evil act! However in this version the aliens are actually seen as a force for good because while people might lose their emotions they have somehow eradicated the war in Iraq and gotten George Bush and Hugo Chavez to work together (and get oil for NYC!).

You would think that Kidman would have seen her ex-husband’s WAR OF THE WORLDS remake and learned from his mistakes.

Also with Veronica Cartwright (who was in Phillip Kaufman’s 1978 version), Jeffery Wright, Jeremy Northam, Josef Sommer and Roger Rees. Former video action star Jeff Wincott is a small role as a cop.

This was the first English language film by German director Oliver Hirschbiegel (THE DOWN FALL). After it was finished the studio (Warner Bros.) was unhappy with his final cut and brought in THE MATRIX brothers Andy and Larry Wachowski to do some re-writing and James McTeigue (V IS FOR VENDETTA) to direct some new scenes. This may account for dismal premise and the shoddy ending that ties everything up and makes no real sense.

"The road to a friend’s house is never long"-Danish proverb

Thanks for reading!

2 Bad

IN THE SPIDER’S WEB-2007-Crazy nonsense has a group of backpackers in India stumble upon a mysterious village where a Dr. Lecorpus (Lance Henriksen) and his strange brother like to inject people with spider venom as part of some local spider cult. They are actually harvesting organs for the black market. Henriksen makes a good villain but the best character is the comical local police sergeant who helps them. It sort of turns into a comedy for the climax!




MANTICORE-2005-In Iraq a dopey professor resurrects an ancient beast to seek revenge. A team of soldiers led by Robert Beltran go looking for a missing reporter and most of them get eaten. It’s pretty stupid and the soldiers act like assholes. Jeff Fahey is the major in charge. Director Tripp Reed was a former actor.

"I've got to stopping watching movies on the Sci-Fi channel"-me

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Reel Horror..Real Bad

REEL HORROR-1985-Be warned! This is not a movie! It’s a piece of crap! It’s actually a compilation of 8 movies just thrown together with a some new video footage added of some freaks trying to be funny. I say trying to be because although there’s music and sound effects there’s no dialogue! Even when the actors (?) are speaking!

And the films they use aren’t actually scenes. They are more like condensed versions! To add to the nonsense the films are also shown without dialogue and new music and sound effects are added! All the non-action stops at one point so a stupid song can be sung!

According to the credits this dreck was “conceived and directed by” actor Ross Hagen, a guy who’s been hanging out in independent movies for years. He produced and starred in the ludicrous SIDEHACKERS and directed as well as co-starred in one of the films used here, NIGHT CREATURE. He must have been doing some heavy drugs when he “conceived” this. But the actually worst thing about it is they have the nerve to imply that John Carradine Leslie Caron and Catherine Bach star in this mess because of their appearances in the films that were used!

It’s a good thing capital punishment isn’t used for bad filmmaking. Some of the other films used: CYCLE SAVAGE MAXIE NICOLE and PIGS.

Thanks to my friend Tony who supplied the DVD I saw and thanks for reading!