How About Trained To Direct?

TRAINED TO KILL-1989-In this silly martial arts revenge flick two brothers go after the dirt bags who killed their father (Chuck Connors in one of his last roles). One is his natural son Matt (direct to video action star Frank Zagarino) and the other is an adopted son Sam (Glen Eaton) from Cambodia. Henry Silva is Ace Duran who leads a band of escaped army criminals (including Robert D'Zar) who steal some diamonds Sam had (unknowingly) brought with him to the US. Ron O'Neal is George, an alcoholic 'Nam vet friend who joins them and trains the duo ("When you fight get yourself back to the jungle"). Unfortunately when Duran's henchman Loc Syn (Harold Diamond looking like an overage rock star) kills George the story really suffers. 

The scene where the gang beats up Connors is ridiculous. The former RIFLEMAN star is bigger than any of his attackers and has to crouch so he doesn't tower over them! Several scenes have visible microphones and a cheesy '80's dance song plays when they all train. The fight scenes are terrible and the acting, script and direction all suck too but Silva and O'Neal almost save it. TV actress Arlene Golonka plays Connors doomed wife and Jason Vorhees portrayer Kane Hodder has a small role. 

Director H. Kaye Dyal's biggest claim to fame seems to be he created the story for LONE WOLF MCQUADE. This was filmed in Las Vegas and Ray Dennis Steckler is credited as Las Vegas coordinator! 

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Ramblin' About Bad Movies....

Let's see there was this movie ALIEN TERMINATOR (1996). It's an ALIEN ripoff about an annoying bunch of imbeciles (called scientists for some reason....) stuck way underground and subjected to a virus created by a cocaine sniffing researcher (named Newton). There's a little (very little actually) nudity and gore, the film's too dark and the little seen monster really sucks. Maria Ford stars. Director Dave Payne later did ADDAMS FAMILY REUNION, a direct to video second sequel starring Tim Curry and Daryl Hannah as Gomez and Morticia. 




And then there was the Mike Curb produced DEADLY PAST (1994), standard nonsense involving murder and double crosses with former model Carol Alt using a guy (Eric Roberts clone Ronny Marquette) to her own ends and his girlfriend (Dee Dee Pfeiffer) getting caught in the middle with a psycho (future TV Crow star Mark Dacascos). I remember when director Tibor Takacs (originally from Hungry btw) made some good movies like THE GATE and I, MADMAN......



SHADOW WARRIORS from 1995 slips in next from Roger Corman's New Horizons. Here a Global Cybernetics honcho (THE STEPFATHER's Terry O'Quinn) invents T-S4, "the future in personal protection", actually reanimated dead people turned into bodyguards! Unfortunately Mikail, a silver one in The Ukraine goes crazy. O'Quinn's head of security (Timothy Patrick Cavanugh) and Mikail's programmer (Ashley Anne Graham) go and try to shut him down. A stateside T-S4 (Evan Lurie) helps them out by jumping out of a plane and duking it with Mikail, who shoots and blows up people and says things like "Time to sleep. Time to dream". Director Lamar Card made THE CLONES and DISCO FEVER so you've been warned......




Frank Zagarino has been starring in bad videos for a long time now. In WITHOUT MERCY (also from the incredible year of 1995) his character gets captured by Somalian rebels, is imprisoned and tortured and even gets kicked by a little girl. Years later he's a streetfighter (with flashbacks). The little girl who kicked him is now all grown up and with sleaze bag Martin Kove. There's fights (including one on an outboard motorboat) and explosions but the acting's not very good. Fortunately for all of us, Robert Anthony, the writer/director of this opus never made another movie......


I could go on but you've suffered enough!!

For now!!!!!!

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