Why Can't the Dairy Queen Have Children?

 

 (imdb)

SWIRLEE-2000-Softy (James Lorinz who also directed), a man with an ice cream cone for a head, lives with his friend Tony (David Caruso). He doesn't have many prospects and Tony has a hard time supporting both of them. After a brief encounter dancing with a hooker, Softy visits Don Gelato, a foul mouth gangster who took over Softy's ice cream business. Gelato ridicules Softy and has him beaten up. Softy struggles to get home and some school kids even crowd around him to eat ice cream off his head. He decides to commit suicide by taking a warm bath but Tony saves him. They go and kill Don Gelato and his two friends Don Sorbet and Don Tofutti. 

Lorinz was the star of Frank Henenlotter's FRANKENHOOKER (1990). It was produced by Roy Frumkes (STREET TRASH (1987); which Lorinz also had a role in). Pretty bizarre...

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Frankenhooker

FRANKENHOOKER-1990-In NJ an overweight girl named Elizabeth (former Penthouse Playmate Patty Mullen) is killed by an electric mower. Her fiance' Jeffery (James Lorinz) who works for the electric company and dabbles in science experiments becomes obsessed with trying to recreate her. He keeps her severed head in a vat of boiling chemicals and at night puts the head on the table and has dinner with it (and reads it poetry) in his garage/lab in the house where he lives with his mother (Louise Lasser). When he gets tense he uses an electric drill on his brain. Like in THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, Jeffery needs a new body for his beloved so he hires some hookers (with a cliche pimp named Zorro) to find a bod that will fit Elizabeth. But when they ingest some crack like drug Jeffery has brought along they all explode and there are bloody body parts everywhere. Jeffery takes all the body parts back to his lab and stitches them together for a new body and brings it to life with electricity (and a serum that only works on women). What he gets is a scarred white faced hooker/zombie who escapes and hits the street. Her first customer/victim is a short bald comical white guy who explodes (and his decapitated head talks). Jeff eventually brings Elizabeth back to life but she doesn't like it. Zorro follows Jeffery home and decapitates him but the left over hooker parts kill Zorro. Somehow Elizabeth manages to save Jeffery by putting his head on a woman's body. He's not happy about that. Zacherley (the voice Aylmer in the director's BRAIN DAMAGE) appears briefly as a TV weatherman and Shirley Stoler from THE HONEYMOON KILLERS, is a bartender.

This is another bizarre unique horror outing from director Frank Henenlotter (BASKETCASE). It's gory but very clever and funny and you'll never see a better “hookers exploding while using crack” scene anywhere!

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