Vampire Hookers

 

 

 (rotten tomatoes)

BEVERLY HILLS VAMP-1989-In this dumb vampire comedy, 3 would be filmmakers (Eddie Deezen, Tim Conway Jr. & another guy) become involved with a vampire madam (Britt Ekland) and her hooker vampires (Michelle Bauer, Julian Kesner, Debra Lamb). Jay Richardson is a movie producer and Robert Quarry has a small role as a priest who mentions Count Yorga! 

This is a typical Fred Olen Ray comedy runs hot and cold. I liked HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS (made the year before) a lot better...

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Milligan on 42nd Street

 

 (imdb)

FLESHPOT ON 42nd STREET-1973-Ha! This terrible Andy Milligan movie is about a dumb whore and her various tricks. It almost seems like like a sleazy documentary. The cast is made up almost exclusively of hardcore porno actors including Laura Cannon, Harry Reems and Fred Lincoln. Neil Flanagan, Guru in Milligan's GURU THE MAD MONK, is a weird homo in a bad wig. It's really terribly made but the performances aren't bad and there's great scenes of the old 42nd street. If you like crappy '70's porno with grotesque '70's sex scenes then this is for you. Hooker Dusty (Laura Cannon) shacks up with transvestite Cherry (Flanagan) but changes her plans when she meets Bob (Harry Reems) but things don't work out as she plans and she returns to doing tricks.

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Total Dolemite Experience

DOLEMITE-1975-Perhaps in his day, rhyming comedian Rudy Ray Moore was cool. Nowadays, he's an unintentional laugh-riot at least in this his first movie. Moore plays the title character, a wrongly convicted jive talking pimp nut job who is let out of prison to help bring down gangster Willie Green (D'Urville Martin who also directed). He beats up white guys (the fight scenes are pathetic) and lives with several hookers and a madame named Queen Bee (Lady Reed). He wants revenge because of the death of his nephew. He does a rhyming routine about The Titanic for some drunken “fans” who can't afford to see him perform and gets information from a drug addict named Creeper (said to have been a real junkie). 

Two corrupt white cops dog his trail. Meanwhile an undercover FBI agent Blakeley (Jerry Jones; also the screenwriter) tries to help Dole. After performing at his own club, Dole enlists a bunch of Kung-Fu fighting whores to battle Green's gang. Even the cook in the club beats up a guy! Dolemite gets bloody vengeance on Green but the real bad guy behind it all is the corrupt weaselly white mayor (Hy Pike). The scenes of the FBI agents chasing down the mayor seem like part of a different movie. There's also a weird preacher and Moore saying things like “That's for fuckin' with me you no business born insecure motherfucker!”. Moore is also created with original adaptation.

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Frankenhooker

FRANKENHOOKER-1990-In NJ an overweight girl named Elizabeth (former Penthouse Playmate Patty Mullen) is killed by an electric mower. Her fiance' Jeffery (James Lorinz) who works for the electric company and dabbles in science experiments becomes obsessed with trying to recreate her. He keeps her severed head in a vat of boiling chemicals and at night puts the head on the table and has dinner with it (and reads it poetry) in his garage/lab in the house where he lives with his mother (Louise Lasser). When he gets tense he uses an electric drill on his brain. Like in THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, Jeffery needs a new body for his beloved so he hires some hookers (with a cliche pimp named Zorro) to find a bod that will fit Elizabeth. But when they ingest some crack like drug Jeffery has brought along they all explode and there are bloody body parts everywhere. Jeffery takes all the body parts back to his lab and stitches them together for a new body and brings it to life with electricity (and a serum that only works on women). What he gets is a scarred white faced hooker/zombie who escapes and hits the street. Her first customer/victim is a short bald comical white guy who explodes (and his decapitated head talks). Jeff eventually brings Elizabeth back to life but she doesn't like it. Zorro follows Jeffery home and decapitates him but the left over hooker parts kill Zorro. Somehow Elizabeth manages to save Jeffery by putting his head on a woman's body. He's not happy about that. Zacherley (the voice Aylmer in the director's BRAIN DAMAGE) appears briefly as a TV weatherman and Shirley Stoler from THE HONEYMOON KILLERS, is a bartender.

This is another bizarre unique horror outing from director Frank Henenlotter (BASKETCASE). It's gory but very clever and funny and you'll never see a better “hookers exploding while using crack” scene anywhere!

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He's Tight, Together and Mean!

WILLE DYNAMITE-1974-Serious (but sometimes unintentionally funny) “blaxpoltation” film in the world of pimps and hookers.

Roscoe Orman (later a regular on SESAME STREET) is the title character an outrageous vicious pimp with a menagerie of women working for him. Diana Sands (in her second to last movie) co-stars as a social worker trying to put him out of business. Thalmus Rasulala is her district attorney boyfriend who tries to help. Meanwhile 2 cops (George Murdock and Albert Hall) try to nail him. 

Unlike a lot of other films like this the story doesn’t glorify Willie but the kind of happy ending ruins it. His pimp clothes are really something though!

Director Gilbert Moses made THE FISH THAT ATE PITTSBURGH and did a lot of TV.

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