Calling Lou Ferrigno!

THE LEGEND OF HERCULES-2014-In this CGI laden fantasy that looks more like a video game, Hera allows a woman to bear Zeus's song. 20 years later, the son named Hercules (Kellan Lutz) is in love with the Princess of Crete (Gaia Weiss; later in the TV series VIKINGS) but his jealous half brother Iphicles (Liam Garrigan) gets in the way. When Herc kills a lion with his bare hands Iphicles takes the credit. After Herc is sold into slavery he has to fight a guy who looks like a muscle bound version of the lead singer from “Fishbone”. The fights are comical and Lutz could certainly go down in film history as the most un-Hercules of any Hercules ever portrayed on film! Renowned hack Renny Harkin should find another job he's better suited for.

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It Sinks!

DEEP BLUE SEA-1999-A idiotic group of scientists is working on a cure for Alzheimer’s disease but giant killer sharks that a moronic doctor (Saffron Burrows) “made smart” by “gene therapy” want to kill everybody. Samuel L. Jackson stars as the head of the pharmaceutical corporation that funds the project but even he can’t save this cliched ridden script that wants to out jaws JAWS! (Like in JAWS 2 the shark sinks a helicopter)

Underrated actor Stellan Skarsgaard is ok in his role (he winds up having his arm bit off; much like Jackson in JURASSIC PARK) but stars Thomas Jane (THE PUNISHER) and Burrows (MISS JULIE) are terrible. Basically it’s just a run of the mill monster movie with a lot of scientific mumbo jumbo and laughable gory SFX thrown in to try and fool you into thinking the makers knew what they were doing. But of course they didn't.

DBS was directed by the usually incompetent Renny Harlin who also helmed the disasters CUTTHROAT ISLAND, THE LONG KISS GOODBYE (also with Jackson) and EXORCIST:THE BEGINNING (also with Skarsgaard). And way to much time is spend on LL Cool J's religious semi-comical character. Michael Rapaport is also in it.

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