The Maddest Story Ever Told!

SPIDER BABY or THE MADDEST STORY EVER TOLD-1968-This quirky black and white horror film may not be the maddest but it's certainly one of the strangest!It starts out with the legendary Lon Chaney singing the title theme over the credits!

The story concerns the Merrye family who suffer from "Merrye Syndrome", a genetic disorder caused by inbreeding. Lon Chaney is great as Bruno the insanely smiling family caretaker, chauffeur and guardian of the three Merrye children: Ralph (Sid Haig, still doing mostly TV at this time), a bald mute lunatic, the homicidal Elizabeth (Beverley Washburn) and the spider obsessed Virginia (Jill Banner). A few cannibalistic aunts and uncles also live in a pit in their basement. After Virginia kills a messenger (the great Mantan Moreland) the family is visited by Peter (Quinn Redecker) and Emily Howe (Carol Ohmart from THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL) distant relatives who want the family house. Also along is their weaselly lawyer Mr. Schlocker (Karl Schanzer) and his secretary Ann (Mary Mitchel). When the guests decide to stay for dinner Ralph kills a cat so they have food to serve. Though everyone else acts disgusted and snobby, Peter seems oblivious to the macabre surroundings. He's very cheerful and nice to his hosts. After Peter takes Ann out for a drink Schocker snoops around.  The girls slice him up because he doesn't like spiders ("This isn't right. There are proper procedures!"). Later the girls chase Emily (clan in black underwear) through the forest and Ralph rapes her (off-screen). When Peter and Mary return Elizabeth and Ralph kidnap Mary while Virginia ties Peter up and does her spider dance. Emily now crazy finds Ralph and blinds him. Peter manages to break his bonds and flee with Mary just before Bruno blows the place up. Peter (who narrates at the beginning and the end) 10 years later lives happily ever after with his Mary, now his his wife and their young daughter...or do they?  

SPIDER BABY was pretty much ignored in it's initial release (according to director Jack Hill it was hard to get a distributor because by 1968 black and white films were out of date) but since then it's become a cult movie and it's easy to see why. Chaney really throws himself into his demented role lecturing the murdering brood:  "How many times have I told you it's not nice to hate?" "How many times do I have to tell you just because something isn't good doesn't mean it's bad!"  His career was really almost non-existent by this point and his health problems were getting worse but he still puts in a memorable performance.

It's really strange to see a once funny guy like Mantan Moreland getting stabbed to death while caught in a window. It's not graphic though except for a quick shot of his severed ear. He made a few more movie and TV appearances before dying in 1973. Quinn Redeker was a familiar TV actor and screenwriter who was nominated for an Academy Award in 1978 for co-writing THE DEERHUNTER. Both Karl Schanzer and Mary Mitchel had been in DEMENTIA 13 in 1963. Beverley Washburn was a former child actress who was on many TV shows. Her Elizabeth is very whacky and frightening.

But Jill Banner steals the whole show as the alluring, innocent but bloodthirsty Virginia who really loves her spiders. She was in a few other movies (THE PRESIDENT'S ANALYST & A MAN, A HORSE, A GUN) and TV shows (she was in around 5 episodes of DRAGNET!) but quit acting soon after. She was killed in a car accident in 1982.

Director Jack Hill made this around the same time he filmed Boris Karloff's American scenes for his last 4 film appearances (produced in Mexico).

http://www.spiderbabyonline.com/

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Just In Time For Halloween

THE MAD MONSTER-1942-Dr. Lorenzo Cameron (the great George Zucco) talks to a caged wolf in his lab then turns a cheerful, dimwitted farm hand named Pedro (Glenn Strange) into a scary snarling wolf-man (in overalls). He then addresses an imaginary panel of doctors who ridiculed him and banished his ass from his chair at a university. They didn't like his idea of creating an army of wolf-men to fight wars. Cameron vows revenges.  Pedro is very friendly especially toward the mad doctor's daughter Lenora (Ann Nagel). "It must be great to be educated", Pedro says to the doc. Cameron later lets Pedro the wolf wander the foggy swamp. Although Cameron wants to use the monster to get revenge on his former colleagues the wolf monster's first victim is a little girl. Cameron gets ready to visit and execute his first victim Prof. Blaine (Robert Strange). Meanwhile Lenora's reporter boyfriend Tom (top billed Johnny Downs) talks to Blaine about the possibility of a giant lizard being the murderer. Later after a long scene leading up to the killing of Blaine, Pedro transforms without the aid of the doctor's formula. Tom comes by looking for a story but the doctor turns him away. Later he tricks another doctor into taking a drive with Pedro just as Tom has organized a small hunting party, Then Lenora snoops around her dad's lab she runs smack into the wolf man. Amid a fire, creation turns against creator and a fire destroys everything.

Despite being made by PRC, the lowest of the low budget studios, THE MAD MONSTER has it's moments. The highlight is George Zucco's performance as the totally rational, totally mad Dr. Cameron. He really loses it at times. Zucco made appearances in many bigger budgeted Hollywood films but spend a lot of time at places like PRC and would go on to make a few more for the company like the vampire tinged DEAD MEN WALK the next year. Glenn Strange is ok as the unwitting pawn in his employer's cruel experiments and as the wolf-man he's downright terrifying! Especially when he's wandering through the foggy swamp. Ann Nagel had previously been a successful contract player at Warner Bros. but her career took a nosedive after her marriage to actor Ross Alexander. She later had un-credited roles in MIGHTY JOE JOE and the excellent low budget film noir ARMORED CAR ROBBERY. Johnny Downs was once a member of "Our Gang". Henry Hall & Mae Busch also have  small roles.

This is by far one of the best made movies by super speedy Sam Newfield who made a staggering 20 movies in 1942 (some times using pseudonyms)!

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Below Good

BELOW ZERO-2011-A screenwriter (haggard looking Edward Furlong) has himself locked in a freezer so he can finish a script (?). The movie then turns into the story he's writing. A tow truck operator (also Furlong) seeks shelter in a slaughterhouse where a evil looking guy (Michael Berryman) cries while chopping up a body. The story changes occasionally when the writer changes his mind about the plot. Then it's back to reality when he finds a dead body in the freezer with him...maybe...

This is a bad attempt to combine horror with "The Singing Policeman". The director Justin Thomas  should not be acknowledged,

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Shaolin Prince

SHAOLIN PRINCE-1982-The last survivors of a clan must protect two princes. 2 "prime ministers" each take a boy and flee. This martial arts drama starts off with a bang as the guardians are attacked by warriors representing fire and water. A guy with an iron glove who can break swords is also featured. One prime minister arrives at a safe destination with one of the kids but the other  kid is thought dead. Of course he's alive and is taken in by 3 Shaolin holy fools who raise the boy in secret. The trio due a lot of slapstick Kung-Fu. During an exorcism a women grows long finger nails and kills. The "twin princes" eventually meet and team up to fight the evil "9th prince" in a truly whacked out ending! Director Chia Tang was a stunt coordinator on many films and only directed a few himself.

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It Played at Cannes!

FROM WITHIN-2008-Weird THE RING/THE GRUDGE inspired nonsense set in a town run by religious fanatics. They once killed a woman thought to be a witch and now a rash of suicides have occurred. A young girl named Lindsey (Elizabeth Rice; later in the TV show MAD MEN) tries to discover the truth with the help of the accused witch's son (Thomas Dekker; TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNORS CHRONICLES TV show)  and his stupid cousin (Kelly Blatz). A curse seems to be killing everyone. The best part of this is the interesting twist ending. The director Phedon Papamichael has done more work as a cinematographer. 

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Not a Jurassic Park Sequel!

THE LOST WORLD-1960-The great Claude Rains (with red hair) portrays Prof. Challenger, the grumpy, ill tempered explorer in this Technicolor adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's novel. He's back from the Amazon where he claims to have seen living dinosaurs. He's ridiculed by his colleagues at a meeting but organizes an expedition that includes the pompous Prof. Summerlee (Richard Haydn), big game hunter Lord Roxton (Michael Rennie), his girlfriend Jennifer (Jill St. John), her brother David (Ed Stricklyn, RETURN OF DRACULA) and reporter Ed Malone (David Hedison, in the TV show FIVE FINGERS at the time). They are joined by guitar strumming Gomez (Fernando Lamas), their helicopter operator and his assistant Castro (Jay Novello). After a dinosaur wrecks their helicopter Malone chases and catches a native girl (Vitina Marcus) and kills a giant green spider. While Roxton and Malone have a fist fight they find the diary of Burton White, another explorer who got to the prehistoric land before Challenger (Roxton was suppose to go with them but he was delayed). The dinosaurs that menace the party are actually little lizards made up to look scary. They terrorize the group and 2 "dinos" have a long tussle. Everyone is taken captive by the local cannibal natives. The native girl helps them escape and takes them to see the still alive but blind White (Ian Wolfe) who tells them how to escape (before the whole place blows up) although they have to go through many obstacles plus a revenge seeking Gomez.

THE LOST WORLD is fairly entertaining. It has a good cast and acting (although some seem to think Rains is too bombastic) but really not much happens. The SFX and sets aren't that great. Two standout points: One is that until the last 15 minutes not one of the group gets killed. The other is Jill St. John's Jennifer who is explained by several characters as being a person capable of being in the expedition despite being a woman yet all she does is scream when there's danger (with her pet poodle in tow)!

This was Irwin Allen's first movie as director since THE STORY OF MANKIND in 1957. Most of the dinosaur footage was re-used in his '60's TV shows. Screenwriter Charles Bennett wrote for many of the TV shows Allen later produced. Claude Rains was coming to the end of his long career (he died in 1967) and doing mainly TV (he starred in 5 ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS) at the time.

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Short Fu

(THE) BUDDHA ASSASSINATOR-1980-An evil prince (Hwang Jang Lee) is searching for a former Shoalin monk (Chien Yuet San) in this typical martial arts movie. Chow Ya (Mang Hoi), the monk's pudgy faced ex-student fights to protect his former teacher. There's too much talk until the climax. Made in Taiwan by director Chin Hu Tung.

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