Happy Halloween!

 

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PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE-1959-When I first saw Plan 9 in 1976 at The NYC Comic-Con I agreed it was probably one of the worst movies ever made. But if that was true why is it that after it ended I couldn't wait to see it again? (It was about four or five years later. In between I bought the "soundtrack" album which was simply the whole audio portion of the film transferred to a record. It also sported liner notes purportedly penned by Ed Wood Jr. himself shortly before his death in 1978). 

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Not the worst movie ever made (Hollywood has churned out far more crap on 100 times the budget), it is one of of the best bad movies ever made that you'll enjoy watching over and over! Bela Lugosi's scenes had been filmed a few years before and sat on a shelf until Wood devised Plan 9 with the help of big Tor Johnson, a retired pro wrestler in his second of three Ed Wood outings, who spouts more dialogue in this than in all his other movie appearances combined, Vampira, a trend setting TV horror hostess, Criswell, an outrageous pseudo-psychic who among other things predicted the world would end in 1990 and a drag actor named John "Bunny" Breckenridge who makes no bones that he's reading his lines from papers on his desk! There are some "legit" actors in it too. Lyle Talbott, Tom Keene, Gregory Walcott and Joanna Lee (who later became a successful TV writer and producer). Not to forget Dudley Manlove who played Eros the alien, a guy who was mostly an announcer but also appeared in another low budget wonder "The Creation of The Humanoids"! I've also seen him on two episodes of "Alfred Hitchcock Presents". Rounding out the cast are Duke Moore (who's entire film credits are roles in Ed Wood's movies), Conrad Brooks (who appeared in other low budget productions and many years later made his own "movies"), Paul Marco (who played the dumb cop named Kelton in three Wood movies) and rotund Ben Frommer, who became a TV character actor. 

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And of course, chiropractor Dr. Tom Mason the "fake Shemp" who stood in for the late Lugosi but looked nothing like him! Much of what's said about the goofs in certain scenes is exaggerated and the scene of Tor rising from the grave is well done. Ok so the tombstone falling over is pretty cheesy....

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Killer Shark Shit

 

 (wikipedia)

TINTORERA: KILLER SHARK-1977-In Mexico a series of shark attacks don't seem to bother anyone. Jaws inspired nonsense that goes down hill after an English woman (Fiona Lewis) is killed. Susan George shows up to party with Hugo Stiglitz, Jennifer Ashley (later in CHAINED HEAT) and Carlos East (a regular in the director's movies) but who cares? Sharks attack, people are killed. Really terrible Mexico production. Director Rene Cordona Jr. later made the all star exploitation movie GUYANA: CULT OF THE DAMNED.

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In The Future

 

 (imdb)

IDAHO TRANSFER-1973-At facility in Idaho, a secret project plans to send young people 56 years into the future to start a new civilization. Two sisters (who's father heads the project) go into the future and talk endlessly. One is injured in a fall and dies (?). Later some "young people" go to live in the future without the project knowing and are stranded there. 

Occasionally interesting it's undone by bad acting and characters talking and walking too much. Director Peter Fonda financed the film himself (said to be around $500,000) and with the exception of Keith Carradine in a small role all the other characters are non-professionals.

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Joe

 

 (imdb)

MIGHTY JOE YOUNG-1949-Entrepreneur Max O'Hara (Robert Armstrong) goes to Africa to get wild animals for his new night club. What he finds is Joe, a giant gorilla raised by Jill (Terry Moore). Despite the protestations of big lug cowboy Gregg Johnson (Ben Johnson), O'Hara convinces Jill to bring Joe to America to be exhibited at his club. They're a big hit until 3 drunks (Douglas Fowley & Nestor Paiva are two of them) make him mad and he escapes and destroys the club. The poor ape is sentenced to be shot. A plot is hatched to save Joe leading to a climatic scene at a burning orphanage (tinted red) where Joe saves the lives of two children. 

This is a wonderful little fantasy with meticulous and brilliant stop motion SFX by (among others) Willis O'Brien, Marcel Delgado and Ray Harryhausen. It was directed by Ernest Schoedsack from a story by Merian C. Cooper (the screenplay is by Ruth Rose who also wrote the screenplay for KING KONG which was co-directed by Cooper and Schoedsack without credit!). Many familiar character actors have brief scenes in MIGHTY JOE YOUNG: Regis Toomey, James Flavin (also in KING KONG), Iris Adrian, Bobby Barber, Joe Devlin, Richard Farnsworth (also a stuntman on the film), Dwayne Hickman, Charles Lane, Franks J. Scannell, William Schallert and more. Wrestlers Henry Kulky, Sam Menacker, The Swedish Angel, Man Mountain Dean and Primo Canera also appear,

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Terry

 

TERRY AND THE PIRATES-1940-Tough guy scientist adventurer Pat Ryan (Granville Owen aka Jeff York) and his wimpy over anxious buddy Terry Lee (William Tracy) are in Asia to deliver some important papers to Terry's dad Dr. Lee (J. Paul Jones). They find that Dr. Lee has already left on an exhibition into the jungle because he didn't get their telegram. The two, along with their (fake) Asian servant Connie (Allen Jung) get a surly greeting from everyone they encounter (including the alcoholic governor). The town is run by the malevolent Master Fang (Dick Curtis) who intercepted Ryan's telegram and sends a lackey with a gorilla Baboo to get the papers. Fang is also after the treasure from The Temple of Mara, overseen by it's queen The Dragon Lady (Shelia Darcy). Rich white guy Allen Drake (Forrest Taylor) and his daughter Normandie (Joyce Bryant) help Pat and Terry mount the search party despite threats from Fang who sends his white gang disguised as natives to break up Pop Lee's party. On the first night of Pat and Terry's exploring, his group with Connie and huge local magician Big Stoop (Victor DeCamp) are attacked by the fake natives and left to burn to death in a tent. 

Of course since this is a 15 part serial produced by Columbia Pictures every episode has a (mostly) cheat cliffhanger ending that the heroes escape from at the last minute in the following episode. It's based on a comic strip created Milton Caniff (who hated the serial) in 1934. Caniff also created "Steve Canyon".  

Director James Horne had directed KOLLEGE with Buster Keaton in the silent days and later several Laurel & Hardy movies as well as a few other serials but died suddenly in 1942. 12 years later “Terry” portrayer Tracy would have a co-starring role in a “Terry And The Pirates” TV series.

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Can't Keep A Good Astro-Zombie Down

 

ASTRO-ZOMBIES M3:CLONED-2010-They're back! First an Astro-Zombie kills a cat food eating old woman. Then a guy gives a talk about a book he wrote (there's only one person in the audience) claiming he has reptilian blood in him. He's visited by two strange men. Then in Area 51 an army general (co-writer/director Ted V. Mikels) orders the reopening of the "Astro Men” project. He wants to clone thousands of them to use as "expendable soldiers". His drunken twin brother (also Mikels) says he's discovered a way to control them. Meanwhile some Men In Black working for the government wander around. A dumb workaholic scientist thinks she's able to control the Astros. Tura Santan's image from the original film appears as a hologram and John Carradine's phony head also makes an appearance. A senator calls Serena (Francine York), leader of "The Doll Squad" to help. One girl is held captive in a cave while her busty companions fight the zombies with blow darts that can blow them up. I guess the intentionally comical ending was the only way to go. It kind of sets up a part 4 (which Mikels, who passed away on 2016 at the age of 87, made 2 years later). Most of this is undermined by long stretches of talk by bad actors. The best parts are when the astro-zombies attack.

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36 Years Later...

 

MARK OF THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES-2004-Reptillian like aliens come to Earth and release astro-zombies on the unsuspecting populace. In the opening bloody attack they use machetes to kill. Reporter Cindy Natale (Brink Stevens) investigates a second attack. She interviews some people running from the slaughter (they are very funny). After the president (Gene Paul Jones) has a meeting with his staff in a little conference room (the oval office was unavailable…??), Cindy meets her FBI boyfriend Jeff (Sean Morelli) and we meet mad scientist Dr. Mikacevich (director Ted V. Mikels himself) who has preserved the head of Dr. DeMarco (John Carradine's character in the first movie) and talks to it. It also talks. He wants the secret of the astro-zombies. He's barely introduced when Malvira, the sister of Santana (also from the first movie here played by the same actress, the one and only Tura Santana) bursts in with her dimwit henchman and shoots him. Then she stomps him with her high heel. The same thing happened to Mikels' character in 10 VIOLENT WOMAN! 

The president and his staff try to formulate a plan with 3 weird looking doctors but the aliens can hear all their communications.  A woman painter (Liz Renay) who claims to have been abducted by aliens doesn't seem to have anything to do with the main story. The zombies attack periodically with machetes through heads and necks and a motorcyclist is decapitated.They also kidnap some doctors and scientists.  Meanwhile Cindy tries to sell a phony astro-zombie to some foreign powers. Eventually some good aliens arrive and destroy the bad aliens and the zombies. 

This shot on video low budget craziness is very talky in spots but the bloody attacks by the astros is pretty funny! There's a lot of talk, bad acting and bad SFX leading up the the promise of a part 3. This is director/writer Mikels' first sequel (yes, he made 2 more!) to his notorious ASTRO ZOMBIES released in 1968! It features some gory deaths but when the zombies aren't around it drags.

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