BLOOD SLAVES OF THE VAMPIRE WOLF-1996-People always say, “This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen” but usually they just say that because at the time they really hated the movie. But when I say this is the worst movie I’ve ever seen I really mean “THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN!!!”!!!
Of course I gravitate toward bad movies and I don’t use that phrase lightly! I’ve seen a lot of shit! THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS, CREEPING TERROR, DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT, this makes classics out of all of them. It’s kind of in the mold of BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL (at least production wise) only ten times worse!
It’s not even a movie really. It’s more like a home video. A very badly made home video! To top it all off it’s dedicated to “the memory of Ed Wood” who must be rolling over in his grave considering he never made anything this horrible…
SLAVES is filmed entirely on video using one camera with some out of place close-ups edited in. The production was so bad the camera and editing machine didn’t even have a flying eraser head so the cutting is a disaster. The characters just stand around talking mostly and nothing really happens even when people are being killed! Some female vampire makes a big fat guy kill some hookers. Her assistant is veteran bad actor Conrad Brooks who says nothing until the end when he laughs hysterically. There’s so little movement by the cast that when I fast-forwarded the DVD it still looked like they were standing still!! And for some reason Joe Estevez shows up for one quick scene to give an autograph.
SLAVES was the brainchild of actor Conrad Brooks who produced & directed this mess. He did work with Wood on several films. (In Tim Burton’s ED WOOD he’s portrayed by Brent Hinkley and has a cameo as a bartender) He’s also in the aforementioned BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS and many direct to video projects that most people never see. Unfortunately Brooks went on to direct a few more video movies.
Remember! I warned you!
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