Danny Glover Needs Beer Money?

AGE OF THE DRAGONS-2011-This nonsense is called a 're-imagining" of Melville's MOBY DICK. But instead of the crew searching for the great white whale they are looking for a white dragon. Over acting Danny Glover is Ahab, the whispering white dragon obsessed captain. New recruit Ishmael (Corey Sevier) learns about hunting with his pipe smoking companion Queequeg (Kepa Kruse). Rachel (Sofia Pernas) is Ahab's tough adopted daughter. For some reason Ahab kills the Starbuck character mid way through. Vinnie Jones (Juggernaut in X MEN: THE LAST STAND) is also in it. The dialogue and acting are outrageous! It almost seems like the actors are reading their lines off of cue cards! Filmed in Utah by director Ryan LIttle.

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You'll Wish The Mayans Were Right...

2012-2009-This big budgeted Hollywood science fiction disaster film fails in almost every category. It's plot is similar to several low budget cheapies that occasionally run on SYFY channel.

A writer Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) tries to help his ex-wife (Amanda Peet), his two children and her new husband (Thomas McCarthy) when global destruction of apocalyptic proportions starts destroying the Earth. Danny Glover is the stupid president of our evil government and  Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 YEARS A SLAVE) is a geologist called in to help but winds up butting heads with asshole chief of staff Oliver Platt. Thandie Newton (THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS) is the president's daughter who steals the Mona Lisa. All the major heads of various countries get together to embark on space arks. After many narrow escapes,  Jackson and company hook up with a Russian billionaire who has a huge plane ("It's Russian") that can take them to China where according to a map provided by conspiracy theorist/DJ Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) they can find safety.

Scenes show the destruction of Hawaii, the Effiel Tower, the Washington monument and Christ of The Andes which figures since director Roland Emmerich known for such swollen budget catastrophes like THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW and the US version of GODZILLA also made this. The movie he made before 2012 also had a year as its title (10,000 BC). The SFX run from very good to very poor (especially considering the budget).

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Did You See Saw?

SAW-2004-Two seemingly innocent guys are trapped in a secluded room, each of them chained to a pipe. They are given saws to cut away their legs if they want quick freedom otherwise the one guy, a doctor (Cary Elwes) must kill the other (Leigh Wannell from THE MATRIX RELOADED; also the screenwriter) or else his wife and child will die. It’s all a plot by some idiotic serial killer called “The Jigsaw Killer”. Flashbacks featuring Danny Glover and Kim Leung (later in LOST) show some of his past exploits. Also with Dina Meyer, Shawnee Smith and Michael Emerson (also later in LOST). This stupid talky trash was a big box office hit that spawned (at least at the time of this writing) 5 sequels!

Director James Wan also made a movie I liked better, DEAD SILENCE.

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