7 For One

 

RAGE WAR-(aka THE DUNGEON-MASTER)-1984-In this low budget anthology from Empire Pictures, a running guy Paul (Jeffery Byron) is obsessed with his talking computer Cal. His fiance Gwen (Leslie Wing) doesn't like it. After a weird dream, Paul is transported to some kind of cave where Gwen is chained to a rock with fire all around. A strange wizard/sorcerer Mestema (Richard Moll) likes Paul's "magic" (his computer is on his watch) and says he will make a worthy opponent. 

Later Paul and Gwen find a cave full of frozen people from the past including Einstein and Bloody Mary. They are attacked by Jack the Ripper, a mummy, a wolf man & some other creatures but an ice crystal destroys the bad guys. After Gwen disappears Paul meets the troll Ratspit (John Carl Buechler) then some cartoon dragons fight. When Mestema plays some of his music Paul counters with his own (the movie's theme). Paul is then transported to a heavy metal concert where a comical Ozzy clone sings. Gwen is a victim of their S & M show but Cal destroys them.

 In another land some dwarfs steal his computer watch. Then a giant stone statue comes to life and shoots a laser from its head. Paul destroys it and winds up in an alley with a dead woman, victim of a serial killer. Gwen is his next victim and Paul has to save her. Two dumb cops arrest him but he escapes. They elude the killer and are then menaced by a flaming devil head. Next in another cave a monster throws exploding rocks at Paul. Before it dies it turns into an angel like woman. In a graveyard of airplanes the pair are threatened by some hooded soldiers and a little guy who talks like Cousin Itt. At the end Paul and Mestema fight it out and somehow Paul wins. They are freed. 

Like most Empire junk it's imaginative but makes no sense, the acting (especially by Byron as Paul) is bad, the sfx so so and the script is dumb. It's in seven parts with each directed by a different person (including Buechler, David Allen, Charles Band, Peter Manoogian, Ted Nicolaou).

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Not A Disney Film!

 

 

 

IT'S A SMALL WORLD-1950-Harry (Paul Dale) is a little person (called the now politically incorrect “midget” in this) who doesn't have a very nice childhood. His father (Will Geer) likes him but takes him out of school and keeps him out of sight in their house. His selfish sister (Shirley Mills, the star of CHILD BRIDE) wants him sent away. He does leave home to join a circus but the owner (Thomas Henry) is a jerk and Harry runs away from him. In the city he meets Sam (Todd Karns; George Bailey's brother in IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE)), a shoeshine guy who gives Harry a job. Everything is ok until he meets a floozy named Buttons (Lorraine Miller) who gets a black eye from her boyfriend Charlie (Steve Brodie). She seems to like Harry and they hang out but she two times him and lies to him and gets him involved with the giant sized Rose (Nina Koshetz)) who turns him into a pickpocket.

 

Unfortunately Harry gets sweet on Buttons but she only has eyes for Charlie and laughs at him. When he wants to quit fatso Rose threatens him. He turns them all in and (reluctantly) joins the Cole Brothers circus winter headquarters in Florida where he meets the cheery Dolly (Ann Sholter in her only film role), a woman his size who he sings a song to! They get married and live happily ever after....

Henry Corden has an un-credited role as a truck driver. By my count Thomas Henry was in 10 features in 1950.

While not a great movie IT'S A SMALL WORLD was an unusual feature for the time. It tries hard to show Harry's plight in a sympathetic way but sometimes seems a little too obvious. Lead actor Paul Dale was one of the Lollipop Guild in THE WIZARD OF OZ and at the time of this writing he was still alive (another member of the Guild Jerry Maren is also alive). He's good in the role and does a fairly amazing job of playing his Harry character from child to adult despite being 23 at the time!

William Castle (who appears as a cop) directed it but without the flair he'd use in his later “gimmick horror films” (The first of them MACABRE would come 8 year later).

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Weird Tragedy

ELECTRA MY LOVE-(1974)-This is a very unusual adaptation of the Greek tragedy ELECTRA and ORESTES, made in Hungary. 

It uses long uninterrupted camera shots and weird symbolic scenes (including dwarfs with cymbals and much nudity) that look like Alejandro Jodorowsky could have influenced them! (He made THE HOLY MOUNTAIN in ’73) Occasionally a modern day folksinger shows up and sings! It also features anachronistic props like a helicopter and guns! Did Alex Cox see this movie??

Very slow and arty but occasionally fascinating..

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you"....Oscar Wilde

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