RIP Killer

1926-2008

Going Going Gone..

MONSTER A GO-GO-1965-Herschel Gordon Lewis needed a second feature to go with his latest production. (I think it was MOONSHINE MOUNTAIN) He bought an unfinished movie (“Terror At Halfday”) from the soon to be infamous Bill Rebane and added a narrator and some scenes with a seven foot tall guy named Henry Hite (in very lumpy facial make-up) and tries to tell the mysterious story of what happened to the astronaut of a space capsule that crash landed while returning from space.

It’s right up there with THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS, THE CREEPING TERROR and others of that ilk.

The plot (?) makes no sense and most of it is just the characters talking, explaining or arguing. None of them ever interact with the monster and the storyline just inexplicably changes to suit the footage. The sound is bad and the night scenes are really dark! To justify the title one scene features some teens dancing at a club.

The not too bad rock music is by The Other The. MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 once used this on an episode where many people first saw it.

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Woo Baby It's A Wild World!

THE WILD WORLD OF BAT-WOMAN-1966-Poor Jerry Warren! What was he thinking when he decided to become a director?

After spending most of the ‘50’s “Americanizing” Mexican and Japanese horror films, Warren (who had occasionally made his own messes like THE INCREDIBLE PETRIFIED WORLD) thought the time was right for a parody of the Super-Hero genre (The Bat-Man TV show was very popular at the time).

Katherine Victor (from several other Warren productions including TEENAGE ZOMBIES) plays the lead role, a masked crime fighter with a large bat adhered to her chest. She commands a bevy of Go-Go dancing cuties that go into action when her arch-nemesis Rat Fink steals some kind of atomic hearing aid. Washed up actor Steve Brody (later in Warren’s last film FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND) is the head of security at the company that made the stolen device. A nutty professor (who looks a lot like the Dr. Forrester character from MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 2000; they used it in an episode too) keeps talking about the monsters he created that live in a cave. When they finally show them it's scenes of the creatures from 1956 ‘s THE MOLE MEN (an American movie directed by Virgil Vogel; I guess no Mexican movie was available!). Bruno Ve Sota shows up in a wacky scene involving a séance in Chinese! Everything in this movie is very dumb and pretty boring but the bad actors seem to be having a good time!



The strangest part however is the fact that DC Comics actually sued Warren to keep BAT-WOMAN from being released!!

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No Blood No Wolf No Movie!

BLOOD SLAVES OF THE VAMPIRE WOLF-1996-People always say, “This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen” but usually they just say that because at the time they really hated the movie. But when I say this is the worst movie I’ve ever seen I really mean “THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN!!!”!!!

Of course I gravitate toward bad movies and I don’t use that phrase lightly! I’ve seen a lot of shit! THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS, CREEPING TERROR, DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT, this makes classics out of all of them. It’s kind of in the mold of BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL (at least production wise) only ten times worse!

It’s not even a movie really. It’s more like a home video. A very badly made home video! To top it all off it’s dedicated to “the memory of Ed Wood” who must be rolling over in his grave considering he never made anything this horrible…

SLAVES is filmed entirely on video using one camera with some out of place close-ups edited in. The production was so bad the camera and editing machine didn’t even have a flying eraser head so the cutting is a disaster. The characters just stand around talking mostly and nothing really happens even when people are being killed! Some female vampire makes a big fat guy kill some hookers. Her assistant is veteran bad actor Conrad Brooks who says nothing until the end when he laughs hysterically. There’s so little movement by the cast that when I fast-forwarded the DVD it still looked like they were standing still!! And for some reason Joe Estevez shows up for one quick scene to give an autograph.

SLAVES was the brainchild of actor Conrad Brooks who produced & directed this mess. He did work with Wood on several films. (In Tim Burton’s ED WOOD he’s portrayed by Brent Hinkley and has a cameo as a bartender) He’s also in the aforementioned BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS and many direct to video projects that most people never see. Unfortunately Brooks went on to direct a few more video movies.

Remember! I warned you!

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RIP

August 21, 2008 - Actor Fred Crane has died of complications, after successful surgery to repair a vein in his leg. Fred was born March 22, 1918, and after playing college football and performing in several stage productions in his home town of New Orleans, Louisiana, he came out to Hollywood at the age of 20 and was cast alongside Vivien Leigh and George Reeves as Brent Tarleton, in the classic movie Gone With The Wind. Fred became good friends with George, who was also best man at his wedding. World War II interrupted Fred's career for a few years, after which he worked in television and radio, notably on the Jack Benny Radio Program and then for 41 years at Los Angeles classical radio station KFAC, where he also served with Carl Princi as Program Director and host of the morning show. He is survived by his wife Terry and other family members. Fred was 90 years old.

The Gila Monster Strikes!

THE GIANT GILA MONSTER-1959-Whoa! They don’t make ‘em like this anymore! Suped up hot rods, rock and roll and a real lizard traipsing through matchbox cars and train sets all figure in this unintentionally funny 50’s teen horror flick!

Don Sullivan (from MONSTER OF PIEDRAS BLANCAS and TEENAGE ZOMBIES) stars as Chase Winstead, a singing-hot rodding-mechanic/tow truck driver. He also manages to take a college correspondence course while supporting his mom and semi-crippled little sister. He has a French girlfriend (Lisa Simone, also in MISSILE TO THE MOON) whose accent makes most of her dialogue incomprehensible (yeah, like her dialogue really matters!). He’s buddy-buddy with the local sheriff (character actor and stuntman Fred Graham who had many un-credited film roles) and it’s a good thing! If it weren’t for Chase and his jive talking gang the scaly star of this epic would still be stalking the woods! A grumpy old mine owner (who looks like a tall skinny Lionel Barrymore) thinks Chase is responsible for the disappear-ance of his son but of course the title reptile is really munching locals.



Don sings a couple of songs including the very bad “Laugh Children Laugh”. It’s so bad he sings it twice! A local DJ named Steamroller (real Texas DJ Ken Knox) records him and plays the track at a town sock hop just before old Gila Gills busts in. A hot rod filled with Nitro spells the end for our hero, I mean the monster after it destroys a train and parts of a toy town. There’s also a comic relief town drunk (Shug Fisher) that you should keep an eye on. In a scene of him driving his pick up truck you can glimpse the hand of the director or some other hapless crewmember in the reflection of the windshield!

GGM is no classic even in a bad movie sense but it’s still fun. It was produced in Texas by Western actor (and future TV GUNSMOKE co-star) Ken Curtis who in the same year would also serve in the same capacity on THE KILLER SHREWS which GILA’s director Ray Kellogg would also helm. Curtis would even take a role in that one! Kellogg usually a second unit director and SFX cameraman (and sometimes actor) would later co-direct John Wayne’s reverse magna opus THE GREEN BERETS! Screenplay writer Jay Simms later wrote PANIC IN THE YEAR ZERO and CREATION OF THE HUMANOIDS and many TV shows (including THRILLER and THE MAN FROM UNCLE).



I wonder what happened to Sullivan? His last film credit was in 1962 ‘s PARADISE ALLEY. Did he ever make records? The guy was in a Jerry Warren movie; he must have a nice story to tell. Don if you’re out there the public wants your story. Hey! Even Arch Hall Jr. has re-surfaced!

Anyway, like The Giant Gila Monster, I’m gone daddio!

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RIP Bela

Lugosi's last scene. He died Aug. 15th 1956.