Shatner & Spiders

 

KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS-1977-Rancher Colby (Woody Strode) has sick cattle. His prize calf dies. Dr. Rack Hansen (William Shatner) takes some blood samples. Entomologist Diane Ashley (Tiffany Bolling) says the calf died of a spider bite. After Colby’s dog is found dead, he and his wife (Altovise Davis) show Rack & Diane a huge mound made by the spiders. They burn the mound but that doesn't seem to make the ants go away. While Rack & Diane are out horseback riding with his niece, Linda (Natasha Ryan), Colby is killed by the spiders. The mayor (Roy Engel) decides to crop dust the area with a deadly poison but the spiders make the plane crash. Linda's mom is also done in by the arachnids. Soon they are all over town and mass hysteria takes over. The survivors hole up in a cabin, where the next day seemingly forgotten by the outside world, the entire valley is one giant spider web. Also with Hoke Howell. 

Former actor John “Bud” Cardos (THE DARK (1979) directed this pretty decent low budget horror movie that's fairly creepy at times (especially the final scene). For years there was talk of a sequel form various sources but nothing ever panned out.

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Norris Is So Tough, He Makes Onions Cry!

 

 (wikipedia)

INVASION USA-1985-Soviet terrorist Rostov (Richard Lynch) wants revenge on retired CIA agent Matt Hunter (Chuck Norris; also one of the screenwriters). After failing to kill him at his home in the Everglades he plots the invasion of America. Hunter agrees to go after him. There's lots of violence and killing (families, teens at party, shoot out at a crowded mall) and ridiculous car chases. The invaders disguise themselves as police and soldiers to cause unrest. A woman reporter (Melissa Prophet) who's life Hunter saves several times isn't even grateful. Billy Drago has a small role as a coke dealer who's killed. 

Director Joseph Zito directed Norris in MISSING IN ACTION the same year and also made the horror movies THE PROWLER and FRIDAY THE 13TH:THE FINAL CHAPTER.

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Happy Halloween!

 

 (amazon.com)

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE-1959-When I first saw Plan 9 in 1976 at The NYC Comic-Con I agreed it was probably one of the worst movies ever made. But if that was true why is it that after it ended I couldn't wait to see it again? (It was about four or five years later. In between I bought the "soundtrack" album which was simply the whole audio portion of the film transferred to a record. It also sported liner notes purportedly penned by Ed Wood Jr. himself shortly before his death in 1978). 

 (medium.com)

Not the worst movie ever made (Hollywood has churned out far more crap on 100 times the budget), it is one of of the best bad movies ever made that you'll enjoy watching over and over! Bela Lugosi's scenes had been filmed a few years before and sat on a shelf until Wood devised Plan 9 with the help of big Tor Johnson, a retired pro wrestler in his second of three Ed Wood outings, who spouts more dialogue in this than in all his other movie appearances combined, Vampira, a trend setting TV horror hostess, Criswell, an outrageous pseudo-psychic who among other things predicted the world would end in 1990 and a drag actor named John "Bunny" Breckenridge who makes no bones that he's reading his lines from papers on his desk! There are some "legit" actors in it too. Lyle Talbott, Tom Keene, Gregory Walcott and Joanna Lee (who later became a successful TV writer and producer). Not to forget Dudley Manlove who played Eros the alien, a guy who was mostly an announcer but also appeared in another low budget wonder "The Creation of The Humanoids"! I've also seen him on two episodes of "Alfred Hitchcock Presents". Rounding out the cast are Duke Moore (who's entire film credits are roles in Ed Wood's movies), Conrad Brooks (who appeared in other low budget productions and many years later made his own "movies"), Paul Marco (who played the dumb cop named Kelton in three Wood movies) and rotund Ben Frommer, who became a TV character actor. 

 (wikipedia)

And of course, chiropractor Dr. Tom Mason the "fake Shemp" who stood in for the late Lugosi but looked nothing like him! Much of what's said about the goofs in certain scenes is exaggerated and the scene of Tor rising from the grave is well done. Ok so the tombstone falling over is pretty cheesy....

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Santo Against Mars

 

(IMDB)

SANTO VS. THE MARTIAN INVASION-1966-Martians hi-jack TV broadcasts in Mexico and their leader Argos (Wolf Ruvinskis) issues a warning that if Earth doesn't stop making nuclear power and can't live peacefully with one another they will be destroyed! Everyone thinks it's a joke. The Martians are dressed funny with big helmets on their heads. At a large outdoor sports arena where our hero El Santo (himself) is teaching some boys wrestling moves the aliens land a spaceship. A hench-Martian kills a bunch of spectators (including children) and he has a fight with Santo until he disappears and returns to the ship. Argos goes on TV again to announce that the reason they chose Mexico to land is that country doesn't have nuclear weapons. Yet Mexico has to suffer pointless deaths because they are already in compliance with the aliens demands? These Martians are loonies! 

Argos shows up at a professor's lab where Santo happens to be. Argos fails to convince them that his goals have merit. He and Santo have a brief fight but Argos weakens and disappears. He drops a pill he tried to shallow and later the Prof. discovers it allows the invaders to breath our air. The Martians kidnap some scientists but also random people (including kids). Some Mars maidens mesmerize some men and make two luchadors attack Santo. 

Mostly it's the Martians abducting people and the saint of lucha libre having various fights. A little too long for me. Wolf Ruvinskis came from Latvia to be a pro wrestler in Mexico and stayed on after his career ended. He created a wrestling super guy of his own, Neutron who appeared in a series of films. Veteran director Alfredo B. Crevana later made more El Santo adventures and other S.F. and horror films.

 (IMDB)

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Corman, Cabot, Devon and Miller

WAR OF THE SATELLITES-1958- After 10 failed manned missions to the Sigma Barrier, Dr. Pol Van Ponder (Richard Devon) decides to take number 11 up himself. His assistants Dave Boyer (Dick Miller) and Sybil Carrington (Susan Cabot) plan to go with him. His scientist friend Hotch (Robert Shayne) supports him but Jason ibn Akad (Michael Fox), LeMoine (Bruno VeSota) and others don't. Just when it looks like the project will be shut down, it's announced Van Ponder is killed in a car accident. No sooner is this declared and the doctor shows up! However it's no miracle. He’s been taken over by an alien being (who caused the crash). Now he can split into two people and  repair his hand after it’s charred by a blow torch. He also can’t deter the efforts to send more rockets into space so the aliens make their presence known and create natural disasters around the world (stock footage). The alien as doctor declares an end to the project but when he sends Boyer to deliver the news, Boyer instead convinces the UN reps that Earth should fight the aliens. This makes the possessed doctor not happy. Boyer becomes suspicious when he notices some bruises on Devon arms. They all go into space and Boyer tries to convince the crew of the truth while Van Ponder acts weird and kills. It's said this sci-fi space film (perhaps director Roger Corman’s weakest '50's effort) was rushed into production after the 1957 Sputnik launch. There's not much action but it's nice to see usual supporting actors Miller & Devon in the lead roles. And I love those reclining space.chairs! 

With the death of Miller in late 2018 I believe the last living cast member of WOTS is Corman who has a small role as a rocket operator. Strangely this was the only movie Miller made in 1958! He starred in A BUCKET OF BLOOD the next year. Cabot starred in THE WASP WOMAN the next year. They had both been in CARNIVAL ROCK for Corman in 1957. She and Richard Devon were in Corman's MACHINE GUN KELLY the same year as WOTS.

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'50's Corman

IT CONQUERED THE WORLD-1956-AIP low budget S.F. classic from Roger Corman! When a government satellite disappears and then crash lands in the town of Beachwood California, a disgraced scientist Tom Anderson (Lee Van Cleef) claims that a visitor from Venus has landed and is preparing to take over the world. He tries to convince his friend Dr. Paul Nelson (Peter Graves) that this is a good thing ("That superior intelligence happens to be a personal friend of mine"). One way it hopes to accomplish a takeover is by sending out weird pulsating flying creatures that turn humans into emotionless zombies who herd the local populace into the desert for "protective custody" (we never see this however). Beverley Garland plays Claire, Anderson's hard nose wife who tries desperately to convince him of his folly despite being in love with him. Sally Fraser is Paul's cheery wife Joan who Paul is forced to shoot after she's taken over.

The script by AIP vet Lou Rusoff (DAY THE WORLD ENDED) provides a lot of great dialogue (Graves' speech at the climax is particularly memorable). The rubbery "inverted ice cream cone" monster/invader (created and operated by Paul Blaisdell) is usually a target of much ridicule and his demise (involving a blowtorch) is wacky but it hardly takes away from the enjoyment of the story which is really put over by the acting ans script. Also added is a small army patrol led by Dick Miller and his comical phony Hispanic sidekick (Jonathan Haze), Russ Bender as a general and usual screenwriter Charles B. Griffith as a scientist.

This is the only sci-fi/horror film Roger Corman made in 1956 but the next year he made the ultra cool NOT OF THIS EARTH! (which also features Garland)

One last note: Frank Zappa talks about IT CONQUERED THE WORLD at the beginning of the song "Cheepnis" on the album/CD "Roxy and Elsewhere".

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The Terrornauts

THE TERRORNAUTS-1967-For several years a trio of scientists have been working on a government funded project to communicate with life in outer space. Their project director Dr. Shore (Max Adrian) wants to shut them down. They finally hear an unusual transmission but the group head Dr. Burke (Simon Oates) heard them before when he was a child and believes them to be an SOS. They try to make contact with the aliens and their whole building is whisked away with Burke, his two assistants Sandy (Zena Marshall) and Ben (Stanley Meadows) and comical characters Mrs. Jones (Patricia Hayes), a coffee vendor and Mr. Yellowtees, an accountant (Charles Hawtrey from CARRY ON movies) in tow. They wind up on a spaceship which is actually a space fortress build by long dead aliens to protect Earth from enemies to are heading to Earth. A robot meets them and they figure out through strange cubes and a headset that looks like a bathing cap with wires on it how to stop the invaders. At one point Burke and Sandy are transported to a planet of green people where Sandy is almost made into a sacrifice! The beginning is pretty talky but once the story gets on the spaceship it gets funnier. There's lots of cheap effects including "PLAN 9" like UFOs  but that makes it all the more enjoyable. 

This Amicus production is based on an novel by American Sci-Fi writer Murray Leinster and the screenplay is by English S.F. writer John Brunner.  Irish born director Montgomery Tully later made BATTLE BENEATH THE EARTH.



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It's A Battle To Stay Interested!

BATTLE LOS ANGELES-2011-Moronic STARSHIP TROOPERS/WAR OF THE WORLDS knockoff from Jonathan Liebesman, director of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING and WRATH OF THE TITANS.

In the violent, predicable story, aliens invade Los Angeles and The Marines are called in to evacuate the place.  Aaron Eckhardt (he was in OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN soon after this) is a Staff Sgt. who's resignation is postponed because  he's needed to fight the invaders. This causes much friction and "butting of heads". So of course there's a lot of talking, yelling and arguing and it seems to go on forever. Characters say: "God dammit" a lot. It's a little different to see Marines defending the Earth rather than some galactic space patrol but it seems most of them are assholes deliberately sent to their doom.The aliens are big "transformer" like machines. Much of the story is told by (very well done) CNN newscasts. Michelle Rodriguez and singer Ne-Yo are also in it.

There are rumors circulating of a sequel. Liebesman was working on the next "Mutant Teenage Ninja Turtles" movie at the time of this writing.

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