Chi

 

 (wikipedia)

SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE 10 RINGS-2021-Watch this unintentionally funny talk fest at your risk. Shang-Chi (Simu Liu, a Canadian actor born in China) is reunited with his estranged father Wenwu (Tony Leung) and his bug up her ass sister Xialing (Menger Zhang). Dad wants to find the land of Ta Lo where his wife is. Ben Kingsley as Trevor Slattery (The Mandarin in IRON MAN 3) acts like he just stepped out of a Monty Python skit. Shang has an annoying female friend Katy (Awkwafina) who provides gravel voiced bon mots (not). The actress who used to look like Michelle Yeoh is his aunt, the guardian of Ta Lo. 

Much of it seems to be an apology for having Asian stereotypes in other films. The director Destin Daniel Cretton (from Hawaii) must have known what he was doing as this was a colossal hit. He's said to be filming a new Spider-Man movie at the time of this writing.

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Last of The Astro-Zombies

 

 (abc news)

ASTRO-ZOMBIES M4-INVADERS FROM CYBER SPACE-2012-Apparently there is a planet of Astro-Zombies who are very disappointed they haven't destroyed Earth in their previous attempts. They decide to try again and start by causing death and destruction in Berlin. Then the Sydney Opera House is demolished. In Washington DC, a virus is released that allows the Astros to come through computers and fry people with their laser eyes. A woman in a gym is terrorized but escapes thanks to her boyfriend. Then a shrine in Osaka is burned up. In NYC a young girl is killed and weird newscasters warn of an alien invasion.

 At the Astro-Zombies meeting hall, the Astro leader talks about his plan to annihilate humans and replace them with Astro-Zombies. Then the Golden Gate Bridge and Big Ben in London are destroyed. Characters like a psychic and some pothead musicians are introduced and killed. The finale is pretty funny when it's found out using a mirror to deflect the laser beams back at the Astros is the only way to defeat them. 

Much more entertaining than the previous two and Ted V. Mikels best one in years. Beverly Washburn (SPIDER BABY) has a small role.

 (imdb)

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Go Back

 

 (imdb)

BACK FROM HELL-1993-Father Aaron Pike visits his old friend Jack to hear his confession. Jack is hold up in some attic. Two detectives who followed Pike enter the building one by one and are killed by Jack. Then Jack says they are going to talk to the devil. He says some pray and one of the dead detectives comes back to life and starts ranting in a weird voice. A hand comes out of a Bible and tries to kill the priest. Later the duo fights some hooded characters. It seems Jack sold his soul to the devil. 

While not unentertaining, BFH is very incompetent with terrible acting, bad lighting, direction and gratuitous scenes of gore and blood spurting. It's unintentionally funny most of the time but its real drawback is some of the scenes go on too long. This was the first movie for director Matt Jaissle (he's made a few more since) who also plays “maniac with an ax”.

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Abar!

 

ABAR-1977-After Dr. Ken Kincade (J. Walter Smith), an African American scientist, and his family move to a white LA suburb, the whole bigoted neighborhood protests and dumps garbage on his lawn. They even kill his dog! The bigots are chased away by Abar (Tobar Mayo) and his motorcycle buddies of the BFU (Black Front of Unity). He introduces himself as “John Abar: Crusader”. They want Kincade to move back to “the black community” but he refuses. In his lab (there's a skull in the refrigerator) the doctor experiments on rabbits. After Abar insults the doctor, he lectures on ghettos and race. The Kincade's young son has a dream that Abar is black cowboy “Deadwood Dick” who kills a bunch of white racist cowboys. When the son is killed by a hit and run driver, the whites just stare and walk away. While Kincade works feverishly on his research, his wife leaves him and he collapses. After Abar watches a movie about Martin Luther King, Kincade (who sometimes sounds like he's imitating William Marshall) wants to inject Abar with a formula that could make him indestructible. Abar resists but eventually takes the formula. 

The doc regrets his decision almost immediately (Abar is nuts). Cops shoot an unarmed black man (that would never happen in real life....). Abar uses his newfound power to make the racist cops fight each other. Then he walks around the ghetto in a suit and makes winos drunk milk and a purse snatcher give back a purse. He also gives a woman the power to beat up a fat guy who slapped her and makes graffiti vandals clean up their mess. He turns a pastor's Cadillac into a horse and buggy and turns weed toking hookers and gambling pimps into college grads. When a black land developer says, “to hell with the blacks in the ghetto”, Abar turns his bowl of spaghetti into worms. To top it all off later the white woman who was the most hateful bigot admits she's actually black. Abar keeps walking.... 

This disaster of a movie has bad acting and direction, but some parts are funny. Star Mayo later had small roles in ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK and SCHIZOID. It's the only movie directed by Frank Packard, a white actor, who devised the plot with co-star J. Walter Smith (some say he was a pimp in real life). Also known as IN YOUR FACE and ABAR: THE FIRST BLACK SUPERMAN.

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Quadead

 

TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE-1987-An African American woman (Shirley Jones from the same director's BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL) reads stories from the title book to her dead invisible ghost (?) son. In the first tale, “Food For ?”, a white hillbilly family has only enough food for four people and there are 8 of them. It's an "every man for himself" dive for food. Eventually a guy in overalls kills 3 of them. Later there's not enough food for 5 of them. 

In the second, “The Brothers”, 2 guys steal a corpse from funeral home for the dead guy's brother. He planned on killing his now dead bro because he stole the guy's wife and she killed herself after bro spend all their inheritance. He rants "What a terrible childhood I had". Since he couldn't enact the murder he dresses bro up in a clown costume and laughs a lot. Dead bro's spirit (?) enters the clowny body and kills living bro with a pitchfork. Just when mom is going to read another story dad Daryl comes by and beats her with the book. They have a kind of violent fight until she stabs him (this scene goes on for a while). 

TALES of course was the brainchild of producer/director/writer Chester N. Turner, once more working his camcorder magic, in this follow up to his previous insanity, the aforementioned BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL. 

TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE IS cheap and shoddy beyond belief but it's so crazy, it really has to be seen to be believed. For years it was believed do it all Turner was killed in a car accident but that was untrue. He is among the living and has threatened to make sequels to both his movies. This has not happened at the time of this writing as far as I know.

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SinBaaad...

SINBAD OF THE SEVEN SEAS-1989-Terrible “Hercules” like tale which according to the credits is based on a story by Edgar Allan Poe! 

Sinbad (Lou Ferrigino) has a mixed crew (a Chinese warrior, a viking, a dwarf, etc.) who argue with each other and occasionally fight but mostly the story is held together by a narrator, a mother (Daria Nicolodi) telling her kid a bedtime story. Maybe they lost the soundtrack or were too lazy to dub everything. An evil sorcerer (John Steiner; hamming it up more than usual) and a sorceress (Teagan) are the main villains and there's some unintentional comedy. 

Director Enzo G. Castellari made this Italian production after several movies with the words “The Bronx” in their titles.

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I Don't Need Your Rules or Your Uniform,Man!

HELL'S ANGELS ON WHEELS-1967-A recently fired gas station attendant named Poet (Jack Nicolson) gets in with the LA branch of The Hell's Angels when his motorcycle's headlight is busted by one of the bikers. In a bar he helps them beat up another gang. He hangs out with them and takes a shine to Shill the "old lady" (Sabrina Scharf; later in EASY RIDER) of their leader Buddy (Adam Rourke). Some sailors beat him up at a carnival. After the Angels get revenge on the sailors the whole gang has a drug and sex party. When the cops come the spray the room to eliminate the grass aroma and cry harassment. Later they have a weird wedding ceremony at a church where Bruno VeSoto is the pastor. They also tangle with some frat boys (led by future director John "Bud" Cardos) and act mostly like drop-out hippies than an actual motorcycle gang. A falling out between Poet and the leader spells the end of Poet's membership and a firery crash caps the end of the movie. Real life Angels (including leader Sonny Barger) play themselves.

WHEELS is a dated but amusing biker film with lots of guys saying "man". Not much really happens but it should make you laugh!

In addition to Bud Cardos (and Nicolson) WHEELS features three other future directors Jack Starrett, Gary, Bob Kelljan and (unbilled) Gary Kent, who was also did stunts. The same year Nicolson had a bit role in THE ST. VALENTINE'S MASSACRE and was on THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW twice!

In 1968 director Richard Rush made PSYCH-OUT with Nicolson but since then he's only made 6 films.

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Story of a Fake Bruce

STORY OF THE DRAGON-Bruce Lee lookalike Bob (Bruce Li) and his inept friend (Carter Wong) are fired from their restaurant jobs after a fight with 3 "foreigners". They prevent the duo from getting other jobs and get beat up again. They manage to get a job unloading ocean containers. The foreign gang is run by an Asian martial arts teacher with very dark skin and a black wig (I think he was suppose to be Japanese). The nephew of the container station owner shows up and beats up the gang. Though there's a lot of talk about foreigners I think this is suppose to take place in San Francisco which would explain all the white guys. Fake Bruce opens his own school and teaches everyone. The big boss, Mr. Grace says of Kung-Fu: "it's out of date. It's 900 years old!".  Later Lee-Clone beats up Mr. Charlie (Roy Horan) but a "boxing champion" wrecks the school. The boxer defeats Lee in a fight but he trains hard for a rematch. Everyone joins in for the unintentionally funny fights in the finale.

This may also be known as BRUCE LEE: A DRAGON STORY re-dubbed to "less resemble" the real Lee's life story. Co-directors Chi Chang and  Hua Chen were better know for cinematography and second unit work.

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8 or 10...Who's Counting?

10 VIOLENT WOMAN-1982-Ted V. Mikels, the creator of THE DOLL SQUAD and ASTRO-ZOMBIES, returns with his “woman in prison tale”. 

8 women are tired of working for a living so they rob a jewelry store of a million dollars in diamonds. They go to Las Vegas to sell the loot to Leo The Fence (director Mikels). He offers them cocaine in exchange for the diamonds but they don't accept it. One of the woman gets shot (and later dies) and another stomps Leo to death with her high heel. 

After running around in the dark and stealing a guy's clothes they go to a club to sell the coke. The heel stomping woman deals to two narcs and is shot dead. The others are arrested and sent to prison where their section is run by Miss Terry, sadistic lesbian and her hench-woman Madge (“a hypocritical religious old creep”) with a limp, wart and mustache. Once in a while Terry clashes with a social worker but usually abuses the inmates especially one woman (who refused her carnal come-ons) who she tortures with a riding crop and a wet towel while Madge prays loudly. Only the lone African American attendant seems to care. 

After a shower cat fight, the remaining girls escape and some of them become belly dancers for a Sheik (it was his diamonds they stole). 

This a goofy violent movie with some nudity and comedy (intentional and unintentional). The acting isn't the greatest (Mikels himself gives a good performance) but the worst part is most of the night scenes are too dark to see! 

Co-screenwriter James Gordon 

White wrote both THE INCREDIBLE TWO HEADED TRANSPLANT and THE THING WITH TWO BRAINS! It starts out with only eight women. By the time they get to jail they are only 6 but they meet 2 prisoners who help in their escape so I suppose in reality there were 10 women! Ted V. Mikels, probably the last of the old time '60's-'70's low budget filmmakers (contemporaries like Ray Dennis Steckler, Al Adamson and  Larry Buchanan are all gone) is still going strong at 84 and recently released ASTRO-ZOMBIES:M4.    

This was filmed in 1979 but only released in 1987 (I saw it in the now defunct Drake movie theater on Woodhaven Blvd in Queens, NY!)

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Out of Order Review!

Of course since this blog is messed up I have the review for the first installment of this series after two later installments!

WAR OF THE PLANETS-1966-A mysterious signal disrupts the New Year's Eve party on space station Gamma One. Commandeer Halstead (Tony Russel) sends a crew to investigate another space station where the landing party is alive but in a kind of suspended animation ("dead like lightening"...???). The landing party soon joins them. Lt. Jacowitx (Franco Nero,the same year he starred in DJANGO) and Lt. Gomez (Lisa Gastoni) help with the investigation and discover there is an invasion by aliens who are smoky green mist and take over humans. "It's a nightmare and we're all dreaming it...together". The aliens want to relocate to Earth and take over all humans. A lot of time is wasted on a ritual called "The Hosting". It's pretty boring but occasionally funny. Some fire extinguishers become deadly weapon's in the hero's hands. 

The sets and SFX in this Italian space drama look like something out of FIREBALL XL-5! Russel, Nero, Gastoni and Giustini had played the same characters in director Antonio Margheriti's THE WILD WILD PLANET the year before. Margheriti (usually credited as Anthony Dawson on US prints) had already made HORROR CASTLE (with Christopher Lee) and CASTLE OF BLOOD (with Barbara Steele) and went on to make many more. He died in 2002 at 72.

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Gamma One Returns

SNOW DEVILS-1967-Another crazy art-deco designed Italian science fiction movie directed by Antonio Margherriti (Anthony Dawson in the US prints). 

After a weather station in the Himalayas is destroyed the commander of space station Gamma One Rod Jackson (Giacomo Rossi-Stuart aka Jack Stuart in American prints) is sent to investigate. A woman lieutenant Lisa Neilson (Ombretta Colli aka Amber Collins in American prints) insists on going along because her fiance was a victim of the destruction and she believes he is still alive (“I don't know. Call it woman's intuition, ESP or whatever you want”). Wilbert Bradley is their crazy talking Sherpa guide Sharu. After their “heli-jet” and other equipment are destroyed in a freak accident,the group must go on foot which becomes a 4 person mission when the Sherpa guides (except for Sharu) run away. Seeking shelter in a cave they encounter big bluish hairy “snow devils”. 

They are actually aliens from a dying planet trying to flood Earth and then freeze it so they can live there. For some reason their skin and fur change color in a few scenes. When the group is held captive they somehow escape and drug the aliens. They kill the leader and go back home to find the Earth plagued by storms, floods and polar meltdowns so they must find the hidden alien base before all is lost! 

The buildings, ships and SFX look like Gerry Anderson's FIREBALL XL-5 and the story is similar to one used on TV'S VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA! If it seems a little episodic that's because it's all part of the Italian “Gamma One” space series which also includes the THE WAR OF THE PLANETS and THE WILD WILD PLANET. (last review)

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The Wild Wild Review

THE WILD WILD PLANET-1965-In this crazy Sci-Fi space adventure from Italy, a mad scientist (Massimo Serato) is conducting mysterious experiments using human beings while strange aliens disguised as humans kill scientists (and little kids). Most are women have beehive hairdos but one is a bald headed guy with a killer trench coat! American born Tony Russel is Commander Mike Halstead in charge of the Gamma One space station where the action takes place. Lisa Gastoni is Lt. Connie Gomez, Halstead's kind of girlfriend. Franco Nero is Jake, another Lieutenant who helps Halstead go after the mad doc (who has some weird plan to create his own race) and rescue Connie who has fallen into his clutches. It's all very funny with toy cars and rockets, people turned doll sized, female aliens beating up men and lines like “You Helium head”. 

Directed by Antonio Margheriti, it's part of the Gamma One series of space movies. Ruggero Deodato (CANNIBAL HOLOHAUST) was an assistant director.

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Fright

FRIGHT-1971-A college student named Amanda (Susan George) babysits a small child for his weirdly acting parents (Honor Blackman and George Cole). She gets spooked a few times by noises and a stranger hangs around the house but she thinks it's her stupid boyfriend (Dennis Waterman) who shows up and tries to frighten her with scary stories. Meanwhile we learn why the parents acted strangely. It turns out Mom is the process of divorcing Brian, her husband (and father of her young son) a paranoid nut who has recently escaped from his mental hospital. After she thinks her boyfriend has been bludgeoned to death, Amanda is “befriended” by “a neighbor” (Ian Bannen) who of course turns out to be Brian. Poor Amanda cracks up but soon realizes he's a psycho who imagines she's his wife, rapes her and terrorizes his child. Bannen really goes bonkers in the finale. 

It's a fairly good psychological drama but a little too long and a blockhead comic police officer character seems out of place. Director Peter Collinson (who died in 1980) had made THE ITALIAN JOB and later did remakes of TEN LITTLE INDIANS and THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE. 

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Boggy Creek

THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK-1972-This pseudo-documentary (very popular in the '70's) is about a legendary Bigfoot like monster prowling around the swamps in Arkansas. It's mostly staged scenes but the dialogue and narration are funny. 

The narrator (an adult who encountered the monster as a little boy) sets up the other “encounters” by giving background on the characters and their situations before they are terrorized. The songs “The Legend of Boggy Creek” and “Nobody Sees The Sun But Me” are occasionally heard. The narrator says things like “The creeks. He always follows the creeks” and partially blames the creature's attacks on “lonely frustration”.The barely seen hairy beast only attacks one person and mostly kills chickens, dogs and cats plus frightening humans. Since some actors (like Smokey Crabtree and his son Travis) are playing themselves so I guess there is a sort of real story to the whole thing. But it's all reenactments including the footage of the “the legend”.

TLOBC was shot and directed by Charles B. Pierce in his film debut. He went on to make other regional films including THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN, THE NORSEMEN and the semi-sequel BOGGY CREEK ll: THE LEGEND CONTINUES in 1984 which despite the title is actually the second sequel. The first sequel RETURN TO BOGGY CREEK is really a children's movie. Pierce was also a set designer for bigger budgeted films and wrote the story for the Dirty Harry installment SUDDEN DEATH in which the catch phrase “Make my day” was first used. 

Music was composed by Bolivian born Jaime Mendoza-Nava, who wrote tons of low budget soundtracks.

Excellent shot of the Bigfoot from THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK:

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