Last For 2023

 

 (imdb)

BLOOD OF THE VIRGINS-1967-In the 19th century a woman Ofelia (Susana Beltran) is getting ready for her wedding and marriage to Eduardo. She also has a lover Gustavo (Walter Kliche) who seems to have a spell over her. Ofelia confesses to Gus that she has some misgivings about the wedding but since her family wouldn't allow her to be with her lover, she goes ahead and marries Eduardo. On their wedding night, it's revealed that Gustavo is a vampire. He kills Ed and makes Ofelia a vampire so they can be together forever. In the present a bunch of hip idiots go go dance on a yacht and on the beach (a few topless) and make out just to take up time. Later Gustavo and Ofelia return but she has grown tired of her existence. This fairly drawn out nonsense from Argentina was directed by Emilio Vieyra (THE CURIOUS DR. HUMP (1969)).

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Dead Graffiti

 

 (themoviedb)

MESSIAH OF EVIL-1973-From a mental hospital, a woman Arletty (Mariana Hill; she was in THE GODFATHER PART 2 the same year) tells the story of how she went to a town called Point Doom looking for her estranged father. Stopping for gas, the attendant (Charles Dierkop) acts weird and gives her a warning. He gets very perturbed when a big albino stops for gas with two dead bodies in his pickup. The attendant is killed a little later. 

While snooping around town Arletty meets a freaky art dealer and his blind mother and talkative town drunk Charlie (Elisha Cook Jr.) who talks about the blood red moon and people bleeding. She meets dandy Thom (Michael Greer; FORTUNE AND MEN'S EYES) who seems interested in the legend of the blood moon, and his two female companions the stuck-up snob Laura (Anitra Ford) and the dumb Toni (Joy Bang). Later after a lot of talk, Laura decides to leave. She hitches a ride with the albino (Bernie Robinson) who eats a rat. She wanders around town, goes to a supermarket and sees a bunch of weird people eating raw meat. They chase her down and eat her. Meanwhile, Arletty reads from Dad's diary. Poor Toni! She goes to see a movie and is attacked and eaten by the audience. Thom wanders around town. Dad (Royal Dano) shows up to explain the story of a dark stranger who had been part of the Donner party. It's not a good reunion though. Arletty sets her dad on fire. Then she tries to kill Thom. The dark stranger comes back too…

The directing and writing credits of this low budget bizarro horror film go to the husband-and-wife duo of Williard Hyuck and Gloria Katz who the year before had written the screenplay of AMERICAN GRAFFITI (they also have cameos as zombies). It is a kind of eerie movie but some parts don't make sense. Some critics have praised it as a “neglected masterpiece”. Re-released under the title DEAD PEOPLE.

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A Movie As Old As me!

 

 (imdb)

SHADOW ON THE WINDOW-1957-3 young thugs Jess (John Drew Barrymore), Gil (Corey Allen) and the psychotic Joey (Gerald Sarracini) hold a woman (Betty Garrett) hostage after killing an old man for his money. Her young son (Jerry Mathers; he started his gig as The Beaver on TV's “Leave it To Beaver” the same year) sees the whole thing but goes into shock and can't tell the police anything. Her ex-husband Tony Atlas (Phillip Carey) is a police Sargent who leads an investigation to find his ex. 

Several character actors appear briefly including Joe Turkel,Mel Welles,Billy Nelson,Norman Leavitt,Henry Corden,George Cisar and Paul Bryar. Director William Asher, already working in TV, would go on to direct several AIP “beach” movies in the early '60's but would continue in TV including directing over 130 episodes of “Bewitched”.

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"If Ya Got Ears, Ya Gotta Listen"

 

 (youtube)

THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS CAPTAIN BEEFHEART-1997-This was a late period documentary about the great Captain Beefheart (aka Don Van Vilet) who died in December of 2010. It gives some interesting insights and info about his early career then jumps to “Trout Mask Replica” and glosses over later work. "Clear Spot" isn't even mentioned. There are some comments from Frank Zappa (obviously already sick; he died in 1993) and former Mother and perennial complainer Jimmy Carl Black (who died in 2008) chimes in as well. Matt Groehing, Ry Cooder, John French and Eric Drew Feldman offer their opinions. British DJ John Peel (who died 2004) narrates.

 It's a nice little documentary but hardly a comprehensive one. Director Elaine Shepherd later made a 30-year anniversary special on Monty Python's Flying Circus.

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Low Grade Savages

 

 (youtube)

SAVAGES FROM HELL-1968-In some small town, Marco (Diwaldo Myers) and his sister Teresa (Vi Lloyd) are migrant workers with their parents. They don't like the work so Marco gets a job as a mechanic. Teresa likes to hang around the gas station and meets High Test (William P. Kelly), the leader of a gang of bikers who she thinks is wonderful but he's just a dirty asshole in a jaguar vest. When he finds his girlfriend Lucy (Bobbie Byers) coming on to gas attendant Reuben (Cyril Poitier) a fight ensues which Marco breaks up. The next day High Test takes Teresa to the dune buggy races but she spurns his advances and Marco winds up slugging him. High Test vows revenge. Later he kidnaps Teresa and shoots Lucy. Mortally wounded, Lucy leads Marco & Reuben to the hideout where after a couple of fights, Teresa is rescued and Lucy runs High Test down before dying. Terrible acting.

Director Joseph G. Prieto made FIREBALL JUNGLE the same year. One of the screenwriters was K. Gordon Murray. Cyril Poitier was the lesser-known older brother of Sidney.

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TV Pilot From Canada

 

 (imdb)

984: PRISONER OF THE FUTURE-A group called "The Movement" (headed by an old fart Dr. Fontaine (Andrew Foot)) has taken over the US and charges a guy named Weston (Stephen Markle) with "crimes against humanity" and locks him up in a prison run by "The Warden" (Dan Francks), a bad Dr. Smith wannabe. Flashbacks tell a lot of the story but I was still confused as to exactly what this whole thing was about.

Director Tibor Takacs (before his more well-known movies) does try hard to present a Kafkaesque nightmare with a few doses of The Prisoner and Brave New World but a minuscule budget, poor script and only so-so acting undermine it. Actually, a CBC unsold TV pilot.

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Last of The Astro-Zombies

 

 (abc news)

ASTRO-ZOMBIES M4-INVADERS FROM CYBER SPACE-2012-Apparently there is a planet of Astro-Zombies who are very disappointed they haven't destroyed Earth in their previous attempts. They decide to try again and start by causing death and destruction in Berlin. Then the Sydney Opera House is demolished. In Washington DC, a virus is released that allows the Astros to come through computers and fry people with their laser eyes. A woman in a gym is terrorized but escapes thanks to her boyfriend. Then a shrine in Osaka is burned up. In NYC a young girl is killed and weird newscasters warn of an alien invasion.

 At the Astro-Zombies meeting hall, the Astro leader talks about his plan to annihilate humans and replace them with Astro-Zombies. Then the Golden Gate Bridge and Big Ben in London are destroyed. Characters like a psychic and some pothead musicians are introduced and killed. The finale is pretty funny when it's found out using a mirror to deflect the laser beams back at the Astros is the only way to defeat them. 

Much more entertaining than the previous two and Ted V. Mikels best one in years. Beverly Washburn (SPIDER BABY) has a small role.

 (imdb)

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