Out of Season

 

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SEASON OF THE WITCH-2011-During the Black Plague, two former Crusaders Bemant (Nicholas Cage) and Felson (Ron Perlman) are dispatched by a dying, scarred cardinal (Christopher Lee) to deliver a witch (really a demon) to a group of monks who can destroy her power and break the plague. Good luck, I mean to the viewer, not them. 

Despite Nicholas Cage's deadpan performance, many of the characters dialogue seems modern and out of place. The CGI sfx are pretty LORD OF THE RINGS inspired. With the line: “We're going to need more holy water”. Director Dominic Sena had made GONE IN 60 SECONDS (2000), also with Cage.

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Rage

 

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RAGE-1972-Rancher Dan Logan (George C. Scott; also the director) has a nice life until he wakes up one day after camping with his son Chris (Nicholas Beauvy; later in THE TOOLBOX MURDERS (1978)) to find his cattle dead and Chris deathly sick. An army board headed by Col. Nickerson (Kenneth Tobey) (including Robert Walden and Stephen Young) seems concerned because it was an accidental spraying of some government poison gas. Major Halliford (Martin Sheen) and public health service guy Spencer (Barnard Hughes) assure him his son will be alright. 

Not true. Chris dies and the government seems to cover it up. Family physician Dr. Cardwell (Richard Basehart) finds some discrepancies in the medical reports. Logan sees through the government lies and finds his son’s dead body. Now a dying man, Logan goes for revenge but he dies before extracting real vengeance. Dabbs Greer is a doctor and Ed Lauter is an orderly. 

Two years after this Scott would direct one more film, the notorious THE SAVAGE IS LOOSE. This disappointing box office flop was actually based on a 1968 incident that took place in Utah where thousands of sheep were killed while the US army tested a new nerve gas. The army denied responsibility and other theories were presented. However, documents released 30 years after the incident occurred seem to say the army was at fault.

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It Falls Flat

 

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THE FALLING-1986-3 American dweebs (Dennis Christopher, Martin Hewitt & Lynn Holly Johnson) touring Spain (where this was filmed) are terrorized by an alien monster created by space fungus from the 1973 Skylab crash. They spend most of the time acting stupid and helping a weird NASA scientist (famous Spanish actor Luis Prendes). A gas station attendant explodes and an “Alien” like creature attacks. They escape in the end but one of them becomes infected so they all die I guess, Not sure, but some scenes may have been intentionally funny. 

Directed and written by Deran Sarafian (TO DIE FOR (1988)). Producer Carlos Aured (who directed early Paul Naschy movies) had nothing good to say about this production. Lead actress Johnson was US figure skater who'd starred in the Disney flop WATCHER IN THE WOODS (1980) and had a supporting role in the James Bond flick FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981).

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Would You Like Another Potato?

 

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DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL-1988-Deathstalker (John Allen Nelson; in KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE the same year) is back and more annoying than ever. In this very cheap looking second sequel, Deathstalker meets princess Carissa (Carla Herd) who's looking for a lost city. She's killed but before she dies, she gives him a stone that if it's united with a second one will open up the secret city. Unfortunately, a weird bald headed bad guy (Thom Christopher; WIZ-ARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM (1985)) has the other one and rants to his companion Camisarde (Terri Treas; TV's “Alien Nation”). His clothes look like they were designed by Liberace. The dead princess also has a twin sister Elizena (same actress) who's a spoiled dummy. He also meets 2 bow & arrow using sisters who like potatoes. 

Roger Corman was the executive producer of this low grade, badly acted sword and sorcery fantasy filmed in Mexico and directed by Alfonso Corona. The screenplay is by Howard Cohen who wrote the original movie and later wrote and directed DEATHSTALKER 4 in 1991.

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Mike Hammer Time!

 

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MY GUN IS QUICK-1957-Mike Hammer (Robert Bray) meets a redhead (Jan Chaney) in a hash joint and soon after she winds up dead. Her missing ring leads him on a hunt to find her killer. The mute sweeper Jean (Terence De Marney) tries to help but he's thrown out a window. He meets Nancy (Whitney Blake), a woman who was involved in a scandal in Europe, whose butler Louis (Richard Garland) threatened Red in the hash joint. Some jewels stolen by Col. Holiday (Donald Randolph) are part of it. So is a stripper named Maria (Gina Core'). He butts heads with police Captain Chambers (Booth Colman) but they work together. A trio of French gangsters led by the hook handed LeRouch (Peter Mamakos) are also after the cache and beat up Mike. Pamela Duncan is Hammer's intrepid secretary, Velda. 

This is a pretty good, neglected version with the usual Hammer twist ending. Garland and Duncan both starred in Corman's ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS the same year. Two directors are credited, Victor Saville and George White.

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Killer Dragon?

 

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THE DRAGON MURDER CASE-1934-When a soon to be married man (George Meeker) goes swimming and disappears, Philo Vance (Warren William) is called in to help DA Markam (Robert McWade) and Sgt. Heath (Eugene Pallette) solve the case. After the body is found, it looks like the murder was committed by a dragon! 

Fun if preposterous murder mystery with the underrated William great in the lead role. This was his first of 4 four Vance crime dramas (he took the role over from William Powell). The Vance character was created by S.S. Van Dyne who wrote 12 novels featuring the detective. Also with Lyle Talbott and Margaret Lindsey. 

Director B. Bruce Humberstone later made a few Charlie Chan mysteries and PACK UP YOUR TROUBLES with Laurel & Hardy.

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Loose Lips Sink Ships

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RESISTING ENEMY INTERROGATION-1944-US Army training film instructing Prisoners Of War how not to give away vital information. The Nazi high command led by Carl Esmond (CATMAN OF PARIS (1946)) also includes Kent Smith (in CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE the same year), Peter Van Eyck, Peter Coe (in HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN the same year) and George Dolenz (Mickey's dad). They use a lot of tricks to get the captives to spill the beans. The US solders include James Seay, Don Porter, Richard Martin and Arthur Kennedy. They try to keep quiet but these Nazis are really deceitful. 

Music emphasizes every time a soldier gives away some vital info. Steven Geray is a doctor. Lloyd Nolan (who also narrates), Craig Stevens and David Wayne are non-POW pilots. The cast is all unbilled. Directed by Bernard Vorhaus (THE AMAZING MR. X (1948), SO YOUNG SO BAD (1950)). 

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