Sunday, December 9, 2012

No Gas in 2012



TOOTH AND NAIL-2007-In this sort of twist on post-apocalyptic zombie cannibal movies, it seems the world ran out of gasoline in 2012 and civilization collapsed. “The American dream became the American nightmare” says Darwin (Robert Carradine), the bearded egghead who leads a small group of survivors with names like Dakota, Ford, Torino and Yukon in a Philadelphia hospital. He seems very optimistic about “creating a new life” but the rest (except for a little girl who doesn't talk) are the usual bickering self obsessed imbeciles. When a new girl Nova (Emily Catherine Young) arrives things seem to deteriorate but she has a secret. 

Later on Michael Madsen shows up as Jackal, the leader of The Rovers, a group of cannibalistic nomads. The twist here I guess is that the flesh eaters are human not zombies. The dialogue is terrible, the action scenes too dark and some of gore effects too phony. Vinnie Jones (X MEN:LAST STAND) has a small role. Director Mark Young made THE KILLING JAR (also with Madsen) after this. I never saw so many producers on one movie! 

Thanks for reading! 

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Exorsnore




EXORCISMUS-2010-In England Emma (Sophie Vavasseur from RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE), a teenage girl acts weirdly. She cuts herself, almost drowns her little brother and levitates in front of her mom and dad. When she goes to a psychiatrist he dies of a heart attack. She seems to be possessed so they bring in their uncle, a priest (Stephen Billington; also in RESIDENT EVIL) to perform an exorcism. He's haunted by flashbacks of botched one he once did. While tied to a chair she curses a lot (“fuckin' priest”), has spasms, her eyes turn white and she tries to strangle dad (with her legs). Her pin cushioned faced boyfriend tells her she's just being manipulated but she causes a car crash that nearly kills him (she sees his face covered with cockroaches). 

Later after killing her brother and driving mom crazy, she learns that things might not be what they seem. Despite it's twists in the finale (which goes on too long) this is just another EXORCIST take-off. This English language Spanish production filmed in England was directed by Manuel Carballo and written by David Munoz (THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE). 

Thanks for reading!

Stanley Before The Bowery


DESTINATION MURDER-1950-Stanley Clements (6 years before replacing Leo Gorcey in The Bowery Boys series) is Jackie Wales, a telegram delivery boy who kills a man for club owner Mr. Armitage (Albert Dekker) who likes to talk in the third person. The dead man's daughter Laura (Joyce MacKenzie) suspects Jackie and begins dating him. Later she gets a job as a cigarette girl in the club where manager Stretch Norton (Hurd Hatfield) puts the moves on her. Armitage's mistress (Myrna Dell) gets Jackie involved in blackmail and eventually his own murder. It turns out Norton is actually the brains of the operation. 

After Jackie's killed (it's not shown; his character seems to have just been written out) it turns into a revenge love story focusing on Laura and her relationship with Norton. 

 Star Joyce MacKenzie played Jane to Lex Barker's Tarzan in TARZAN AND THE SHE DEVIL. James Flavin is a police lieutenant and John Dehner is another suspect. Future star of THE WEREWOLF Steve Ritch has a bit role. 

A great vocal band Steve Gibson's Red Caps plays in the club. You can read about them here: http://home.earthlink.net/~jaymar41/redcaps.html

There's actually a lot of strange twists in this little murder mystery directed by Edward L. Cahn a few years before he made some of the greatest low budget horror and Sci-Fi movies of all time.

Thanks for reading!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Un-Something




UNDEAD-2003-This gore horror-comedy from Australia reminded a lot of Peter Jackson's BAD TASTE (and SHAUN OF THE DEAD) with it's extreme violent SFX but I didn't care for it. 

In Queensland, a meteorite shower turns residents into human eating zombies. A woman named Rene (Felicity Mason) takes shelter in the cabin of the local weirdo (Mungo McKay) who seems to know a lot about the zombies. They are joined by a few other people (including a pregnant woman) who yell, curse, cry and act like morons.

This was made by twin brothers Michael and Peter Spierig who really think their unoriginal plot, bad acting and dumb comic situations are very clever. They do thrown in a twist ending involving some aliens but by then it's too late. The 90 mins of your life that you wasted watching this crap is gone forever! 

After this The Spierigs made DAYBREAKERS which featured vampires. 

Thanks for reading!

PS: Wkipedia list of still living silent screen stars: