Corman Giant Size Monsters

DINOCROC VS. SUPERGATOR-2010-More made for TV giant reptilian junk courtesy of Roger Corman and the SyFy channel. A genetics lab working to grow bigger food sources is used by an evil industrialist Jason Drake (David Carradine; the only reason I checked this out) to create a giant crocodile and a giant alligator. A sheriff (John Callahan), his daughter deputy (Amy Holt), a hunter (Rib Hills) and an undercover FBI agent (James Burns) try to stop the scaly pair. Somehow the gang gets the two giganto-reptiles together and they fight each other until they are blown up. The fight is nothing but a computerized update of the famous overused stock footage from One Million Years BC. 

The director Jim Wynorski (under the pseudonym Rob Robertson) has been making mostly direct to video soft core nudie movie takeoffs (THE HILLS HAVE THIGHS, THE BREASTFORD WIVES) and cheesy giant reptile craziness under many fake names for years now and also co-wrote this using the name Jay Andrews (I don't really blame him...)

Thanks for reading!

Lost But Found

PRIVATE PROPERTY-1960-Two hoodlums, Duke (Corey Allen) and Boots (Warren Oates) use intimation and switchblade to get their way. Duke also rides Boots for still being a virgin. They take a shine to a Ann Carlisle (Kate Manx, the director's wife) who they spot at a gas station and force an old guy (Jerome Cowan) to follow her to her house. Fortunately for them the house next door is unoccupied and they squat there and spy on her and her husband Roger (Robert Wark). Duke's sick plan is to seduce Ann and then turn her over to Boots but it doesn't quite work out that way when Boots winds up doing the dead man's float in the swimming​ pool and Duke is shot to death by Ann. 

Though rather mild and irritating by today's standards, PRIVATE PPROPERTY caused a lot of controversy in its initial release and was condemned by The League Of Decency. It played very few venues and disappeared. So much so that it was thought to be a "lost" film until a print was discovered and restored around 2016. 

PRIVATE PROPERTY was the first movie directed (and written) by Leslie Stevens, a busy TV screenwriter at the time. He went back to TV after the failure of this feature before returning to the big screen in 1966 with INCUBUS, the supernatural Bergmanesque parable with dialogue in Esperanto and starring William Shatner. His last work is on the series THE OUTER LIMITS. Sadly, leading lady Manx committed suicide four years after this was made. Star Corey Allen had been in REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE and other films and later became a successful TV director.

Thanks for reading!

Crime

THE LINEUP-1958-Strange little crime drama about 2 psychotic hitmen Dancer (Eli Wallach) and Julian (Robert Keith) trying to retrieve a cache of heroin from some innocent tourist with the help of their alcoholic driver (Richard Jaeckel). Meanwhile two cops (Warner Anderson and Emile Meyer) track him down. This film noir-ish crime film directed by Don Siegel and written by Stirling Stilliphant was actually based on a TV (and radio) series that ran from 1954 til 1960 and also features future Mr. Dysdale (on TV's THE BEVERLY HILLBILLES) Raymond Bailey and familiar character actor Vaughan Taylor as “The Man”. 

Thanks for reading! 

Corman Quickie

THE CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA-1961-A crooked captain Renzo Capetto (Anthony Carbone trying to imitate Bogart) and his motley crew including his girlfriend Mary-Belle (Betsy Jones-Moreland), her dumb brother Happy Jack (Robert Bean) and Pete (Beach Dickerson), guy who makes animal noises (dubbed in) help two Cuban generals illegally transport a chest of money out of the country. A bunch of locals are also aboard though one of them is actually a government agent X-15 (Edward Wain aka future writer director Robert Towne). Capetto decides to do away with The Cubans and blame it on a monster he creates. Unfortunately for everyone a real monster shows up. 

There's lots of dumb comic dialogue (by Charles Griffith), slapstick and non-action in this hastily directed effort by Roger Corman (who has a cameo) and shot in Puerto Rico back to back with THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH and BATTLE OF BLOOD ISLAND in around 5 days! One of my least favorites. It was planned to be a straight horror movie but changed by Corman at the last minute.

Thanks for reading!

Crawling

THE CRAWLING EYE-1958-In Trollenberg, American Alan Brooks (Forrest Tucker) meets The Pilgrim sisters Ann (Janet Munro) and Sara (Jennifer Jayne) when Ann seems to have some psychic connection with the nearby mountains where several villagers have disappeared (one was found decapitated). Alan visits Dr. Crevet (Warren Mitchell) experimenting with cosmic rays who tells him about a mysterious radioactive cloud. After Ann predicts the death of a climber, Alan leads a small group (including a reporter played by Lawrence Payne, later in VAMPIRE CIRCUS) up the mountains to investigate. Another climber who kills two other climbers seems to be possessed. Eventually the small village is terrorized by monsters that resemble giant brains with one eye and tentacles. An air force bomber arrives just in time to destroy the invaders.

An English production, THE CRAWLING EYE has a great script by Jimmy Sangster (who wrote HORROR OF DRACULA and THE REVENGE OF FRANKENSTEIN the same year) and good acting but director Quentin Lawrence has too much talk and not enough crawl for me. It's based on a BBC TV production and was known as THE TROLLENBERG TERROR in the UK.

Thanks for reading!

Senator Billy Jack

BILLY JACK GOES TO WASHINGTON-1977-In this whack job of a movie Billy Jack (Tom Laughlin) is given full pardon by a governor (Dick Gautier) and made a state senator after the incumbent (Kent Smith in his last role) dies. It's really just a phony ploy by a powerful industrialist (Sam Wanamaker) but of course it backfires and Senator Jack with the help of his wife (Laughlin's real life wife Delores Taylor) wants to build a children's camp on land designated for a nuclear power plant. Later Billy is framed by senator Paine (EG Marshall). He almost gives up but the words of Thomas Jefferson and a walk around DC change his mind. He creates a filibuster in Congress and almost dies. Later Paine admits he's a corrupt bastard and Jack and his unreal world live happily ever after. Since this movie is a mess the vice president of the US (Pat O'Brien) does a lot of narration. 

Director,/co-writer/co-producer/star Laughlin blamed the failure of the film on a government conspiracy. Another sequel THE RETURN OF BILLY JACK began filming in 1986 but was never finished.

Thanks for reading!

Bolt

THAT MAN BOLT-1973-A Karate expert/professional courier Jefferson Bolt (Fred Williamson) locked up in a Macao prison is hired/blackmailed by a mysterious English man named Griffiths (Byron Webster) to deliver 1 million dollars from Hong Kong. When he lands in Las Vegas some mobsters try to kill him, so after a car chase he gets help from another mobster Connie (Jack Ging). At a casino he meets singer Samantha Nightingale (Teresa Graves) and after they have sex she's killed in an attempt on Bolt's life. He hightails it to Hong Kong where things get a little confusing when an Asian assassin is hired by Javanese merchant banker Kumata (Masatoshi Nakamura) to kill Bolt. 

The acting, dialogue and fights are sub-par but it also features appearances by Karate and kickboxing champions like Mike Stone, Kenji Kazama, Emil Farkus and David Chow. 

THAT MAN BOLT has two credited directors. One Henry Levin made his directing debut in 1944 with semi-horror movie CRY OF THE WEREWOLF. In the 1970's he directed several Matt Helm movies. BOLT was one of his last features. The other was David Lowell Rich who started in TV around 1950 and continuing till the mid '60's when he made some feature films like EYE OF THE CAT and THE PLAINSMAN. He went back to TV making many TV movies and in the early '80's returned to some feature film work including THE CONCORDE-AIRPORT '69. 

Thanks for reading!

Head

HEAD-1968-Deranged out-dated psychedelic non-movie from the once popular TV pop band. Written by Jack Nicolson, who has a cameo and Bob Rafelson, who also directed, the whole thing is designed to make fun of their "pre-packaged" image. It's chaotic and off the wall (loyal fans of the show, if there were any left, might have been disappointed) but it does feature faded Hollywood star Victor Mature as the villain and appearances by Frank Zappa (pulling a donkey), Sonny Liston, Timothy Carey & Tiger Joe Marsh (not Tor Johnson). Nicolson and Rafelson's next project together would be FIVE EASY PIECES in 1970. 

Thanks for reading!

NYC Underground

NO MORE EXCUSES-1968-Lame amateurish "underground" film directed by and starring Robert Downey Sr as a Union Civil War soldier transported to NYC in the late '60's. While he wanders around Manhattan, the rest of this mess is men and women being interview about their reasons for going to "singles clubs", well known trickster Alan Abel explaining why he thinks domestic animals should wear clothes and a weird part with Don Calfa as stalker/rapist who breaks into a woman's apartment and forces himself on her. Later she seems to accept it and then frolics in bed with a chimpanzee. I've seen a lot of Downey's stuff (CHAFFED ELBOWS, GREASER'S PALACE, PUTNEY SWOPE) and this is his worst.

Thanks for reading!

Alaska

30 DAYS OF NIGHT-2007-In Barrow, Alaska the residents experience a period where there's 30 days of total night. Most leave but some stay including the sheriff (Josh Hartnett) and his estranged wife (Melissa George). Too bad for them because a bunch of ancient vampires lead by Marlow (Danny Huston) descend on the place. This senseless violent mean spirited mess is based on a comic book..oops..sorry graphic novel but it seems more influenced by 28 DAYS LATER than anything else. 

Director David Slade started off making music videos. His first film was HARD CANDY and later he made the 3^rd entry into the TWILIGHT series. After that he produced the TV shows HANNIBAL and AMERICAN GODS.

Thanks for reading!

England Makes Bad Horror Movies Too!

GHOST MACHINE-2009-More suckness from England. This time an evil spirit terrorizes some losers involved in a kind of virtual reality military training. Director Chris Hartwill worked on a couple of episodes of the TV show “Numbers” before making this. An American actor Sean Faris is the star.

Thanks for reading this short and unprofessional review about a movie I really had no use for and shouldn't have watched in the first place!

Silent House

SILENT HOUSE-2011-A father (Adam Trese) and his daughter Sarah (Elizabeth Olsen) try to restore their rundown old family house with the help of Peter (Eric Sheffer Stevens), the man's brother. After nothing much happens the girl starts to hear strange noises. And when her father goes to investigate he disappears. She starts to see visions of a little girl and is pursued by an unseen figure. Despite the real time premise and use of long unedited scenes there's not much going on in the confused plot leading up to an un-supernatural ending. 

Star Olsen was later in the 2014 remake of GODZILLA and plays The Scarlet Witch in several Marvel Comics related movies. This was made by the husband and wife team of Chris Kentis and Laura Lau who did the excellent and much better OPEN WATER and is actually a remake of LA CASA MUDA made in Uruguay in 2010.

Thanks for reading!

Back To Silents

SOULS FOR SALE-1923-"Moving picture" about a young woman Mem (Eleanor Boardman) who escapes her unhappy marriage to a murderous con-man by jumping off a train. She wanders around aimlessly but is rescued by an actor named Kolby (Frank Mayo) dressed as a sheikh when she passes out on a movie shoot. He takes a shine to her but a famous director Frank Claymore (Richard Dix) takes Mem under his wing and uses her in his epic circus tale when his famous star is injured. Mem is plagued by uncertainty about her talent to replace a big star but succeeds despite religiously bent parents who hate Hollywood and the return of her no good husband. The climax features hubby trying to kill the director with a giant wind machine while a fire rages on the circus set. 

SOULS FOR SALE is a kind of standard poor girl makes good love story drama with a guessable twist and good acting and production but what makes it a standout is the 'film within a film" setting where many silent screen stars and directors appear as themselves including Erich Von Stroheim directing a scene from GREED! Mae Busch, Snitz Edwards and William Haines are also in it. Star Boardman was very popular at the time (she made her last film in 1935) and starred in King Vidor's THE CROWD and TELL IT TO THE MARINES with Lon Chaney. 

Director/screen adapter Rupert Hughes was the uncle of Howard Hughes...

Thanks for reading!

The Wong and Only!

THE FATAL HOUR-1940-After his friend Dan Grady is killed, Captain Bill Street (Grant Withers) teams up with Asian sleuth Mr. Wong (Boris Karloff; didn't know he was Chinese, did ya?) to find the killer. Meanwhile female reporter Bobbie Logan (Marjorie Reynolds) returns from the previous Wong mystery and tries to help. This entry, the fourth of six King Karloff made for Monogram features a lot of sub-plots involving jade smuggling, a radio broadcast and suspects galore but not enough Karloff! As with all of them William Nigh directed and Scott Darling wrote it.

Thanks for reading!

Daring Drug Expose'

MARIHUANA-1936-More REEFER MADNESS influenced anti drug mania with two sleazy grass peddlers who recruit a woman (Harley Wood) to help them push weed after the boyfriend who impregnated her is killed in a drug smuggling operation. Later they kidnap her sister's child and hold her for ransom until she learns it's actually her child! Another badly acted morality tale from exploitation master Dwain Esper, the director of MANIAC and HOW TO UNDRESS IN FRONT OF YOUR HUSBAND.

Thanks for reading!

More Found Footage

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY-2007-Did you ever see one of those obviously phony "paranormal" or "poltergeist" videos on YouTube? Well this "found footage" ghost/horror story is just like one except it's longer and more boring! A couple (Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat) believe their house is haunted and decide to film the goings on. Most of it is talking, false scares, lights going on and off and strange noises. The wife seems to be possessed at times. Can't see how this could get a major release and spawn sequels! But it did! 

Director Oren Peli also made the equally disappointing THE CHERNOBYL DIARIES.

Thanks for reading!

Enter Fassbinder

LOVE IS COLDER THAN DEATH-1969-Rainer Werner Fassbinder's first film is a talky slow moving drama about hitman Bruno (future director Ulli Lommel) and friendship with Franz (writer/ director Fassbinder) who refused to join "the syndicate" and his hooker girlfriend (Hanna Schygulla, who went on to make many more films for Fassbinder). If you like grainy amateurish black and white films that look like they were filmed on the weekend when the actors weren't at their regular jobs then you might like this.

Are You Sure?

DILLINGER IS DEAD-1969-Bored industrialist (Michel Piccoli) comes home as usual to find his wife (Anita Pallenberg) in bed with a headache and his dinner cold. While preparing his own meal he stumbles across a mysterious package wrapped in newspaper. The newspaper bares a headline about the death of American gangster John Dillinger and the contents is a gun. While preparing his dinner he becomes intrigued with the gun, examining it, taking it apart and cleaning it. Even using it to enact suicide. Later after finishing his meal he paints the gun red, hangs it to dry and watches home movies. After having sex with his house maid (Anne Giradot) he retrieves the gun, puts a pillow over his wife's head and shoots her to death. He then goes and gets a job as a cook on a yacht. The End. 

This dark little film from Italy was directed by Marco Ferrari and caused quite a stir upon it's initial release. What you make of it is your own business. It was very rarely screened for along time but now many critics think it's Ferrari's best. No stranger to controversy, a few years later Ferrari made the infamous LE GRANDE BOUFFE (also with Piccoli).

Thanks for reading!

Clay

CLAY PIGEON-1971-Low budget Al Adamson like crime drama about a former 'Nam vet Joe Ryan (Tom Stern) turned drug taking slacker hippie used by a devious police detective Redford (Telly Savalas) to catch a grouchy drug dealer (Robert Vaughn who's nutty performance and crazy wardrobe make this mess worth watching!). He's assisted by henchman Simon (Ivan Dixon) who shoots Marlene Clark (who appears topless) in the head. Redford's equally grouchy police captain is played by John Marley. Burgess Meredith is an old hippie like junk dealer and Peter Lawford appears in one scene. 

Producer/writer/director Stern who's not much of an actor seems to be saying: cops are bad and drugs are good. He was in other movies and TV shows but this was his only directorial effort.

Thanks for reading!

Mean Mess

MEAN MOTHER-1974-Inane confused story about 2 Vietnam AWOLs (Singer Dobie Gray under the pseudonym Clifton Brown and Dennis Safren) trying to get to Canada. They separate and each becomes involved with gangsters, drugs and smuggling. It's pretty boring despite fights and shootouts. 

This was actually a European production shot in 1971 in Spain by Leon Klimovsky (who directed many great Paul Naschy movies in the '70's) called RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Independent International picked it up and as usual producer Sam Sherman had paste up genius Al Adamson (under the name Albert Victor) shoot new scenes with American actors. It's a mess. Marilyn Joi and Luciana Paluzzi are also in it. Independent International released most of Adamson's notorious '70's horror and exploitation films.

Thanks for reading!

The Movie That Cried Wolf?

SHE-WOLF OF LONDON-1946-In jolly old (fake) England, heiress Phyllis (June Lockheart) is ready to marry her beau Barry (Don Porter) just as a series of murders plague the area, all credited. to a mysterious "she-wolf". While an inspector (Dennis Hoey; Lestrade in the Universal Sherlock Holmes series) and his assistant (Lloyd Corrigan) investigate, Phyllis comes to believe she is responsible for the murders due to a family curse. Her aunt Martha (Sara Hayden)), who'll lose her house if Phyllis marries, acts way too suspicious to be trusted and her daughter Carol (Jan Wiley) is always trying to sneak off to see her boyfriend Dwight (Martin Kosleck) who's attacked in a park.. Eventually it's revealed that it's all a plot by Martha to drive Phyllis insane but interference by their housekeeper (Elly Maylon) puts an end to it. 

Pretty standard Universal programmer by Jean Yarborough who made THE BRUTE MAN and HOUSE OF HORRORS (both starring Rondo Hatton) the same year although I was surprised by Corrigan's character's death. And there's no wolf!

Thanks for reading!

Condensed Serial

ROBINSON CRUSOE OF MYSTERY ISLAND-1936/1966-This 12 part serial was originally called ROBINSON CRUSOE OF CLIPPER ISLAND. 30 years after it was first released it was condensed in this short movie and sold to television!

Mala, a Polynesian federal agent (Mala) investigates the strange events on the mysterious Clipper Island after a dirigible blows up and its landing field is destroyed. Foreign spies working for the shadowy "HK" are to blame. They can make a volcano on the island erupt which upsets the natives but their newly returned queen Melani (Mamo Clark) tries to hold things together despite interference from Porotu (John Piccori), an androgynous local high priest. Mala gets in a lot of predicaments, dives into the ocean and is assisted by his St. Bernard Buck (playing himself) and his horse Rex (Rex the Wonder Horse). The acting is bad but not unusual for this kind of thing and Mala kinda sounds like he took acting lessons from Johnny Weissmuller. The funniest part though is the look of terror on the face of the co-pilot when the dirigible is starting to crash in the first scene!

Mala (AKA Ray Mala) was born in the Alaska territory and came to Hollywood at an early age. Besides making around 25 movie appearances, he also worked as a cinematographer. Unfortunately he died of heart failure at age 45 in 1952. One of the directors (Mack Wright) also directed RIDERS OF THE WHISPERING SKULL.

Thanks for reading!