Tamara

 

TAMARA-2005-A high school student named Tamara (Jena Dewan Tatum) is bullied and disliked by her classmates. Her father doesn't treat her much better. In her spare time she practices witchcraft. After some (typical) moronic students play a prank on her in a hotel room she's accidentally killed. Even though one of the girls involved wants to come clean, the others blackmail her to keep quiet and bury the body. Much to everyone's surprise the next day Tamara shows up in class. Apparently she's come back for revenge! In a cringe worthy scene she makes a nerd cut off his ear, part of his tongue then stab himself in the eye. She makes her pervert father eat beer bottles and makes two male jocks have sex together. Then she makes one of their bulimic girlfriends puke up her guts and eat her own fingers. The two remaining teens get help from a teacher Tamara has a crush on. She sends the two jocks to kill the teacher's wife in a scene that goes on way too long (the wife kills both jocks). It really gets ridiculous when Tamara terrorizes what's left of the cast in a hospital devoid of doctors, nurses and patients. The teacher sacrifices himself to destroy Tamara but they forget about one other person...

As back from the dead for revenge flicks go this isn't too bad but like most modern day horror stories it's too long and runs out of steam relaying on long chases and pointless secondary side stories. Director Jeremy Haft directed some video games after this and according to at least one source is writing the screenplay for a film bio of late rapper Tupac Shakur.

They Is!

 

THEY-2002-A woman (Laura Regan)) studying to be a psychologist seems to have a relapse of “night terrors” she experienced as a kid when her childhood friend kills himself. It turns out some blobby monster is after her. It chases her through the subway where she gets lost and attacks her rescuers. She's locked up in a hospital and no one believes her story. Eventually the monster takes her to another dimension. The end. After this director Robert Harmon made several JESSE STONE TV movies with Tom Selleck as a cop and episodes of “Bluebloods” (also with Selleck). Sometimes called WES CRAVEN PRESENTS THEY (I don't know why he'd want to brag about it)......

 

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Lock It Away!

 

STORAGE 24-2012-Hard to recommend this politically correct SUPER 8/ALIEN rip-off made in England. A bunch of idiots with lots of personal problems are menaced by a bloodthirsty creature inside a storage facility. Hearts are ripped out, faces bitten off and bodies are eviscerated The climax is ridiculous. According to the IMDB writer/director Johannes Roberts made the world's first series for mobile phones. I'm so down after watching this movie I can't even make a joke about that. I've wasted enough of everybody's time.

 

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AAA: Another Amicus Anthology

 

 

THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD-An obnoxious police detective (John Bennett) investigates the disappearance of film star Paul Henderson. A real estate agent (John Bryans) tells him strange things go on in the house where a woman has also vanished. He gives the detective the reports on the last few tenants for him to read. They comprise the stories.

In the first “A Method For Murder”, a horror writer (Denholm Elliot) creates a sinister character called Dominic (Tom Adams). It seems the character comes to life and the writer wonders if he's going insane. The twist ending makes no sense.

In the second “Waxworks”, Peter Cushing plays Phillip, a loner who listens to classical music and mourns the death of his lover. He and his friend Neville (Joss Ackland) become obsessed with a wax figure that resembles the dead woman. The museum's mad owner figures into the climax.

 

In the third “Sweets To The Sweet” (related by the real estate agent), Christopher Lee plays a stuck up businessman who treats his seemingly cute and innocent daughter in an overly strict manner. It turns out she's not exactly what she appears to be. Nyree Dawn Porter plays a teacher who tries to help.

In the final story “The Cloak”, Jon Pertwee plays pompous horror star Paul Henderson. When speaking of a film with Dracula in it he says “The one with Bela Lugosi. Not that new fella”. (This was an Amicus production) Henderson buys a mysterious cloak for his latest vampire role and it seems to turn him into a blood sucker. His co-star/lover Korla (Ingrid Pitt) turns out to be the real thing!

In the ridiculous finale Henderson and Korla attack the detective when he goes to investigate.

This is an ok anthology from Hammer Studios' chief English competition at the time and the script by writer Robert Bloch is clever in spots but I thought the stories could have been better. I wasn't really satisfied with the conclusion to most of them and the direction by Peter Duffell seems rushed in parts but it's always good to see a nice old fashioned anthology like this especially with a great cast.

Around this time Bloch was a busy writer doing more stuff for Amicus like ASYLUM and THE TORTURE GARDEN plus TV movies like THE CAT CREATURE and TV show episodes. It's also said that Vincent Price was first offered the role of Paul Henderson but his contract with AIP prevented him from accepting it.

 

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Christmas Corpse

 

 

 

 

A CADAVER CHRISTMAS-2011-Thisblack comedy gore film begins with a toilet bowl flushing. Small town idiots battle corpses come back to life from a morgue in the local college. The group includes a fat bartender, a drunk, a stupid former sheriff, the college janitor and a guy arrested for having sex with a goat (he later has sex with a corpse). Later a female security guard joins them and they fight the zombies with a mop, a plunger and a snow shovel. It's all a REANIMATOR like experiment by a teacher gone wrong, although this clearly influenced more by Peter Jackson's DEAD ALIVE.

 

Director Joe Zerull shot it to look like a grainy super 8 film. There's a ton of gore and some clever and funny parts but goes on too long and gets a little full of its self. I suppose killing zombies while “Oh Holy Night” plays might seem funny to some people...

 

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German Horror

THE DEPRAVED-2011-In Berlin, four young people (3 girls, 1 guy) go on an illegal underground tour to a secret Nazi bunker. At the bunker they find it full of weird 3^rd Reich graffiti. Unfortunately on the way back their German guide is badly injured in a fall after one of the girls takes his picture. Two of the girls go for help. The other two stay behind and meet a laughing German who turns out to be a crazy cannibal who likes to torture and kill. He holds the duo prisoners but the girl escapes into the subway. He follows her and re-kidnaps her despite the presence of many passengers. The killer even cleans up his mess at a station where he kills someone. The ridiculous story ends with the killer brushing his teeth with an electric toothbrush. I'm not sure if the title describes the killer or the director Andy Fetscher.

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Chan Returns

 

 

 

 

 

 

 DEAD MEN TELL-1941-Charlie Chan (Sidney Toler) investigates the mysterious goings-on on the ship planning a treasure hunt after the old woman heading it is scared to death by the “Ghost of Black Hook”. Everyone acts suspiciously. Even the Asian cook! George Reeves portrays an escape con and early victim. Future “Science Fiction Theater” host Truman Bradley is the captain with a talking parrot. Other suspects include a female psychiatrist (Lenita Lane) and her patient (Milton Parsons). Victor Sen Young is Jimmy, number 2 son, who helps a little but mostly gets in the way (and almost gets killed several times). “Trouble like first love, teach many lessons”.

 

This was the ninth of 22 appearances put in by the non-Asian Toler as the famed Chinese detective when the series was still at 20^th Century-Fox. Director Harry Lachman (THE LOVES OF EDGAR ALLEN POE) worked on many other Chan entries before retiring in 1943.

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Have A Cigar

 

 

LITTLE CIGARS-1973-Unusual crime drama (released by AIP) with Angel Tompkins (who had just appeared in Playboy) as a floozy on the run from her crime boss former lover who hooks up with a group of “little people” (in this also referred to as “midgets”) who use a dumb show to cover up their low level crimes. Their leader Slick (Billy Curtis) and Angel become lovers and she teams up with the group to commit robberies (a movie theater, a laundry, a bank) where their diminutive size comes in handy. Later they have a violent falling out and Slick and Angel wind up hawking candy bars at an abandoned carnival site. It's very low budget, preposterous and doesn't show dwarfs in a very good light but it was nice to see little people in the lead roles with lots of dialogue and not just being patsies or evil assistants. Angelo Rossetto appears in a police line up and Michael Pataki has a small role as a mechanic.

 

This is the only feature length movie made by Chris Christenberry who was usually a second unit director. Co-screenwriter Louis Garfinkle had written I BURY THE LIVING and later provided the story for THE DEERHUNTER! Frank Ray Perilli, the other writer later wrote LASERBLAST and DRACULA'S DOG.

 

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Corman/Poe

THE PREMATURE BURIAL-1962-Ray Milland is Guy Carrell, a doctor with a fear of being buried alive and haunted by terrifying dreams. His understanding new wife Emily (Hazel Court) tries to help him. Unfortunately it seems she may have bitten over more than she can chew. A song makes him cranky, he doesn't like flowers and spends most of his time in a mausoleum which he has rigged with gadgets to make sure he's not buried alive. His sister (Heather Angel) hands around suspiciously. His friend Dr. Archer (Richard Ney) tries to help while experimenting with dead frogs. Guy has a strange dream where he's locked in his mausoleum and almost drinks a cup of maggots. Eventually Emily brings Guy back to normalcy and he burns down the mausoleum but there seems to be a plot against him when he suffers a seizure and is buried alive anyway! He's freed from his dirty grave by two grave robbers (one is Dick Miller) and becomes a sunken eyed revenge seeking ghoul who electrocutes his father in law (Alan Napier).

THE PREMATURE BURIAL started out for some reason being made by director Roger Corman for Pathe' studios instead of AIP. (He had already made THE HOUSE OF USHER and THE PIT AND THE PENDULEM for them) He wanted to cast the star of those previous two Poe adaptations, Vincent Price in the lead but he was under contract to AIP so Corman got Academy Award winner Ray Milland to fill in. He does a good job but doesn't have the intensity Price often brought to his roles. Still despite the dumb resolution it's a good entry into the “Poe series”. Charles Beaumont was a co-screenwriter. Corman was busy in '62. He made this, the usually overlooked THE INTRUDER, the kind of remake of TOWER OF LONDON and TALES OF TERROR.

 

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Is It Really The Last One?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE LAST EXORCISM-2010-A phony preacher (Patrick Fabian) goes to a rural Louisana farmhouse to perform one last exorcism on a young girl. He brings along a camera crew so once again we have a horror tale from the “found footage” genre which is fast being beaten to death by filmmakers. After the preacher does the ritual, things go from bad to worse with the girl (Ashley Bell) going crazy and terrorizing the crew while her redneck father insists another exorcism should be performed. She even slashes her dim wit brother across the face. The group has plenty of chances to escape but always finds some distraction to stay. When the girl is found to be pregnant incest is suspected.

 

Like most of this kind of story the herky-jerky camera work begins to wear on the viewer and the confused hectic plot goes on too long but I liked the unexpected ending. After this director Daniel Stamm worked on TV series called THE INTRUDERS. An unnecessary sequel followed.

 

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