My Last For 2010..if you are lucky!

TENTACULES-1977-This Italian production from director Ovidio G. Assonitis features several name American stars and a lot of tedium. After several underwater incidents involving a conglomerate called Trojan Inc, , a local reporter Ned Turner (John Huston) investigates. It seems there is a giant octopus hanging out ready to munch locals. Henry Fonda is the company owner and Cesare Danova is his flunky. Shelly Winters plays Turner’s sister who wears a huge sombrero. Claude Aktins is the local sheriff trying to contain (cover-up) the trouble. Bo Hopkins shows up as a famous scuba diver who’s expression barely changes. His bland plea to a few killer whales to help him destroy the monster is pretty funny. A fat guy goes swimming and gets killed and then the boat he was on is destroyed. It all has to do with a tunnel the company is digging. Meanwhile there’s a kid boat race that’s going to take place and Turner’s nephew is in it. Since it’s actually a Italian production many of the secondary actors’ voices are dubbed but for some reason Danova’s seems to be too! The SFX (including toy boats) are pretty cheesy.

Director Assonitis also made the "Exorcist" rip-off BEYOND THE DOOR and FOREVER EMANULLE. in 1974 and later produced James Cameron's first directorial effort PIRANNA 2: THE SPAWNING.

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The She Creature

THE SHE-CREATURE-1956-This AIP movie features one of the most recognizable monsters in ‘50’s horror history, thanks in part to Forrest J. Ackerman’s publishing many stills of it in FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND. The monster (created and played by Paul Blaisdell) is cool.

Unfortunately that can’t be said of the movie itself.

Sideshow hypnotist The Great Lombardi (Chester Morris in his last film role for many years) can regress his assistant (Marla English) to the 1600’s where she talks with an English accent. Through her he can also summon a giant clawed “prehistoric” monster to do his bidding. A psychologist (Lance Fuller who gives a very weird performance) tries to break the spell. Tom Conway (“The Falcon” and “The Saint” in better days) is the promoter who makes Lombardi a sensation. El Brendel (one of the stars of the strange ’30’s Sci-Fi flick JUST IMAGINE) is the comic relief Swedish butler. AIP regular Cathy Downs is Fuller’s fiancé and Mark Hudson (Harry in ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN) is a drunk. Kenneth McDonald (from late period 3 Stooges shorts) plays a doctor in one scene.

Despite being directed by the great and underrated Edward L. Cahn THE SHE CREATURE is big disappointment. In between sporadic monster appearances it’s all talk! There’s lots of scientific mumbo jumbo about love, hypnotism and past life regression (which was in the news at the time) and Fuller seems to be under some kind of spell himself. What a bad actor!

Screenwriter Lou Rusoff (brother in law of AIP co-founder Samuel Z. Arkoff) wrote many of their productions including THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED and the England based CAT GIRL. Morris was a Oscar nominated actor best known for playing the title role in the Boston Blackie series. Although active in TV he would not make another feature film until 1970’s THE GREAT WHITE HOPE. Unfortunately he died soon after completing his role.

English, Conway, Fuller and the monster (with a different head) all appeared a year later in VOODOO WOMAN. Fuller was also in Cahn’s WOMEN IN PRISON the same year. Also with Ron Randall, Frank Jenks, Frieda Inescort and Paul Dubov.

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I'm pretty scary though!
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Fish Tale

THE INCREDIBLE MR. LIMPET-1964-This was the first feature movie Don Knotts made after leaving THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW. It's a mixture live action and animation and aimed at both kids and adults. The former Barney Fife plays Henry Limpet, a meek bookkeeper with a nagging wife (Carole Cook) and an abnormal love of fish. It's the early '40's and he's come up 4-F in the draft. When his obnoxious brother in law (Jack Weston) comes home on leave from the navy he gets even more unhappy. When they go to Coney Island Limpet falls in the water and somehow becomes a (animated) fish (with glasses). He meets Crusty the Crab (voice of Paul Frees) and falls in love with Ladyfish (voice of Elizabeth Macrae). Eventually he helps The Navy sink Nazi U-boats.

Despite that premise it's harmless fun but it really feels like the first installment of a continuing series as the whole movie is basically a flashback and it ends with Chief Naval officer Andrew Duggan and Weston looking for Limpet in the present day. However no sequel was ever made. One can only wonder what a remake could be like...(one was announced at the time of this writing). Some songs are also featured.

Larry Keating plays another Naval officer and Oscar Beregi is Nazi captain. Director Arthur Lubin made the first 5 movies with Abbott & Costello, BLACK FRIDAY with Karloff & Lugosi, the 1943 version of THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, several in the Francis, the talking mule series and lots of TV (including MR. ED!).

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New Earth? Why Bother?

SPACEFIGHT IC-1: AN ADVENTURE IN SPACE-1965-A group of space travelers (with kids) are flying toward some Earth like new planet cleverly dubbed “new Earth”. They are lead by a grumpy American Captain Mead Ralston (American actor Bill Williams; everyone else is English which figures since this is a British production). He’s pretty dictatorial and seems also to be a fascist but part of his problem could be that he can’t get his wife pregnant. When one of the female crew is diagnosed with cancer he refuses to turn back and return to “old Earth” to save her life. When the wife kills herself, the remaining morons mutiny. They lock Mead up but he escapes and gets his command back by threatening to blow up the ship. One traveler in suspended animation gets out and walks around zombie like. He ties up the loose ends by murdering the captain. The most unusual crew member is former human doctor now a super computer severed head! A weird part of the story is that Ralston keeps talking about how the crew was “hand picked” to succeed yet everyone is complaining, belligerent and totally unprepared for any problem.

The plot has some merit I guess but this cheap British made Sci-Fi tale is just plain idiotic. One of the kids is played by pre-OLIVER Mark Lester. Director Bernard Knowles did a lot of British TV but two years later would co-direct The Beatles MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR (which was originally made for TV). Canadian screenwriter Harry Spalding wrote THE DAY MARS INVADED EARTH, CURSE OF THE FLY and later the Disney flop WATCHER IN THE WOODS and other things.

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Merry Christmas again!

A VISIT TO SANTA-(1963)-This is bizarre! A brother and sister write Santa a letter and he decides to let them come and visit. He has an elf (a little kid) pick them up in his magic helicopter (we never see it!). Santa sits in a recliner chair in what looks like an ordinary living room (probably the producer’s). The rest of the film is a scenes of some Christmas parades and a Christmas village (filmed in Pittsburgh I’ve read) with some weird narration. After showing the kids dolls and trains and other toys at the end Mr. Claus reminds them the true meaning of Christmas is to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ "hundreds of years ago”. Amazing!

Merry Christmas!

SANTA’S SLAY-2005-This stupid violent horror film features retired pro wrestler Bill Goldberg as an ancient evil St. Nick who comes back to kill idiots. A clever part has a flashback to his origins done in Rankin-Bass like animation. The opening scene has him killing a moronic family featuring James Caan, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan and Rebecca Gayheart. In the main story, a teenager (Douglas Smith) and his girlfriend (LOST’s Emile de Ravin) try to convince the residents of their town (called Hell) that an evil Claus is on the loose. Robert Culp (in one of his last roles) is the teen’s eccentric grandfather who knows all about the legend (originally Santa was evil but he lost a bet with God and had to become good for 1000 years…). Parts of it are pretty funny but much of it is just Santa killing various townspeople in gory and unusual ways however Goldberg is very good in the funny sinister role (“Just trying to spread a little Christmas fear!”)! Saul Rubinek plays a deli owner killed by Menorah and Dave Thomas is a hypocritical minister. Another ex-wrester, Tiny Lister has a small role. The director David Steiman had been an assistant director on a few films before making this.

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The Curse of Craven

CURSED-2005-Film auteur/hack Wes Craven returns (who told him to come back?) with this too much talk, clichéd, done it all before nonsense. A nerd (Jesse Eisenberg) believes he and his sister Ellie (Christina Ricci) have become werewolves. Joshua Jackson is Ellie’s boyfriend who may also be a wolf person. The wolf SFX aren’t that great and the mix of humor and violence doesn’t work. I wish Craven would learn how to make a good horror film or at least retire! 

Screenwriter Kevin Williamson wrote all 3 SCREAM movies (a fourth one is in production at the time of this writing). Also with Portia Del Rossi and the band Bowling For Soup in one scene. Craven made this between SCREAM 3 and REDEYE.

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Shiver Me Timbers! I'll Keelhaul Ya All!

BLACKBEARD THE PIRATE-1952-Avast ye scurvy dogs! Raoul Walsh, veteran director of Hollywood classics such as WHITE HEAT and LITTLE CEASER made this Technicolor swashbuckling pirate tale, full of comedic scenes, funny dialogue, broad acting and action but it really would be kind of routine if not for Robert Newton's over the top performance in the title role. He's the perfect pirate with his constant shouts of "Arrrrgh" and wisecracks.

As Blackbeard he kidnaps the supposed mistress (Linda Darnell) of a reformed pirate Henry Morgan (Torin Thatcher). Keith Andes is a doctor/spy trying to get the goods on Morgan. William Bendix is Blackbeard's (intentionally funny?) first mate Whorley and creepy Skelton Knaggs is another pirate. When the crew plan to bury a dead mate at sea Bendix says "For distance this time".

Irene Ryan (future granny on TV's THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES) is Darnell's boozy lady in waiting. Richard Egan is another "phony" pirate who helps Andes. Though Blackbeard talks crazy he always seems to get the drop on everyone but is undone by his own treachery when he tries to keep some hidden treasure for himself. There's a few lapses in plot especially when Andes character is whipped, has salt thrown on his wounds and is whipped again. Yet in the next scene he's feeling no ill effects. There's a lot of witty dialogue in between the romance. Blackbeard: "I be fishing for a rat". Whorley: Why? Are you hungry?". Usually tough guy Dick Wessell plays a Mexican pirate! Anthony Curuso is a pirate too.

Newton is kind of forgotten today despite having gained fame in the US playing another famous pirate Long John Silver on TV.

The same year as BLACKBEARD he played Javert in Lewis Milestone's version of LES MISERABLES. He had played Bill Sykes in the 1948 version of OLIVER TWIST. His early death at 50 in 1956 has been attributed to alcoholism.

Bendix was in A GIRL IN EVERY PORT with Groucho Marx the same year.

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Talking Chimp

CARNIVAL MAGIC-1981-In this low budget family oriented film a struggling carnival is given new life when their main attraction becomes magician Markov the Magnificent (Don Stewart) and his talking chimp named Alex (played by Trudi the chimp). All goes well until a jealous lion tamer sells Alex to a doctor who wants to dissect him! All the circus rubes get together to rescue him. The chimp (who grumbles more than talks but considering the low budget that's about all they could do) drives a car. There's some romantic sub-plots but the acting and script are below average. It was filmed in North and South Carolina.

This was one of the last films directed by Al Adamson (who was killed in 1995) and features his real life wife Regina Carroll (about the only "name" in the cast) in her last role (she died in 1992). I don't think it has ever been released on VHS or DVD making it one of Adamson's least seen films but once again TCM came through and showed at 2 am one night! Adamson made his last film LOST 2 years later.

It ends with the promise of MORE CARNIVAL MAGIC but alas it was never to be...

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Living TV

THE TWONKY-1953-While his wife is away philosophy teacher Carey West (Hans Conried) sees his life turned upside down by his new TV set. It starts off by lighting his pipe and cigarettes and eventually gets him involved with The US Treasury! It walks around his house and cleans up, opens coke bottles and even gives him a shave and shines his shoes, eventually running (and ruining) his whole life. The weird and kind of annoying college football coach (William H. Lynn) tries to help out and the TV (now dubbed Twonky) hypnotizes them.

Writer/producer/director Arch Oboler was behind THE TWONKY. He was best known for creating the radio series “Lights Out!” and made around a dozen movies between 1945-1972 including the post nuclear war themed FIVE and BWANA DEVIL (the first feature length 3-D movie).

Although this comedy/satire seems ripe for cult status I was disappointed. It’s dated and not very well made and the acting is pretty bland despite Conried in the lead. He’d star in another cult classic the same year though, THE 5000 FINGERS OF DR. T.

RIP-Irene Kaelin-1921-2010

See No Good Movie

SEE NO EVIL-2006-Eight teenage delinquents are send to clean up a dilapidated hotel where a bald evil serial killer is hiding out. The group also includes an ex-cop who years before had shot the killer in the head. Most of this is a derivative mess is torture and killings (he likes to pluck out eyes) but I was surprised when the ex-cop was killed so quickly! The killer (named Jacob Goodnight although he is never called that in the movie only in the credits…go figure…) is played by Glen Jacobs better known to some as the pro-wrestler Kane which should not come as a surprise as this nasty nonsense was a “WWE production” and head scumbag I mean honcho Vince McMahon Jr. was the executive producer. Who the hell knows what he was thinking?

SNE was directed by Gregory Dark, one half of the Dark Brothers who used to produce adult (aka porno) movies. He made a lot of non-porn under the name Gregory Hippolyte. Screenwriter Dan Madigan wrote episodes of the WWE TV product RAW. Their previous production was THE MARINE which starred another pro wrestler. See my review here: 

http://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2009/10/wrestlers-or-rock-stars.html 

I’m tired of promoting McMoron’s crap….

Thanks to my buddy Tony for lending this movie to me...

Happy Thanksgiving! Have A Blast.....

BLAST OF SILENCE-1961-Hit man Baby Boy Frankie Bono (writer/director Allen Baron who resembles Robert DeNiro) comes to NYC on Christmas Eve to shadow a potential hit job in this low budget film noir that for years was undeservedly over looked.

A narrator (un-billed Lionel Stander) provides cynical narration. Checking out a future hit (a minor gangster) provides great shots of New York in the early ’60’s (especially of Harlem in front of The Apollo Theater and Rockefeller Center). He buys a gun from Big Ralphie (Larry Tucker), a whispering fat guy with an apartment full of caged rats. After a Christmas walk, he meets Petey “from the orphanage”. He introduces Frankie to his sister Lori (Molly McCarthy) and he goes to their Christmas party where dances and rolls a peanut with his nose! He has a Christmas Day dinner date with Lori but kind of blows when he puts the moves on her too strongly. Meanwhile, he keeps following his prey learning his moves and routines. He then takes time to go to The Village Gate where a conga player singer named Dean Sheldon does two great songs! When Big Ralphie tries to blackmail Frankie they have a terrific, violent fight amid the escaped rats. Frankie decides he doesn’t want the hit. He’d rather make time with Lori but it turns out she has a steady boyfriend. He goes off and makes the hit but winds up shot to death on Long Island (because the mob doesn’t trust him anymore).

I really like BLAST OF SILENCE. It's gritty low budget photography really sets the mood. I read about it many years ago but never saw hide nor hair of it until it was “re-discovered” a while back. Star/director/writer Baron helmed one other feature TERROR IN THE CITY in 1964 then went into TV. The sometimes over the top narration was written by future Academy Award winner Waldo Salt. Producer/cinematographer/editor Merrill S. Brody shot CUBAN REBEL GIRLS in ‘59.

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Make Mine Marvel! Part 3

X-MEN 3: LAST STAND-2006-Although I read a lot of bad reviews for this hit second sequel I really enjoyed it. There are some rough spots but what movie is perfect? Nearly everyone returns including top billed Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, Halle Berry as Storm, Patrick Stewart as Prof. X and Ian McKellan as Magneto. Famke Jansen's Jean Grey is even resurrected as Dark Phoenix. Kelsey Grammer is The Beast. Michael Murphy is a scientist who has invented a cure for mutants. Magneto (acting more like the comic book version than ever before) doesn’t like it and puts together a mutant army to overthrow the world. The finale is great. 

Director Brett Ratner helmed all three RUSH HOUR movies and made many music videos early in his career. He was the executive producer of the first season of TV’s PRISON BREAK. 

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Make Mine Marvel?-Part 2

FANTASTIC FOUR 2: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER-2007-The mostly miscast four (Ioan Grufford as Reed Richards, Jennifer Alba as Sue Richards, Chris Evans as Johnny Storm and Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm) returns to save the Earth from the high-flying Silver Surfer (voice of Lawrence Fishburne), herald to the planet devouring Galactus (unseen here). Director Tim Story injects a little more humor this time (and still delivers on the action scenes) but the over all story is not very good.

Andre Baugher is a cardboard army officer who decides it’s better to trust Doctor Doom than the FF. This means the film really takes a downward spiral as Julian McMahon returns to chew the scenery. Kerry Washington is back as Alicia Masters and Stan Lee has a cameo.

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Make Mine Marvel?

FANTASTIC FOUR-2005-The future super team (plus Victor Von Doom who is engaged to Sue Storm) goes into space and gets bombarded by cosmic rays. They begin to exhibit strange powers. Wow! This is kind of similar to a comic book Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created in the early ‘60’s!

Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd; Lancelot in KING ARTHUR) gets insulted a lot for being a detached egghead. Human Torch Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) is a wise-ass moron who makes you wish he'd really go up in flames. (well at least there's no Herbie the robot) Sue Storm (miscast Jennifer Alba) mostly walks around naked (but she’s invisible of course). The future Doctor Doom (Julian McMahon) likes to whisper and chew the scenery. In this version he doesn’t wear a suit of armor. He becomes one instead! Only Michael Chiklis’ Ben Grimm (aka The Ever Lovin’ Blue Eyed Thing) captures any spirit of the original comic. He needed funnier lines though. The action scenes and SFX are well done though except maybe for Mr. Fantastic’s stretching power. Director Tim Story had previously made BARBERSHOP and TAXI.

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Protect Us From Crap!

GUARDIAN-(2000)-This one is really bad!

It starts during the Gulf War and has to do with a demon and a child "chosen by God" to stop him. Pink cocaine like power (called "Chaos") makes everyone who snorts it go crazy. Mario Van Peebles and James Remar are cops trying to figure it all out. If they can't how can the audience?? Rapper Ice-T shoots a woman in the head and gets beat up.

Director John Terlesky helmed other "classics" like CHOPPING MALL, CRAZY PEOPLE and VAMPIRELLA. 

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American Idle

IDLE HANDS-1999-A stupid teenager's hand (Devon Sawa) becomes possessed and kills people against his will. He kills his parents (Fred Williard and Connie Ray) and then his 2 best friends (but they come back to life and try and help him). A young Jennifer Alba is his next door neighbor. After many crazy battles with his own hand, he chops it off and it goes on it's own and kills people at a costume party. A woman (Vivica A. Fox) has a knife that can kill it. There's a lot of imaginative scenes and some gore but I would have liked it better if the leads in this horror comedy hadn't been pot smoking slacker idiots.

The director Rodman Flender also made LEPRECHAUN 2 and lots of TV episodes. According to IMDB he was once head of Roger Corman's Concorde Pictures.

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Do You Really Care About The Storyline?

BIKINI GIRLS FROM THE LOST PLANET-2006-This is just soft core sexual hi jinx with science fiction trappings from Fred Olen Ray (under the pseudonym Nicolas Medina). There are several lesbian scenes and the acting is pretty funny. Ted Newsom who directed EDWARD WOOD: LOOK BACK IN ANGORA is in it. Also with Nicole Sheridan, Christine Nguyen and Rebecca Love.

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More J Stuff

PRAY-2005-More J-horror this time set in an abandoned school where a guy and girl have kidnapped a little girl for ransom. They soon learn from the parents that the little girl has been dead for a year. Weird things start to happen involving the girl, violent death and betrayal. This film isn't that great but the ending is poignant and unexpected.

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Too Strange..

VITAL-2004-A man named Takagi (Tadanobu Asano) survives a car accident that kills his girlfriend. He gets amnesia but later joins a medical school dissection group. Somehow he winds up dissecting his girlfriend. A weird J-horror film that I didn't particularly care for. Director Shinya Tsukamoto also made TETSUO 1 & 2, SNAKE OF JULY and TOKYO FIST. Star Asano was also in ICHI THE KILLER and Beat Takeshi's ZATOICHI.

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Revenge Is His!

J.D.'S REVENGE-1976-This unheralded blaxplotation possession flick has Glynn Thurman as Ike, a hard working cabbie studying to be a lawyer getting taken over by a scar faced New Orleans gangster (named J.D.) killed in a slaughterhouse in 1942. He's coming back because he was framed for a murder.


Ike gets a lot of headaches so a doctor recommends he smoke some weed! He rants and cries, abuses his girlfriend and gives a white female passenger an unforgettable cab ride! Lou Gossett is a flamboyant preacher who may be responsible for setting J.D. up. When the ghost finally takes over completely Ike uses a razor on various gangster victims.

Thurman gives a nice shizo-performance. He had been in COOLEY HIGH the year before and was in Ingmar Bergman's THE SERPENT EGG (with David Carradine) the next year. In 1978 he married Aretha Franklin (they divorced in '84). He still makes occasional TV appearances but this movie is pretty much overlooked.

Producer/Director Arthur Marks made BUCKTOWN (with Fred Williamson) and FRIDAY FOSTER (with Pam Grier) and several other movies but worked mostly in TV.

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Naked Mummies

THE MUMMY'S KISS-(2002)-This is sort of a soft-core remake of the original MUMMY movie from 1932! Except the reincarnated mummy in this one is a lesbian princess. But who is anyone kidding? It's all just an excuse to show a lot of women naked, having a good time with each other. Most of the actress appear nude (or at least topless). It even features a flashback to ancient Egypt.

Richard Lynch appears as a professor and wears some weird robes. Mia Zottoli plays the evil title role. Arthur Roberts plays Orisis.

Director/writer Donald F. Glut was known for making clever amateur home movies in the '60's and later wrote for cartoon shows like "Scooby-Doo", "Spider-Man And His Amazing Friends" and "The Transformers". 

Guess he got tired of cartoons...

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The Professor-1958

We now move on to another "lost" pilot. A show that should have perhaps stayed lost unless you are easily entertained by nonsense (like me!). It's called THE PROFESSOR  (1958) and I have a hard time believing anyone could have made this thinking it could be sold as a series! It's too bad the director Tom McCain never made another movie. Who knows what hilarity he could have produced? Well...maybe it's just as well....

The story begins in the shoddy little lab of Dr. Wilmer, a dwarfish egghead with a funny voice. He's assisted by a nerdy guy named Mark who looks more like a bad Buddy Holly clone! Wilmer's daughter Betty also seems to assist him but she seems more interested in her newspaper reporter-boyfriend. A very weird government agent in a bow tie comes to visit. The dialogue and interaction between the characters during these scenes is incredibly goofy. The agent eventually relates the story of a Dr. Tristler who through some lab experiment gone awry has turned into a werewolf (his howl is pathetic) and is in fact prowling around the perimeter of Dr. Wilmer's lab! Wilmer and Mark do some experiments with a rabbit and a "shock ray" while elsewhere a "foreign commie" agent meets his (female) American contact in a library. He looks like something out of a silent movie with false moustace and eyebrows. The woman looks like a "typical '50's housewife"....

Meanwhile Wilmer and Mark continue their experiments while Betty waits for her boyfriend. The aforementioned werewolf prowls around outside. The boyfriend shows up for a quick make out session with Betty and a bawling out by Wilmer...

After more stilted dialogue, out of place close-ups and bad acting the two "commies" decide to invade the lab. The werewolf kills the guy and the lady (who is really an undercover reporter) is taken inside the lab. Wilmer gives a little speech about Dr. Tristler being his friend and it's over! Apparently, capturing and curing Dr.Werewolf would have to wait for the next episode!!!

This thing is crazy! Was this planned as some continuing series where the cast would try to cure the doctor? Near the end they do talk about curing him with a portable version of their "shock ray". Did the director know what he was doing? My guess is that this was suppose to be a two parter with the second part never made....

None of the cast ever went on to anything as far as I can tell with the exception of the actor who played the werewolf. Doug Hobart was his name and he was a stuntman and "live spook show" presenter. He also did make-up, SFX and production work on several low budget movies most notably two by director William Grefe: the eerie DEATH CURSE OF TARTU and the giant jellyfish drama THE STING OF DEATH (which featured Neil Sedaka). Pretty scary stuff.....

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Ed Wood on TV?

It's usually interesting to see un-aired TV pilots especially if they were made for a series that later made it to one of the networks. GILLIGAN'S ISLAND and THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW were two that featured different cast members but were never shown. The pilot for LOST IN SPACE was never aired but scenes were incorporated into an early episode after the series began.

But then there are TV pilots, some aired, some not, whose story was never sold. What happens to them? Well, thanks to modern age video tape, DVDs and e-Bay many of these unseen shows are surfacing. Most have at least something to offer: an unusual plot, one or two known (or soon to be known) actors, a future director, whatever....

Ed Wood made a TV Western pilot (in color) called CROSSROAD AVENGER in 1953. It featured former cowboy star Tom Keene as "The Tucson Kid", an Old West insurance investigator who is framed for the murder of a local sheriff by a corrupt saloon owner (Wood regular Lyle Talbot). The whole production is pretty sub-par with the actors spouting typical Wood dialogue while guided by Ed's lackluster "get it done quick" direction. A stand out scene is when "The Kid" and a prospector are caught in a night ambush. Instead of taking cover they stand out in plain sight in front of the bad guys and return fire until the prospector is shot dead!

Another ex-cowboy star Tom Tyler ( who also played the banaged lead in 1940's THE MUMMY'S HAND) is the not so hip deputy. It would be his last role as he died the following year. He kind of looks like Patrick Stewart to me!

Several other "Wood veterans" are on hand: the always entertaining Harvey B. Dunn (he plays the police chief in BRIDE OF THE MONSTER) plays the talkitive prospector and Keene Duncan and Bud Osbourne round out the cast. Wood even gives himself the small role as a Pony Express rider at the begining....

Supposedly Wood filmed a sequel and combined the two into an hour adventure. Some feel if this had sold Wood's no budget "classics" would never had been made...

CROSSROADS AVENGER isn't much unless you're an Ed Wood completist but it looks like a masterpiece compared to the next "lost" pilot.......

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Cavedog's Law

Hey! I like to watch old TV shows. For the last couple of months I've been watching a crime drama from the early '60's called BURKE'S LAW. It starred Gene Barry as a millionaire LA police captain who solved weird murders. The show was chocked filled with guest stars but despite a usually grisly murder the show was almost always played for laughs (except on a rare occasion). The reason I'm mentioning this is a couple of funny things I found associated with the show recently.

I was watching an episode ("Who Killed Molly" from 1964) where a character referred to Captain Burke as "Captain Kirk". That in itself isn't too strange. But also in that episode there was a character called Mrs. Tribble!

Kirk? Tribble?

Ok, so recently I was watching another, later episode ("Who Killed Merlin?" from 1964) and Paul Lynde (in his second dramatic role on the series) played a character named Dr. McCoy!!!

KIrk? Tribble? McCoy? Was this Gene Roddenberry's favorite show? Ok, I know Tribbles were created by David Gerrold but still....

Interestingly the role of Mrs. Tribble was played by Zasu Pitts in what turned out to be her last role...

Ok, tomorrow I'll have more TV stuff!

Living?

THE LIVING GHOST-1942-Stupid Mongram whodunnit with a former detective (James Dunn) coming out of retirement (after being a phony swami) to solve a murder in an old house. Joan Woodbury plays his love interest and there are many suspects. There's some "haunted house" scenes but it's mainly a comedy. Mongram regular Minerva Urecal has a supporting role.

THE LIVING GHOST was one of eleven movies William "One Shot" Beaudine (whose directing career started in 1915) made in 1942. Star Dunn won a best actor Oscar portraying the father in A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN in 1945. Woodbury later starred in a Brenda Starr serial.

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Mr. X Marks The Spot

THE MYSTERY OF MR. X-1934-A series of police killings plague London. The killer uses a sword to run his victims through. An American jewel thief Nicolas Revel (Robert Montgomery) finds one of the victims while stealing “The Breton Diamond”. The police think the killer (named Mr. X) and the diamond stealer are the same person. Revel devises a plot to try and get the police off the trail of the diamond with the help of his cockney cab driver accomplice (Forrester Harvey). The plot kind of backfires as Revel falls in love with the daughter (Elizabeth Allen) of the police superintendent (Lewis Stone) who was on to Revel anyway. It’s talky in spots but well done with a nice climax. The only dumb part is the way Revel figures out the killer’s pattern for his crimes. He figures out in a minute what the police couldn’t solve in weeks!

Director Edgar Selwyn only helmed a handful of movies (his most notable is THE SIN OF MADAME CLAUDET in 1931 for which Helen Hayes won an early Oscar). He was more successful with Broadway musicals he produced and/or wrote. He and his brother built The Selwyn theater in Times Square! Lead actress Allen was in Tod Browning’s MARK OF THE VAMPIRE the next year. For some reason Harvey is often listed as the father of the doomed Maria in James Whale’s FRANKENSTEIN though the role is played by another actor!

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Short Anime Catch Up

QUEEN EMERALDAS-1999-This is a spinoff of the popular Capt. Harlock anime series featuring his pirate ally Emeraldas who's more a wandering do-gooder than an actual pirate. She helps Hiroshi, a young boy who has lost his faith in humanity. If it sounds a little like GALAXY 999 it's because it all takes place in the some universe created by manga artist Leiji Matsumoto and Emeraldas is the sister of GALAXY's lead female character Maetel. This is a 60 min. OVA in two parts and very enjoyable. 


SOL BIANCA-1990-Japanese anime involving a group of female space pilots, their stolen space ship and a young stowaway who wants to rescue his mother from the evil villian Battros. There's a lot of action and soul searching and it spawned a sequel and a TV series.




BIOHUNTER-1997-Another anime, very weird and violent, about a vampire like virus that turns victims into powerful monsters. Not for everyone I guess but I liked it...

Thanks for reading!

Skulls R Us

Before we leave the low budget realm of 1950's film making (it will be back! ) and the career of Edward L. Cahn let's take a look at the last HORROR film he ever made (this of course includes his last film, a version of Beauty and The Beast which is really a fantasy...). It's called The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake and it's a winner!


The Drake Family is under the curse of an ancient Ecuadorian tribe. In the 1800's Capt. Drake had a certain native village slaughtered. Since then every male in the Drake Family has died mysteriously on his 60th birthday and had his head cut off and stolen! Jonathan (Eduard Franz, later in Cahn's BEAUTY AND THE BEAST) is the last of the line. After it's revealed at a funeral that his recently deceased brother has no head, a police lieutenent (Grant Richards, who usually played villians in director Cahn's films) investigates. He gets some help from Drake's daughter, Alison (Valerie French, who was in many TV shows in the '60's including The Prisoner episode "Living In Harmony") but soon we learn it is all the evil plot of Dr. Emil Zurich (Henry Daniell, former Dr. Moriarty to Basil Rathbone's Sherlock Holmes in the '40's), a specialist in shrunken heads. And he ought to know about heads. He's actually a tribal Indian with a white man's head sewn on his body!

But the real nightmare fuel here is Zurich's servant Zutai (Paul Wexler) a menacing long haired native who's mouth is sewn shut! He kind of looks like Frank Zappa combined with Todd Rundgren!

That's frightening!!

Oddly enough actor Wexler had a played a comic butler role in "The Bowery Boys Meet The Monsters" a few years before......

Anyway it's Zutai who does all the dirty work. He paralayzes his victims with a long poison needle then severs the head with a bamboo knife! Naturally this ritual is kept off screen and mostly just talked about but Cahn really builds up the atmosphere with the weird scenario of chopped off heads, skulls and voodoo dolls. Rather gruesome even in 1960. It moves at a nice clip and is never boring!

Got to love the shunken head!

"Four Skulls" was written by Orville Hampton who wrote many of the films Cahn directed, plus westerns, crazy stuff like "Riot On The Sunset Strip" and TV shows like "Perry Mason" and "Hawaii 5-0". Even "The Scooby Doo/Dynomutt Hour" (Hey! A guy has to eat, ya know!). His last work was on "Fantasy Island" in 1983 although he lived till 1997.

Of course Alfred Hitchcock made a fairly gruesome and eerie black and white film that very same year called PSYCHO!

Don't overlook this little masterpiece. See it with someone you love (or someone who loves good low budget horror movies!!!).

Thanks for reading!

RIP Claude Chabrol....

Part 4-Invisible Zombies....

So time was running out! The fifties were almost over. Ed Cahn had proven himself as a master of the low budget genre yet he would save the best for last! He made 7 (!!) movies in 1959 but none more entertaining or influencial than INVISIBLE INVADERS!!! If this didn't influence George Romero than nothing did!

Somehow a scientist, Dr. Noymann (John Carradine) gets blown up after experimenting with atoms. Another doctor named Penner (Phillip Tonge, who died later in the year) gives the eulogy. A little later on he's visited by the reanimated corpse of the previous declared dead Dr. Noymann who's dead shell is in fact being inhabited by a race of aliens "far beyond our galaxy". They want the people of earth to surrender to them or else everybody and everything will be destroyed. They kill "thousands" with their acts of sabotage. But most frightening of all, the aliens inhabit the bodies of the dead and make them rise from their graves to reek havoc among the living (at this point actual newsreel footage is shown!). The government decides to do something about it. They send various groups to underground bunkers to work on a solution....

Our story focuses on one such group: Dr. Penner, his daughter Phyllis (future mom to TV's Patty Duke Jean Byron), her kind of boyfriend Dr. Lamont (Robert Hutton, who had already solitified his B-movie career with THE MAN WITHOUT A BODY and THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK) and tough as nails Air Force Major Jay (John Agar in his third movie for Cahn and in one of his best roles). When the dead get up and start walking you can't help but see how this had an impact on Romero and NIGHT OF THE LVING DEAD especially with a small group in an isolated area terrorized by the resurrected dead. They even have a closed circuit TV to watch what's going on (scenes from Cahn's aforementioned CREATURE WITH THE ATOM BRAIN are shown here). Dr.Lamont seems like a coward even though apparently he wants to help but eventually Phyllis falls for the Major. Like many of Ed Cahn's films a narrator fills us in on what's going on, giving the whole a thing a documentary like feel, much like the TV scenes in NOTLD!

INVISIBLE INVADERS is a low budget classic full of great dialogue and scary scenes. It might best be viewed with friends after a couple of beers but it's influence on NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD can not be ignored.

Sadly this would be Ed Cahn's last venture into the realm of science fiction. In 1960, he would release one more horror movie (more on that in the future..) but for the next 2 years, until his death his output would consist mainly of crime dramas and westerns although his last film would be a modest, well done, color version of "The Beauty And The Beast". Cahn, originally from NYC, died in 1963.

I seem to have gone off stray with my original topic. I think my real reason for writing this was to shed light on the somewhat forgotten legacy of director Edward L. Cahn, a forerunner who has yet to get his due!

RIP-Kevin McCarthy...

Thanks for reading!

Part-3-Zombies Underwater...

Hey! It's been brought to my attention by my friend Tony that I over looked a movie that may have had a significant influence on George Romero. That would be THE LAST MAN ON EARTH, the first version of Richard Matheson's novel "I Am Legend" which was recently remade. I'll get around to that a little later. Right now here's part 3 of Ed Cahn!

Ok so Edward L. Cahn was only getting started! From 1955-59 he'd helm some of the best remembered low budget horror/sci-fi movies of the decade outside of Roger Corman like THE SHE-CREATURE, IT! THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE (ripped off by "Alien" 20 years later...but that's another story...), INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN, VOODOO WOMAN(which featured the costume of The She Creature with a new head!) and CURSE OF THE FACELESS MAN. He even found time to make other films on topics involving crime (two with Mamie Van Doren) juvenile delinquency and World War 2!!!



In 1957 Cahn unleashed THE ZOMBIES OF MORA TAU usually considered a very minor effort even by schlok movie fans, yet any movie that features a villain named George Harrison who's wife is played by B movie icon Allison Hayes can't be all bad...and it isn't!!

Somehere in Africa (?) an old woman (Marjorie Eaton, later in "Monstrosity") lives in a mansion near an underwater wreck where a crew of zombies (including her husband) guard a cache of diamonds. Treasure hunting Harrison (Joel Ashley) and his trashy wife (the ever buxom Miss Hayes) want the stash. They are accompanied by their ship's captain (nominal hero Gregg Palmer who also fought a killer tree in "From Hell It Came" the same year) and a doctor (ever present character vet Morris Ankrum). Thrown into the mix is the old lady's granddaughter (played by pretty Autumn Summer, who either never made another movie or changed her name!) wherein providing the usual love triangle of terror.

A scene in a masoleum like chamber and the underwater zombie attack scenes are rather effective despite the minuscle budget. I suppose this really didn't have much influence on Romero but it does have zombies and I just wanted to tell people about it!

As a side note: 1957 was a busy year for Allison Hayes too. She was in The Undead, The Disembodied and The Unearthly and in 1958 she would portray the lead in "The Attack of The Fifty Foot Women" and be propelled to B-movie cult-dom!!

But Edward Cahn wasn't done yet either! Although he would soon be winding down his "horror movie cycle" by 1959 he would make two doozys including the incredible:

INVISIBLE INVADERS

Thanks for reading!

Part 2-Ed Cahn and Romero Influenced Zombies

Edward L. Cahn was an editor at Universal during the Slient Era. He worked on films like "The Man Who Laughs" and "Jazz Mad". In 1926 he became chief editor. Five years later he directed his first film, the seldom seen and therefore underrated western LAW AND ORDER starring Walter Huston and Harry Carey.

My original review is here: http://http://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2008/06/westward-ho.html


The story concerns 4 violent and uncompromising lawmen who decide to settle down in a small town only to run up against a corrupt sheriff and some dishonest brothers. The movie got some good reviews but not much else. However Cahn kept plugging away, making movies like "The Gas House Kids In Hollywood" (1947) and "I Cheated The Law" (1949). He showed a little of "things to come" in 1950 when he made "Experiemnt Alcatraz" starring Robert Shayne (soon to be Inspector Henderson on TV's Superman) as a hardened crimminal who uses a rehabilitation experiment on "The Rock" as an excuse to kill a rival.

Then in 1955 Cahn unleashed the first of three movies that I believe had a big influence on George Romero and NOTLD, a little opus called THE CREATURE WITH THE ATOM BRAIN!!

The story concerns an evil gangster's revenge on the people who crossed him. But instead of the usual revenge technics like machine guns and time bombs this guy (portrayed by Michael Granger who would work for Cahn in future films) uses reanimated dead men to do his dirty work! They have pasty white faces and stitches (ala FRANKENSTEIN) around their foreheads where the gangster's mad scientist/war crimminal/creator has planted the title device! The gangster has a TV like screen that him enables him to see exactly what his undead army is doing. He even has a microphone and can project his voice through their bodies!

And he and the scientist do everything including the operations that transform the dead into zombies! Richard Denning (who would also star in Roger Corman's classic THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED) plays the police-scientist who figures out the whole thing when he notices the zombies leave radiation traces whenever they strike. This leads to an all out confrontation between the undead gang and a small group of soldiers and policemen. Close-ups in these scenes really remind you of NOTLD, especially it's well done TV parts. And shades of Al Adamson! Some of these scenes are used earlier in the film to depict the first creature attack!!!

My original review for it is here:
http://http://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2010/01/atom-brains.html
But this was only the first.......