Not An Army Of Doctors

 

ARMY OF FRANKESTEINS-2013-A mad scientist accidentally sends a pack of Frankenstein monsters back in time to the Civil War along with Alan, a skinny loser and a little kid from the present day. It's a horror comedy made in Oklahoma with gore influenced by things like ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER. A crazy southern general creates his own monster and Alan and the famous monster try to prevent John Wilkes Booth from assassinating Abraham Lincoln. It's pretty bad. Director Ryan Bellgardt has made other movies and probably will make some more...

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Bloody Iris!

 

 (imdb)

 

THE CASE OF THE BLOODY IRIS-1972-After a model is stabbed to death in an elevator, a woman Mizar (Carla Brait) wrestles a guy in a club and makes him submit after a fey photographer tells a guy Andreas (George Hilton) to use her in ads for his beer company. Then a model Jennifer (Edwige Fenech) loses it during a shoot and later meets her estranged husband Adam (Ben Carra) who wants her to come back to his orgy like existence. Then Mizar is drowned in her own bathtub. Jennifer is stalked and attacked but escapes. When her friend is killed everything seems to point to Andreas being the killer. But then there's also that scarred guy hiding in his mom's apartment..... 

This made in Italy production is ok with some suspense and gore but sometimes it's kind of talky. Director Giuliano Carnimeo made the “Sartana” series and later EXTERMINATORS FROM THE YEAR 3000.

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Noose Hangs In Between

 

NOOSE FOR A GUNMAN-1960-Routine western with gunslinger Case Britton (Jim Davis) returning to a town where he killed 2 men, to meet Della Haines (Lyn Thomas), his bride to be. He also warns the Marshall (Walter Sande) that outlaw Jack Cantrell (Ted DeCorsia) and his gang are heading for the money in their bank. Town big shot Avery (Barton McLane) and his hired gun Link (Leo Gordon) are in cahoots with the gang. Harry Carey Jr is also in it and Victor (father of Al) Adamson has a bit role. The year before NOOSE director Edward L. Cahn and screenwriter Robert Kent also teamed to make the far superior THE FOUR SKULLS OF JONATHAN DRAKE.

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Low Budget Cat

 

 (imdb)

ALLEY CAT-1984-Billie (Karin Mani) beats up two idiot gang members trying to steal the tires off her car. Later, their leader (Micheal Wayne) has them attack Billie's grandparents. Grandma winds up iñ a coma. At the hospital she meets a cop Johnny (Robert Torti) who she dates. When she stops a rape, Johnny's partner arrests her for carrying an illegal gun and other counts. Johnny bails her out. When she can't get justice she takes it upon herself to get the scum and succeeds. Badly made with three directors credited.

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Gore Comedy

 

THE UNDERTAKER AND HIS PALS-1966-In this slapstick gore movie, Doc and Spike, two psychotic greasy spoon diner owners kill women and serve their parts to customers. It's full of phony gore and stupid comedy bits with cartoon sound effects. (One victim is Sally Lamb and they serve her leg. Leg of lamb, get it?) A prissy obnoxious Undertaker (Ray Dannis; also in TV Mikels' THE CORPSE GRINDERS) helps them and tries to rack up business for himself. One scene has a woman beaten to death with a chain. A nosy black delivery guy is axed in the head. Another woman is cut open but this scene is actually real operation footage. Scenes of the undertaker in drag were cut and now there's only one quick scene during the comical end credits. Harry Glass (James Westmoreland using the name Rad Fulton), a PI, looks for them after his girlfriend Sally Poultry is killed. 40's Batman star Robert Lowery has one scene as a customer who pies Spike. It's the only movie directed by TLP Swicewood (also the screenwriter). Westmoreland was later the stupid hero cop in DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE.

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Jerry Warren's Frankenstein

 

 (wikipedia)

FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND-1981-4 balloonists, Curtis Ryand (Tain Bodkin), Dr. Paul Hadley (Robert Clarke), Mark Eden (Robert Christopher; a co-producer) and Dino (Patrick O'Neil) crash on an island. After going through a cave (where a familiar face watches them) they find a woman bound and then meet a whole tribe of scantily clad "native" women who take the men back to their cave. While the men have dinner, the women do a dance. The next day we learn the bound woman was being initiated into the group. A strange force surrounds their camp and the women seem "deep into witchcraft". Then two loonies Jocko (Steve Brodie) and Angus (Richard Banks) show up. They lead the small group to a laboratory complex where they find Jason (Cameron Mitchell), a sea captain held prisoner for 17 years. (his short soliloquy is pretty funny). After he's sedated the group meet Shelia Frankenstein-Van Helsing (Katherine Victor), the great granddaughter of the infamous doctor who created the island and despite being dead still controls it. Her husband Dr. Von Helsing, is a bed ridden old man who has to be jolted into consciousness to babble about the Frankenstein monster being chained to a reef. There are also a bunch of zombie like servants in sunglasses and wool hats. The girls dance some more. The real Dr. Frankenstein (John Carradine) shows up occasionally as a hologram to say things like "The power! The power!". Hadley (under some drug) winds up helping Shelia experiment on the girls (who are the offspring of aliens) to help her senile husband. When the rest of the guys revolt Shelia calls on great granddad who summons his monster (obviously trying to imitate Bela in FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN). 

The ridiculous final fight is very reminiscent of the one in "THE WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN", but it's easy to see why. Both were directed by the usually incompetent Jerry Warren. In fact FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND was Warren's first film in 15 years after making “Batwoman” in 1966! (with Victor and Brodie). In the end the men escape and tell a colonel (Andrew Duggan) about the island but when they return everything has vanished (??). 

It seems based on another Jerry Warren movie TEENAGE ZOMBIES. This was the third Jerry Warren movie Robert Clarke (THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON) starred in. Warren threatened a sequel but it was never made. He died 1988.

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ET Go Home

 

 (youtube.com)

MAC AND ME-1988-Widely panned as one of the worst movies ever made because of its ET rip offs and gratuitous product placing of McDonald's and Coca cola, this family oriented sci-fi comedy features a kid Eric (Jade Calegory) in a wheelchair who befriends a small alien being accidentally transported from his home planet to earth. They get into a lot of mischief and dangerous situations but have time for a big dance number at Mickey's D's which even features a cameo by Ronald McDonald himself! The tragic/happy ending was changed before release but remained in a Japanese version. 

Director Stuart Raffill had previously made THE ADVENTURES OF THE WILDERNESS FAMILY, ICE PIRATES and THE PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT.

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You Decide

 

 (imdb)

RORSCHACH-2015- Critics proclaim "Scariest movie on the internet!" but you can decide for yourself. This is a very low budget found footage investigation by two guys at the house of a woman and her young daughter. Mom believes her grandmother's ghost is haunting the place but there's also doll left by the previous owners. What's going on? Director C.A. Smith presents this in a way to resemble a real life event more than most found footage stuff but it's still kind of slow going. 

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Again?!

 

 (wikipedia)

TEXAS CHAINSAW-(3D)-2013-A young woman named Heather (Alexandria Daddario) finds out she's related to the infamous bloodthirsty "family" from the original 1972 movie after her grandmother dies and leaves her a mansion in Newt, Texas. She drives there with her boyfriend (Trey Songz) and another couple. Along the way, they pick up a hitchhiker (who turns out to be the first victim). Yes, bad old Leatherface (her cousin Jed Sawyer) is still alive and seeking revenge on the mayor and the other inbred hicks who killed "their family". A deputy Carl (Scott Eastman) seems helpful but turns out to be redneck scum too. Sadistic, graphic, idiotic excuse to turn Leatherface (Dan Yeager) into a hero but since he's a work of fiction and the white cracker hillbillies really exist well who am I to criticize? Thank God for African American sheriffs! And they all lived happily ever after. 

What's wrong with filmmakers today? 

Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen and Marilyn Burns have small roles (the last for Hansen and Burns).

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Selfie

 

 (imdb)

SELFIE FROM HELL-2018-A woman Hannah (Alyson Walker) takes care of her sick friend Julia (Meelah Adams) who seems to be involved in some paranormal activity on the dark net. Hannah asks a guy named Trevor (Tony Giroux) to help her and he tells her about red rooms and black rooms. This stupid movie just goes on and on till its idiotic nonsensical conclusion. Started out as You Tube video and it shows. Directed by Erdal Ceylon.

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Up On Blood Creek

 

 (imdb)

BLOOD CREEK-2009-In 1936 West Virginia, a conceited Teutonic Nazi Mr. Wirth (Michael Fessbender) visits a German family, looking for rune stones for The Third Reich. When their little daughter's bird dies he brings it back to life. Back in the present EMT worker Evan Marshall (Henry Cavill) takes care of his father (who blames him for his brother Victor's disappearance) and argues with his sister in law about her kids needing hope. One night his brother Victor (Dominic Purcell) shows up ranting and looking like a deranged hillbilly. He takes Evan to the very same shack from 1936 where he's been held prisoner for 2 years. Wirth is now a supernatural creature who can bring back the dead but needs blood. He sends dead horses to attack and puts a spike in his own head. Lots of bloody sfx and as usual not much else. Directed by Joel Schumacher in Romania.

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Vampiro

 

 (imdb)

VAMPIRO: WARRIOR OF THE NIGHT-1993-Pro wrestler Vampiro (the real life wrestler aka Ian Hodgkinson) is captured by a cartoonish mad would be ruler of the world. He's after something called "the nitro weapons". La Rosa, a masked alien wrestling woman and her Ewok like pet, also search for them. The atrocious dubbed dialogue makes it hard to tell if it's supposed to be a straight forward comedy or not. Vamp (who's voice is dubbed) disappears during the final battle but shows up at the end to lament La Rosa's departure. Crazy low budget action made to cash in on Vampiro's popularity in Mexico (where this was filmed). The '80's synth soundtrack doesn't help. Some real life wrestlers also appear: King Haku, Norman Smiley, Ultimo Dragon and Negro Casas among them.

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Demon vs. Demon (Blue, that is....)

 

 (amazon.com)

NIGHT OF MURDER-aka DEATH NIGHT-1975-It seems Blue Demon is committing a series of robberies and murders. The police are baffled. However it's actually a vengeful criminal impersonating him. The real Demon has to clear his name then fight for his life in the ring. Not much happens in this dull Luchador superhero entry despite being director by “Lucha Libre” vet Rene Cordona.

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Com'on, Irv!

 

 (imdb)

SANTO & BLUE DEMON VS. DR. FRANKENSTEIN-1974-Someone is killing women and reanimating them. Santo teams up with Blue Demon to find out why. Behind it all is the 113 yr. old mad scientist Irving Frankenstein (Jorge Russek), grandson of the infamous doctor. Irv is doing brain transplants on the kidnapped women to try and bring his dead wife back to life (her corpse is frozen). Two female detectives help out the wrestlers. Irv has a potion that makes two old neuro-surgeons young and they agree to hepl him. He also has a zombie like strong man Golem who later puts on a masked and wrestles Santo in the ring. Miguel Delgado directed this fairly entertaining entry.

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Santo Strikes Again!

 

 (rottentomatoes.com)

SANTO AND THE REVENGE OF LA LLORONA-1974-The silver masked one hunts for the treasure of Llorna, the legendary weeping woman. It's a big job so he enlists the aid of (real life) boxer Jose Napoles. They and a weird professor go to her grave to find a medallion while the professor's daughters secretly follow them. Also following them are a criminal gang. Santo finds the medallion but in the process awakes the petrified body of La Llorna. 

Director Rene Cordona Sr. appears as a gangster. This average Santo movie was directed by Miguel Delgado, one of four he made starring our silver masked hero.

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 (imdb)

Browning's Second To Last

 

DEVIL DOLL-1936-Two Devil's Island escapees hide out. One guy, Marcel (Henry B. Walthall), a scientist can shrink living things (he's only done it with dogs so far). He seems to think this will provide more food for mankind. The other guy Paul Lavond (Lionel Barrymore) wants revenge on the business partners who put him in jail. When Marcel dies, Lavond helps Marcel's wife experiment on their servant girl ("We can make the whole world small"). He really doesn't want any part of it but then has an idea. He disguises himself as an old woman and plans his vengeance against the three who did him in. Meanwhile he also visits his daughter Lorraine (Maureen O'Sullivan) who hates her father. She lives with her grandmother who knows her son's secret. Lavond sends a shrunk down person to rob and kill his accusers. In the end, he makes one of them confess (Pedro DeCordoba) and Marcel's wife tries to kill Lavond but she accidentally blows herself up. Lavond meets Lorraine but doesn't reveal his identity, pretending to be Marcel. He says her father is dead but he loved her very much. 

Although for some reason he isn't credited this is director Tod Browning's penultimate film (he made his last MIRACLES FOR SALE 3 years later). It makes good use of the miniature people and has good acting. One of the screenwriters was Erich von Stroheim. Guy Endore (MAD LOVE) was also a co-writer. It's based on a novel by A. Merritt.

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Samson aka Santo

 

SANTO IN THE WAX MUSEUM-1963-A reporter Susan Madison (Roxana Bellini) is doing a story on the wax museum run by the mysterious Dr. Karol (Claudio Brooke), an Auschwitz survivor who also bears scars on his body from a fire. Susan is attacked by a scar faced guy and disappears. Karol comes under suspicion. He asks wrestler El Santo (in this dubbed version he's called Samson) to help clear him. Susan's sister Gloria (Norma Mora) and her fiance Richard (Reuben Rojo) believe Karol is to blame. Of course it turns out Karol is the nut responsible for all the bad things. He wants to turn everyone in the world into ugly monsters. Santo has to fight a bunch of mutated humans, who eventually turn on the doctor, to save the sisters and Richard. 

This El Santo horror adventure was later edited and dubbed into English by K. Gordon Murray and played a lot on US TV. Mad doctor portrayer Claudio Brook later was the title character in Luis Bunuel's bizarre short SIMON OF THE DESERT (earlier he was in the same director's THE EXTERMINATING ANGEL). Director Alfonso Corona Blake also made SANTO VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMEN.

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The Defender of Justice

 

 (imdb)

SANTO VS. THE RIDERS OF TERROR-1970-A group of lepers escape from their sanatorium. They seem more like zombies. The townsfolk want to kill them but a sheriff and a doctor say they need compassion and lead a posse to bring them back alive. Meanwhile a trouble maker and his gang of thieves plot to commit crimes and blame it on the lepers. He makes a deal with the lepers but plans to kill them after they get what they want. The sheriff (Armando Silvestre from “The Wrestling Women” series by the same director) calls in "the defender of justice" El Santo! This is a actually more of a western type movie than anything else with the silver masked one smashing the bad guys, helping the lepers and finding a cure for them. 

The print is nice and the dubbing is ridiculous but funny! Director Rene Cordona (NIGHT OF THE BLOODY APE) made several more adventures with the sainted one. The screenwriter was also a pro-wrestler (luchador in Mexico).

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Different Aztec Mummy

 

 (imdb)

SANTO IN THE VENGEANCE OF THE MUMMY-1971-Once again pro-wrestler/crime fighter El Santo (playing himself) helps a scientist find a hidden treasure, this one belonging to an Aztec prince. After they desecrate his tomb his scary faced mummified body comes back to life. His fight with Santo in the climax is pretty long. The secret of the mummy (who uses a bow and arrow to kill most of his victims) is revealed in a disappointing ending. Santo's real life son El Hijo del Santo plays a young boy befriended by our hero. Director Rene Cordona and screenwriter Alfredo Salazar made this one.

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Santo Returns

 

 (imdb)

SANTO AND DRACULA'S TREASURE-1968-Pro wrestler El Santo of the silver mask has invented some kind of time machine but scientists he invites to look at it just laugh at him. His kind of girlfriend Luisa (Noelia Noel) volunteers to try the machine and winds up in the 18th century a victim of vampirism. Her father Dr. Sepulveda (Carlos Agosti) sends for his old friend Dr. Van Roth (Fernando Mendoza). Their neighbor the greasy suave Count Alucard is actually...guess who? Count Dracula (Aldo Monti), who heads "the legion of the living dead" made up of fanged sexy priestesses. During their "initiation" he bites them (several are topless and they all eventually strip) and then stamps them with the imprint of a bat. Santo, his nerdy assistant Perico (Alberto Rojas) and Dr. Sepulveda watch the events unfold via a TV set! 

Drac turns Luisa into a vampire and reveals his vast treasure to her. Just before she's to be killed Santo brings her back. In the modern day, the trio search for the count's ring and medallion which are the keys to translating the treasure map. A man in a black hood and his gang are after the treasure too. Santo winds up in the ring wrestling a henchman ( El Lobo Negro) for possession of both items. Santo wins of course but the hooded one brings Drac back to life and he goes looking for his possessions. 

This Mexican production was directed by Rene' Cardona. It's alright but there could have been a little more atmosphere. The direction is rather routine.

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Wrestling Women Return (and The Mummy!)

 (rottentomatoes.com)

 WRESTLING WOMEN VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY-1964-An evil Asian (phony) Prince Fujiyata (Ramon Bugarini) and his "sisters" seek "the codex of the Aztecs" and kidnap, torture and kill several scientists trying to get it. Only Prof. Tracy remains. He has a plan to divide his half of the codex (the prince has the rest) among his friends detective Armando (Armando Silvestre) and his dopey comical assistant Tommy (Chucho Salinas) and two female wrestlers Loretta aka Gloria Venus (Lorena Valasquez from DOCTOR OF DOOM) and Lucy aka Golden Rubi (US born Elizabeth Campbell) but Tracy acts very mysteriously. Fujiyata's henchman Mao abducts Charlotte, the daughter of a dead scientist and hypnotizes her to be his spy. Fujiyata sends his sisters (two real life wrestlers) to battle the girls for possession of each other's half. The girls win and Tracy (and a flashback) discovers where the treasure may be. They take a necklace. Unfortunately the Aztec Mummy is guarding the tomb. The group escapes but the mummy (who can change into a bat) follows them. He kills all the bad guys and tries to make Charlotte his bride. 

More crazy wrestling horror from Mexico directed by the super prolific Rene Cordona (SANTA CLAUS).

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Wrestling Women

 

 (imdb)

DOCTOR OF DOOM-1963-A mad doctor Prof. Ruiz (Roberto Canedo) is doing brain transplants on women. He also has a man beast Gomar (Gerado Zepeda) in his celler. When his latest experiment fails his assistant says they need women with higher IQs. The doctor's gang kidnap a lab assistant Alice but once again the experiment fails and Alice dies. Her sister is wrestling star Gloria Venus (Lorena Valasquez from SHIP OF MONSTERS). Gloria and newcomer Golden Rudi (Elizabeth Campbell) team up with police detectives Armando (Armando Silvestre) and Chema (Chuco Salinas) to try and stop "The Mad Doctor" who usually dresses like a KKK member. After several encounters the doctor creates "Vendetta", a wrestler with a gorilla's brain programmed to kill Gloria in the ring! 

Fun craziness from Mexico by director Rene Cordona and screenwriter Alfredo Salazar who collaborated the next year on a sequel.

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Terror

 

THE TERROR FROM THE YEAR 5000-1958-In an "isolated area in Central Florida", Prof. Erling (Frederic Brown) and assistant Victor (John Stratton) are doing experiments with time. They receive a strange statue from the future and send it to old friend Dr. Robert Hedges (Ward Costello) who's surprised when carbon dating reveals the statue is from 5200 AD, 3000 years in the future! It's also radioactive prompting Hedges to pay a call on his old friend after another doctor suggests Erling might have tried to murder him! Later Hedges meets Claire Erling (Joyce Holden), the prof.'s daughter who sent the statue to Hedges but didn't know it was radioactive. Claire and caretaker Angelo (Fred Herrick) take Hedges by boat to their isolated island. While Erling realizes the potential dangers of what they are doing Victor, who is Claire's fiancee and takes an immediate dislike to Hedges, wants to forge ahead regardless of the risks. He's been doing some experimenting behind his boss's back. At night Hedges sees Vic throw some suit cases into the lagoon. Swimming with Claire the next day he finds them but leaves them. Then Erling and Victor show Hedges a demonstration of their machine which has made contact with the future! Doubting Hedges puts his school medallion in the machine and a coin comes back with a message in Latin: "save us". Later Vic expresses his dislike for Hedges, Claire gets undressed and Angelo is caught spying on her. Meanwhile Victor is attacked by something he brings back from the future. Hedges suspects trouble and brings it to the professor's attention but he scoffs having caught Hedges and Claire in a romantic embrace. The next day Hedges goes after the suitcases and Vic tries to kill him. Hedges wallops him in a watery fight and reveals Vic's scratches to be radiation burns. It's decided Vic needs medical help so they take him to the mainland hospital but he sneaks out and gets drunk. While the trio go to see "I Was A Teenage Frankenstein" Vic steals a boat and goes back to operate the machine. He pushes it to its highest level and after a small explosion a sparkly creature emerges. Later Hedges retrieves a mutant cat from the lagoon. Then poor old Angelo is killed by the sparkly monster (obviously a woman). A doctor comes to examine Vic and suggests sending a nurse. The nurse arrives by herself at night and while walking to the house meets the disfigured monster (Solome Jens) from the future who kills the nurse and steals her face. She arrives to take care of Vic but instead hypnotizes him to her will. It turns out in the future every 5th child born is a mutant due to radiation. They need healthy specimens to fix their problem. She wants Vic to go with her. Claire spoils their plans, reveals that the woman is actually a mutant herself and Hedges shoots her. She and Vic are killed and Erling gives a hopeful speech for the future. 

This is a fairly cheap but fun AIP science fiction horror film made by producer/writer/director Robert J. Gurney who only directed 2 films after this and one was never even released! Among his other accomplishments are writing the screenplay for INVASION OF THE SAUCER MAN and producing REFORM SCHOOL GIRL. TERROR is supposedly based on a Henry Slesar short story “Bottle Baby”. Leading man Ward Costello became a frequent character actor on TV and in movies. The year before TERROR he played Joan of Arc's father in the TV adaptation of the Broadway play “The Lark” starring Julie Harris and Boris Karloff. Lead actress Joyce Holden had been in THE WEREWOLF (1956) and PRIVATE EYES (1953) (with The Bowery Boys). She retired from acting soon after making TERROR and when I originally finished this review she was still living. Unfortunately, she passed away in January 2022 at the age of 91. Co-star Frederic Brown popped up in a lot of things. On TV (PERRY MASON,GREEN ACRES,HAZEL), and in 2 Coleman Francis “movies” (THE SKYDIVERS, RED ZONE CUBA). “Future Woman” Salome Jens was making her feature film debut. Besides TV, she  costarred with Rock Hudson in John Frankenheimer's SECONDS (1966).

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Sequel?

 

 (imdb)

WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM 2-1989-Failed wizard Caedmon (Mel Welles) guides a young stupid kid Tybor (Robert Jayne) with a terrible haircut, to becoming a wizard so they can free three cities from the clutches of 3 wizards. They want a mercenary The Dark One (David Carradine) to help them but he doesn't want to leave his busy bar. Meanwhile Princess Amathea (Lana Clarkson) helps them and organizes an army. One wizard Loki (Edward Blackoff) tries to turn them to stone. A sorceress Freya (Diana Barton) and the wizard Donar (Sid Haig) have a sword the good guys want. Later The Dark One shows up to help them battle Zatz (outrageously overacting Henry Brandon in his last film role). 

It's basically a comedy, one of the handful of movies directed by Charles Griffith better known for this screenwriting efforts (LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, NOT OF THIS EARTH), many produced (and or directed) by Roger Corman who co-produced this filmed in Argentina “sequel” which has no characters from the first one! It also features stock footage from other sword and sorcery productions made by Corman's company Concorde. Co-star Clarkson was shot and killed by Phil Spector in 2003.

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Honey, I Shrunk The Budget...

 

 (imdb)

WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM-1985-This weird kind of kid oriented fantasy starts off with a narrator telling us about the age of wizards with scenes from other movies. Then in the kingdom of King Tylor, a wizard's son Simon (Vidal Peterson) is given a magic ring by his father just before their kingdom is attacked by the traitorous sorcerer Shurka (Thom Christopher) and his troops under the guidance of the evil queen, who kills the king and the wizard. Simon escapes with Wookie like companion Gulfax. Shurka imprisons the princess who's sweet on Simon and captures all the children. When Simon is trapped by some bad guys enter Kor (Bo Swenson), a sort of wino warrior/wanderer. Kor decides to help Simon despite the fact that he is being hunted by a cyclops who wants the warrior to marry his sister! At one point Simon comes under a spell of black magic and it's scenes from another movie (DEATHSTALKER; not unusual since this movie was produced by Roger Corman's Concorde which often incorporated clips from other movies). Later they meet a mermaid and Simon defeats Shurka.

 It's a very dumb story with terrible SFX written by Ed Naha who later penned TROLL and DOLLS for Richard Band and the big budgeted high profile HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS. He'd also written for many magazines including Starlog, Fangoria and Playboy. WIZARDS is one of a handful of movies filmed in Argentina by Concorde. Director Hector Olivera also made BARBARIAN QUEEN for Corman.

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Shark Geek

 

 (imdb)

AVALANCHE SHARKS-2014-Brain dead dorks on Spring Break at a ski resort called Mammoth Mt. are terrorized by sharks residing under the snow. Terrible mess despite some extreme gore. The director Scott Wheeler (also a video effects producer) also made ATTACK OF THE KILLER DONUTS.

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Mermaids

 

THE LURE-2015- Bizarre fantasy horror musical about two Warsaw mermaids hired by a sleazy club owner to perform at his place. Blond haired Silver falls in love with the house bass player while dark haired Golden kills and eats men. They form a Euro-trashy punk pop duo called "The Lure". Starts off well but the story becomes confused and full of itself eventually fizzling out. This Polish production was directed by Agnieszka Smoczynska.

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Milligan on 42nd Street

 

 (imdb)

FLESHPOT ON 42nd STREET-1973-Ha! This terrible Andy Milligan movie is about a dumb whore and her various tricks. It almost seems like like a sleazy documentary. The cast is made up almost exclusively of hardcore porno actors including Laura Cannon, Harry Reems and Fred Lincoln. Neil Flanagan, Guru in Milligan's GURU THE MAD MONK, is a weird homo in a bad wig. It's really terribly made but the performances aren't bad and there's great scenes of the old 42nd street. If you like crappy '70's porno with grotesque '70's sex scenes then this is for you. Hooker Dusty (Laura Cannon) shacks up with transvestite Cherry (Flanagan) but changes her plans when she meets Bob (Harry Reems) but things don't work out as she plans and she returns to doing tricks.

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Hide The Baby!

 

 (imdb)

THE GREEN EYED BLONDE-1957-This kind of female JD story takes place at the "Martha Washington School For Girls" where newcomer Betsy Able (Linda Plowman), a young girl who had a child out of wedlock, is being admitted just when the old crone head of the place Mrs. Nichols (Jean Inness) is welcoming new counselor Miss Maggie Williams (Sally Brophy). Nichols refers to Betsy as a "little criminal" when Betsy says she hates old people. Later Betsy is introduced to her new inmates: Green Eyes (Susan Oliver), Trixie (Tommie Moore), Ouisle (Beverly Long) and Joyce (Carla Merey). There's also another character named Cuckoo (Norma Jean Nilsson) who tries to kill herself at dinner. Miss Williams tries her best to integrate herself with the girls. At night Green Eyes meets with her boyfriend Cliff (Ray Foster) by a chain link fence. 

On visiting day Betsy's hateful mother (who has custody of Betsy's baby) questions Betsy about the father's identity. Since mom and her ineffectual boyfriend Ed leave the baby in their car unattended, Cuckoo steals it and brings it back to the dormitory. The girls decide to take care of the baby even though Betsy wants nothing to do with it. They use a book to get info and steal sheets for diapers. They call him Buddy. They sing very loudly to hide the baby's crying. Eventually Betsy comes to care for her son. Unfortunately Miss Williams discovers their secret. The girls implore her to wait until after Christmas and she agrees. More unfortunately the baby is discovered and taken away. The girls revolt and wreck the place. Many of them try to escape but the police intervene and Cuckoo dies. After Trixie is picked up by her father, Green Eyes runs away with Cliff ("See ya in the cemetery"). On Christmas they open presents for Buddy and learn Green Eyes & Cliff are killed in a robbery. The End.

 Juanita Moore and Stafford Repp have small roles. Passed over today GREEN EYES (aka THE GREEN EYED BLONDE) was written and co-produced by Sally Stubblefield, a pseudonym (front) for the blacklisted Dalton Trumbo. Director Bernard Girard worked mostly in TV around this time with an occasional feature film. Years later he directed THE MAD ROOM.

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