The Last Whistle

 

 (imdb)

THE RETURN OF THE WHISTLER-1948-A man (Michael Duane) and woman (Lenore Aubert) want to get married but the minister is away. Meanwhile someone sabotages their car. Since this is the 1940's they can't stay together in one room. The next day he goes to her room and she's disappeared. A private eye (Richard Lane)) tries to help him and flashbacks reveal how the two lovers met. Double crosses, evil in-laws and an inheritance all figure in the wild plot. Uncredited roles go to Trevor Bardette, Ann Doran, Wilton Graf and Olin Howland. 

This last installment into the series was directed by D. Ross Lederman. 

Lead actress Lenore Aubert was in ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN the same year.

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Secret Whistler

 

 (imdb)

THE SECRET OF THE WHISTLER-1946-After the usual intro, a woman (Mary Currier) buys a headstone for herself (from Byron Foulger). Her husband Ralph Harrison (Richard Dix) is called away from a party he's throwing because his wife, Edith has a heart attack. He meets a model Kay (Leslie Brooks) and begins to romance her while waiting for his wife to die. Somehow, his wife gets better and overhears Harrison telling Kay how much he loves her. Edith throws him out but he returns at night and switches her meds with poison. She dies and he marries Kay. Everyone suspects him of murder but Kay finds the old wife's diary that has an entry that seems to clear Ralph. Both wind up dead and the Whistler keeps whistling. John Hamilton and Arthur Space have uncredited roles. 

This is another weird entry into the series (the sixth installment), this time directed by George Sherman (THE LADY AND THE MONSTER (1944)). Star Dix would make one more film in the series, which be his last film appearance as he died in 1949 at age 56. His death may have been hastened by alcoholism.

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Still Whistling

 

 (imdb)

THE POWER OF THE WHISTLER-1945-In this strange drama, Richard Dix is a man who suffers a blow to the head and can't remember his name or the purpose of an important mission he knows he has to perform. Jean Lang (Janis Carter)) reads his fortune in a Greenwich village cafe and deduces he's in danger. She and her sister (Jeff Donnell) decide to help him from clues he has on him. (a lighter, a Canadian dollar, a bakery slip and a doctor's prescription). It all comes together when it's discovered he's an escaped lunatic out for revenge. John Abbott is a book shop owner and I. Stanford Jolley, Kenneth MacDonald, Nina Mae McKinney, Eddie Parker and Frank Scannell have small roles. 

Screenwriter Aubrey Wisberg later wrote and produced THE MAN FROM PLANET X (1951) and wrote THE NEANDERTHAL MAN in 1953. Prolific low-budget film director Lew Landers made this sometimes eerie film noir mystery. It's the third in the series.

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The First Whistler

 

 (imdb)

THE WHISTLER-(1944)-In the first of the series, Earl Conrad (Richard Dix) is a businessman who blames himself for the death of his wife and decides to have a hit man knock him off. Later, when it appears his wife is still alive, Conrad changes his mind and doesn't want to die. His journey takes many twists. A psychotic hit man (J.Carroll Nash in standout performance) tries to scare him to death. Conrad almost winds up as a stowaway on a ship bound for Japan. 

Nice little film noir directed by William Castle. Also with Gloria Stuart, Byron Foulger as a flophouse attendant, William Bennidict as a mute delivery boy, Trevor Bardette, Ralph Dunn and George Lloyd. It's based on a CBS radio show created by J. Donald Wilson. This was the first of 8 Whistler films produced by Columbia Pictures. Richard Dix was the star of the first 7. The titular character is the narrator (Otto Forrest). 

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Alfred as a Scientist

 

 (imdb)

ISLAND OF LOST WOMEN-1959-Two pilots Mark Bradley (Jeff Richards) and Joe Walker (John Smith) have plane trouble enroute to Melbourne and are forced to land near a mysterious island where just before they crash a disembodied voice tells them to stay away. They are greeted by Dr. Paul Lujahn (Alan Napier; later Alfred in the Batman TV series) and his three beautiful daughters: Mercuria (June Blair), Venus (Venetia Stevenson) and Urana (Diane Jergens). They live in a cave with furniture, books and lighting. Lujahn was one of the scientists who help create the A-bomb and decided to get away from reality with his wife and kids. 

Unfortunately, his wife died. He's now invented a newer, quicker way to enrich uranium. Bradley wants to blab the doc's story to the whole world so Lujahn destroys their plane with a flame thrower pistol so they can't leave. The two older sisters help the guys build a raft. They become sweet on each other and Walker kills a shark. Things go awry when a fire breaks out and Walker is locked in a nearby room. Lujahn gets conked on the head but Walker is rescued just before a complete meltdown of the island. Needless to say, the atomic explosion gets the world's attention and they are saved. 

Crazy low-budget sci-fi romance from director Frank Tuttle (THIS GUN FOR HIRE (1942)) who's career went back to silent movies. He was blacklisted in the late '40's and struggled to get work, This was his last movie.

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Undercover

 

 (imdb)

BORDERLINE-1950-A woman cop, Madeline Haley (Clare Trevor) goes undercover to infiltrate the dope smuggling operation of Ritchie (Raymond Burr) and Deusik (Don Diamond). She winds up with Ritchie's rival drug runner Johnny (Fred MacMurray). They travel from Mexico to the US falling in love along the way. Surprise! Johnny is an undercover cop too! Roy Roberts is Johnny's gang boss. Morris Ankrum, Gregg Martel, Chris Pin-Martin and Charles Lane are in it too. 

Director William Seiter was more at home with comedy having made DIPLOMANIACS (1933) with Wheeler & Woolsey, SONS OF THE DESERT (1933) with Laurel & Hardy, ROOM SERVICE (1938) with The Marx Brothers and many others.

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Orlof (f)

 

THE AWFUL DR. ORLOF-1962-Jess Franco's famous horror opus about Dr. Orlof (Howard Vernon), a mad doctor in 1912 Paris trying to cure his daughter Melissa's (Diana Lorys) disfigurement. He is assisted by abused blind servant Morpho (Ricardo Valle)) who goes out at night and kidnaps females to fuel his boss's skin transplants. He likes to bite victims on the neck before taking them. Only Orlof's female servant Arne (Perla Christal) shows the guy any sympathy. After some experiments fail, Orlof notices a woman Wanda (also Lorys) who looks very much like his comatose daughter. She's the fiancé of Tanner (Conrado San Martin), the inspector who's investigating the disappearances! 

After Orlof kills Arne accidentally, he kidnaps Wanda (she'd been posing as a hooker) and takes her to his castle. But things go awry for the doc when Morpho discovers Arne's dead body. He kills Orlof and takes the unconscious Wanda for a stroll on top of the castle. Tanner and a drunk (and former suspect) save her. Morpho is killed and somehow Wanda who was up on the castle is suddenly on the ground embracing her husband to be. 

When WPIX in NYC showed this on TV in the early '70's, it was a kind of incoherent mess but since it's been restored, it's a nice mix of dark horror, medical experiments and Morpho! Orlof would return (usually played by Vernon) in several “sequels” by Franco.

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“What's a Vampire?”

 

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DRACULA 3000-2004-In the future when dope is legal and no one believes in God, Captain Abraham Van Helsing (Casper Van Diem) leads a salvage team (which includes Erika Eleniak, Coolio and Tiny Lister). There's also a whiny guy in a wheelchair who's like a cross between Eddie Deezen and Robbie Robertson. They investigate a 50 year old derelict space ship. Coolio turns into one of the worst vampires in vampire film history. Count Dracula is somehow on board. He's from planet Transylvania in the Carpathian solar system. 

Really! I didn't make it up! 

Udo Keir is also in it. 

Written and directed by Darrell Roodt (PREY (2007))

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Argento Againo

 

 (imdb)

TENEBRAE-(UNSANE)-1982-Peter Neal (Anthony Franciosa) is the bestselling author of the horror novel “Tenebrae”. After a shoplifter is killed and pages of the novel are found in her mouth, police suspect the killer is emulating murders in the book. More murders occur and the killer takes photographs of the mutilated victims and sends Neal weird notes. There's a lot of mumbo-jumbo dialogue on the psychology of Neal's writing and if it exploits women (the actual film seems to). A prissy book reviewer (John Steiner) gets an ax in the head. Neal's assistant Anna (Daria Nicolodi) thinks it's Neal's ex-wife. One woman escaping the killer, runs right into his hideout. She finds a lot of evidence but is killed in a long chase scene. Neal, Anna and go-fer Gianni (Christian Borromeo) investigate. Neal's manager, Bullmer (John Saxon) seems a likely suspect but he's killed in broad daylight. After Gianni is killed, the killer's identity is revealed. The killer fakes his death and kills a police detective. He goes after Anna but is impaled. 

This is another interesting psychological “giallo” from writer/director Dario Argento though I thought the outcome was guessable.

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Dreadful Things

 

 (imdb)

SOMETIMES AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS-1971-This is the story of two guys, Paul (Abe Zwick in his only film) and Stanley (Scott Lawrence aka Wayne Crawford in his film debut). Stanley is a pot smoking dullard who killed an old lady. Paul is his accomplice who dresses in drag. They argue a lot like a demented psychotic version of “The Odd Couple”. When Paul brings home a woman and kills her, the film turns negative. Stan hangs out with some locals and two women dance topless until he tries to strangle them. Stanley's friend Hubert (Don Craig), a drug addict comes to live with them. When a pregnant neighbor dies, Stanley cuts her unborn baby out of her. Later they decide to leave the country and hold up in an abandoned movie studio where it's revealed Paul is the one doing all the killing. He stabs Stanley to death, then commits suicide. 

Director Brad Grinter is a police Lieutenant and Thomas Wood (aka Rooney Kerwin; from BLOOD FEAST 1963)) is a cop (and one of the grips). His brother Harry Kerwin was 2^nd unit director. Thomas Casey, who wrote and directed this strange movie, edited MONSTER A GO GO (1965) and wrote the screenplay for FLESH FEAST (1970).

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Not A Gas

 

 (amazon.com)

GASS-S-S-S-1970-A gas accidentally released kills anyone over 25! Coel (Robert Cuff, a very bad actor) is a dumb hippie who with his girlfriend Cilla (Elaine Giftos) roams the country meeting other freaks (portrayed by Ben Vereen, Bud Cort, Cindy Williams, Talia Shire, et. al.). Edgar Allan Poe rides around on a motorcycle and comments on the plot. Country Joe and The Fish make an appearance and provided the soundtrack. 

This was Roger Corman's last directorial effort for AIP and he said the studio cut the last scene where God appears. I'm not sure what the point of this movie is. Some kind of satire, maybe? The acting is terrible. It's been called Corman's most personal film. He should have kept it to himself. Screenwriter George Armitage later directed VIGILANTE FORCE (1976) and GROSSE POINTE BLANK (1997).

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No Fight

 

 (imdb)

LADY STREETFIGHTER-1980-This shit show starts off with a woman being tortured and killed. Then a woman named Linda (producer/screenwriter Renee Harmon) is set up to be a hit and run victim but she escapes. While talking to some asshole we learn the murdered woman was Linda's sister and she wants revenge on a gangster Max Diamond. Meanwhile, an FBI agent, Rick Pollard (Jody McCrea) watches a grotesque strip show featuring Liz Renay! At a party of criminals where men are dressed in togas, Linda walks on Diamond and whips him. Then she and Pollard have an affair. They have a fight on the beach and he knocks her out and a guy she thought was a friend turns out to be a hitman. Mindless junk directed by James Bryan (DON'T GO IN THE WOODS (1981)). He and lead actress Harmon later made THE RETURN OF LADY STREETFIGHTER (1990).

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Sho Shows Them

 

 (imdb)

PRAY FOR DEATH-1985-In Japan, a black clad ninja fights some other ninjas and a guy in a demon mask but it's just a TV show called “The Black Ninja” being watched by the two sons of Japanese businessman Akira Saito (Sho Kosugi) and his American wife. He wants to start his own local business but she wants to move to the US. Saito doesn't seem to know any martial arts and his kids urge him to learn Karate. However, when Saito encounters an old man (actually his adopted father) in a temple, they have a sword fight which disproves Saito's lack of fighting skills. A flashback shows he kind of killed his brother, a red ninja, because he is actually a former ninja himself! No sooner do they get to America and have problems. Sam Greene (Parley Baer) sells them a restaurant in a bad neighborhood. They ran afoul of gangsters looking for a priceless necklace who beat up Greene and kill him in a fire. The kids (Kosugi's real life sons, Kane and Shane) run into older bullies but beat them up. 

The stupid gangsters think Saito has the necklace so they kidnap his son Tomo for a Mafioso boss (Michael Constantine). He has a sadistic henchman named Limehouse (James Booth; also the screenwriter). Saito goes to the police but 2 corrupt officers block his progress. After his wife and other son wind up in the hospital, he invades a mob yacht and beats up a lot of white guys. Stupidly, Limehouse kills Mrs. Saito and Saito prepares for revenge. Even one son gets into the act with a supped-up bike. Saito invades the mob mansion. He cuts them all to ribbons but Limehouse lams it. The finale where Limehouse uses an ax and a chainsaw to try and kill Saito is great. Limehouse's demise literally has him praying for death. If they thought America was violent then, they should be around today! Also with Robert Ito.  

The acting is not so good but action-packed direction by Gordon Hessler (SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN (1970)) saves it. Star Kosugi was already pretty well known for his appearances in ENTER THE NINJA (1981) and its sequels and the short-lived TV series THE MASTER (1984) starring Lee Van Cleef. 

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Bad English Thing

 

 (imdb)

SPELLCASTER-1989-A bunch of dorks win a contest to the remote Diablo Castle for a treasure hunt hosted by skinny English VJ Rex (Richard Blade) and moronic English singer Cassandra Castle (Bunty Bailey). The first victim is a French woman killed by the chair she's sitting in. The drunken singer Castle is terrorized by a bunch of rotting corpses. A fat guy turns into a pig. A suit of armor comes to life. The VJ is killed by a winged monster. A female hunter is eaten by a dog. One woman meets Diablo (Adam Ant)), a sarcastic jerk with a crystal ball. In the end, when the crystal ball is destroyed, everyone comes back to life. Filmed in Rome by director Rafal Zielinski. Really bad

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Camping Massacre

 

 (imdb)

4/20 MASSACRE-2018-Two dweebs are searching for marijuana on government land. They find it but one of them seems to be killed by a monster. After the credits, 5 women go camping for one member's birthday. They are warned by Ranger Rick to stay clear of illegal pot farmers. The group meets the dweeb who didn't get killed before the credits. He gives them his stolen weed and after they leave, the monster disembowels him. Later they meet a redneck hunting rabbits. Later the monster (obviously someone in a costume) puts a lit joint in his eye. 

Meanwhile, the women drink and get high. The first camper to die has her bong shoved through her head. Two more are hacked to death. Of course, the ranger is in league with the monster. Jess, the last survivor and birthday girl, meets the rabbit hunter, now blind and he's killed helping her stab the monster. After she kills the ranger, she smokes a joint while a Rap song plays. 

The director/writer Dylan Reynolds is probably out there right now plotting more shitty movies.

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More Cars

 

 (themoviedatabase)

HOT CARS-1956-Happily married used car salesman Nick (John Bromfield) is fired from his job for being too honest. To support his wife (Carol Shannon) and sickly baby son, he takes a job selling cars for the shady Mr. Markel (Ralph Clanton), working for manager Smiley Ward (Mark Dana; in PHAROAH'S CURSE the next year). Later he meets police detective Davenport (Dabbs Greer) who's investigating the stolen car racket. Ater the delivery of some “hot” cars, Nick realizes he's part of the stolen car ring. 

He quits Markel but when he gets home, he finds his wife in hysterics because their baby is in the hospital. He goes back to Markel and meets head hot car guy Otto (Kurt Katch) and learns “the business”. He almost has to sell a stolen car to Davenport but Smiley helps him out of it. Nick hooks up with Karen Winters (Joi Lansing), then gets involved in Davenport's murder. She could provide him with an alibi but pretends not to know him. Markel decides to do away with Nick and a fist fight on a rollercoaster between Nick and Smiley caps this story. 

his average crime drama was one of the few feature films directed by Don McDougall, a very versatile TV director. Star Broomfield was in CURUCU, BEAST OF THE AMAZON the same year. 

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The Endest, Man

 

 (imdb)

GHOST OF DRAGSTRIP HALLOW-1959-After the great ghost credits opening, a news reporter (Russ Bender) does a story on a teenage hot red club where a band shoots off guns while playing “Geronimo”. Lois Cavendish (Jody Fair; THE BRAIN EATERS (1958)) is a car crazy chick. The club's kind of leader is Stan (Martin Braddock) who informs everyone they are going to be evicted from their clubhouse. Lois has an eccentric aunt (Dorothy Neumann) who plays the flute and has a pet parrot. Rival hot rodder Tony (Jack Ging) makes trouble before they all go to the aunt's old haunted house. Weird things happen and the shadow of a familiar monster hangs around. It's a male version of the She-Creature! The gang have a costume party and a guy named Jimmie Maddin sings a song called “Tongue Tied”. A guy named Dave shows off his talking car. It turns out the monster is real life SFX creator Paul Blaisdell (in the last film he ever worked on) who's mad because he wasn't in THE HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM! 

But the rock and roll music drives out a real ghost. 

Sometimes known as the film that ushered out the '50's teenage horror/rock and roll boom, it was directed by William Hole (THE DEVIL'S PARTNER (1961) and written by AIP veteran Lou Rusoff. The uncredited singer Maddin was more well known as a nightclub owner than for the few singles he released in the late 1950's.

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More Rods

 (imdb)

HOT ROAD GANG-1958-Hep cat hot rodders drag right down Main Street. College student John Abernathy (John Ashley) rehearses with his combo in a place owned by landlord Al (Dub Taylor). After almost running down a guy, John sings “Hit and Run Lover”. He's also the heir to his grandfather's fortune and has two eccentric aunts (Dorothy Neumann and Helen Spring). His lawyer sets him up with Lois (Jody Fair; starred in THE GHOST OF DRAGSTRIP HOLLOW the next year), the daughter of the lawyer's new partner (Doodles Weaver). John takes Lois to his gang's hangout where they meet John's girlfriend (Maureen Arthur) and he has a fight with a rival. Later Lois introduces John to Gene Vincent (himself) who invites him on his TV show. John wears a disguise and becomes a big sensation but is framed for burglary and arrested by a tough cop (Russ Bender). The real burglars try to break up the gang's sock hop and things get a little nutty. John beats down the real bad guy in the end. 

This AIP teen hot rod drama was coming near the end of its genre. The executive producer was silent screen star Buddy Rogers. Co-producer and screenwriter Lou Rusoff wrote many AIP productions. This was one of the last features directed by Lew Landers who years before (under the name Louis Friedlander) directed THE RAVEN (1935) with Karloff and Lugosi. After this he did mostly TV work and died in 1962. Music is by Ronald Stein and the cinematographer was Floyd Crosby.

 (imdb)

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Hot Rods

 (imdb)

HOT ROD-1950-Two brothers convince their dad to sponsor a racetrack in their town to stop teenagers from illegally drag racing. Dave (James “Jimmy” Lydon) is the bicycle rider brother who wants to work for a newspaper and Joe (Myron Healy) is a cop. Their father is a judge (Art Baker, later a host of TV's “You Asked For It”). Dave has a whiny friend named Swifty (Gil Stratton). When Dave gets a car, showoff hot rodder Jack (Tommy Bond from “Our Gang” shorts) makes him eat dust and embarrass him in front of Jane (Gloria Winters), a girl he's sweet on. He and Swifty try to supe up his car but Jack steals the car and Dave is charged with a hit and run accident. Before anything really bad can happen, Jack admits he did it. Dave and Swifty almost get into more trouble chasing a crook but then help capture him. In the end, the town teens get their legal racetrack and Dave gets Jane. 

This low budget Monogram production was directed by Lewis D. Collins who made many westerns around this time. Former child actor Lydon had been in Edgar Ulmer's STRANGE ILLUSION in 1945. He later had parts in LIFE WITH FATHER (1947) and JOAN OF ARC (1948). 

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Bill Dee

 (imdb)

THE TAKE-1974-Terry Sneed (Billy Dee Williams) is a San Franciso police Lieutenant who goes to New Mexico to help a police commissioner (Eddie Albert) but takes money from Manso (Vic Morrow), a local gangster with a heart condition. Police captain Dolek (Albert Salmi) is also crooked. They investigate “small time punk” Danny James (Frankie Avalon). He breaks down and cries but helps them track shipments of “H”. After he pisses off Manso, Sneed is beaten up but he's nursed back to health by his girlfriend Nancy (Tracy Reed). Meanwhile, a real estate developer Oscar (Sorrell Brooke) hangs around. Later, Sneed teams with a young cop Tall Bear (A Martinez) to get back at Manso. Also with John Chandler (MAD DOG COLL (1961) and Kathleen Hughes (IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE (1953). Vic Perrin is heard on a radio. 

This is a standard crime drama based on a British novel filmed in the US by English director Robert Hartford-Davis (CORRUPTION (1968) who had made BLACK GUNN in 1972. 

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It Happened in Sweden

 

 (imdb)

REPTILICUS-1961-In Copenhagen, some scientists discover a frozen piece of a prehistoric dinosaur. When one of them falls asleep leaving the freezer door open, the piece thaws. The guys put it in some kind of incubator to keep it alive. Grouchy American General Mark Grayson (Carl Ottosen) goes on a tour of the city with some comedic UNESCO scientist. Reptilicus grows and kills the scientists and some cows. 

It could be the worst monster in giant monster history. An obvious puppet, it's scaly and slimy and shoots green slime (described as “burning acid slime”). One victim is a cut out! Although it was usually said that the US version of REPTILICUS was just a dubbed version with a few added scenes, there were actually two separate films made. One for Danish audiences directed by Poul Bang and the other for US moviegoers directed by Sid Pink (JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET).

There was a model too!

 (thedoctorsmodelmansion)

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Hey, Boris!

 

 (imdb)

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE KILLER, BORIS KARLOFF-1949-A lawyer named Strickland is murdered. The chief suspect is bellhop Freddy (Lou) who's helped out by hotel detective Casey (Bud) after he's fired by his manager Melton (Alan Mowbray). Inspector Wellman (James Flavin) has plenty of other suspects: suspected husband poisoner Angela (Lenore Aubert), Swami Talpur (Boris Karloff) and Hanley Brooks (Roland Winters). The funniest part is Talpur trying to hypnotize Freddy into committing suicide and when Freddy dresses as a maid (he and Casey have to hide some dead bodies) and he is chatted up by the night watchman (Percy Helton). Also with Mikel Conrad and a bit by Bobby Barber. 

Director Charles Barton made 9 movies with Abbott & Costello including perhaps their best one A & C MEET FRANKENSTEIN (also featuring Lenore Aubert) in 1948. Ironically, he would also direct the team's final film together DANCE WITH ME, HENRY in 1956, usually considered one of their worst. In the '30's he was assistant director of The Marx Brothers movies MONKEY BUSINESS and HORSE FEATHERS.

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A Big Beast

 

 (imdb)

THE BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN-1956-If you are looking for a good giant monster flick, you might be disappointed. Nearly half of this movie is a love triangle between Mexico based American rancher Jim (Guy Madison), local jealous trouble making rancher Enrique (Eduardo Noriega) and his fiancée Sarita (Patricia Medina) under the shadow of the haunted Hollow Mountain. Town big shot Don Pedro (Julio Villarreal) tries to smooth things over but is no help. 

After comical drunk Pancho (Garcia Pena) disappears into the mountain, a giant (badly animated) dinosaur shows up to munch cattle and start a stampede just as Sarita goes looking for Pancho's son, Panchito (Mario Navarro; also a pest in THE BLACK SCORPION the next year). Jim and his partner Felipe (Carlos Rivas; later in THEY SAVED HITLER'S BRAIN (1968)) try to stop the stampede from heading to town where a huge wedding festival is taking place. They are unsuccessful but Enrique's treachery is revealed. Sarita and Panchito encounter the monster while looking for dad. It's Jim vs. Dyno in the finale with Jim only using a pistol and knife to stave off the prehistoric attack when he and Enrique are trapped in a cave. After Enrique becomes dyno meat, Jim lures the dino into quicksand to save the day. The rear projection effects are terrible. 

Two directors are credited, American Edward Nassour and Mexican Ismael Rodriguez. It was the first full length giant dinosaur movie filmed in color (Toho's RODAN would be second). The legendary Willis O'Brien is credited as one of the writers but the sfx are by someone else. O'Brien worked on a similar story for several years after until his death. It was eventually filmed as THE VALLEY OF THE GWANGI.

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RIP Herschell Gordon Lewis

 

 (imdb)

THE UH-OH SHOW-2009-Herschell Gordon Lewis (who appears telling gory stories to some kids) kind of updated his original “gore” movies (like THE WIZARD OF GORE) with his black comedy that's not very good. 

A late-night cable station called “The Uh-Oh Show” offers huge prizes to contestants who can answer questions correctly. However, if they answer incorrectly, a wheel is spun and a part of their body is hacked off. It features loud obnoxious characters, not so great acting and of course disgusting but not very convincing sfx. 

It's supposed to be a comedy I guess but the laughs are few and far between. This was writer/director Lewis' last feature film (he passed away in 2016 at age 90). Troma's Lloyd Kaufman has a small role as a pimp.

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Gargoyle Good Time

 

 (imdb)

GARGOYLES-1972-Anthropologist Mercer Bolley (Cornell Wilde) and his daughter Diana (Jennifer Salt) run afoul of an ancient race of gargoyles. An old geezer (Woody Chamblis) tells them a story and shows them a weird skeleton just before his shack is set ablaze and he burns to death. Bolley rescues a skull and he and Diana hightail it to a sleazy hotel run by Mrs. Parks (Grayson Hall). Later 2 gargoyles break in and steal the skull. While fleeing, one is killed. Still the sheriff (Warren Stevens) blames everything on a motorcycle gang and it's leader (Scott Glenn). The gargoyle leader (Bernie Casey with the dubbed voice of Vic Perrin) kidnaps Diana. The bikers team up with local authorities to hunt the monsters who want to wipe out mankind and take over. They have a cave full of eggs and the leader takes a shine to Diana. Though mankind is eventually saved, the leader gets away. 

Stan Winston did some work on the gargoyles in this underrated horror tale that seems to have gained a cult following in recent years. It's certainly one of the best TV horror movies ever! Director Bill Norton (sometimes known as BWL Norton) made it between CISCO PIKE and MORE AMERICAN GRAFFITI. His next film was 1985's BABY: SECRET OF THE LOST LEGEND. He then worked mostly in television.

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 (public domain pictures)

   

Boy, Oh, Boy

 

 (themoviedatabase)

THE BOY-2016-Greta (Lauren Cohan), an American nanny is hired by an elderly couple to take care of their son in a remote English manor. To her shock and surprise, their son, Brahms is a doll! After a while the “parents” go on vacation leaving Greta alone with the spooky kid doll. During a thunderstorm, she has a bad dream and hears noises and Brahm's cries (it's really a drip in the ceiling). From Malcolm (Rupert Evans), the guy who delivers the groceries, she learns that the real Brahms was killed in a fire. Before going on a date with Malcolm, Greta gets locked in the attic, then thinks she sees someone and faints (it's just a jacket on a hanger). 

Though it seems like Brahms may be alive, Greta gets some weird phone calls which make it seem as though it's a plot to make her lose her mind. Later after the old couple commit suicide, Greta begins to treat Brahms like a real kid. Somehow, her psychotic boyfriend Cole (Ben Robson) finds her and destroys the doll. Then a life size Brahms (James Russell) shows up. Apparently, he's been living there and spying on her. After Cole is killed and she thinks Malcolm is dead, she tries to be nice and stabs Brahms. She and Malcolm escape and someone is shown putting the doll back together. 

Director William Brent Bell (THE DEVIL INSIDE (2012) followed this with a sequel BRAHMS: THE BOY II in 2020.

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PS-Once again I prove how topsy-turvey this blog is as I reviewed the sequel first a few years ago! 

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/4609335177952045780/5403532682911172637

Mercy!

 (imdb)

ALMOST MERCY-2015-This may be a “black comedy” but it's really just a sick excuse for some jerk (probably with a mother fixation) to make a crap horror movie. It's about a teenager named Emily (Danielle Guldin) who becomes a sociopath killer. The acting and direction both suck. Kane Hodder is a gym teacher, Bill Moseley is a pastor and pro wrestler Tommy Dreamer is in it too. 

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Five?

 

 (imdb)

FIVE SUPERFIGHTERS-1979-A dude in black beats up the teacher and students of a martial arts school. He says their Kung-Fu is “lousy”. 3 students vow revenge on the guy but split up almost immediately having a quarrel over who should head north. Meanwhile, a young widow beats up the idiotic Mr. Ma and his two thugs when they harass her. “Hey, that woman's Kung-Fu is pretty good”. Ting Tien, the student who goes north meets and gets beaten up by her, then helps her grind bean curd. Chi, the second student gets in trouble for peeing on a scarecrow (a gambler was hiding in it). He starts gambling but when the gambler's wife breaks up the game, he has to fight everyone. He then gets beat up by a drunk guy who walks funny but becomes his student. The third dummy meets a fisherman, gets beat up then becomes his assistant. While all this is going on, their downtrodden master who thinks the trio has abandoned him, meets Mr. Fu. Tien is a real jerk. Even the widow's blind father gets the best of him. When the trio finally meet again they give the guy in black a good fight but their master's drunken sword technique saves the day.

 Only in a Run Run Shaw production could 4 guys beat up one guy and the fight still be fair. Not sure why the title mentions 5. Director Mar Lo provides good fights and action in this underrated feature.

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Snowblood

 

 (imdb)

LADY SNOWBLOOD-1973-Yuki Kashimi (Mieko Kaji), a kimono wearing young woman with a parasol and a sword seeks revenge on the scum who killed her father and brother and raped her mother. She's trained by a hard nosed priest. A reporter, Asiho (Toshio Kurosawa), writes a story about her, hoping to flush out one of the killers. It also turns out another killer faked his death. 

Although, seemingly mortally wounded from her final battle, she's stabbed by the daughter of one of the killers. She seems to die but later opens her eyes. 

Excellent violent revenge tale well executed by director Toshiya Fujita. Mieko Kaji returned in LADY SNOWBLOOD 2: LOVE SONG OF VENGEANCE in 1974 (also directed by Fujita).

Domo Arigato for reading!

RIP/Mesa Mess

RIP:

https://www.tokyoweekender.com/japan-life/news-and-opinion/kenji-ohba-dies-at-72/

 (imdb)

MESA OF LOST WOMEN-1953-While a narrator (Lyle Talbot) talks about “foolish bipeds”, in Mexico oil surveyor Frank (John Martin) and his assistant Mulcahey (Richard Travis) find two people wandering aimlessly in “the desert of death”. He takes them to an American “Doc” Tucker (Allan Nixon) at the oil plant. The guy, who's a pilot named Grant Phillips (Robert Knapp), rants about “super bugs” and Dr. Aranya, which upsets Mexican guide Pepe (Chris Pin-Martin in his last role). Phillips then relates his story but is interrupted by the narrator who tells the story of Dr. Masterson (Harmon Stevens), who goes all by himself in suit and tie to visit Dr. Aranya's desert lair. Aranya (a very skinny Jackie Coogan with goggle glasses and a wart) uses some kind of tarantula hormone to make “super female spiders with a thinking and reasoning brain that one day might rule the world!”. Masterson doesn't go for the doctor's experiments and winds up in a Mexican asylum but he escapes and goes to a local dive, looking very deranged and acting strange after meeting businessman Jan (Nico Lek) and his fiancé, Doreen (Paula/Mary Hill). 

Somehow one of the spider women, Tarantella (Tandra Quinn; in THE NEANDERTHAL MAN the same year) is a dancer there. Phillips also shows up followed by Masterson's male nurse George (usual ape impersonator George Barrows). While Tarantella is performing, Masterson shoots her. She seems to die. Masterson then forces Phillips to fly everyone, including Jan's manservant Wong (Samuel Wu), to Aranya's hideout. They don't make it, crashing in a nearby forest (?) where the insect women and 2 dwarves (John George and Angelo Rossitto) hang around watching the group. After George is killed, it's revealed Woo is working for Aranya but when he makes his report, the mad scientist has him killed. After Jan is killed by a giant spider, the remaining passengers are taken to Aranya who revivies Masterson to his normal self. Before the future Uncle Fester can do anymore harm, Masterson concocts an explosive to destroy all the heinous goings on. Only Phillips and Doreen (who earlier declare their love) escape. But some of the women are still around... 

MESA OF LOST WOMAN began production in 1951 by one Herbert Trevos. Either the movie was never finished, or the finished product was so bad it never saw the light of day. Either way, a year or so later, Ron Ormond (who was making low budget westerns with Lash LaRue at the time) either bought the film or was hired to “do something with it”. Apparently, the characters of Aranya and his spider babes was added footage. 

Original director Trevos was quite a mystery man at one time. So much so, that some came to believe MESA may have actually been directed by Ed Wood Jr. since there are several “Wood connections”, ie: narrator Talbot, Dolores Fuller and Mona McKinnon are 2 of the spider women) but in recent times, thanks to a letter from his own son, it seems Trevos was a real person who had worked for ADGA in Germany and the US. This was his only effort. The weird musical interludes were written by Hoyt Curtin who later wrote many famous cartoon themes like “The Flintstones”, “The Jetsons”, “Huckleberry Hound” and “Johnny Quest”. His music for MESA wound up a year later in Ed Wood's JAILBAIT! Screenwriter Orville Hampton (THE FOUR SKULLS OF JONATHAN DRAKE (1959)) is said to have been a co-writer (with Trevos) but is only credited as “dialogue supervisor”. 

Everyone should see this fiasco at least once because seeing is believing!

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Holy Bananas! It's A Girl's Leg!

 

 (imdb)

 COLOR ME BLOOD RED-1965-Frustrated painter Adam Sorg (Don Joseph aka Gordon Oas-Helm) insults a pompous art critic and has contempt for his fans. He's a kind of a jerk who doesn't think much of the gallery owner who exhibits Sorg's hideous paintings. When his girlfriend cuts herself and bleeds on his canvas, he finds just the right shade of red he was looking for. She won't let him use anymore blood, so he cuts himself and paints with his own blood. This weakens him considerably so to finish his painting he kills his girlfriend and uses her hemoglobin. Later the art critic praises the new painting but Sorg refuses to sell it. “I would not like to be that man's psychoanalyst” quips the critic. Back home, he kills a man and woman and uses her blood to create a new masterpiece. 4 dope smoking young people go for a swim near Sorg's house. He asks one of the women to model for him and she goes at night to see him. He ties her up and plans to kill her but her friends arrive and Sorg is shot in the face. 

Sometimes referred to as the last of director Hershell Gordon Lewis' “Blood Trilogy”, this black comedy is pretty funny and the character of artist Sorg is a good psycho. It features lots of blood and bad acting. MONSTER A GO GO was released the same year and of course compared to that COLOR ME BLOOD RED seems like a big-budgeted Hollywood production. 

Lewis' next horror film would be TASTE OF BLOOD in 1967. Star Oas-Helm many years later played Manford, the butler on “The New Monkees” reboot TV flop!

 (imdb)

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It Happened Twice?

 

DEADTIME STORIES-VOL. 1-2009-Cheap anthology hosted by George Romero (!).

“The Valley of the Shadows”: A woman leads an expedition into the jungle to find her missing husband. The party is terrorized and killed off by a mysterious head-hunting savage. Guess who? Written and directed by Jeff Monahan, an actor who was in later Romero features.

“Wet”: An alcoholic finds a hand on the beach. A jerky antique dealer (Nick Mancuso) tells him it's the hand of a vicious mermaid he chopped up. The alky brings her back to life and she kills him and the antique dealer or something like that.. Directed by Michael Fischa (MY MOM'S A WEREWOLF (1989))

“House Call”: A mother tells her doctor about her son who's obviously some kind of vampire. Directed by Tom Savini.

VOL. 2

“The Gorge”: 3 spelunkers get trapped in a cave and resort to cannibalism. Directed by Matt Walsh, who was usually a sound engineer.

“On Sabbath Hill”: An arrogant college teacher impregnates a student who's driven to suicide. Her ghost comes back to haunt him or is it in his mind? Probably the best of the lot. Directed by Jeff Monahan.

“Dust”: A security guard gives an untested drug (made of dust from Mars) to his dying wife. It cures her...for a while. This one makes no sense. Directed by Michael Fischa.

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They're Not Scaring Anybody

 

SCARECROWS-1988-A bunch of dumb bank robbers in a hijacked plane go to a cornfield to get their hidden loot. One of them parachutes out planning on taking the 3 million for himself. The others land the plane and go looking for him. He's killed by a scarecrow, then brought back to life and beats up some of his partners until they decapitate him. Scarecrows seem to be running around the cornfield, resurrecting dead people and borrowing their limbs. 

Sound good? It actually sucks. 

The only actor (?) I knew in it was Ted Vernon, the little bald guy from that Florida wrestling movie HAMMERHEAD JONES (1986). Co-written, produced and directed by William Wesley in Florida. Cinematographer Peter Deming had already shot EVIL DEAD 2 (1987) and went on to work with David Lynch and do many high-profile movies like the “Austin Power” series.

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Another Time

 

 (imdb)

MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED-2010-Great documentary about exploitation film making in the Philippines in the 1970's. It covers women in prison, blaxploitation, the Blood Island films, collaborations with Hemisphere and New World companies. Plus interviews with John Ashley, Cirio Santiago, Bobby Suraz, Roger Corman, Joe Dante, Jack Hill, Chris Mitchum, Sid Haig, Gloria Hendry, Marlene Clarke, Eddie Garcia, Eddie Romero, Weng Weng and many more. 

Director/co-writer Mark Hartley (from Austraila) made many other documentaries and music videos before making the feature film PATRICK: EVIL AWAKES (2007).

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Magic and Wonder at Lincoln Center

 

Palance in Charge

 

 

WARRIORS 5-1962-An American paratrooper (Jack Palance) teams up with 5 Italian soldiers (including Venantino Venantini) and a hooker (Giovanna Ralli) to blow up a bridge to slow down the German army's advance right after Italy has surrendered during WW2. 

This slow-moving Italian production, directed Leopoldo Savona, was presented by AIP in the US. Co-star Venantini years later was in several infamous Italian zombie movies. Star Palance was in BARABBAS the year before and would star in Jean Luc Godard's CONTEMPT the next and have his own short lived TV series “The Greatest Show On Earth”.

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