Off Topic?

Happy 4th of July!!!

Quotes from Professor Backwards (1910-1976)-Courtesy of Wikipedia:

"I had a brand-new Mercury. I loaned it to my brother last week. I said, 'Treat it as if it was your own.' He sold it."

"I was walking in Manhattan the other day and a guy ran up to me and said, 'How do I get to the nearest hospital?' I told him, 'Just walk across Park Avenue with your eyes closed.'"

"I went up to the salesgirl. I said, 'I'd like to see something cheap in a man's suit.' She said, 'The mirror's on the left.'"

"What gets me is that estimated tax return. You have to guess how much you're gonna make. You have to fill it out, fix it up, sign it, send it in. I sent mine in last week. I didn't sign it. If I have to guess how much I'm gonna make, let them guess who sent it."

"You know what a stewardess is. That's a girl who asks you what you want, then straps you in the seat so you can't get it."  

Thanks for reading!