Night Waitress

NIGHT WAITRESS-1936-Helen Roberts (English actress Margot Grahame) is a waitress on probation. She gets involved with schooner operator Martin Rhodes (Gordon Jones, the future Green Hornet) after he gets mixed up with some “secret cargo”. After some misunderstandings and a quick chase and fight (the whole thing is less than an hour!) Rhodes discovers the “cargo” is an armored car filled with money lying underwater. 

Marc Lawrence and (un-billed) Anthony Quinn are two gangsters after both of them. Western star Don “Red” Barry is a murder victim. Comedian Billy Gilbert is a bar owner. 

Director Lew Landers had previously directed the Boris Karloff/Bela Lugosi horror story THE RAVEN under his real name Louis Friedlander. He went on to direct (as Landers) many B-movies including THE BOOGIE MAN WILL GET YOU (with Karloff) and THE RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE (with Lugosi).

Star Margot Grahame was England's highest paid actress before she came to America to co-star in THE INFORMER and THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1935 version).  

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Nightmare, man

NIGHTMARE MAN-2006-Ellen (Blythe Metz) sends away for a fertility mask because she and her husband (Luciano Szafir, he kind of talks like THE ROOM's Tommy Wiseau) are having “intimacy” problems. She has a reoccurring dream about the Nightmare Man, a devilish looking guy with horns. While they are on their way to “a clinic” their car runs out of gas. Hubby decides to go back to a gas station for help, leaving Ellen alone. After a false scare or two she is terrorized by a hooded killer with a knife who looks a lot like her worst nightmare. 

While she is being pursued in the woods (she has a couple of narrow escapes), two couples play Truth or Dare. When Ellen finally reaches the cabin, they call her husband who tells them she's crazy and there is no killer. It's all in her mind. This proves to be the wrong info. The killer quickly dispatches three of the young people leaving the fourth named Mia (Tiffany Shepis) to fend for herself. Of course it's all a plot by her husband who's hired a guy to kill her. 

Surprisingly Ellen turns into an EXORCIST inspired demon and takes revenge. 

When it seems like she's killed the demon Mia is raped by the evil spirit and tells the late arriving police “it's inside of me”. 

Writer/Director Rolf Kanefsky made his film debut in 1991 with THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE, a horror-comedy which part of this resembles (except this isn't suppose to be funny) but takes a lot from EVIL DEAD. 

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All About...???

ALL ABOUT EVIL-2010-This dumb comedy gore-fest begins with a little girl singing in front of her school when she pees herself and is electrocuted while her dad plays the piano and her mother laughs hysterically. Later a stupid woman named Deborah Tennis (Natasha Lyonne from the AMERICAN PIE films) runs a movie theater she inherited from her father. She rants to a librarian (John Waters' veteran Mink Stole) about her father. When her mother informs Deborah that she is going to sell the theater Deborah kills her. The killing is caught on security cameras and accidentally shown to the horror movie loving audience who of course think it's just a movie. Deborah decides to make more movies and goes around killing innocent people with the help of a moronic old projectionist, a homeless maniac and psychotic twin sisters. A horror film dork named Steven (Thomas Dekker) kind of falls for Deborah but he becomes the chief suspect when Deborah uses his date in one of her movies. His mother is played by Cassandra Peterson (TV's Elvira). 

This crazed and derivative gore film was the creation of Joshua Grannell, an underground drag queen known professionally as Peaches Christ (who appears in the film). It's obviously a take off but I found it rather nasty. Just another excuse to show senseless violence and torture.

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Bela & Mother Reilly

MY SON THE VAMPIRE-1952-English music hall comedian Arthur Lucan made 15 films between 1937-1952 in which he starred in drag as charwoman Old Mother Reilly. He'd probably be completely unknown in the US if it wasn't for this entry (actually the last in the series) which of course featured Bela Lugosi as the villain Van Housen, also known as “The Vampire”, a mad scientist and kidnapper who sleeps in a coffin. For some reason he has a robot sent to him but the addresses get mixed up and store owner Mrs. Reilly (Lucan) gets the mechanical man instead. 

It's a lot of dumb fun though Lucan (who also sings a song) is a little overbearing at times. There's a slapstick inspired fight and the robot terrorizes Mrs. Reilly near the finale, although he/she has nothing to do with catching Van Housen in the end. 

Some may think this was a real comedown for the great Lugosi but he has some good lines and seems to be enjoying himself and remember this same year he made BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA! 

Also known as VAMPIRE OVER LONDON and OLD MOTHER RILEY MEETS THE VAMPIRE the US version featured a song by Allen Sherman over the opening credits where neither Lugosi or Lucan are mentioned as the stars! Director John Gilling later made several horror films including PLAGUE OF THE ZOMBIES and THE REPTILE.

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Dead On Release

D.O.A.: DEAD OR ALIVE-2006-This martial arts fantasy comedy drama is based on a popular video game. It's about a bunch of dorks who are invited to a martial arts tournament (D.O.A.). The three main characters are female: a pro-wrestler (Jamie Pressly), an assassin (Holly Valance) and a princess (Devon Aoki) who's looking for her brother (Collin Chou), said to have been killed in the last D.O.A. The guy who runs the thing is played by Eric Roberts. There's a lot of swordplay and fights using CGI and “Jet Li wires”. (The director Corey Yuen made several movies with Li) Kane Kosugi plays a friend of the princess and pro-wrestler Kevin Nash is in it. There's a lot of smart ass jokes and dialogue and most of the men getting beat up by the women. Robin Shou from the MORTAL KOMBAT movies appears briefly as a pirate. 

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Real or Not Real?

THE MYSTERIOUS MONSTERS-1976-Pseudo-documentary from Sunn Classics. Hands on narrator Peter Graves is your host for this examination of the Bigfoot phenomenon. He visits sites where the creatures have been sighted, interviews eye witnesses and skeptics. Many locals testify to their experiences and other stories and photos are used but (except for the controversial Roger Patterson film) all the Bigfoot action is reenacted. (a note at the end of the credits says: Portions of this film taken from “Land of The Yeti”....) 

There's a rather lengthy segment on The Loch Ness Monster and psychic celebrity Peter Hurkos convinces Graves that Bigfoot is real. Hypnotism and lie detector tests are also used to confirm the legend's existence. It's outdated, far fetched and not as entertaining as other ones of it's genre (or pseudo-genre?).

Although writer/director Robert Guenette (who died in 2008) also made MONSTERS! MYSTERIES OR MYTHS?  and THE WORLD OF PSYCHIC PHENOMENON he also tackled more serious projects like segments of TV's HEROES OF THE GAME, cable's CRAZY ABOUT THE MOVIES and the excellent documentary ORSON WELLES :WHAT WENT WRONG?  

Not very important note: Though always referred to as TMM, the film is actually titled BIGFOOT:THE MYSTERIOUS MONSTER. At least the version I saw was (it was taken from a 16 mm print). 

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6 Movies I Want To See!

DEATH OF A SALESMAN-This is the original movie version made in 1950 with Fredric March in the lead. For some reason it’s never shown anywhere! I’ve read Arthur Miller didn’t like it. Maybe That has something to do with it? Since he died in 2005 I thought someone somewhere will show it! I'm still waiting!


CUBAN REBEL GIRLS-This was Errol Flynn’s last movie. It’s a shoestring production that he wrote and his manager (Barry Mahon) directed. To top it all off his 18-year-old girlfriend is his co-star!

THE LOST ONE-This is the only movie actor Peter Lorre directed. He made it while visiting Germany in the ‘50’s (some say he went there to avoid testifying before HUAC). He plays a former Nazi soldier haunted by his past. In the ‘80’s it played at an Art House Theater in NYC but I missed it!

SHORT CUT TO HELL-This is the only movie James Cagney directed. Not sure what it’s about. He’s not in it.

HUMAN HIGHWAY-A weird movie rocker Neil Young made in the ‘80’s. It features Dennis Hopper and Devo!

THE LAST MOVIE-This was made by Dennis Hopper shortly after he co-starred in EASY RIDER. It got terrible reviews and no one would distribute it even though it wound up winning The Palm D’Or at Cannes that year!

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Hanzo

Sandy screwed everything around here! Another short review!

GOYOKIBA-(HANZO THE RAZOR: SWORD OF JUSTICE)-1972-Shintaro Katsu (in between Zatoichi films) plays Hanzo, a strange law enforcement officer in feudal Japan. He uses self-flagellation to make himself tougher and tortures a female prisoner in this very weird period piece that caught me by surprise although I didn't find it that entertaining. It's violent and crazy and has a modern '70's action soundtrack.

Director Kenji Misumi made several Zatoichi entries and a little later did the notorious LONE WOLF AND CUB series.

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