Who Is This Kid?

 ANNA TO THE INFINITE POWER-1982-Low budget independent kind of sci-fi coming of age story about Anna (Martha Bryne), a self centered child prodigy who discovers some startling secrets about herself after seeing her double on a TV news report. Her mother (Dina Merrill) tells her she is part of a generic experiment to clone a dead scientist Anna Zimmerman. Piano teacher/neighbor Micheala (Donna Mitchell) seems suspicious. Later Anna's put in a special hospital with a bunch of other Anna clones. When the experiment doesn't go so well the project decides to do away with the clones. Her brother Rowan (Mark Patton) tries to save her.

 In the end they meet the evil Dr. Jelliff who heads the project (and wait till you see who plays him). It has a weird surprise ending. Writer/director Robert Wiemer later directed episodes of TV's “Superboy” and “Star Trek:The Next Generation”.

 (imdb)

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Scream And Scream Again (but not for a sequel)

SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN-1970-A guy jogging during the credits collapses after the director's name is shown. In a hospital bed he seems very confused. He's even more shocked to discover one of his legs is missing. Then a spy named Konradz (Marshall Jones) kills his boss with what resembles the Vulcan nerve pinch. Another scene change and Bellaver (Alfred Marks), a snotty uptight police superintendent visits Dr. Browning (Vincent Price) about the murder of his female assistant. Back at the hospital (?), the jogger finds his other leg is now missing. At a disco, Keith (Michael Gothard) meets a young woman (Judy Huxtable,credited as guest star) who he winds up beating, then killing. Meanwhile in some military dictatorship Konradz kills his superior (Peter Cushing) after being reprimanded for torturing a girl.

Back to the jogger who is now missing both his arms. Then we are introduced to Fremont (Christopher Lee), head of some British intelligence department who seems to know what's going on. The police catch Keith sucking blood from a woman's wrist and he knocks them all around and escapes. The police follow and trap him on a mountain which he falls off of but isn't killed. They handcuff him to a car fender but he cuts off his own hand to escape. He goes to Dr. Browning's practice and jumps into a vat of acid. Upon examining the left behind severed hand the coroner Dr. Sorel (Christopher Matthews) comes to the conclusion that it's artificial. At night a nurse steals the hand. While this is going on Fremont seems to be trying to negotiate a plan to get back a captured spy plane pilot. Bellaver is killed by a phony police psychologist. When Sorel's girlfriend (Judy Bloom) is kidnapped, he investigates Browning's complex and finds his lab packed with lots of frozen severed limbs. Browning is making artificial humans (called “composites”). Sorel seems to accept it all until he sees his girlfriend on the operating table. Browning (who it's revealed is also a composite) and Konradz have a showdown. Somehow Browning escapes Konradz's death grip and throws him in the vat of acid. Fremont shows up and makes Browning take an acid bath too then speaks ominously “It's only the beginning”. Apparently Fremont knew everything that was going on and perhaps was setting up a sequel? Maybe not. 

SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN is so disjointed with lack of any coherent plot or even a central character it almost seems like two (or three) separate story lines spun together. Also this was touted as the first screen teaming of Price, Lee and Cushing when in fact except for a few minutes in the finale where Lee and Price finally meet none of them have any scenes together! This meeting was similar to they confrontation in THE OBLONG BOX which was made the year before by SASA's director, the German born Gordon Hessler, a kind of journeyman filmmaker going through a "making Hammer like horror films for AIP" phase, although SCREAM  was produced by Hammer's chief rival at the time Amicus. Hessler would make THE CRY OF THE BANSHEE (also with Price) and a remake of THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE. Later he would do a lot of American TV. The Amen Corner (with Andy Fairweather-Low) do a song. 

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Herc, Bela and Clones!

HERCULES VS. THE MOON MEN-1964-After the success of the two Hercules movies imported from Italy and starring Steve Reeves, many sequels and imitations followed. This originally followed the exploits of Maciste but for US audiences his name was changed to Hercules. He’s played by Alan Steel (real name: Sergio Ciani of Italy). Herc battles alien rock men on “The Mountain of Death”. A local Queen teams up with them but is no match for the legendary strongman. There’s a strange ape like creature with fangs thrown in too.

It’s pretty entertaining despite the bad dubbing and cheesy SFX. Director Giacomo Gentilomo had been making movies (GOLIATH VS. THE VAMPIRES) since 1937 but MOON MEN was his last. He retired from filmmaking and became a painter. The DVD I saw (from Alpha Video) also included a “Hercules Gallery” of posters and lobby cards.



THE PHANTOM CREEPS-1949-This is a highly condensed feature version of the crazy 1939 serial starring Bela Lugosi as the mad genius Dr. Zorka. He invents a lot of gadgets including a huge monster robot with a big head (it was resurrected in the Rob Zombie video “Living Dead Girl”). He also has an invisibility belt, poison gas gun and a new exploding element he discovered. A scene from THE INVISIBLE RAY (in which Lugosi co-starred with Karloff in 1936) is shown when Zorka explains how he found the new element. But if you look closely you’ll see Karloff’s eyes through the mining suit! Bela sneers a lot and really hams it up as he tries to rule the world with only the help of one lone escaped con who betrays him constantly. Even so, Zorka keeps taking him back and trusting him with different jobs! (Maybe the budget didn’t allow for more actors..???) Robert Kent (who also acted as Dennis Bleckly) is the government agent out to stop him who’s nearly killed in every other scene and Bela’s DRACULA co-star Edward Van Sloan plays the leader of some foreign spies who Zorka runs a foul of.



THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS-1965-Gigantic Richard Kiel (soon after EEGAH!) is Dr. Kolos, a visiting alien who’s ordered by his superior (some guy shown only in negative) to clone human beings and conquer the Earth. Doesn’t really seem like a sound plan; guess that’s why it fails. He makes genetic scientist Dr. Dorn-hiemer (George Macready) and his staff his slaves and begins cloning various scientific types to do some sabotage. But he makes a mistake by kind of falling in love with Dorn-hiemer’s blind granddaughter (Dolores Faith) leaving her free will intact. Wiseass govern-ment agent Glen Martin (ROBOT MONSTER’S George Nader) is sent to snoop around the scientist’s mansion while his grouchy boss (LEAVE IT TO BEAVER dad Hugh Beaumont) and girl Friday (Barbara Nicholls) stand around wondering where he is. Later on the clones rebel again Kolos and Nader has to fight a duplicate of himself (who’s missing an arm). When the clones fall down during fights their ceramic like heads break into pieces. Richard Arlen (who had co-starred in the silent film classic WINGS in better days) is another government agent who hangs around and acts grumpy too.

It’s pretty boring but Kiel’s acting is funny especially when he’s “talking tough” with commands like “Do as I say or I will destroy you!”. Fortunately THD was the last movie made by director Hugo Grimaldi (he only made 3 anyway). He was mostly an editor who dubbed foreign films into English (including GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN).

Screenwriter/producer Arthur C. Pierce wrote several low budget films in the early 60’s including DESTINATION INNER SPACE and CYBORG 2087.

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Parts Is Parts

PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR-1979 -Former second Darren Stevens on TV’s BEWITCHED Dick Sargent (who was in Paul Schrader's HARDCORE the same year) runs a camp of young people training to go to a place called America. Surprise! He’s actually in charge a secret cloning project called “Clonus” and is “harvesting” the poor dopes so their vital organs can later be used to save the lives of politicians, millionaires and other evil people.

Meanwhile Presidential shoo-in Jeffery Knight (Peter Graves) campaigns. One camper member and future organ donor named Richard (Tim Donnelley; TV's "Em-ergency") falls in love with the strange looking Lena (Paulette Breen). After he finds a beer can in a nearby river, Richard decides all is not what it seems to be. He runs away and winds up in LA. He steals a bicycle and crashes into the garbage cans of retired reporter Jake Noble (Keenan Wynn). Richard kind of explains his situation (“Can you help me find my other part?”) and Jake argues with his wife (Lurene Tuttle) providing the most entertaining scene in the whole movie!

After viewing a film Richard brought with him Jake takes the clone to meet his DNA counterpart a professor named Richard Knight (Wow! What a coincidence! They are both named Richard!). He lives with his weird looking son Ricky. They seem more like lovers than father and son. Anyway, when Prof. is convinced that Richard is his clone he decides to contact his brother Jeffery who just happens to be running for President. Bad move! Jeff knows all about Clonus and in fact arranged to have the Richard clone made! That’s brotherly love!

The whole thing plays like a typical but slightly more violent ‘70’s TV movie. It’s bad and boring but funny and enter-taining in spots. Director Robert S. Fiveson never made another movie but sued the makers of THE ISLAND in 2005 for plagiarism. I'm not even sure if this was ever released into theaters. I originally saw on cable in the early '80's.

Graves played George Washington in the made for TV THE REBELS the same year as this. Good commercial roles seemed to elude Mission: Impossible's Mr. Phelps until AIRPLANE in 1980 but who can really complain about the guy who played the hero in KILLERS FROM SPACE??

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 later used this and produced one of their funniest episodes…

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Stan and Ollie and Their Clones

JITTERBUGS-20th Century Fox-1943 -This is probably the best post-Hal Roach comedy Laurel & Hardy made. It’s no classic but it has it’s moments and Stan appears in drag through most of the story! It’s ten times better than their previous film AIR RAID WARDENS made earlier in the year for MGM.



The team play two musicians named Laurel & Hardy who run into trouble when they meet up with a con artist (Bob Bailey, who would also play the male lead in the team’s next feature THE DANCING MASTERS) peddling phony gasoline pills. He eventually gets them involved in helping a young singer (Vivian Blaine) swindle some swindlers who stole her $10,000. For a while Ollie impersonates a southern millionaire while Stan pretends to be Blaine’s rich aunt.. A dance routine between the two is a highlight. The musical production numbers might seem unnecessary but were used in an effort to compete with the Abbott & Costello comedies at Universal and to show off the talents of newcomer Blaine (who ended her career in the Charles Band 3-D fiasco PARASITE!). Also in the cast are Lee Patrick as a phony Southern gold digger who has a good routine with Hardy and veteran character actor Douglas Fowley. He and Patrick were later in THE SEVEN FACES OF DR. LAO together! Anthony Caruso has a small un-billed role.

Director Mal St. Arnold made hundreds of comic features and shorts and really helped make this a success. Screen writer Scott Darling did tons of stuff too including FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN, Monogram’s MR. WONG series (with Karloff) and the last Charlie Chan series with Ronald Winters.

THE BIG NOISE-1944-This late period Laurel & Hardy comedy from Fox isn't very good. The team plays a pair of phony detectives who are hired by an inventor (Arthur Space) to guard the super bomb he’s invented. Little Bobby Blake (the future TV star and murder suspect) is the little brat who causes much of the trouble. Director Mal St. Clair helmed many of the team’s later work, which with one or two exceptions is pretty terrible.



NOTHING BUT TROUBLE-1944-Slight Laurel & Hardy comedy with Stan & Ollie as an unemployed butler and cook who get involved with a young runaway who is actually the king of some foreign country. His evil Uncle wants him to “meet with an accident” so he can be in charge. There are some amusing parts but it’s sad to see the great comedy team being wasted in such a minor storyline. Character actor Mary Boland plays her usual ditzy socialite.


Laurel & Hardy would make only two more movies after this. They did have a successful tour of England however before making their last disastrous outing ATOLL K. Ironically director Sam Taylor would make only one more movie after this. He had written many silent films (somehow that doesn’t sound right…) including Harold Lloyd’s classic SAFETY FIRST. Co-scripter Roy Golden (also doing his last work) had written THE BIG STORE for The Marx Brothers(arguably their weakest and technically their last as a team) in 1941.



THE ALL NEW ADVENTURES OF LAUREL & HARDY: FOR LOVE OR MUMMY- Mummy Productions-1998-Although this is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, it can serve as a lesson for the families of famous people to retain the rights on the likenesses of their well known relatives. Two stupid L & H clones (Bronson Pichot and Garland Sairtain) become involved with a living mummy. As impersonators they suck big time. The story is idiotic and full of unfunny gags. The premise (of a mummy coming back to life and terrorizing a professor and his daughter) doesn’t even fit in with a Laurel and Hardy plot. It’s more like something for The Three Stooges or Abbott & Costello. It's inane!

Academy Award winner F. Murray Abraham is the professor (maybe the F stands for Fast buck). Everyone else in the cast is awful. And what’s the deal with that giant snake at the end?

These “new adventures” were the brainchild of Bozo The Clown entrepreneur Larry Harmon (who died last month) who also happened to own the Laurel & Hardy copyrights. Besides appearing briefly, he co-produced and co-directed with John Cherry III who’s previous work was on “ERNEST” movies. I don’t think the writers of this dreck had ever written a screenplay before!

Pinchot co-starred in the TV sit-com “Perfect Strangers”. Sartain was a regular on Hee-Haw and played coach Don Zimmer in the Showtime bio about Yankees manager Joe Torre. Some of the cast and crew later worked on PIRATES OF THE PLAIN (a family oriented feature with Tim Curry as a pirate transported to the present day) which Cherry directed.


"A committee is a group of the unprepared,
appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary"-Fred Allen

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